12-27-2010, 12:00 AM
Quite possibly the only forum member who has never read CC's work. I am aware of him of course and was pointed in his direction some time ago. To understand why i am staying here i feel i must bore you with my past, or at least the relevent aspects of it and on to the now and future directions. I have been asleep for over 4 years, allowed myself to be surrounded by the most narcissistic, negative disgusting examples of humanity there are.
IT is all my own fault of course, i danced with the devil, and i will again. I have learned the nature of my stalker, and this forum showed me the path. Next of course i have to fight my stalker, and i shall to the death if necessary. I do not fear death, i do not fear life i will do what must be done.
Wthout giving away too much personal information, i have an apalling taste in women. I seem to find the bad ones at every attempt of living a good solid normal life. I have read much of this forum over the last few days, i have a lot to learn, i allready new a lot of it, or could at least relate to it. This forum is not noob friendly and assumes you are familiar with CC's words, the ways of the Nagual and the Toltecs. I know nothing of all this, but i feel a spiritual afinity so you are stuck with me for a bit.
After so many disastrous attempts at forming relationships one must come to the conclusion that the common denominator is me. It was time to stalk the stalker. In the past i have had many exposures to the spirit world. I see the world in many colours, i see spirtis as energy patterns, the paranormal follows me everywhere i go and always has done. A few years ago i found my stalker via a friend who is amedium. She specialised in channelling spirits and entities that are certainly not human in nature. As team we did a lot of cleansing of negative s energies. During this time without realising it was my stalker i was exposed to an entity with many names, but in biblical terms its name was i(a)shtar or the whore of babylon.
I apologise to my readers for using biblical terms, i am unfamiliar with toltec terms, i hope to remedy that, but why am i telling you this? After reading some of these forums i decided to do some stalking of my own. What is it about me that attracts so much negativity like a magnet. Clearly my own shortcomming are a beacon, and i will address them in time, first i wanted to know what this entity wants from me. I have already realised that i need to shed all earthly entraptments around me, i need to go solo or surrround myself with like minded people instead of having to keep my true beliefs to myself. You see whenever i broach a subject involving, sorcery, witchcraft, astral projection, celestial warfare and all matter of an esoteric, paranormal or matters that require thinking outside of the normal, indoctirnated modern societies view, everyone around me just go glass eyed, pretend to listen, and ultimately patronsing. they only care about materialism. So i made the decision, its time to remove myself from my current life, after all it is destructive for everyone including me. No one is happy just collectively trapped.
Once i made this decision i had to examine the links that are tying me here, i examined a piece of jewellery that was presented to me. I severed the links it had to me, and the power it had over me was removed. Next the dreams started again for the first time in years. A female entity that i met previously (Ashtar) said that she will posess every person i come in touch with to keep me to herself. Next was the image of my hands cutting a lizard or croc/gator in half with a large knife or machete, but what was strange and stood out most for me was that the reptile was lying on its side and i was cutting it in half starting from the mouth along the lenght of its body. Following that was the best sleep i have had for a very long time.
So next i feel it has to be me alone and this entity. I may fight it, i may allow it in and love it, i know not yet, i have faced demons before and will do it again. i am not a bad person, and the people i am getting away from are not good people. They are users, negative and selfish. I am grey in alignment, i help people that need and chastise those that deserve it. I defend the weak, i resist the tyrants at all costs.
Everytime i try to stray from the path of spirit, spirit finds a way of forcing me back. I will no longer resist spirit, i shall embrace it. I am here to see if the way of the Nagual way is my way, or merely another sign post along the path of my life. I am clearly here for a reason and will pay attention to the teachings of the toltecs. I promise nothing, i ask for nothing but will welcome all comments including the negative.
I am spud, i have fought wars in the physical, i have fought wars on the astral. I have been to places that defy explanation. I looked into a kind of well, or cylinder, from the outside it looked small. I saw a door on it which i opened. I looked inside and i could see doors beyond counting, i saw. but could not identify energies, entities and men walking throught these doors. I felt they were portal to other dimensions, parralell universes and alternative realities, i felt vertigo, i backed away lacking the courage to enter another door in case i couldnt find my way home. The connection between my soul and my earthbound was very weak there.
