Lone Wolf

[Nagualwolf]

Our lives are journeys and like all journeys we come to a end. I who always felt the insane touch of power by the hand of the nagual want to thank everyone who
has opened their mind and looked past the ordinary trappings of society. Thank you for sharing with me your minds with their thoughts. Thank you for coming to
a little spot where we can cross our legs and sit by the fire of infinity. Whether in a field of ravens or in a tree house in a majestic forest, we have shared
dreams across the lines of this world. I am grateful and know that often time is a gift and one that should be held close everyday. Walk with power. Hold your
head high. Look past the leaves into the shadows. Feel the wind and embrace it as a warrior. Look up once in awhile. At night when all seems dark...look up!
When the world feels like it will cave your chest..look up! I have walked alone most of my life and by choice for there is no one I know who feels the nagual
like I do. You who come here searching can find your answers. They are in your eyes and in your heart. For we are all sorcerers and warriors. We are all
naguals. We are all that. -Lone Wolf (2008)

[Nagual LoneWolf]

I was cleaning the goat pen the other day. I have a small dwarf goat named Brady. He is pretty cool and I have made a fenced kennel for him to keep him safe
from the coyotes. As I cleaned I found a snake under a wooden wire wheel. It was a non-poisonous snake so I don't mind it hangin round the hood. The goat
didn't seem to mind either. The snake once discovered moved quickly to another spot in the pen under a "igloo" I have in there for the goat.
Suddenly my liondog chased out a rat and it ran pass me towards the snake's location. "Snap" I heard. I looked and saw the rat being pulled
underneath the igloo by the snake. A crunching sound came from underneath.

[Nagual LoneWolf]

Thus back to the story.... I suffered through a depressing period in my life. I was living in a big house with barely any furniture. I was alone except for my
dogs. I remember a very hard period where I was so sick I couldn't barely survive. It was a cold winter. I slept on a couch in the living room because it
was close to bathroom and kitchen. (My bedroom was upstairs) My dog would sleep on my couch with me watching me and was my only comfort. For a week I could
barely move and had no reason to keep living I thought. This was when I lost my human form. A terrible fever came upon me and I shivered through the nights. I
knew that there was no one who would come for me and my dogs needed me for food and water so that I think was why I pulled through it. Out of the fire I was in
a sense reborn with a terrible state of mind. Looking back I was barely human. I friend sent me a book. It was called "The Art of Dreaming" by CC. I
was in shock for I didn't know he had released a new book and I delved deeply back into Nagualism. From that time I came into a new self. Power came back
to me. I was now truly Lone Wolf as you know me now.

[Eilias123]

I am happy to read your tales lonewolf. When i was reading the bit about your final stepfather. I felt a pull on my awareness. I felt as if I had seen a movie
of when you left, Or as if i had seen it with my own eyes. very perplexing. I will read more!

[Nagual LoneWolf]

Pulling awareness. Another way os reaching back for a assemblage point.




The Art of dreaming opened up a new direction in my mind. I erased my personal history and with a clean slate I became aware that I was a warrior still and the
world was waiting for me. In this new world I was to meet a new teacher. One who would put the final touches on Lone Wolf.

[ARNWAY]

The picture of the wolf with your wall paper wolf reminds me of my (dog because he is a dreamer) and has traveled with me with a scout in dreaming and is my
very best friend.

[Mornings Son]

Guess some people here would like to know Lone Wolf story

[Nagual LoneWolf]

A story is a story, once time goes by its only a story.

[Mornings Son]

no matter what LW we love stories, some is believed some is not. The joy of a good story we appreaciate.

[Eilias123]

Nagual LoneWolf wrote:Thus back to the story.... I suffered through a depressing period in my life. I was living in a big house with barely any furniture. I was alone except for my
dogs. I remember a very hard period where I was so sick I couldn't barely survive. It was a cold winter. I slept on a couch in the living room because it
was close to bathroom and kitchen. (My bedroom was upstairs) My dog would sleep on my couch with me watching me and was my only comfort. For a week I could
barely move and had no reason to keep living I thought. This was when I lost my human form. A terrible fever came upon me and I shivered through the nights. I
knew that there was no one who would come for me and my dogs needed me for food and water so that I think was why I pulled through it. Out of the fire I was in
a sense reborn with a terrible state of mind. Looking back I was barely human. I friend sent me a book. It was called "The Art of Dreaming" by CC. I
was in shock for I didn't know he had released a new book and I delved deeply back into Nagualism. From that time I came into a new self. Power came back
to me. I was now truly Lone Wolf as you know me now. I've read about this sorcerers death in castaneda. My one book by Robert Moss also talks about a person having to die a symbolic death and then becomes reborn a Shaman. i wonder if my recent Death dream was predicting this. The messenger was a painter. he ahd paintings of people I knew that have influenced me. He said they had to die become what they are. But these people are still living to this day. The one woman, in the painting was the woman who brought me to my first sweat lodge where I had a vision.

