12-09-2007, 12:00 AM
I have been attempting to deal with this since SSilouettes' posts on Castaneda about Narcissism. (Where is SSilouette?)
Anyhow, my situation is that I have never known love; Not Mom or Dad. My birth was a mistake.
Consequently, try as I might, I never learned to love, not even to love myself, of course.
Dysfunction
My relationships were also dysfunctional.
I was full of Anger and misunderstanding.
One strange thing is that once I understood what giving is about, no one was interested in what I had to give. Self-Importance, on their part, I'll bet.
So, how can anyone really love within this perverted culture?
The Castaneda books , other than truly beautiful, though non-human sentiments, from the Toltecs, seem to deal with human love in an indirect manner; of course; there was Carlos' libertinism as well.
Seems that the only choice is to accept one's Fate; better for some than for others like myself.
And it is a damn shame, as I do think that I have somethng to offer, especially to posterity; ie: after my death.
Maybe not;only Spirit judges.
What will be the judgement of Spirit upon those now alive?
The destruction of land has led to the destruction of climate, as the majority live in greed and denial.
OK. That's another story. Or is it?
What the hell is Love, anyway?
I don't know anymore.
BObHawkeye and Crow
Anyhow, my situation is that I have never known love; Not Mom or Dad. My birth was a mistake.
Consequently, try as I might, I never learned to love, not even to love myself, of course.
Dysfunction
My relationships were also dysfunctional.
I was full of Anger and misunderstanding.
One strange thing is that once I understood what giving is about, no one was interested in what I had to give. Self-Importance, on their part, I'll bet.
So, how can anyone really love within this perverted culture?
The Castaneda books , other than truly beautiful, though non-human sentiments, from the Toltecs, seem to deal with human love in an indirect manner; of course; there was Carlos' libertinism as well.
Seems that the only choice is to accept one's Fate; better for some than for others like myself.
And it is a damn shame, as I do think that I have somethng to offer, especially to posterity; ie: after my death.
Maybe not;only Spirit judges.
What will be the judgement of Spirit upon those now alive?
The destruction of land has led to the destruction of climate, as the majority live in greed and denial.
OK. That's another story. Or is it?
What the hell is Love, anyway?
I don't know anymore.
BObHawkeye and Crow