08-03-2017, 12:00 AM
A topic we continually bump heads with 
Instead of telling people, "You're wrong and here's why" if we shift the emphasis ever so lovingly, we can instead validate their concerns instead of making them feel crazy.
For my issues with another member, I'll nickname him Mr. Spicy Pants, I was opposed to his posturing with other members. Mr. Spicy would one-up others and make random statements of "this is power" and "that is power" and that was totally kosher. Yet when Mr. Spicy began telling others "your method is not power" is where my qualms set in. Instead of saying, "No, Pixie! Mr. Spicy isn't saying that!" it's easier to say, "You might be perceiving that, but that's not what I'm seeing communicated."
The difference?
Statements are easier to receive from others when we're reflecting on our own perceptions instead of reflecting on reality-at-large.
A skilled leader will see things from every perspective and validate each one. Why? Because if we don't hold the space for everyone then someone is left out and that's pretty sad if someone can't get groovy with the masses. Seeing every perspective doesn't mean we're taking sides, but to some, it can appear that way. Mediation involves seeing two sides and finding a resolution that each side finds acceptable (that also aligns with the site objective: freedom).
So the next time someone says, "Pixie is being a ****." Even if you don't agree, flip to their perspective and see why they're holding that perspective. There's always some perspective that will make every. single. statement. a truth.
and that is how you validate every member. Questions? Got a scenario you want a response to?
Instead of telling people, "You're wrong and here's why" if we shift the emphasis ever so lovingly, we can instead validate their concerns instead of making them feel crazy.
For my issues with another member, I'll nickname him Mr. Spicy Pants, I was opposed to his posturing with other members. Mr. Spicy would one-up others and make random statements of "this is power" and "that is power" and that was totally kosher. Yet when Mr. Spicy began telling others "your method is not power" is where my qualms set in. Instead of saying, "No, Pixie! Mr. Spicy isn't saying that!" it's easier to say, "You might be perceiving that, but that's not what I'm seeing communicated."
The difference?
Statements are easier to receive from others when we're reflecting on our own perceptions instead of reflecting on reality-at-large.
A skilled leader will see things from every perspective and validate each one. Why? Because if we don't hold the space for everyone then someone is left out and that's pretty sad if someone can't get groovy with the masses. Seeing every perspective doesn't mean we're taking sides, but to some, it can appear that way. Mediation involves seeing two sides and finding a resolution that each side finds acceptable (that also aligns with the site objective: freedom).
So the next time someone says, "Pixie is being a ****." Even if you don't agree, flip to their perspective and see why they're holding that perspective. There's always some perspective that will make every. single. statement. a truth.
and that is how you validate every member. Questions? Got a scenario you want a response to?