A Sincere Apology

[glance left]

Ok..this is important for me...to voice right out here in the open for all to see.  I do it without any expectation whatsoever of any response....it is a gesture I need to make in acknowledgment of my behavior...it is my responsibility.
When I was with Lujan Matus at Parallel Perception, I projected harshness, self-righteousness, and outright slander toward LoneWolf and this those of this forum....some of you in particular here.  I need to own it so, here goes...
Turin (if you're here)...I was being a brat confronting/harrassing you about something petty, looking back...so much so that its embarrassing to reflect upon...but there it is.   From a Biblical perspective, I was screaming about the speck in your eye while ignoring the lumber in my own.  I see it now...and I apologize.  It was arrogant and overbearing...boorish.  I regret it. 
Ninth (you here, too?)  same goes...willing to look at what I felt were your flaws without being openly honest about my own...without my presentation being tempered by that.  Approaching you like this made me feel superior....important...like an authority.  I'm not...and I don't want to be.  You told me to "*** off!" in so many words LOL! and I'm sure in many ways I deserved it.  At least you were creative about it.  Being called a "horse-shitter!" is one of the rare moments of my life...I will never forget it!
Lex....you were a voice of wisdom perennially within the forum...but I needed to get above you...to be important..to be Lujan's right hand man...so I levied my aggression towards you blindly..without knowing what the *** I was talking about.  My myopia is my reponsibility...and acting blindly injures..myself and others.  I should have withdrawn into humility until I could see clearly, but I didn't.  I apologize for "hurling rocks" as you made your way out the door.  You were superb in your "turning the other cheek" so to speak.  You hardly said a word in response.  That's admirable.
Ravenmoon...like Lex, I've looked up to you from the moment you flourished as a warrior at PP...and perhaps that was my first mistake, in a manner of speaking...humble respect should have been the proper perspective.  But I considered you "over me" so, naturally, when it was my turn to be "over you" I jumped at the chance, all the while using Lujan's approval to bolster faux confidence.  Down deep, I knew your stance was a brave one...pointing out in Lujan what I knew was true down deep...warning signs regarding his character deficits (we all have them, of course) which flashed again and again but I never heeded because I was beguiled by flattery...by a feeling of prominence from within the group.  You told me I "sold out", after you'd made your break, and you were right.  I was more than happy to compromise myself, stepping into the vacancy you left behind in order to be closer to the top.  This is not warriorism.  This is politics...and I regret playing at it.
Wolf....to you and to those you represent here...anyone I levied self-righteous behavior towards...I truly apologize.  I did everything in my power to discredit you and those here in your forum.....it was slanderous.  Regardless of who's "spell" I was under at the time, it is my weakness and need for approval that rendered the spell effective...and it is my move towards strength to acknowledge it straight up, here and now.  I'm eager to be strengthened that much more by sharing my warrior's intent with all of you here.  Humbly at your service....
Glance (um...maybe I should change my name?

[scout1]

NLW does not give a **** about dude..

[glance left]

I'm sure....but nevertheless....

[Guest]

Scout, don't answer for other members. That's not a true answer then.





Glance, everyone in the entire world owes everyone else an apology. But then again, do we really? Not saying I don't accept your apology, I'm saying I would be an arrogant **** to think I deserve one haha. But I do appreciate your warriorism and desire to bring justice. I believe justice was with you all along my friend. If you did your best then but see now how you could do better, that just time and wisdom that shapes us. Note I said 'us' and not you. There cannot be a single person who does not know this experience themselves.

[glance left]

Raven....well said and taken to heart



Moving on then.....

[mocomoracho]

Yes i feel the end of my boot got stuck in someones bum too. : ) it was a bum kicking festival though . the festival of the biggest boots.

[mocomoracho]

I feel the boogie man owes me an apology. : ( @ boogie androgomen .

[glance left]

Lol! No more tar baby for this brer rabbit

[scout1]

[Senear]

So glance, i take it you used to act like this guy towards animals you were led to believe quacked at you wrong? I feel you pain... lol

[Guest]

Well, the boot kicking happens everywhere, not just at forums and not only by some. Its just the condition of being human until one loses form.

[Senear]

Yea hehe. Ive been that guy more times then i can count. And the little ducky. Hence the "I feel your pain". Did I mention i intended that in my best bill Clinton impersonation voice, one finger bent before me for emphasis? hehe.

