03-30-2014, 12:00 AM
Hello everyone, I havent found time to introduce myself because I did not found it important, but now I do think it is because introducing is the only thing we or world does to us every moment and thus between human is the first impression about how who looks, what does he do and how can interact with him, gain from him.
It is said, that warrior speaks through his acts, in his acts and that the path is pathless in means where it begun or will end.
However there are certain moments where the spirit speaks through warrior's acts, that directs and unveiling him his trail.
Don juan spoken to castaneda something about the portfolio and every portfolio that is piece of art is made of memorable moments on, everywhere the path was visible.
My started very soon, right after I was born, I was strange white hands reaching to me into darkness and then gray alien faces on white lighten background.
Next was in hospital area between building, My mother were taking me on an chichurgical operation of right shoulder where I had some kind of a tumour from some bad vaccinne which was in reality some kind of a malighnat diseasea that settled and grewn as tumour lump in my shoulder, it was sunliten day and I felt "cozy" it was one of those summer days. I was holding my mothers hand and walking alongside there I asked her simply and easy-goingly "Where are we going?" and she answered me by little tightening voice "To doctor, he is going to take out tumour grown in your shoulder, because they you gave wrong medicine".
About Year later, I was in my bedstead playing with bunch of balloons simple moment of joy, then after three hours when started to be night, my father came to me with smile and asked "Do you wanna watch with us television ?" I nodded in child innocence and he took me in arms came through dark hall into room on which end was white screen with some gray hues moving inside it and the light was blinking, when he sat me infront of television on divan at my side was sitting my 7 years old brother and he looked weary and hypnozzited. I looked on screen and there were black-white film with fastly changing video shoots from 2.WW.
Next was when I was at countryside at my grandma in village surrounded by deep woods from all sides, I had there around 40 friends that were of all ages from 5-16 and we were preparing scene to theatre play which was some kidn fairy-tale and I was playing blue nix in green jacket, I had even blue make-up all over my skin, green elastic leggings, mainly gleaming green wig, pot-hap and We had alot of fun there because allmost fourty children were all having roles, some were animals and other magical creatures that were humanoids, one guy even had the luck to play a cockroawch. Really alots of fun we enjoyed there.
We had, the whole areal of post-renessant by green over-grewn ramshackle palace, only for ourselves. It was like beign in magic land of fantasy.
After year or two later I was going by the side of forest and river with my grandma, the nature and everything felt fresh, everywhere sounded echoes of birds, insects and the sound of effervescent flowing river,
I was just enjoying the road and talking with my grandma about god and love, I learned so much that evening that I cant be enough glad for her kind words. As we were walking we came under high bridge, it was strangle place with rocks at great white cement pillar and the air was hyperborean in the shadow of the great bridge construction above head in 80 meters, I was jumping around running from place to place like small kids usually do and in bliss of joy asked my grandmother "Lets play on beign turtle ninjas!" and we played on them, pretending doing of kung fu and ninjutsu, it was fun.
Next happened in school and I decided to love one girl, because she was the most pretty girl in class, her name was Monica and I gave her in secret alot of gifts on the sly - messages and pictures and mainly characters from kinder-suprises, which was italian chocolate egg, but everytime I said her that I love her she laughed into my face and did from it a class farce.
Two years later in school there was this one girl named Bara which I really loved, she had orange eyes and looked like french-cat mixed with peruvian, she was not like other girls she was dexterous in painting,
but I never told her I love her.
Three years latter on the outdoor school, journey with school class on two weeks into cottages in forest. We - boys were playing football and our class against higher class and we all did not liked one guy who looked like pig in the higher class and as we were playing I was all the time doing him fauls, beign brutal to him and shouted on him the worst insults I knew, for 90 minutes of the match. Then when we were back at cottage, out-door tutor came to me took me from the room and to the wall and said me how bad I was acting and that I was like unleashed from chains and threatened me that if I wont write on paper letter all I done bad as if I were writing it to my mother, he will make sure I well get class reprimand and will be sent home straight away, he was very forward and tough on me and made me cry like a small girl, and I was crying and writing for hours into night. Few days later when we were having hours of free time we were walking with my friend between cottages and trees on the side of the lake and before one cottage was this pig guy from higher grade and he had "scream" mask on his face as I was walking around him with my friend I said him he looks like condom and we laughed with my friend walking past. Day after, before going back home, we were having a "Disco" girls were dancing with boys, there was also a group of breakdancers that showed off their skills there, the pig guy was one of them. Fifteen minutes later when I came out of toilete this pig guy, took me by shoulder out of doors next to the toilete that were to the outside. The moment he passed me throw the doors I was surrounded by the group of breakdancers that were all head or more higher than me, and made me, situation was without escape and anxious, I knew they are going to do something very very bad. They started spilling insults from all the sides around me and pinned me into anxiousness, they started knucking with their hands-joint and few moments later I would to be physically punished for my contumacy and agitatory. From Sudden out of doors flew our class teacher and the circle around me spreaded a little as the they were distracted from their doings by the schoolmistress's aproach. Half second after she started angrily throw remorses: "What are you doing here?! You were prohibited from going out of disco!. You are to be inside!" took me by the shoulder and hurled me through the doors into the blinking and colored lights of disco and beats of magic. I felt like something big fell of me and for minute laughed from what right now happened and how I was miracously saved.