[Nagual LoneWolf]

The death and rebirth was the most important part of my life.  Once I died, I was able to reconnect with the nagual spirit.

It is a changing...a total death of self and then the new birth of spirit. WIth this comes a new awareness and no fear of death or that is at least my perception.

[Nu Lang]

Nagual LoneWolf wrote:May we fear no evil from within or without. No death. No pain unless it is the kind driven by love.I love this.
Well, after reading this entire thread (for the first time)..I feel sad, that sadness that warriors get. Sorry but thats what I feel, sadness and longing. But its good... ...

[Nu Lang]

Nagualwolf wrote:Our lives are journeys and like all journeys we come to a end. I who always felt the insane touch of power by the hand of the nagual want to thank everyone who
has opened their mind and looked past the ordinary trappings of society. Thank you for sharing with me your minds with their thoughts. Thank you for coming to
a little spot where we can cross our legs and sit by the fire of infinity. Whether in a field of ravens or in a tree house in a majestic forest, we have shared
dreams across the lines of this world. I am grateful and know that often time is a gift and one that should be held close everyday. Walk with power. Hold your
head high. Look past the leaves into the shadows. Feel the wind and embrace it as a warrior. Look up once in awhile. At night when all seems dark...look up!
When the world feels like it will cave your chest..look up! I have walked alone most of my life and by choice for there is no one I know who feels the nagual
like I do. You who come here searching can find your answers. They are in your eyes and in your heart. For we are all sorcerers and warriors. We are all
naguals. We are all that. -Lone Wolf (2008)

[Guest]

Nagualwolf wrote:Our lives are journeys and like all journeys we come to a end. I who always felt the insane touch of power by the hand of the nagual want to thank everyone who
has opened their mind and looked past the ordinary trappings of society. Thank you for sharing with me your minds with their thoughts. Thank you for coming to
a little spot where we can cross our legs and sit by the fire of infinity. Whether in a field of ravens or in a tree house in a majestic forest, we have shared
dreams across the lines of this world. I am grateful and know that often time is a gift and one that should be held close everyday. Walk with power. Hold your
head high. Look past the leaves into the shadows. Feel the wind and embrace it as a warrior. Look up once in awhile. At night when all seems dark...look up!
When the world feels like it will cave your chest..look up! I have walked alone most of my life and by choice for there is no one I know who feels the nagual
like I do. You who come here searching can find your answers. They are in your eyes and in your heart. For we are all sorcerers and warriors. We are all
naguals. We are all that. -Lone Wolf (2008)
Beauty-full!

[Nagual LoneWolf]

..I am a warrior. I will not give up. To you out there the end message is well Lone Wolf your getting old. You may even ask why is this written here? Well when I got home, it was dark and I went out to feed my horses. It was late and they were pretty hungry. It was a long way back into the desert from the center of Phoenix Arizona. Soon as I stepped out of my vehicle I heard three hoots from a owl. Owls are rare here. This one sounded very close. I went to my back yard marveling and heard the owl this time very close. Hoot Hoot! Under the stars I couldn't see it but I felt it and it made me smile and I knew in my heart that power was still with me that the owl was welcoming me back to the world of warriors and seers. Life's battles are many, and often we take for granted what we have and what we can lose. I was facing never riding again in the desert with my horses and even having to perhaps find some of them new homes. Many still could happen but if I can get a chance then I'll take it for better to walk with power or lie in bed and wait for death.

[Guest]

Aaah the owl.

[Guest]

Yes the owls are very rare. I only saw an owl once the entire time i lived in Phoenix.

[Nagual LoneWolf]

True. What amazed me was the timing. I haven't heard or seen the owl since. These days I'm healing well, getting stronger everyday. A friend of mine, 24 year old body builder has the same ailment as me from lifting heavy weights. Guess I better lighten my loads as well. Good to see you back Datura!

[Guest]

Nagual LoneWolf wrote:True. What amazed me was the timing. I haven't heard or seen the owl since. These days I'm healing well, getting stronger everyday. A friend of mine, 24 year old body builder has the same ailment as me from lifting heavy weights. Guess I better lighten my loads as well. Good to see you back Datura!Owls are very magical creatures. 
Yes, Wolf, lighten your loads -- be careful.