[scout1]

she doesnt speak with me i dunno if she is reading the apologies at all



and the whole world owes me apology for not recognizing this great boy

[mocomoracho]

I find it endlessly fascinating ,

that it can be said that one does something to another ,

which

only lies at a certain threshold of intelligence to be stumbled upon intelligently .

And it also being flawed after a time ,

as greater awareness arrives it becomes a redundant metamorphosis ,

the speck in my eye that you stand above to see , indeed belongs to the reflection in your own ,

metaphorically ,

so the structural framework shifts ,

but the eye slowly becomes the same if it does not see itself in the process .

Any one who has witnessed this will be hard to convince that the formula being used by the one reporting to have discovered,

cancels out their own need to press .

" press "

all being equal ,

the separation appears where ?

So an ability to proceed intelligently must come about to press intelligently.

[scout1]

[Nagual LoneWolf]

I have communicated with Glance privately but will add here that no apology is needed but I honor it as a warrior statement of intent. It is good to see again and again that the path with heart is always the best path for a warrior on the path to power.

[Mornings Son]

Glance thank you for you bravery and honesty!

It is brave to step forward and admit ones mistakes.



For me (and maybe other too) you clear the past out of my listening to you, now I don't know who the *** you are )))

Which mean there is new things possible.

Well, I do have that impression that you have a powerful intuition/Seeing and a sharp mind.

[Turin Otzaki]

Good to hear from you Glance.

[glance left]

Good to hear from you, too Turin



"now I don't know who the *** you are" LOL! It is good to be unknown, Morning....cleared space for abstract affection which doesn't have time for reminiscence.



Thanks Nagual....couldn't agree more. That path with heart finds itself, falls in love with itself again and again and again. It wanders back and forth and like lightening, delivers one to awe faithfully every time.



Senear...LOL...yeah, been in those boots a few times at least...and been on the receiving end as well



"but the eye slowly becomes the same if it does not see itself in the process" Moco



Yes, to be what we see....the energy body is the essence of the interface...and a perennially smiling one at that

[nemo.primeradiant]

"In the course of my life I have often had to eat my words, and I must confess that I have always found it a wholesome diet "

[mocomoracho]

the continuity of discontinuity

[Lex Silentio]

Hey Glance nice gesture...clear intent!
I always thought of you as a very sincere person.
The currency exchange at PP is very high.
After agreements are extracted there is very little left but to remain faithfully where one has been positioned and be insipid!
Sheer panic breaks out at even the slightest deviation or hint of breaking ranks.
Free thinking is only tolerated along a very narrow band of preset conditions.
Participation becomes a daily routine accommodating the position presented by these conditions.
Once full accommodation has been achieved it can be a relief of sorts and a sense of being on the "inside" and being aligned prevails.
But the maintenance of insecurities and the constant display of showing that one is still aligned to satisfy fragile relationships..............
And on and on and on blah blah blah.
At least that is what I was going through. It was not easy to stay present under those conditions.
I found it ironic that it was my encounter with Jagur that brought my own compromise to light that I could reset my perimeter.
After that I just could not be under thumb any more and continue to displace the free form empty spontaneity of being.

Feel free to PM me any time!!!
Sincerely Lex

[Turin Otzaki]

So well said Lex! Exactly my experience too.

[glance left]

Lex, I was laughing in agreement reading your post. Its right on, every word.



I was sitting in silent meditation one day not too long ago and clarity simply dropped a bomb on me literally within the span of a split second...and I recognized without a shadow of a doubt that I could not stay there. A feeling that is aptly delineated in your above post. I tried to go back a couple times, to kind of connect in a peripheral way...sharing about recent discoveries in my personal journey of awareness away from PP and was met with alarming hostility almost immediately from Lujan. He's battoning down the hatches and mortaring the cracks...insulating...which is what he's wanted to do for some time now, I feel. That is a growing feeling (a disturbing one) I've had for the last couple of years. In meditation, I got a clear image of him bricking everyone in around a central bonfire...but that the insulation from the outside world would squelch what the fire needs to breathe. I need to breathe. *inhales* Lots of space for that here, I feel



Would love to PM you, Friend. Talk soon

[Guest]

careful he's going to beat you all up using shadow fist dragon shaman kungfu