The Woes of Communication

[Pixie Dust]

I recently took a class on communication, for free, from my local community center (quality level is questionable).  Lots of neat information, but to skip to the funny bits:

Everyone is different and has a different basis for communication based on personal life experiences.  Generational gaps can limit information (grandpa communicates differently than the grandkids).  Education level can cause differences, differences in income backgrounds and regions can each play a factor in communication.  There are so many ways to miscommunicate it should just be an expected occurrence.

For me, if we're talking about ideas (if I perceive the tone of writing as academic) then I respond similarly.  I often overestimate the emotional and intellectual qualities of everyone because I have high expectations.  Some have wished I had lower expectations lol but I expect everyone I meet to be amazing.  Why not have those expectations?  I've been told I'm too serious, too intellectual, the way I string together my thoughts and sentences can be insulting to some.  Yeah, I get that.  I can flip to other perspectives and see how the way I express myself can be intimidating.  That's not what I intend.  I intend to communicate to the best of my ability; in an effort to be an effective communicator.  I'm continually tweaking that process and I appreciate when people tell me how I misunderstood them.  

To be an effective communicator we have to know the person we're communicating with.  That degree of understanding will vary and it can take years of dedicated friendship and interaction to truly learn the ins and outs of another person.  Communication is a minefield.  You not only have to understand your own thoughts in order to articulate ideas to oneself, but you have to translate inner articulation into an outer articulation based on the awareness of the person you're communicating with.  It's a lot of adaptation.  

Dreaming (telepathy) is much simpler.  Sharing awareness (telepathy) is a simpler process than verbal communication (talking or typing) because there are no issues with an inner and outer translation component.   If humanity could just skip the talk and shift to telepathic means of communication that would be grand.

xD like I said: high expectations.

Side-note: if you ever get the chance to travel to a foreign country or enroll in a foreign language class, do it.  Immersing oneself in a foreign environment where words are nearly eliminated allows a different form of communication to take place.  Facial expressions and other non-verbal means of communication teach the mind how to use alternative methods.  You learn to intuit behavior and emotions.  It's quite fascinating to experience.  Also, those who speak multiple languages tend to be more open-minded.  This is due to their ability to transcend culture, as each language has its own cultural basis and communication style.  A greater number of languages known = greater cultural knowledge = greater number of potential APs = eventually learning how to use no-language (telepathy).

[serloco]

Very cool to meet another who values the process of communication. It is the central point, or foundation, of all relationships. Strong communication skills builds a strong relationship.

I spent many years in a telepathic environment. I learned quickly to not only be a projector of my thoughts and awareness but learned to live in a world of pure awareness (seers). The people in my world listen to me, internally, and so I often communicate to them with my mind and observe their body language. That was one of the ways i learned to project to others is to pracitce and then observe their body language and facial expressions. Soon thereafter i learned to actually see their attention, and could see myself within it. Quite amazing it was. 

Even more amazing was to learn to see other's thoughts and ideas, and not to mention their intents. I learned to see thoughts and intent in my attention but not only that but i learned to visually see thoughts and internal words. THAT was so cool and something i want to further master. 

We never stop learning do we?

[serloco]

Pixie Dust wrote:
What a mess.  Should've left it in.

So tell me, what am I thinking?

[Julio Juliopolis]

Words are the descriptions of thoughts. Breaks them down into little pieces we can understand. A good psychic can even get our thought before we've even put it into words for ourselves. But this doesn't render words useless. They are still helpful for examining and guiding our thoughts. The more precise we are with our words the more precise our thinking, and seemingly the less error prone.

[serloco]

Yes Jules, I agree. It is wise to bless the use of words. To speak of power brings power. 

It is also possible for a psychic to not only hear your words,, as ideas, before you speak, but to implant thoughts and ideas, and then have you speak them!

[Julio Juliopolis]

So that's why sometimes I have bad ideas! Now I just need to figure out which psychic is responsible. Hmmm...

[serloco]

lol

[watergaze]

communicating is a dance... and if one does not enjoy it then it is tragic :S.
I agree that it is tricky and also that it might seem a miracle we even get anywhere heh. But, just a thought, maybe sometimes it really is like a dance and the aim of it is not to get anywhere specific in terms of a destination but experience quite a few other things that are amazing as well .

