07-12-2014, 12:00 AM
Hi to you all,
I'm Mist, an old time seeker of truths whom came upon many things.
I use to speak either too much or just a few words, time is so long that i find silence often say more and quicker than words but here, silence is not a easely used as in "common world"...
So let's say i faced death a dozen years ago and returned from this state... Not as sane or not as stupid as i was. Since then, i searched truth which last beyond my experience... I have done this and a Hard recap of my lives (the many views of a single life, at some point, this makes many lives). Sadly this recap is not yet complete (!).
I encoutered many difficulties which i had to manage sometimes using half-madness, sometimes using more "sane" means, like scientific method and linkings... This lead me to interesting experiences of visions, in states in between wake and dreams...
This is many years i try to enter deep dreams at will, yet death facing was quite a strong experience which had to be both understood, recaped and healed; preventing me to enter deep-deep trance at will.
I had to readapt my knowledges, my understandings and wordings... This was a very important (in term of size) of my work as words has been, at some point, my main line to get back to a common reality. It has been hards times but i done this alone or nearly alone (if it was not with the double i gained from "facing death", it was somehow here before anyway *whistle*)
Thus words in this post may not be linked correctly to the "nagual" language tradition, i'm quite sorry about this even if i think it will not alter your understanding... The insight i had about posting was too strong compared to the time needed to (re)adapt to the language of the forum.
I will explain a bit my relation to the Nagual tradition a bit later. For now, let's get back to the "altered states" experience:
I had interesting dreams, lucid by times but my understanding of the working of the "dream dimenssion" and of the "ether/spirital dimenssion" has been lacking the key i needed to stabilise my experiences... So i had many, many of many but in quite a chaotic manner. The use of power plant has not much-much helped such patterns, yet my "death facing" shock has.
This way, as i havent been able to enter dream at will, i mostly worked on a semi-dream state... DARM! This has been so muuuch time... I started to think about my death-facing and "past-life" about ten years ago... I started to progress on meditation about five years ago and even if i was unable to medidate well (à la "Zen", lotus posture and peace of mind) it helped my insight of "internal-body" working and a ease to go into light-trance.
Yet as a part was still horrified by the experience of death-facing, i "only" worked in and around semi-dreams but saying demi-dream would may be be more accurate in fact...
In this kind of state, where the "double" was more or less sleeping but not enought deeply and not enought relaxed to give me full power over the dense-dream (which i have on many levels and parts anyway...) i worked extensively on my physic body; observing it, easing it and letting the vision coming in when it happened, trying to keep as relaxed and attentive as i could.
In this state, i had so many visions in black & white whereas i would have liked to dream in full color... This state has been quite boring for this reason as something else than black and white was (as still is...) needed to ... hrmmm... let's say live a bit of my obssessive parts...
Theses obssessive parts searching to express has been a problem for so many years... In fact this is an older problem than the death-facing "shock"!
Anyway, in this state of neither awake neither dreaming neither fully-clearminded neither fully-sleeping, i worked toward my physical body and this lead me to have vision of my DNA (!). This has been quite surprising to my understanding but it appared despite of my sapience doubt that is was effectly DNA (and later proteins) i was seeing.
I followed theses vision for a long time of my "meditations", hoping, as ever, that it would helps to unlock something... It did not unlock my "full power over the dream" thought... May be it eased internal body interlinked-communication anyway.
While theses black and white vision contiuned, sometimes following trails of DNA, sometimes following trails of stars, of neurons or of pains, sometimes trying to manage my boredom and trying to become more patient toward it, i contiuned my recap work. Pffft... .... Experience with people and "wild-life" hasn't been much around for theses times...
Yet, despite one of my double not easely sleeping while another was obsseded and another was keeping concentrated where as I or i don't know who was still trying to have a bit of fun; I tryed to find other uses of this "black and white half trance" state. With no-one being able to instruct my understanding or relaxation it happened anyway that i started to have a bit more understanding of the emotional levels of the double, taking this into account i tryed to "help" them getting healthy-er; often going into past-ages to help my old self(s) to manage both their situation and mine...
Wha! I'm nervous so much work was managed to be done... This! And i still can't dream properly! Yet i did not loose my obssiveness... at least; theses obssessions has become part of my art-mind!
Ok, so i worked mainly alone. I have quite a problem still not entering the deep-dream at will but i have another at least as much hard problem: i have too much power over some of my dreams and not yet enought knowledge of it's latent working. This lead me to be able to "cheat" gravity, even on a very small part of the dream but this has proven to create stability problem because for example, observers come in and their emotions make the dream collapse.
This put aside, it also happened that i go from color dreams back to black and white, yet the dream loose it's consistency or it's ability to give more content or to keep stable while gravity/density is still present. So it may happens i walk, and the dream become grey like if there was not enought matter to continue to construct the background... I have no real clue how to get a good power over this...
This is where my work is "stilled" for now, yet it still happens i get understanding of the physical body or of other parts of reality, be it past or present.
Thus all is said, except my link to the Nagual tradition.
I meet an important person some years ago, we spoked a lot about meditation and yoga and this was interesting... I have seen here for a short period but a year or two later, i remembered she spoke about nagual... Only a sentence or two... May be this was enought to open the door of the Nagual Path... yes... may be... I discovered Castaneda and worked more with a "nagual/shamanic view" some month after this meeting whereas i was more close to a "straight meditation" path before this.
For me death has already biten if not eaten me, so i work on my futur life mainly, thus i hope i will at least become invisible (if i keep un-mortal in this earthly world) or that i'll be able to change my body... Me would like have fun in the world without too much harm to others... And I need a proper body for this *whistle*
Greetings to you, Naguals, seekers of truths, bored persons and greetinners
P.S.: Hope this text did not hurt eyes much ;D
I'm Mist, an old time seeker of truths whom came upon many things.
