Death of a grand illusion

[Julio Juliopolis]

I am not the child you wanted,I do not happily go to school each day,I don't know why I'm supposed to say please and thank you,My clothes get dirty, I'll be late for supper,Saying goodbye and hugging all my relatives after a visit is unimportant to me,I do not save up a months worth of excitement to release all at once when opening presents on Christmas just to help you maintain your illusion of how much fun you had on Christmas mornings when you were young,I even peeked in your closet every year to see what presents i would get in advance,I am willful and unrepetent,I've lied to you, I've broken your rules quite callously,I've said many horrible things about you, I do not bite my tongue so you won't be offended,I am not reverent in church and find it stupid and boring,I didn't always mean it when I said "I love you", but I usually didIf you hadn't forced me to say it when I felt otherwise, I'd never have lied to you about that,But don't expect me to love you all the time, I'm not capable of that, I constantly change,In all of these and many other things too numerous to list,I am not the child you wanted,Nor am I the friend that was wanted,Nor the employee, nor have I the opinions you want me too,Nor am I the lover, the brother, the uncle, the teacher, the student, etc. that you wanted me to be,If I have seemed otherwise it is only because I have been pretending,Sorry if this disappoints you, but it wasn't my intent to deceive,In truth I was so devious I fooled myself,Try not to become even more offended as I stop pretending,I must, as it's the only way I'll ever be able to meaningfully say,
I AM

[Julio Juliopolis]

I AM that I AM,So that I may express my vibe,And if we should interact you might find me pleasing,Or you might find me intolerable,Over time, I suspect it will be some of both,
If I step on your toes it is only because I am dancing with you,Would you rather we never danced because I was too afraid to hurt you?Those who've brought me the most pain have also brought the most pleasure,Is this true for you as well?I've heard that women only date jerks, perhaps this is why.
Not that I would seek to bring you pain,We each have our own preferences and mine is to bring you joy and orgasms,But if you insist on a fight to the death,Then I will happily engage you, and when I win I will rip out your heart and do a victory dance on your corpse,Or if you should win, promise you'll do the same to mine,So that I can enjoy it vicariously,And if you look down you might even see me smiling at you.

[Julio Juliopolis]

Ohhhhhh Flyyyy-er!Don't be scared, I'm only going to kill you,But first I'll play a song for you, because that's the nice guy that I AM,It's dedicated to you.

And now all my little Nagualamaniacs can cheer wildly as I crush you with my bare hands, just like we did when mighty Megatron crushed villianous Prime with his bare hands long ago!

[bit shiny]

great

now withstanding outside the illusion ready ?

for you a po-EM

where psychologist shaman and band of wolf fail

where deaf ears fall silently to their own sound

where the hills roll but the slides stay the same

beneath the sky you call home

straight up !

you have been heard beneath your sky

and yet you were not the sky !

nor earth !

both of these and more

do not fear one

do not fear the other

curtail self hate for casting out one turn on another

as you are caste out

dream

for your sky you find so real is contested !

upon the scales weigh up

the weight of the footsteps not of yours alone

for their weight of the ancestors merge riding with you

ride on your sky

know they ride upon you oh brittle eyes

oh brittle mind

trust you must have or it have you !

[Billy]

Shove it up your arrogant assholes you fucking narcisistic pricks.

muhahaha\
DEATH OF YOUR GRAND ILLUSIONS


jk/smile

[Billy]

REALLY, may I slap your faces too?   (lol)

[Billy]

I would be remiss not to say this:   I like the regulars who post here--A LOT!     (sincerely)
(excepting Sack a "SEE"- I don't even go near demogogue ****> yuk, oooh, spit-spit)

[bit shiny]

give you what is already yours

blind in one eye and the other

truth is a key

would lips curl then some more ?

if i speak to you of a spit in the ocean

lets speak the ocean together now

i'm ready for dreaming it come now

we've waited and spoken long enough

[Billy]

bit shiny wrote:give you what is already yours

blind in one eye and the other

truth is a key
would lips curl then some more ?

if i speak to you of a spit in the ocean

lets speak the ocean together now

i'm ready for dreaming it come now

we've waited and spoken long enough
 my lips would curl some more

I resent that I exist

ocean with spit is what ?

why speak of it ?

you cannot find me there

I do not allow that

the void is for my blind eyes only

[Billy]

No vitriol bit shiny, but your ocean of truth would not drown a newborn baby laying face down in it.

[Billy]

i'm challenging you in any syntax, any paradigm so long as you speak english (wink)

[Billy]

Julio, I hate dancing, but sure do like joy.  I need to state for the record here I am being lighthearted (for now/lol).  Death of a grand illusion--this is a topic I like--let it rip.  I do not comply with ideas of oughtness either Julio--and I mean right to the core of perceiving.

[bit shiny]

your right don't look at the words

forget them now

they are stern but not mean

whats important now is whats inside

its now out side

both sides

[Billy]

SO .   PLAY......  ...

[bit shiny]

never play

take care now

your responsibility is enormous

[Billy]

If you have time go to chat.

[Billy]

Feeding ego to cut the legs out?  I like BIG ego--I like the BIG awareness around it more.

[Julio Juliopolis]

bit shiny, thanks for the poEM. I shall combine my strength with that of my ancestors and see how far we can go together!
billy, you say you hate dancing? What a tyrant you are! Why make this rule for yourself? Without it, tommorow you may have been inspired to dance and have the time of your life doing so! But you've already decided that you'll hate dancing tommorow instead? Who is it that you are so afraid will judge your dancing so harshly? Whose purpose does this rule serve and why are they so important they are worth sacrificing the life that is your birthright for?
That isn't all. You say you want to PLAY but you only give yourself permission to play. You see us here and your mind has told you that we are being outlandish. So you think that's the rule of the game and jump in and act according to the rule; in a way your mind says is outlandish. But you also know it's against the rules of society to behave as such, and so you add "jk" to make sure you aren't breaking that one, still not fully sure of the rules of this game you've joined in. Since you seem to be looking for rules I'll give you a good one. PLAY doesn't come from the mind but from the heart. The mind has it's uses, but when it's time to act turn the fucker off and act and don't apologise for it. Let your heart decide what you want to play and how. No one ever made a shot in basketball while calculating the physics of it, no one ever had great sex while worrying over their performance, and no one ever even won a game of chess with a dazzling display of strategy as a result of thinking, (see footnote). When your heart tells you to play do so, and do it how it tells you. If you don't want to join in my game at that time, that's fine. If you do, maybe I'll play ack and maybe I won't. However we do it, it'll be fine. I do hope one day to see you've made such a habit of this that you start dancing simply because your heart tells you to, completely forgetting you ever had a rule that said you hate it.
Footnote - The thinking came after their awareness had already found the answer and was merely a double-check on it.

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