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Is there anybody out there who really loves me?
#1
Just received from cleargreen


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"In the beginning we are born complete, with our energy body, or dreaming body, our twin made out of sheer energy," Carlos
Castaneda said to a gathering of students. "We are love, simple and pure, a piece of infinity."


He went on to say that in the process of socialization, we start to put our attention on the stimuli of the external world, and we begin to forget our
origin and drift away from the energy body; we learn to adopt a syntax of solidity and separation: "cat," "tree," "chair,"
"my chair," "your chair."


"And yet there's a yearning, the feeling that something's missing," Carol Tiggs said. "And so begins our journey of return to union,
to wholeness, to our origin. And at first, we attempt to find that completeness outside ourselves. For example, we look for another person to complete
us."


Carlos Castaneda said that an ultimate example of this was a friend of his who made a habit, every morning, while his adoring wife was in the next room, of
throwing open the balcony doors of his Italian villa and bellowing to the rooftops: "Is there anybody out there who really loves me?"


Turning to a young student, he said, "I bet you're secretly asking that question, aren't you?"


"Yes," she admitted. "But I don't have someone adoring me, like your friend did. I adore others but they don't seem to adore me
back."


"Hmmmm," Carlos Castaneda replied, touching his fingertips together, "Well, there IS somebody out there who really loves you!" he
said.


The student's eyes brightened. She wondered who he meant. A partner? Who was that person? How could she find them? And how did he know about them?


"You know who it is?" he continued. "It's YOU! Your energy body, your dreaming body. It's YOU, only more aware,
your dreamboat, your ticket to the universe!"


The student laughed.


"So, the question is," he continued, "Why is your energy body OUT THERE? Why are you chasing it away? Hmmmm?"


"I'm chasing it away?"


"Yes! Really, you are moving away from it. In fact, all of you are doing that," he said, turning to the others in the room.


"Me, moving away from my energy body?" a young man interjected. "How am I doing that?


By telling yourself the story that you are separate, that you are incomplete--not good enough, the worst, OR too good, superior, the best," Carlos
Castaneda continued. "By spending hours on your self-presentation, or showing how much you work, or pursuing whatever you define as power, so others will
love or admire you."


The young man looked pensive.


"We can move toward the energy body by opening a space for it," Carol Tiggs said. "Its home-base is HERE, the heart," she said, pointing
to her chest, "and HERE, our center of balance," she said, indicating the area below the navel. "These areas are like blossoming flowers. Open
the energy and awareness of these two seats, and the universe opens."


"To do this," Carlos Castaneda added, "it is very beneficial to review or recapitulate our habits of expecting someone else to love and
acknowledge us, to take care of us, and how we get upset or disappointed if we think they don't-or how we want more if we think they do."


"As we review those habits with our breath, with our whole being, we invite the incredible memory and unfailing affection of the energy body
to our life experiences. We awaken our total being, to find our integrity, our completeness. Rather than searching to be loved, we can be
love.


* * *


The seed for this workshop was planted in Los Angeles in late Summer last year, and blooms in Autumn in Amsterdam this year, this time in a format
specifically geared for both newcomers and seasoned practitioners of Tensegrity.


In this workshop, we will practice magical passes and some specific review exercises to help us to gently become more aware of, and to further liberate
ourselves from our expectations about love, so we can let the loving BEING inside of us unfold.


In addition, follow-up instruction will be given for you and your witness to take home and practice over the three weeks following the workshop, as a means
to help everyone to integrate new habits of completeness in our daily lives.


Note to first-time participants: This workshop also serves as a preparation for and fulfills the requirement for the Stalking the Human Form II
workshop which will take place in Amsterdam in Spring of next year. (2009)




Schedule:


Saturday, October 18, 2008

11:00 am to 1:00 pm Workshop


2:30 pm to 5:30 pm Workshop


7:30 pm to 10:00 pm Workshop


Sunday, October 19, 2008

9:30 am to 12 pm Workshop


2:00 pm to 4:00 pm Workshop


4:30 to 5:30 pm Questions and Answers
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#2
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#3
Part 1


This is my goal before I am dead as a box of hair- to make the love to the world as a complete being. In the early 70's when Castaneda was writing his
books, practically everyone was having sex orgies and shrooming in excess on weekends.




How could two-half asses make one complete **** was a question I would quietly answer to myself.






One of my favorite teachings of Don Juan in Tales of Power----The Wings of Perception chapter.




"The giant girl sat next to me and made the floor squeak. I was
touching her enormous knee. She smelled like candy or strawberries. She talked to me and I understood everything she said; pointing to the structure, she told
me that I was going live there.


......The giant girl made me slide on my back into the structure. The
roof was black and flat and was covered with symetric holes that let the yellowish glare of the sky show through, creating the most intricate patterns.
I was truly awed with the utter simplicity and beauty that had been
achieved by those dots of yellow sky showing through those precise holes in the roof, and the patterns of shadows that they created on that magnificent and
intricate floor. The structure was square,and outside of its poignant beauty it was incomphensible to me.


My state of exultation was so intense at that moment that I wanted to weep, or stay there forever. But some force, or tension, or something undefinable began
to pull me. Suddenly I found myself out of the structure, still lying
on my back. The giant girl was there, but there was another being
with her, a woman so big that she reached to the sky and eclipsed the sun. Compared to her the giant girl was just a little girl. The big woman was angry; she grabbed the structure by one of its colums, lifted it up, turned
it upside down, and set it on the floor. It was a chair!


That realization was like a catalyst ; it triggered some overwhelming perceptions. I went through a series of images that were disconnected but could be made to stand as a sequence. In successive flashes I saw or realized that the magnificent and
incomphrehensible floor was a straw mat; the yellow sky was the stucco ceiling of a room; the sun was a light bulb; the structure that had evoked such rapture
turned upside down to play house.
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#4
Oh I forgot to immit I love my energy body if only I could find out where it went.
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#5
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