11-26-2017, 12:01 AM
Pixie Dust wrote:Le_Regard wrote:
Pixie Dust wrote:Lol. Just forget the logistics of it. *** the fine print. I never cared for rules and regulations anyway. I would rather die free than live chained.
You were always so difficult to convince. Tedious and careful.
I always wanted to play. You always wanted to read. How we're even friends is beyond me.
I mean, so what if you don't know all the rules. Just make them up as you go and sound convincing. Why are you always so serious? It's not like we're guarding missile codes.
The logistics is the interesting part.
Anyone can shoot a gun, but it's hardcore if you know where bullets come from.
There was a famous US Army general that said something like, "Amateurs talk strategy. Professionals talk logistics."
I think the strategy is over with... so... professionalism it is.
I don't want to chain you up. I do however feel very strongly that maybe if I were, just by coincidence, the kind of person you'd like to be around voluntarily then maybe that would not be such a bad thing.
Writing books is playing too, isn't it?
You've always been someone I enjoy being around voluntarily. I'm just super touchy having people close to me right now. This is good for now and let's just see how this goes.
To be honest, I'm barely keeping my head above water. I've seen better days. There's been a lot of pressure. It's not been easy watching over everyone. It took a lot out of me, emotionally and spiritually. I can't risk losing more of myself because there's just not much left of me. I'm not quite a person you want to be close to right now because I'm not ok. I can't explain what I mean by that, but it's safe to assume there's quite a bit I haven't shared that's affecting me. I want you close because you're familiar. Just not too close because there's still a lot of turmoil.
I'm trying to figure out how to be ok. Business is great though. To be perfectly honest, I think I have PTSD. I can function, but I get triggered by certain things and can't function. It's been a struggle and so I've been keeping away everyone but those who are actively helping me recover.
It really is me, not you. Know that I enjoy the simple exchanges we have here. It gives me a break from more complex concerns. It's also nice to laugh at someone else for a change. So carry on with your speculations. It's nice to have muggle company for a change.I don't have a very good response to any of that.
But 1.) please do not underestimate what I'm capable of dealing with out of some kind of compassion for ME and 2.) if we can't share each other's burdens there is maybe no point to doing any of this at all.
I can't say a lot about that without giving away Masonic secrets (and the whole "brotherhood" narrative kind of breaks down at several points anyway) but suffice it to say I do mean that, and while I can respect your boundaries, none of that has actually frightened me away.
Pixie Dust wrote:Lol. Just forget the logistics of it. *** the fine print. I never cared for rules and regulations anyway. I would rather die free than live chained.
You were always so difficult to convince. Tedious and careful.
I always wanted to play. You always wanted to read. How we're even friends is beyond me.
I mean, so what if you don't know all the rules. Just make them up as you go and sound convincing. Why are you always so serious? It's not like we're guarding missile codes.
The logistics is the interesting part.
Anyone can shoot a gun, but it's hardcore if you know where bullets come from.
There was a famous US Army general that said something like, "Amateurs talk strategy. Professionals talk logistics."
I think the strategy is over with... so... professionalism it is.
I don't want to chain you up. I do however feel very strongly that maybe if I were, just by coincidence, the kind of person you'd like to be around voluntarily then maybe that would not be such a bad thing.
Writing books is playing too, isn't it?
You've always been someone I enjoy being around voluntarily. I'm just super touchy having people close to me right now. This is good for now and let's just see how this goes.
To be honest, I'm barely keeping my head above water. I've seen better days. There's been a lot of pressure. It's not been easy watching over everyone. It took a lot out of me, emotionally and spiritually. I can't risk losing more of myself because there's just not much left of me. I'm not quite a person you want to be close to right now because I'm not ok. I can't explain what I mean by that, but it's safe to assume there's quite a bit I haven't shared that's affecting me. I want you close because you're familiar. Just not too close because there's still a lot of turmoil.
I'm trying to figure out how to be ok. Business is great though. To be perfectly honest, I think I have PTSD. I can function, but I get triggered by certain things and can't function. It's been a struggle and so I've been keeping away everyone but those who are actively helping me recover.
It really is me, not you. Know that I enjoy the simple exchanges we have here. It gives me a break from more complex concerns. It's also nice to laugh at someone else for a change. So carry on with your speculations. It's nice to have muggle company for a change.I don't have a very good response to any of that.
But 1.) please do not underestimate what I'm capable of dealing with out of some kind of compassion for ME and 2.) if we can't share each other's burdens there is maybe no point to doing any of this at all.
I can't say a lot about that without giving away Masonic secrets (and the whole "brotherhood" narrative kind of breaks down at several points anyway) but suffice it to say I do mean that, and while I can respect your boundaries, none of that has actually frightened me away.