We, here communicating online, have another potential hurdle in the fact that we dont see each other's moods and states and such all too well. Like I talk differently to the same people about the same subjects depending on their state (or I might decide not to breach a certain subject depending on their state). Here we have little control over what input we give to a person in a certain state/mood. We give output and the way it is input is not part of our control. Irl it is already tricky enough .
One can say the most insightful thing but when the poor (erm lets use me as an example) watergaze's brain is boiling right now then the message might get lost in the translation/brain vapor.  heh. (But the good thing is that in a discussion forum the post can be reread in a different mood/setting). In a natural real life interaction setting, one would look at the state of the person and then adjust one's talk and subject matter as well as mood and tone to it. One would gauge the level of engagement and depth of topic based on the unfolding interaction. 
this is why I prefer chat to discussion forums in general .

What you call high expectations seems to me to be somewhat limiting the interaction. You have a preconception about what would give quality. instead of allowing quality to come of its own creative process you set the criteria for its birth. You may limit yourself out of a great talk. But then I am sure you also gain some with that setting, so maybe it equals out . After all, you must have this setting for a reason . 

Pixie, if you are too serious I'm a cucumber hahaha

I went through this foreign country ordeal quite a few times... and yes one notices that there is more to communicating than words. Still, for complex ideas one does usually need words. And communication is limited when people do not understand each other. In other ways, though, something can open up that we rarely make use of when we do understand each other's words/language. It is a kind of human perceptor sensor and a common sense sensor too. I was amazed how I could intuit what people were saying to me in many situations. But say when they were talking about how to fill out tax forms and whatever documents and this and that system of xyz of the state... then it is quite a different experience , rather an acoustic one haha .

Also, I decided in the past based on quite a few experiences that being too intuitive is not that nice for the intuitor. Sadly, that was quite a tragic conclusion since I then tuned down my intuition a notch by choice. It is just easier for the person to say what they want me to know than to know things they do not even want me to know and then act on them (I am a very honest and open, sincere, authentic whatever person so it did not occur to me to go against some things that were good for the person just because they didnt officially share or say something plus then who is supposed to remember that anyway). It can become awkward fast .
I found it useless to have info I cannot act upon and put into reality. I find it better not to know things I am not supposed to know . 

But then, some decade later, I'm thinking I can do it now . But it's a slow process getting that back.

[Pixie Dust]

Serloco, yeah, I imagine being able to see the thoughts of another to be quite an experience xP the way you phrase that concept makes it sound all magical when it's quite scientific too.  You know, when it comes to language receptive language is always the first to form and then expressive language develops.  We always know more (receptive to more) than we're able to express.  I imagine the next step to receptive telepathy that you mentioned, is to figure out how to be more expressive.  Lol and what you were thinking was that you probably opened the washing machine prematurely. . . best to let things finish inside the machine instead of interrupting the process.  xP  

JJ, words are useful in that they are the bridge between human consciousness and collective consciousness.  Words facilitate feedback--and as telepathy is developed feedback is necessary.  It's one reason why we share our dreams with others.... to gain feedback to tweak the telepathic process.  Words are necessary when developing telepathy.  

Watergaze, lol yeah sometimes there is no point...just a dance between minds for the sake of an experience.  A hope of tripping over an epiphany.  What you mention about communication styles of online vs in-person are understandable.  Everyone prefers one over another--and makes use of anything reasonable lol.  For the most part, I like forums because I don't have to wait for a response that I do in live-chats.  For me, it's more efficient and effective to use forums than chat as there's no waiting and I can move as fast as my own intellect processes ideas.  This is important for me because it doesn't take a long time to formulate responses.  Some might say I might have more quality responses if I took more time to formulate responses but that's not true.  My quality level is pretty consistent regardless of timeliness.  Any quality post I make takes the same degree of consideration as my ridiculous posts.  Sometimes my ridiculous postings take MORE time than my better posts.  Hell, and it's when I'm pissed when I'm most efficient lol.  I text and type so much faster and with such a greater degree of clarity that I've considered ONLY communicating when I'm pissed.  xD  There are benefits to each style of communication  Context plays a big part.

My high standards are a complicated thing.  I don't limit myself to the style of communication--I can manage with a wide range of style.  What is limiting is my demand for people to have or develop a fortified sense of integrity.  Now integrity can mean different things to different people.  How that's expressed can also muddy up the interpretation.  All I mean is I want to see that people have met their I AM (or gaining progress in making that introduction) and that sort of measurement can be witnessed by their interactions and development of adaptation to change.  That's a tall order to ask of others, I'm aware.  Though, I don't want to be around people who aren't fluid because the transitions are very bumpy and awkward and that generally provokes tension in me if I'm around it long enough.  That's also a sensitivity of mine--being around rigid people because I eventually begin to feel it.  Do I avoid rigid people?  No.  Do I limit my time around them?  Yes.  Am I rigid?  In select ways.  I think rigid thinking is due to self-preservation.  An attempt to limit the degree of dissonance we allow ourselves to experience.  So long as we're gently coaxing ourselves into a less degree of rigidity then we're doing ourselves a service by addressing our limitations.  

