06-19-2005, 12:00 AM
I believe its a useful service to fellow travelers to examine more details about the migration of my viewpoints, which finally culminated in a very appropriate meeting with the person who could help assemble the final pieces of the unfolding puzzle.
Without knowing more there will be a tendency for others to wrongfully conclude that their belief in maintaining a positive attitude is more evolved than what seems to be my more cynical or paranoid one. In reality, Im more optimistic than ever, but better informed about the exact nature of the hurdles to spiritual progress any human being faces.
Students of Western Esoteric teachings who have labored as I used to, under a belief that its the ego we must overcome, are indeed close to the truth, as far as where the battlefield exists. But that Dweller on the Threshold which occult teachings speak of is not something purely internal or psychological. The opponent is real and enjoys distinct, higher ground, advantages while we are unaware of its objective existence and its strategic maneuver to give us its mind.
I had been a long-run proponent of positive thinking and the idea of humans as magical beings capable of creating their own reality long before such became popularized as New Age thought. For a good while, I was pretty much convinced that the only thing that was lacking in anyones life to turn it into a virtual paradise was ones degree of ability to be a positive thinker and exert magical control over their environment. My approach to such was fairly sophisticated and couched in mystical and occult technicalities.
I still believe in such dynamics, but now take into factor certain circumstantial overlays that make the game of life a much more complicated and unsure proposition. I began to experience these additional dynamics as I actually progressed; not only in my abilities to think positively and manifest, but also in shedding certain negative habits I had that held me back. I began helping others to overcome their obstructions, sometimes as tutoring, or counseling, at others, more like psychic healing. There were times I additionally experienced serendipitous adventures in which I would play a role in actually rescuing an individual from a bad scrape or intervene to expose someone who was preying on others. These situations were often occasions where occult phenomena and principles were involved in such a way that those at peril would not have found help, let alone understanding through mundane channels. So I felt I was answering a unique call and succeeding in opportunities to render fellow human beings a service, and none of this for pay or notoriety, but always gratis.
At a certain juncture, instead of things becoming rosier as I fully expected, my life actually got progressively harder and there began to occur in my circumstances spells of misfortune that had all the earmarks of being downright sabotage and mischief. Furthermore, much of my efforts to rely on my usual magical techniques for prevailing against negativities began to fail miserably. I entered a very bad slump and dark period. Of course my first explanations revolved around a failure on my part in maintaining a positive outlook. I also entertained the notion that I was working through some karma. But as these soul searchings and rededications to spiritual excellence produced no fruitful change in my situation, I began to explore other options like considering the notion that I was facing some kind of invisible foe that was not internal. It seemed to me the more I examined my experiences, that there was a something out there that was actually taking my personal progress and good works as a threat or offence to its own, negative purposes. It seemed like efforts were being doubled to overwhelm me to a point where I would be totally consumed in dealing with my misfortunes and thus unable to do anything serviceable for others. I began, at that time to study what little was available out there to shed light on the occult nature and motivations of dark or negative beings.
I began to develop a theory, collating it with certain occult teachings regarding the World Tyrant and Mass Mind, that there was a highly intelligent genius working in the world to manifest a degeneration and enslavement of humankind. And through human channels that influence appears to be succeeding enormously. Even though I believe to this day that man is soon destined to make a leap forward in evolution and enter a spiritual Golden Age, I also have become fully aware of mans current tendency to prefer darkness and choose a negative path in full cooperation with this ingenious will to undermine human progress.
I had previously allowed myself to be admonished by the teachings I studied and almost superstitiously avoid focusing on negative entities and the existence of relative evil in the world. But I now began realizing that without becoming cynical or paranoid, one could build a more informed defense against the of the oppositions attacks by making a study of its characteristics. Of coarse such realization was rewarded with further retaliations. I determined at that time to drop any pretenses that I was in a friendly environment, and shifted to the viewpoint of a Warrior in enemy occupied territory.
To be continued.
- Toltechie
Without knowing more there will be a tendency for others to wrongfully conclude that their belief in maintaining a positive attitude is more evolved than what seems to be my more cynical or paranoid one. In reality, Im more optimistic than ever, but better informed about the exact nature of the hurdles to spiritual progress any human being faces.
Students of Western Esoteric teachings who have labored as I used to, under a belief that its the ego we must overcome, are indeed close to the truth, as far as where the battlefield exists. But that Dweller on the Threshold which occult teachings speak of is not something purely internal or psychological. The opponent is real and enjoys distinct, higher ground, advantages while we are unaware of its objective existence and its strategic maneuver to give us its mind.
I had been a long-run proponent of positive thinking and the idea of humans as magical beings capable of creating their own reality long before such became popularized as New Age thought. For a good while, I was pretty much convinced that the only thing that was lacking in anyones life to turn it into a virtual paradise was ones degree of ability to be a positive thinker and exert magical control over their environment. My approach to such was fairly sophisticated and couched in mystical and occult technicalities.
I still believe in such dynamics, but now take into factor certain circumstantial overlays that make the game of life a much more complicated and unsure proposition. I began to experience these additional dynamics as I actually progressed; not only in my abilities to think positively and manifest, but also in shedding certain negative habits I had that held me back. I began helping others to overcome their obstructions, sometimes as tutoring, or counseling, at others, more like psychic healing. There were times I additionally experienced serendipitous adventures in which I would play a role in actually rescuing an individual from a bad scrape or intervene to expose someone who was preying on others. These situations were often occasions where occult phenomena and principles were involved in such a way that those at peril would not have found help, let alone understanding through mundane channels. So I felt I was answering a unique call and succeeding in opportunities to render fellow human beings a service, and none of this for pay or notoriety, but always gratis.
At a certain juncture, instead of things becoming rosier as I fully expected, my life actually got progressively harder and there began to occur in my circumstances spells of misfortune that had all the earmarks of being downright sabotage and mischief. Furthermore, much of my efforts to rely on my usual magical techniques for prevailing against negativities began to fail miserably. I entered a very bad slump and dark period. Of course my first explanations revolved around a failure on my part in maintaining a positive outlook. I also entertained the notion that I was working through some karma. But as these soul searchings and rededications to spiritual excellence produced no fruitful change in my situation, I began to explore other options like considering the notion that I was facing some kind of invisible foe that was not internal. It seemed to me the more I examined my experiences, that there was a something out there that was actually taking my personal progress and good works as a threat or offence to its own, negative purposes. It seemed like efforts were being doubled to overwhelm me to a point where I would be totally consumed in dealing with my misfortunes and thus unable to do anything serviceable for others. I began, at that time to study what little was available out there to shed light on the occult nature and motivations of dark or negative beings.
I began to develop a theory, collating it with certain occult teachings regarding the World Tyrant and Mass Mind, that there was a highly intelligent genius working in the world to manifest a degeneration and enslavement of humankind. And through human channels that influence appears to be succeeding enormously. Even though I believe to this day that man is soon destined to make a leap forward in evolution and enter a spiritual Golden Age, I also have become fully aware of mans current tendency to prefer darkness and choose a negative path in full cooperation with this ingenious will to undermine human progress.
I had previously allowed myself to be admonished by the teachings I studied and almost superstitiously avoid focusing on negative entities and the existence of relative evil in the world. But I now began realizing that without becoming cynical or paranoid, one could build a more informed defense against the of the oppositions attacks by making a study of its characteristics. Of coarse such realization was rewarded with further retaliations. I determined at that time to drop any pretenses that I was in a friendly environment, and shifted to the viewpoint of a Warrior in enemy occupied territory.
To be continued.
- Toltechie