Next was when I was on high school on the way to school, it was a private graphic school, full of cool guys and nice modern gals, as if the most interesting people were always drawn to art.
I was on the way to school and deciding if I will "Go into some girl", like trying to get her, but from sudden decided to not care about girls, that the right, tru eone will show up herself and it made me felt easy.
I always knew there is some kind of a spirituality behind all this, that we all have souls, Tao and things like that and knew that if you want to achieve anything you have to have a friend, someone who goes the same path. There was this guy in class noone liked him, he looked like "discant" with blonde hair and wearing make-up, he was also the most aggresive guy form the class, and definitively noone would take him as a gay.
Once after class of physics I was loudly joking with friends in class, he was sitting few places from me, propably listening while eating brunch, after while he got up, walked to me and asked "You calculated the einstein equations by yourself ?" I said "Yea" but did not told him that it was originaly a joke, as I was playing the interesting one. He said "cool, what about we go smoke some joints into forest?" I said "Okay, I got a free time." I do not remember what happened in the forest.
Years and months later, I awoken from unknown of dreamless sleep with undeletable overal feeling that nothing won't be like it ever was ever again. That the reality will never again stay the same, that everything changed and will forever shifts and that I am someone completely different, with absolutely different skills, predispositions, abilites and prioretes. I saw everyone I meet as possibility of me of how I look somewhere deep within inside myself, but somehow else and much more different and better, now in this body, that I am Don Juan and not the non-magical, troubled human, my old self began invisible and dissapeared after waking up this day and nothing ever after that day was and is the same like ever before and the only thing I know surely is that it forever never will be.
It is said, that warrior speaks through his acts, in his acts and that the path is pathless in means where it begun or will end.
However there are certain moments where the spirit speaks through warrior's acts, that directs and unveiling him his trail.
Don juan spoken to castaneda something about the portfolio and every portfolio that is piece of art is made of memorable moments on, everywhere the path was visible.
My started very soon, right after I was born, I was strange white hands reaching to me into darkness and then gray alien faces on white lighten background.
Next was in hospital area between building, My mother were taking me on an chichurgical operation of right shoulder where I had some kind of a tumour from some bad vaccinne which was in reality some kind of a malighnat diseasea that settled and grewn as tumour lump in my shoulder, it was sunliten day and I felt "cozy" it was one of those summer days. I was holding my mothers hand and walking alongside there I asked her simply and easy-goingly "Where are we going?" and she answered me by little tightening voice "To doctor, he is going to take out tumour grown in your shoulder, because they you gave wrong medicine".
About Year later, I was in my bedstead playing with bunch of balloons simple moment of joy, then after three hours when started to be night, my father came to me with smile and asked "Do you wanna watch with us television ?" I nodded in child innocence and he took me in arms came through dark hall into room on which end was white screen with some gray hues moving inside it and the light was blinking, when he sat me infront of television on divan at my side was sitting my 7 years old brother and he looked weary and hypnozzited. I looked on screen and there were black-white film with fastly changing video shoots from 2.WW.
Next was when I was at countryside at my grandma in village surrounded by deep woods from all sides, I had there around 40 friends that were of all ages from 5-16 and we were preparing scene to theatre play which was some kidn fairy-tale and I was playing blue nix in green jacket, I had even blue make-up all over my skin, green elastic leggings, mainly gleaming green wig, pot-hap and We had alot of fun there because allmost fourty children were all having roles, some were animals and other magical creatures that were humanoids, one guy even had the luck to play a cockroawch. Really alots of fun we enjoyed there.
We had, the whole areal of post-renessant by green over-grewn ramshackle palace, only for ourselves. It was like beign in magic land of fantasy.
