Warriors don't cry...

[serloco]

Bull ****. For a long time I sat in the position of no feelings. No tears could come to my eyes. No pity, no shame, no regret, nothing but what i called impeccible. I couldnt cry for many years. Then one day I asked my ally for help, because i couldnt feel. I usually as in the state of seeing. I drew that position from don Juan. It was good but i missed feelings. I asked my ally to give me feelings again and oh boy oh boy she gave me every feeling. ANd then some new ones i never felt too. I had it make a new feeling for me. Anyways. I learned from my controlled folly how to feel again. How to cry again. I didnt curse my tears though. There was nothing wrong with tears in my opinion. I was sick of being a warrior. I wanted to feel pity, not the helpless kind because that is not me. I wanted to feel compasion that was genuine, real. I wanted to have the release of crying as well. I blessed my tears.. Movies make me cry, love makes me cry, beauty makes me cry. And I love it. It moves me to tears. Indeed you should never curse anything. You should by all means bless your every action. Warriors dont cry? Well this one does. I also learned not to be locked down with don Juans definition of seeing without feelings. I learned to see and let my self feel what is natural for me in that position of awareness. I coupled seeing with feelings and emotions. No need to put my self on the back burner to seeing. Nope. I can do both. Controlled folly lets you shape your own awareness and feelings included. I dont feel things like jealousy and regret, because they have no place for me. Negative feelings I dont experience often. I dont let feelings control me. I control my feelings. I make a good Vulcan. Its not logical to have anger throw me into a fit, but anger can be a tool. It makes you change things, and stand up for what is right. It can make you take out the trash and make changes you need to make.

Yes controlled folly lets you decide how you feel, when you feel, and if you feel.

[transitions4]

music often makes me cry when i see a truth or the relevance in my life, the way i felt when i first heard a certain song, or the way i listnened to a song at a certain point in my life which set a marker so to speak, i can go back there and feel that position again, or i can feel how yes it used to make me cry (or feel really happy) but now i feel like this.. like controlled folly you talked of.

it is one of the reasons that i became a musician cos music touched my life so much just like spirit, and there is no difference to me. my words have power as i intend the feelings and to inspire people.

i did go through for a long time in no feelings, i was still there sort of when i first met you, you showed me how you had been through this and how to set things right.

don juan did say the world is a feeling and i am finding this to be more precise

[Guest]