01-08-2018, 12:00 AM
ponder this situation from my past...
People are leaving a room. I find myself in front of the narrow door exit with the shaman and me heading for it in a 'at the same time' kinda way. We are both moving to the exit and notice each other and that we shall collide if neither adjusts her course. I see it in her eyes that she sees it. We are very close to the door, there is no time to just slow down naturally to let her pass first.
I am younger by some decades, not to mention it is clear where power lies lol, not to mention it is someone I respect and I want to not inconvenience the shaman as much as possible. I am aware how this will happen in a most effective way. I speed up and slip through the door while the shaman keeps her pace and does not have to alter it in any way.
Having done this I realize in retrospect that me moving before the shaman might be interpreted as being disrespectful. But there is nothing to be done any more with that. The way I saw it in that split nanosecond that I had to decide was that if I stop to let her pass it would just result in her stopping as well until this ritual is resolved and then she'd go fist with a smile and I'd go second and all would be properly polite and respectful and whatnot. But what I did, was that I did a maneuver... I had to be nimble and swift. It actually meant I had to do more effort. I inconvenienced myself not to inconvenience her. Was that not respectful and polite? Was it less respectful? I do not know. I only know what the moment felt like for me. I did not see how she reacted because she was behind me when this was happening (I can imagine her being a bit surprised and then doing her different type of smile thing).
Like I said, it could easily be interpreted as being insolent and disrespectful. But someone seeing behind things who were looking at me would know that I did it out of respect. One would be a social form of respect/politeness, the other was an energetic/movement/flow form of respect/politeness. But it still gets me to wonder sometimes at these kinds of things
I respected the flow of the shaman more than the social constructs. Choices choices 
People are leaving a room. I find myself in front of the narrow door exit with the shaman and me heading for it in a 'at the same time' kinda way. We are both moving to the exit and notice each other and that we shall collide if neither adjusts her course. I see it in her eyes that she sees it. We are very close to the door, there is no time to just slow down naturally to let her pass first.
I am younger by some decades, not to mention it is clear where power lies lol, not to mention it is someone I respect and I want to not inconvenience the shaman as much as possible. I am aware how this will happen in a most effective way. I speed up and slip through the door while the shaman keeps her pace and does not have to alter it in any way.
Having done this I realize in retrospect that me moving before the shaman might be interpreted as being disrespectful. But there is nothing to be done any more with that. The way I saw it in that split nanosecond that I had to decide was that if I stop to let her pass it would just result in her stopping as well until this ritual is resolved and then she'd go fist with a smile and I'd go second and all would be properly polite and respectful and whatnot. But what I did, was that I did a maneuver... I had to be nimble and swift. It actually meant I had to do more effort. I inconvenienced myself not to inconvenience her. Was that not respectful and polite? Was it less respectful? I do not know. I only know what the moment felt like for me. I did not see how she reacted because she was behind me when this was happening (I can imagine her being a bit surprised and then doing her different type of smile thing).
Like I said, it could easily be interpreted as being insolent and disrespectful. But someone seeing behind things who were looking at me would know that I did it out of respect. One would be a social form of respect/politeness, the other was an energetic/movement/flow form of respect/politeness. But it still gets me to wonder sometimes at these kinds of things
I respected the flow of the shaman more than the social constructs
. Choices choices