Dogs

[Nagual LoneWolf]

Pets. We love our pets. Animals that are domesticated and live with us. I have had a few dogs and to this day the ones who have passed are still strong in my
memories. There was pets that came and went when I was child. I remember their names and briefly their faces. One such dog followed me home from school and
lived with us for awhile then ran away. When I reached my teenage years, I had a german shepherd that died from distemper. When I was in my twenty's I
became a hunter and bought my first hunting dog, a golden retriever I named "Thor". He and I had alot of fun in the fields chasing the wild game. On
my job I was sent to Arizona for 8 months on a special assignment and left Thor in the care of a woman who did not take good care of him. When I returned I
reclaimed him. One day I came home and he had dug holes all over the yard and I had been disappointed with him as a hunter so I found a farmer to take him in.
A few days later Thor ran away and I searched for him for weeks and never found him . I next ended up getting a new hunting dog which was a german wirehair
pointer. I named him "Kane" and he and I had many many days for years hunting quail and fowl. During this time, I adopted a longhair dachshund named
"Loki". These two became my companions for many years. I remember one cold Febuary when I was so sick I couldn't get off the couch with flu. Loki
laid on my stomach as if to watch over me and keep me warm while Kane would lick my hand. I had no one to care for me and was very much alone. Loki late in his
life lost his back legs and after 9 awful days I had him put to sleep. I buried him in the yard my tears heavy and hurt. Kane I took with me to Arizona and
here we lived for a few years till he died from medical problems. I came home and found him with a bloated stomach. He couldn't move. I drove my truck next
to him and lifted him in to his kennel. He wagged his tail thinking he might be going hunting. In my panicked mind I remove the pad from the kennel and put him
in it. To this day I regret that. He was pretty gone by the time I found a vet. My eyes tear as I write this but I need to heal from these bad memories that
cloud the years of companionship my animals had given me. Today I have two girl dog. One is getting older and her time will be coming. I believe I have never
loved a human as I love my dogs. I often dream with Loki still and last night I was visited by Thor. He was running along side me and seemed happy and free.
The few bad things I did to my pets I still regret and I blame it on the pain I hold inside. I will always love them. My dogs. -LW

[docta lee]

Nice Wolf




I enjoyed reading this.




Those dogs and your present dogs love you very much Wolf.

[bluedreamer]

LoneWolf,




Thanks for sharing about your dogs, it reminded me of a dog we had when I was a kid, a border collie named Angel, she was my buddy and early in the morning
I'd get up, make cinnamon toast ,and share it with her; she was a sweet friend but she was naturally energetic and when my dad got drunk she would get on
his nerves and he was mean to her. One day, I thnk it was a Sunday, he was all pissed and loaded my mom, me and my two sisters into our little blue volkswagon
and drove to the country and dumped her, I can still see her running after us, getting further away and the hurt look and confusion on her face and I
couldn't stop it. Years later, about 8 years ago I guess, I was working on making peace with my dad and reconnecting to him. I used to go to his grave at
night and talk to him. One night I was out there talking to him on my knees with my head on the ground, eyes closed and I felt Angel run up to me and I knew
she was okay then and I felt like my dad brough her and was saying sorry. The next dog we had was a Boston Terrior named Mugsy,I remember dad kicking him and
he became a very nervous dog who would sometimes bite. When my mom divorced dad we moved and for some reason, I thnk because he bit, mom gave him to an old
veterenarian who said he was going to keep Mugsy but he ended up selling Mugsy as a stud dog to the sherrif of the small town we were living in. I was friends
with his daughter so I got to see mugsy sometimes and they kept him and the other dogs in a dog pen out back, Mugsy jumped out of that fence which must have
been at least 6 feet so then the guy put boards at the top to stop that. Then Mugsy ended up dying and I don't remember what my friend said it was from but
I always thought it was because that guy fed them slop--gross left overs molding and rotting. I don't know though. It is so sad what people do to dogs and
children and themselves. I've been sitting here crying with the memories of this. There was a real cool sray dog that ran that town, a medium sized black
curly coated, terrior headed free dog who used to come to my house and my friend Kelly's. I can't remember what we called him but some of the other
kids in town who didn't like me didn't like him either and they called him snowball, an insult to his mostly coal black coat I thought. They told me
and kelly about throwing rocks at him when he came by their places. That dog liked to chase cars and ended up getting hit by one. If I remember right, and this
part is a little fuzzy, me and my friends Maria and Kelly took him out to a wooded area to bury him but couldn't dig the hole deep enough so we left him
there and I felt bad about that but it was the place for him, a little wilderness accross the tracks. Hope I remember his name but it eludes me just now. Later
in life, there was a period of time when I couldn't get too close with dogs and I think it was an avoidance thing. My ex had two dogs who were indoor dogs
but when I had kids I told him they had to live outside and he built a dog pen. The poor dogs didn't get enough attention out there and this is something I
don't like that I did to those dogs. I know I acted, on a previous post, like I have never recapitulated, but to clarify, I have done some when something
in my life at the time triggered things from my past. When I have tried to do so formally I usually can't get to the emotions within the memories, plus I
think my fear gets in the way. I did start a list of all the people I have met a couple of nights ago and intend keeping at it this time. Life is too short to
wait for spontaneous recollection and I know all to well how those soul deaths unretrieved can make a heart cold.




Thankyou again Lonewolf.

[bluedreamer]

Whiskers, that's what me and my friends called him, he was the coolest wild family dog in town.

[Nagual LoneWolf]

Hi Bluedreamer thank you for sharing. I feel for that dog left in the country. Dogs are true and we often are not. By remembering and sharing our grief we can
heal.

[Nagual LoneWolf]

Thanks Docta...I was very sad when I wrote that.

[docta lee]

Your welcome Wolf, it's good to cry, music triggers that in me..




You are the NAGUAL and I have the utmost respect for you.

[Nagual LoneWolf]

Life is full of happiness, sadness, pain & joy. Love and hate, spirit and demon. We, humans refect life.

[Guest]