12-02-2010, 12:00 AM
I just wrote this in my blog today, and pasted it over here. I was going to post about it here separately, but there would be too much repetition.
Experienced an extraordinary example of some extremely bold and highly
effective 'stalking' last night on forum chat, it was pure skill in
action I rarely witness and utterly completely fascinating to witness.
Every move she made was, I have to use the word impeccable, hitting the
ball on the 'sweet spot' of the racket with each word.
Its so difficult to talk about here and and perhaps its not even right
to...these are sacred personal processes, but I'm going to anyway
without mentioning names, as it is a significant past of my experience
right now. It brought home that we are not who we think we are, we are
far stronger and more mysterious than we realise. She went straight past
outer personality and addressed who the guy really is at his core. He
was more than taken aback that somebody addressed him in his full
authentic core being.....especially as he was very very busy belittling
himself and not being authentic. Then he was caught in the headlights.
It was a lesson for me in how to position myself inside when approached
by the belief system of another, especially when its one that wants to
pull you into joining a 'game' based around the self weakening belief
structure they hold. The guy on the forum came in with a strong 'poor
me' complex. I do recognise it when people do that, and I usually
respond with empathy and try and counteract it by reminding them that
they are stronger than they think in some way.
She
however, just called it and said a big NO to it, and forcefully too. I
started thinking 'awwww poor guy' which is me just joining in with his
'game' of poor me. But I said nothing and watched. She on the the other
hand refused to see him as anything less than a strong sovereign spirit,
even though he was expressing his weakness. As soon as she did that,
and in such a clear clean way too, he turned very gamey, and then tried
all sorts of squirming maneuvers .....he tried 'funny' and then tried
'clever' in desperation, anything but sit in the truth of himself that
he had just been reminded of. It was truly a revelation.
I
thought of my fiery, indignant response to SGs email of honest
revelation, where he shared the truth of his unfulfilling life and
unhappy relationship. It surprised me a little at the time that I should
respond with forcefulness to a man having the courage to open up his
secret inner pain to me. I felt the rightness of it in my heart though, I
knew without a shadow of doubt that the strength in me was addressing
the strength in him in that response.
I was responding to the self weakening SG had been engaging, and
refusing to see him as weak. So what DO you say to a strong spirit who
is engaging almost suicidal weakness? Well I say, 'What the *** are you
doing that for, you know better' And Id want the same treatment myself.
What I saw 20 years ago was pure strength, a force to be reckoned with.
And its what I see now too, whatever the process he is playing out down
there, it doesn't change what I see.
That
is a much more useful than, ' awww there there' sympathy ****. It all
went downhill between us after that. At one point just after his email, I
said, 'Dude, you need to get out' and he said 'I know'. That was the
truth. Then his fear stepped back in, and he listened to its advice, and
others around him voiced his fears too strengthening themfurther. Truth
was bargained with. He then started to defend the life he has created.
That put me on a different team from him right there, and concordance
faltered. I am of course on a different team from his fears. So
communication was no longer spirit to spirit, truth to truth. We tried
'my compromised truth to your compromised truth' after that. Felt like a
bowl of sick. I so didnt want to lose him, I was willing to try that
for a while. (Note the illustration of the danger of attachment in
action.)
People make their choices, and they do what they do. Life goes on....or
it doesn't. It doesn't really matter. Death is stalking every one of us
every second of every day whatever we choose. As Juan Matus said "We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same."
I would like to thank that skilled stalker. Today I feel renewed energy and a greater clarity about what it means to stay on my rock and not be pulled into the drama of another being who has temporarily forgotten how powerful they are.
Experienced an extraordinary example of some extremely bold and highly
effective 'stalking' last night on forum chat, it was pure skill in
action I rarely witness and utterly completely fascinating to witness.
Every move she made was, I have to use the word impeccable, hitting the
ball on the 'sweet spot' of the racket with each word.
Its so difficult to talk about here and and perhaps its not even right
to...these are sacred personal processes, but I'm going to anyway
without mentioning names, as it is a significant past of my experience
right now. It brought home that we are not who we think we are, we are
far stronger and more mysterious than we realise. She went straight past
outer personality and addressed who the guy really is at his core. He
was more than taken aback that somebody addressed him in his full
authentic core being.....especially as he was very very busy belittling
himself and not being authentic. Then he was caught in the headlights.
It was a lesson for me in how to position myself inside when approached
by the belief system of another, especially when its one that wants to
pull you into joining a 'game' based around the self weakening belief
structure they hold. The guy on the forum came in with a strong 'poor
me' complex. I do recognise it when people do that, and I usually
respond with empathy and try and counteract it by reminding them that
they are stronger than they think in some way.
She
however, just called it and said a big NO to it, and forcefully too. I
started thinking 'awwww poor guy' which is me just joining in with his
'game' of poor me. But I said nothing and watched. She on the the other
hand refused to see him as anything less than a strong sovereign spirit,
even though he was expressing his weakness. As soon as she did that,
and in such a clear clean way too, he turned very gamey, and then tried
all sorts of squirming maneuvers .....he tried 'funny' and then tried
'clever' in desperation, anything but sit in the truth of himself that
he had just been reminded of. It was truly a revelation.
I
thought of my fiery, indignant response to SGs email of honest
revelation, where he shared the truth of his unfulfilling life and
unhappy relationship. It surprised me a little at the time that I should
respond with forcefulness to a man having the courage to open up his
secret inner pain to me. I felt the rightness of it in my heart though, I
knew without a shadow of doubt that the strength in me was addressing
the strength in him in that response.
I was responding to the self weakening SG had been engaging, and
refusing to see him as weak. So what DO you say to a strong spirit who
is engaging almost suicidal weakness? Well I say, 'What the *** are you
doing that for, you know better' And Id want the same treatment myself.
What I saw 20 years ago was pure strength, a force to be reckoned with.
And its what I see now too, whatever the process he is playing out down
there, it doesn't change what I see.
That
is a much more useful than, ' awww there there' sympathy ****. It all
went downhill between us after that. At one point just after his email, I
said, 'Dude, you need to get out' and he said 'I know'. That was the
truth. Then his fear stepped back in, and he listened to its advice, and
others around him voiced his fears too strengthening themfurther. Truth
was bargained with. He then started to defend the life he has created.
That put me on a different team from him right there, and concordance
faltered. I am of course on a different team from his fears. So
communication was no longer spirit to spirit, truth to truth. We tried
'my compromised truth to your compromised truth' after that. Felt like a
bowl of sick. I so didnt want to lose him, I was willing to try that
for a while. (Note the illustration of the danger of attachment in
action.)
People make their choices, and they do what they do. Life goes on....or
it doesn't. It doesn't really matter. Death is stalking every one of us
every second of every day whatever we choose. As Juan Matus said "We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same."
I would like to thank that skilled stalker. Today I feel renewed energy and a greater clarity about what it means to stay on my rock and not be pulled into the drama of another being who has temporarily forgotten how powerful they are.