12-21-2010, 12:00 AM
from Edgar Allan Poe:
Alone
From childhood's hour I have not been
As others were — I have not seen
As others saw — I could not bring
My passions from a common spring —
From the same source I have not taken
My sorrow — I could not awaken
My heart to joy at the same tone —
And all I lov'd — I lov'd alone —
Then — in my childhood — in the dawn
Of a most stormy life — was drawn
From ev'ry depth of good and ill
The mystery which binds me still —
From the torrent, or the fountain —
From the red cliff of the mountain —
From the sun that 'round me roll'd
In its autumn tint of gold —
From the lightning in the sky
As it pass'd me flying by —
From the thunder, and the storm —
And the cloud that took the form
(When the rest of Heaven was blue)
Of a demon in my view —
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DZbHMmd-pIA
Lots of sadness in my childhood. But always managed to be happy anyway. Was happiest playing by myself, did not always like the intent of other children. They were far too confident and secure. At first I envied and admired them, but now I see they were in a state of insanity and that kept them in a protective bubble of self-assurance, allowed them to venture into the world cocky and sure-eyed while I was always ducking into corners and running from scary entities who chased me. I saw the sorcery world while they only saw the facade. In a way that gave those children an advantage over me, but at the cost of gaining the world but losing one's soul. The soul can be a scary place, and I hung out in it.
Learning to love my child. Heard in my head that motown song, Love Child. Went to see what that was about (looked up lyrics). I see the child was unplanned (as I was) afraid, ashamed...never quite as good..misunderstood. That does describe much of my early years and beyond. Wrong views given to me by others, things I took in internally that were toxic. Now its time to love that child. She was never meant to be...as the song says:
Love Child
Never meant to be
Love Child
(Scorned by) Society
Love Child
Always second best
Love Child
(Different from) Different from the rest
Never meant to be "like the rest".
I ask all you warriors here this same question...aren't you also "different from the rest?" was not your childhood "difficult" and lonely, were there not demons in your view?... We are here in this world, but not for it.
Alone
From childhood's hour I have not been
As others were — I have not seen
As others saw — I could not bring
My passions from a common spring —
From the same source I have not taken
My sorrow — I could not awaken
My heart to joy at the same tone —
And all I lov'd — I lov'd alone —
Then — in my childhood — in the dawn
Of a most stormy life — was drawn
From ev'ry depth of good and ill
The mystery which binds me still —
From the torrent, or the fountain —
From the red cliff of the mountain —
From the sun that 'round me roll'd
In its autumn tint of gold —
From the lightning in the sky
As it pass'd me flying by —
From the thunder, and the storm —
And the cloud that took the form
(When the rest of Heaven was blue)
Of a demon in my view —
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DZbHMmd-pIA
Lots of sadness in my childhood. But always managed to be happy anyway. Was happiest playing by myself, did not always like the intent of other children. They were far too confident and secure. At first I envied and admired them, but now I see they were in a state of insanity and that kept them in a protective bubble of self-assurance, allowed them to venture into the world cocky and sure-eyed while I was always ducking into corners and running from scary entities who chased me. I saw the sorcery world while they only saw the facade. In a way that gave those children an advantage over me, but at the cost of gaining the world but losing one's soul. The soul can be a scary place, and I hung out in it.
Learning to love my child. Heard in my head that motown song, Love Child. Went to see what that was about (looked up lyrics). I see the child was unplanned (as I was) afraid, ashamed...never quite as good..misunderstood. That does describe much of my early years and beyond. Wrong views given to me by others, things I took in internally that were toxic. Now its time to love that child. She was never meant to be...as the song says:
Love Child
Never meant to be
Love Child
(Scorned by) Society
Love Child
Always second best
Love Child
(Different from) Different from the rest
Never meant to be "like the rest".
I ask all you warriors here this same question...aren't you also "different from the rest?" was not your childhood "difficult" and lonely, were there not demons in your view?... We are here in this world, but not for it.