After year or two later I was going by the side of forest and river with my grandma, the nature and everything felt fresh, everywhere sounded echoes of birds, insects and the sound of effervescent flowing river,
I was just enjoying the road and talking with my grandma about god and love, I learned so much that evening that I cant be enough glad for her kind words. As we were walking we came under high bridge, it was strangle place with rocks at great white cement pillar and the air was hyperborean in the shadow of the great bridge construction above head in 80 meters, I was jumping around running from place to place like small kids usually do and in bliss of joy asked my grandmother "Lets play on beign turtle ninjas!" and we played on them, pretending doing of kung fu and ninjutsu, it was fun.
Next happened in school and I decided to love one girl, because she was the most pretty girl in class, her name was Monica and I gave her in secret alot of gifts on the sly - messages and pictures and mainly characters from kinder-suprises, which was italian chocolate egg, but everytime I said her that I love her she laughed into my face and did from it a class farce.
Two years later in school there was this one girl named Bara which I really loved, she had orange eyes and looked like french-cat mixed with peruvian, she was not like other girls she was dexterous in painting,
but I never told her I love her.
Three years latter on the outdoor school, journey with school class on two weeks into cottages in forest. We - boys were playing football and our class against higher class and we all did not liked one guy who looked like pig in the higher class and as we were playing I was all the time doing him fauls, beign brutal to him and shouted on him the worst insults I knew, for 90 minutes of the match. Then when we were back at cottage, out-door tutor came to me took me from the room and to the wall and said me how bad I was acting and that I was like unleashed from chains and threatened me that if I wont write on paper letter all I done bad as if I were writing it to my mother, he will make sure I well get class reprimand and will be sent home straight away, he was very forward and tough on me and made me cry like a small girl, and I was crying and writing for hours into night. Few days later when we were having hours of free time we were walking with my friend between cottages and trees on the side of the lake and before one cottage was this pig guy from higher grade and he had "scream" mask on his face as I was walking around him with my friend I said him he looks like condom and we laughed with my friend walking past. Day after, before going back home, we were having a "Disco" girls were dancing with boys, there was also a group of breakdancers that showed off their skills there, the pig guy was one of them. Fifteen minutes later when I came out of toilete this pig guy, took me by shoulder out of doors next to the toilete that were to the outside. The moment he passed me throw the doors I was surrounded by the group of breakdancers that were all head or more higher than me, and made me, situation was without escape and anxious, I knew they are going to do something very very bad. They started spilling insults from all the sides around me and pinned me into anxiousness, they started knucking with their hands-joint and few moments later I would to be physically punished for my contumacy and agitatory. From Sudden out of doors flew our class teacher and the circle around me spreaded a little as the they were distracted from their doings by the schoolmistress's aproach. Half second after she started angrily throw remorses: "What are you doing here?! You were prohibited from going out of disco!. You are to be inside!" took me by the shoulder and hurled me through the doors into the blinking and colored lights of disco and beats of magic. I felt like something big fell of me and for minute laughed from what right now happened and how I was miracously saved.
Next was when I was on high school on the way to school, it was a private graphic school, full of cool guys and nice modern gals, as if the most interesting people were always drawn to art.
I was on the way to school and deciding if I will "Go into some girl", like trying to get her, but from sudden decided to not care about girls, that the right, tru eone will show up herself and it made me felt easy.
I always knew there is some kind of a spirituality behind all this, that we all have souls, Tao and things like that and knew that if you want to achieve anything you have to have a friend, someone who goes the same path. There was this guy in class noone liked him, he looked like "discant" with blonde hair and wearing make-up, he was also the most aggresive guy form the class, and definitively noone would take him as a gay.
Once after class of physics I was loudly joking with friends in class, he was sitting few places from me, propably listening while eating brunch, after while he got up, walked to me and asked "You calculated the einstein equations by yourself ?" I said "Yea" but did not told him that it was originaly a joke, as I was playing the interesting one. He said "cool, what about we go smoke some joints into forest?" I said "Okay, I got a free time." I do not remember what happened in the forest.
Years and months later, I awoken from unknown of dreamless sleep with undeletable overal feeling that nothing won't be like it ever was ever again. That the reality will never again stay the same, that everything changed and will forever shifts and that I am someone completely different, with absolutely different skills, predispositions, abilites and prioretes. I saw everyone I meet as possibility of me of how I look somewhere deep within inside myself, but somehow else and much more different and better, now in this body, that I am Don Juan and not the non-magical, troubled human, my old self began invisible and dissapeared after waking up this day and nothing ever after that day was and is the same like ever before and the only thing I know surely is that it forever never will be.