[Nagual LoneWolf]

Back to my story: It was back in the early 1990's. I had burned from within and lost my human form. From the ashes came Lone Wolf, who I am to this day. I erased all personal history. I became a new being. I could read people's thoughts, I could see what they were blind to. I felt like all around me people were lost and seemed to be barely living. I couldn't talk to no one for they could barely see me and little along understand me. It was like being in a dream full time where everyone in the world were made up, puppets, lifeless, their eyes down, nothing in them ( still is like that to a degree to this day for me).I knew I could run circles around them, I could do anything and no one could even be aware of what I was doing. Women sought me out though, they somehow sensed I was different. I had many women in this time period for they would beg me to take them. This new wolf occasionally partaked (still had fire) but it wasn't my agenda. Too easy( being a nagua)l to seduce women with a touch of the hand. I was soon contacted by my teacher. I asked my teacher what was her name and she told me "Valencia." Valencia came to me in dreaming often. She was drawn to me after I had burned and then after reading the Art Of Dreaming, my awareness in dreaming had become full blown back then. Valencia looked like a mexican woman, she had long black hair, brown smooth skin, her eyes were crazy and I avoided them at all costs for they were blazing in dreaming, like lightning. Valencia showed me how to control my power, she laughed at my sexual side and even had weird sex with me that would often tumble me into other worlds. She showed me ways to control humans through voice and breath. I learned much from her in those years when Castaneda was still on this Earth. At her urging, I moved back to Arizona and worked for a communication company in the Phoenix area. It was hard coming down to the desert. Everything was so different. The people I didn't like, so many from the midwest. The people here also were very untrustworthy. A city full of predators and prey. I eventually moved to the outskirts and finally into the eastern mountains of this area. Here I found power was all around me. I began to hike in the mountains and the deserts. I loved to stand in the middle of the dustdevils, they were always attracted to me. The day came when Castaneda left. Valencia was upset and came to me. She reveal who she really was and told me she was the Tenant. I learned then that through my previous correspondence and dreaming with Carlos, I had formed a link to her. When I lost my human form, she found me in dreaming. I knew I stood out for I was no longer human even though I was alive in a human body. I learned to create the human dialogue. I learned to keep my mouth shut so that the humans would realize I was different. One still has to eat and live for power is great but it doesn't cook.

[Guest]

"Out of the fire I was in a sense reborn with a terrible state of mind. Looking back I was barely human."



Wolf..why do you say "terrible state of mind"? What made it terrible?

[BarefootInTheSand]

I can see why Wolf characterizes it as a horrible state of mind, all around Wolf is seeing suffering, fake lives believed to be real, and a seeming inability of people to get beyond the illusion...sort of like Dante's seven layers of hell. 
It is also easy to see that from this state of mind is where people who want to fix the world are coming from and why they consider themselves to be more evolved than the people they are trying to fix. 
However, there are expanses beyond this one so there is still something to strive for.

[Nagual LoneWolf]

Just a note: This thread is not actually for others to post in and it is a recounting of my past experiences. If you wish to comment make a new post with your questions. Any and all posts in this thread that are not made by me shall be removed, please do not take it personal.-Lone Wolf.

[Nagual LoneWolf]

My double really came into its own once I lost my human form. I remember the feeling and recounted it in this thread as " a terrible state of mind." This translates that once the human lost his form he was able to see the bare being inside he had become, like raw power. This raw power was the type that could lash out and affect anything. The state of mind was knowing what your double was becoming now, it and you had no walls between. It was not like a glowing light filled with love, it was just power and I had to contain it or it would overwhelm me. I can see how when a sorcerer reached this crossroads he/she could become a powerful black sorcerer or stay a warrior seeking freedom which I did. Power in this form could easily corrupt those who would use it to control and hurt others. Thats is why it is so important to prepare one's self for it and be ready when it hits for there's no feeling like it I ever encountered. The warrior's path of having no self-importance is angled for when such a transformation takes place and the warrior doesn't turn into something dark as many do.

[Nagual LoneWolf]

Last night, I intended to go to the Ancient Church in Santa Fe and look for the Tenant. I awoke early in the early morning and remembered to make the intent and went into lucid dreaming. I was in the church. A woman with long dark hair was seated at the Tenant's right side and I sat across from her where she was seated in the front row of the church. The area was lighted by candles. The Tenant was a tall skinny Mexican woman, her hair was black streaked with gray. She wore a grey gown that was short sleeved. Her arms were long and she had big hands with long fingers and nails. She looked older than my encounters with her as Valencia twenty years ago. I called her "Valencia" and she looked at me and smiled. The Tenant told us a story and it went like this:



After Don Juan left and Carlos passed, the lineage had stopped. For many years, the Tenant searched for a nagual in Mexico and New Mexico. She became ill and knew she was going to die. She came up with a plan and enlisted two sorcerers to assist her where she was living in Santa Fe, New Mexico. A grave was prepared, it was deep and layered with sand and silk blankets. Her body was laid in it as she began to die. The sorcerers covered her with round crystals that glowed in the candle light. A newborn baby girl wrapped in a red indian blanket was laid on top of the crystal grave by the sorcerers and they left. The next morning when the sorcerers returned to the grave the red blanket laid on top of the bed but the baby was gone. The Tenant told us she had been saved by that baby girl. The Tenant looked at me and told me she had shifted using the crystals. As she told the story I watched it unfold as a vision. I watched the men place her in the grave and cover her gently with the stones. I watched the baby being placed on top of the grave. The Tenant caught my attention by placing her hand on my knee. I looked up and she smiled and I awoke.