06-02-2017, 12:00 AM
You're speculating, to a degree. It's understandable, most "pick and choose" as you say, and leave the more hurtful stuff untouched/swept under the rug to hopefully leave and forget...but it never goes away.
To address you're example and to be specific. I was sexually abused as a child. And, upon endeavoring upon this path, have gone right back into those moments, to the best of my ability with the best of my awareness, via the recapitulation. Right into the heart of the beast, so to speak, rekindling all that horror mixed with sexual response when I was a pre-teen. It's an ugly combination that leaves years and years of distorted compulsion in its wake that's difficult to process and resolve. Yes, the dwindling echoes of that trauma are still here...and I'm still willing to address them, as infinity sees fit. In as such, I let infinity do the picking and choosing. I'm not beyond cringing.....reflexively pulling away when faced with moments that stimulate what's left of that trauma...or other myriads traumas I've engaged. I'll acknowledge that. But the intent to face what needs to be faced is here. Infinity knows. Infinity sets the agenda and the pacing. "Whatever is needed" is my response.
To address you're example and to be specific. I was sexually abused as a child. And, upon endeavoring upon this path, have gone right back into those moments, to the best of my ability with the best of my awareness, via the recapitulation. Right into the heart of the beast, so to speak, rekindling all that horror mixed with sexual response when I was a pre-teen. It's an ugly combination that leaves years and years of distorted compulsion in its wake that's difficult to process and resolve. Yes, the dwindling echoes of that trauma are still here...and I'm still willing to address them, as infinity sees fit. In as such, I let infinity do the picking and choosing. I'm not beyond cringing.....reflexively pulling away when faced with moments that stimulate what's left of that trauma...or other myriads traumas I've engaged. I'll acknowledge that. But the intent to face what needs to be faced is here. Infinity knows. Infinity sets the agenda and the pacing. "Whatever is needed" is my response.