I shall continue to stalk this entity that follows me, i shall hunt it but for what purpose? the guides and signs are here i know it. I will stalk, hunt and defeat. I am a warrior and always have been.
IT is all my own fault of course, i danced with the devil, and i will again. I have learned the nature of my stalker, and this forum showed me the path. Next of course i have to fight my stalker, and i shall to the death if necessary. I do not fear death, i do not fear life i will do what must be done.
Wthout giving away too much personal information, i have an apalling taste in women. I seem to find the bad ones at every attempt of living a good solid normal life. I have read much of this forum over the last few days, i have a lot to learn, i allready new a lot of it, or could at least relate to it. This forum is not noob friendly and assumes you are familiar with CC's words, the ways of the Nagual and the Toltecs. I know nothing of all this, but i feel a spiritual afinity so you are stuck with me for a bit.
After so many disastrous attempts at forming relationships one must come to the conclusion that the common denominator is me. It was time to stalk the stalker. In the past i have had many exposures to the spirit world. I see the world in many colours, i see spirtis as energy patterns, the paranormal follows me everywhere i go and always has done. A few years ago i found my stalker via a friend who is amedium. She specialised in channelling spirits and entities that are certainly not human in nature. As team we did a lot of cleansing of negative s energies. During this time without realising it was my stalker i was exposed to an entity with many names, but in biblical terms its name was i(a)shtar or the whore of babylon.
I apologise to my readers for using biblical terms, i am unfamiliar with toltec terms, i hope to remedy that, but why am i telling you this? After reading some of these forums i decided to do some stalking of my own. What is it about me that attracts so much negativity like a magnet. Clearly my own shortcomming are a beacon, and i will address them in time, first i wanted to know what this entity wants from me. I have already realised that i need to shed all earthly entraptments around me, i need to go solo or surrround myself with like minded people instead of having to keep my true beliefs to myself. You see whenever i broach a subject involving, sorcery, witchcraft, astral projection, celestial warfare and all matter of an esoteric, paranormal or matters that require thinking outside of the normal, indoctirnated modern societies view, everyone around me just go glass eyed, pretend to listen, and ultimately patronsing. they only care about materialism. So i made the decision, its time to remove myself from my current life, after all it is destructive for everyone including me. No one is happy just collectively trapped.
Once i made this decision i had to examine the links that are tying me here, i examined a piece of jewellery that was presented to me. I severed the links it had to me, and the power it had over me was removed. Next the dreams started again for the first time in years. A female entity that i met previously (Ashtar) said that she will posess every person i come in touch with to keep me to herself. Next was the image of my hands cutting a lizard or croc/gator in half with a large knife or machete, but what was strange and stood out most for me was that the reptile was lying on its side and i was cutting it in half starting from the mouth along the lenght of its body. Following that was the best sleep i have had for a very long time.
So next i feel it has to be me alone and this entity. I may fight it, i may allow it in and love it, i know not yet, i have faced demons before and will do it again. i am not a bad person, and the people i am getting away from are not good people. They are users, negative and selfish. I am grey in alignment, i help people that need and chastise those that deserve it. I defend the weak, i resist the tyrants at all costs.
Everytime i try to stray from the path of spirit, spirit finds a way of forcing me back. I will no longer resist spirit, i shall embrace it. I am here to see if the way of the Nagual way is my way, or merely another sign post along the path of my life. I am clearly here for a reason and will pay attention to the teachings of the toltecs. I promise nothing, i ask for nothing but will welcome all comments including the negative.
I am spud, i have fought wars in the physical, i have fought wars on the astral. I have been to places that defy explanation. I looked into a kind of well, or cylinder, from the outside it looked small. I saw a door on it which i opened. I looked inside and i could see doors beyond counting, i saw. but could not identify energies, entities and men walking throught these doors. I felt they were portal to other dimensions, parralell universes and alternative realities, i felt vertigo, i backed away lacking the courage to enter another door in case i couldnt find my way home. The connection between my soul and my earthbound was very weak there.
I shall continue to stalk this entity that follows me, i shall hunt it but for what purpose? the guides and signs are here i know it. I will stalk, hunt and defeat. I am a warrior and always have been.