02-17-2011, 12:00 AM
Hi Shamanka, I just read this...its not as easy for me to read all teh forum posts these days as there seem to be so many and spread out. So apologies to anyone who posted to me and I didn't respond, likely I didn;t read it...you can alwasy PM me to let me know if you feel I, or want me to respond...I usually do.
Anyway, well, I feel I am misunderstood very often. Becasue what I do here on this forum is I just speak what comes to me. I dont; linger afterwards on what I said. I see people seeing my intereactions as "more than" they are to me. Such as me wantign Gonzo to change. No I just challenge him here, his perspective, I really don't expect change one way or anotehr. Its really hard for me to explain where I'm at now...but I would say controlled folly is a good word. Not all teh time, but many times, I am just testing people and myself, pushign the envelope. But I never really knwo how the other will respond and sometiems they surprise me. Its just the way I communcate here. Please knwo I am not takign the intereaction with G and runimating over it. I post and then forget abotu it. Its sincere I just don't hang onto what I said, especially a casual intereaction such as here.
Matters of the heart are different (things and people I really care about), take more of my energy and feeling, need recap and all that, cry sometimes, yes
so I do understand what you are getting at. If I honestly felt I needed to do this regarding what I said here, I would say so, but this was just a light exchange from my perspective. I feel it was a good challenge for Gonzo too. How he responds is his choice, I don't keep a running tab or even remember what I was challenging, lol, its funny but true. I know its hard to see that based on just seeing the words/posts. So reading intent is anotehr indicator.
Anyway, well, I feel I am misunderstood very often. Becasue what I do here on this forum is I just speak what comes to me. I dont; linger afterwards on what I said. I see people seeing my intereactions as "more than" they are to me. Such as me wantign Gonzo to change. No I just challenge him here, his perspective, I really don't expect change one way or anotehr. Its really hard for me to explain where I'm at now...but I would say controlled folly is a good word. Not all teh time, but many times, I am just testing people and myself, pushign the envelope. But I never really knwo how the other will respond and sometiems they surprise me. Its just the way I communcate here. Please knwo I am not takign the intereaction with G and runimating over it. I post and then forget abotu it. Its sincere I just don't hang onto what I said, especially a casual intereaction such as here.
Matters of the heart are different (things and people I really care about), take more of my energy and feeling, need recap and all that, cry sometimes, yes
so I do understand what you are getting at. If I honestly felt I needed to do this regarding what I said here, I would say so, but this was just a light exchange from my perspective. I feel it was a good challenge for Gonzo too. How he responds is his choice, I don't keep a running tab or even remember what I was challenging, lol, its funny but true. I know its hard to see that based on just seeing the words/posts. So reading intent is anotehr indicator.