I use to speak either too much or just a few words, time is so long that i find silence often say more and quicker than words but here, silence is not a easely used as in "common world"...
So let's say i faced death a dozen years ago and returned from this state... Not as sane or not as stupid as i was. Since then, i searched truth which last beyond my experience... I have done this and a Hard recap of my lives (the many views of a single life, at some point, this makes many lives). Sadly this recap is not yet complete (!).
I encoutered many difficulties which i had to manage sometimes using half-madness, sometimes using more "sane" means, like scientific method and linkings... This lead me to interesting experiences of visions, in states in between wake and dreams...
This is many years i try to enter deep dreams at will, yet death facing was quite a strong experience which had to be both understood, recaped and healed; preventing me to enter deep-deep trance at will.
I had to readapt my knowledges, my understandings and wordings... This was a very important (in term of size) of my work as words has been, at some point, my main line to get back to a common reality. It has been hards times but i done this alone or nearly alone (if it was not with the double i gained from "facing death", it was somehow here before anyway *whistle*)
Thus words in this post may not be linked correctly to the "nagual" language tradition, i'm quite sorry about this even if i think it will not alter your understanding... The insight i had about posting was too strong compared to the time needed to (re)adapt to the language of the forum.
I will explain a bit my relation to the Nagual tradition a bit later. For now, let's get back to the "altered states" experience:
I had interesting dreams, lucid by times but my understanding of the working of the "dream dimenssion" and of the "ether/spirital dimenssion" has been lacking the key i needed to stabilise my experiences... So i had many, many of many but in quite a chaotic manner. The use of power plant has not much-much helped such patterns, yet my "death facing" shock has.
This way, as i havent been able to enter dream at will, i mostly worked on a semi-dream state... DARM! This has been so muuuch time... I started to think about my death-facing and "past-life" about ten years ago... I started to progress on meditation about five years ago and even if i was unable to medidate well (à la "Zen", lotus posture and peace of mind) it helped my insight of "internal-body" working and a ease to go into light-trance.
Yet as a part was still horrified by the experience of death-facing, i "only" worked in and around semi-dreams but saying demi-dream would may be be more accurate in fact...
In this kind of state, where the "double" was more or less sleeping but not enought deeply and not enought relaxed to give me full power over the dense-dream (which i have on many levels and parts anyway...) i worked extensively on my physic body; observing it, easing it and letting the vision coming in when it happened, trying to keep as relaxed and attentive as i could.
In this state, i had so many visions in black & white whereas i would have liked to dream in full color... This state has been quite boring for this reason as something else than black and white was (as still is...) needed to ... hrmmm... let's say live a bit of my obssessive parts...
Theses obssessive parts searching to express has been a problem for so many years... In fact this is an older problem than the death-facing "shock"!
Anyway, in this state of neither awake neither dreaming neither fully-clearminded neither fully-sleeping, i worked toward my physical body and this lead me to have vision of my DNA (!). This has been quite surprising to my understanding but it appared despite of my sapience doubt that is was effectly DNA (and later proteins) i was seeing.
I followed theses vision for a long time of my "meditations", hoping, as ever, that it would helps to unlock something... It did not unlock my "full power over the dream" thought... May be it eased internal body interlinked-communication anyway.
While theses black and white vision contiuned, sometimes following trails of DNA, sometimes following trails of stars, of neurons or of pains, sometimes trying to manage my boredom and trying to become more patient toward it, i contiuned my recap work. Pffft... .... Experience with people and "wild-life" hasn't been much around for theses times...
Yet, despite one of my double not easely sleeping while another was obsseded and another was keeping concentrated where as I or i don't know who was still trying to have a bit of fun; I tryed to find other uses of this "black and white half trance" state. With no-one being able to instruct my understanding or relaxation it happened anyway that i started to have a bit more understanding of the emotional levels of the double, taking this into account i tryed to "help" them getting healthy-er; often going into past-ages to help my old self(s) to manage both their situation and mine...
Wha! I'm nervous so much work was managed to be done... This! And i still can't dream properly! Yet i did not loose my obssiveness... at least; theses obssessions has become part of my art-mind!
Ok, so i worked mainly alone. I have quite a problem still not entering the deep-dream at will but i have another at least as much hard problem: i have too much power over some of my dreams and not yet enought knowledge of it's latent working. This lead me to be able to "cheat" gravity, even on a very small part of the dream but this has proven to create stability problem because for example, observers come in and their emotions make the dream collapse.
This put aside, it also happened that i go from color dreams back to black and white, yet the dream loose it's consistency or it's ability to give more content or to keep stable while gravity/density is still present. So it may happens i walk, and the dream become grey like if there was not enought matter to continue to construct the background... I have no real clue how to get a good power over this...
This is where my work is "stilled" for now, yet it still happens i get understanding of the physical body or of other parts of reality, be it past or present.
Thus all is said, except my link to the Nagual tradition.
I meet an important person some years ago, we spoked a lot about meditation and yoga and this was interesting... I have seen here for a short period but a year or two later, i remembered she spoke about nagual... Only a sentence or two... May be this was enought to open the door of the Nagual Path... yes... may be... I discovered Castaneda and worked more with a "nagual/shamanic view" some month after this meeting whereas i was more close to a "straight meditation" path before this.
For me death has already biten if not eaten me, so i work on my futur life mainly, thus i hope i will at least become invisible (if i keep un-mortal in this earthly world) or that i'll be able to change my body... Me would like have fun in the world without too much harm to others... And I need a proper body for this *whistle*
Greetings to you, Naguals, seekers of truths, bored persons and greetinners
P.S.: Hope this text did not hurt eyes much ;D