You've told me I'm too serious (over-complicate things) before; are you saying you're a cucumber?  Cucumbers are mostly water so I see the relevance, but I don't think that's what you meant.

Words are necessary for this age of humanity.  Words bridge individual consciousness and allow interaction.  Words are limiting as there are some emotions that cannot be put into words, but can be shared non-verbally (like sipping coffee with someone adored, words can't fully encompass that emotion or feeling of completeness).  When someone says "I love you" that can have many different variations of intent behind it.  Words are a generalization of intent and it's more precise to use telepathy rather than words.  It's like reading between the lines.  There are no words between the lines, but there is an energetic undercurrent there to be perceived.  Though it is very subtle.

I'm sure it seems easy to ask for clear communication, but sometimes it's not as easy as you think.  Common sense is not so common  Everyone has a different background and so for me, someone who has worked in law enforcement, I'm highly attuned to behavior that needs to be addressed prior to it becoming an issue.  I see posturing and threatening behavior in group settings long before anyone throws a punch.  I've seen patterns of violence that make me highly sensitive to these types of situations.  Hence, when I say something needs to be addressed it is based on my knowledge and experience.  There's a reason behind it and that's generally to de-escalate a potential situation.  Now, I may not fully communicate my rational because to me it all has clarity and I wonder how another can't see it with such clarity.  That's one example of why communication may be clouded.

For someone who is entirely nonviolent, they would not see what I see.  This is a difference of perception.  For someone from a tolerant and human-conscious country, raised by an intelligent non-violent family, surrounded by people who are educated and nonviolent, that type of individual wouldn't notice scenarios escalating toward violent behavior because they lack enough exposure to identify certain APs.  

Someone who has grown up in "the hood" will have developed a sensitivity for being scammed.  Someone who has grown up religious will have developed a sensitivity for the abstract and faith.  Someone who has suffered parental abuse (violence) will have developed a sensitivity for anger.  People who have taken on the AP of these individuals can also acquire a sensitivity for these things as well.  The greater number of APs we can take on, the greater our sensitivity overall.  When we tell someone to "open their eyes" we're asking them to see things from a different perspective.  Not to accept the perspective, but to understand the perspective.  Hence, things are not common sense because people haven't learned a particular AP in those situations.  

So when you ask why can't people just ask for what they want.... the explanation is really more along the lines of why haven't you held their AP?  If communication is inefficient it's an issue between all parties, not one party.  Sometimes we just can't see another AP and asking others to be better is silly.  The issue isn't with others, it's with the self.  Instead of saying things are easier if people tell me what they want, it's actually easier if I would expand my perception (it's easier to go to people than it is to expect them to come to us).

[serloco]

So I guess that means i dont have sexual issues then.

[Pixie Dust]

Sex is only an issue if you think it's an issue lol.  Or if law enforcement deems it an issue lol. 
 Actually, things are only an issue when they cause dysfunction so if cutting up people and impersonating Hannibal Lector is your jam and that's what makes you happy.... there's no issue.  Until someone notices and THEY have an issue--then suddenly you might also have an issue.  

It's kinda lame that we only seem to experience an "issue" when others or the self disagrees.

[serloco]

Please don't eat me... 

I'll be reaaaallly good. I promise.

[Julio Juliopolis]

watergaze wrote:
communicating is a dance... 
 Hi frog! Have I been octopi-ing your thoughts?.
**Groan** 
 Hey, I like Octopus puns, and I make no bones about it!
**Snarl** 
 Well if you were an octopus I know exactly what it would take to make you laugh!
What? 
 Ten Tickles!
**You keep that up and the next sandwich I eat is gonna be a peanut butter and jellyfish!** 
 Ok I'll stop. I know of your tendency to eat whatever bugs you.
I'm serious. 
 You can't take me, I'm too well-armed!
I'm gonna make you croak! 

Sometimes the dance goes awry.

[Xlyer]

Im not a very pun(n)y guy.
Thats a lie.
Im terrible at jokes and tiny.
Is self depreciating humor still in?

On topic part: words are hard sometimes, but only if you dont put the effort in.
Pot calling the kettle black. ie me.
"Hey, where are you going with my pots?!".

[serloco]

[Guest]

[Guest]

[Guest]