03-19-2003, 12:00 AM
I'm really not sure how to name phenomena when 'seeing'. So maybe someone can give a different interpretation or find clues that point out to own experiences.
Around Christmas this year, it had been snowing. On a Sunday shortly before or after Christmas I wanted to go horsebackriding, but couldn't do so because of the snow. The mere had 4 horseshoes, which would break her legs in case I would ride her. Since I take care of the amount of exercise I do during one week, I decided to do a 3 hours walk, that would take me to the stable where the horses were at. The hike was almost boring and at the end really tiring. Finally I reached the stable. When I got there, I noticed that my internal dialogue had come to a complete stop. Horses always give me a lot of personal power. When touching the mere I felt my weariness vanish into some happy excitement, the coldness in my fingers changed into a pleasing skin tingle. There wasn't much to do at the stable besides giving some medicine to the horse and feeding her an apple. I tied her to a beam besides a crippled tree. The horse I felt, was very much considered about the outcome of the change in the weather. She had been inside a closed stable all her life, and this winter she only had a thick blanket, a meadow and a small shack she could walk into if it would become too wet. I felt her fear of a sudden death because of the cold weather. I myself like snow very much, maybe because nature is as taciturn as it is pretty looking and there is always a challenge to get back into the warmth after being in nature.
I felt a bit pity for the horse since she was at the weather's mercy, and wouldn't know, that there was no real danger for her. My mood and the horses mood created the most surprising effect on my 'seeing'. I noticed how he glossiest yellow light I've ever seen would flow down this crippled tree I had tied the horse to. It would flow like down the branches like a thunder and touch the mere and me. I felt touched. The skies opened and beams of this light would pour down. And it wouldn't stop, the light would drip around me like some precious fluidity. I was standing like in the middle of a soft lightening until the whole scenery was lighted up in a mellow yellow glow. I felt the mere's relieve of the Spirit's presence. There wasn't anything to worry about. Just the realization to be alive at that precious moment, would be enough. I looked around and noticed, that close to my feet and the horses hoofs, on the ground there was some black/brown mass sitting. It changed shape while I watched it and would creep closer to the horse, away from me. I could look through this mass, it was somewhat like a brown jelly and I could perceive the obstacle on the ground better then the obstacles outside of this mass. My awareness at this moment was too much into heightened awareness to grasp any thoughts. I take feeling as means for orientation then. I felt it was some kind of a daring awareness, that wouldn't be shy to come close to the impeccability of the Spirit's emanations. Slowly the light ceased to poor down from the skies. Meanwhile I had taken care of the horse and had put her to the other horses. I felt fresh like in the morning and ready to take another 90 minutes walk. Darkness stated to fall and I melted with the shadows darkness while walking to the trainstation.
I consider myself a bit dumb for this comment on this 'brown jelly' now. Recapitulation showed me, that this mass was not friendly. It came to fight me and the light that was flowing around the horse and me. It was bound to stay on the ground, it didn't come up to my midsection. I felt completely detached of it's presence therefore. Maybe a flyer?
Around Christmas this year, it had been snowing. On a Sunday shortly before or after Christmas I wanted to go horsebackriding, but couldn't do so because of the snow. The mere had 4 horseshoes, which would break her legs in case I would ride her. Since I take care of the amount of exercise I do during one week, I decided to do a 3 hours walk, that would take me to the stable where the horses were at. The hike was almost boring and at the end really tiring. Finally I reached the stable. When I got there, I noticed that my internal dialogue had come to a complete stop. Horses always give me a lot of personal power. When touching the mere I felt my weariness vanish into some happy excitement, the coldness in my fingers changed into a pleasing skin tingle. There wasn't much to do at the stable besides giving some medicine to the horse and feeding her an apple. I tied her to a beam besides a crippled tree. The horse I felt, was very much considered about the outcome of the change in the weather. She had been inside a closed stable all her life, and this winter she only had a thick blanket, a meadow and a small shack she could walk into if it would become too wet. I felt her fear of a sudden death because of the cold weather. I myself like snow very much, maybe because nature is as taciturn as it is pretty looking and there is always a challenge to get back into the warmth after being in nature.
I felt a bit pity for the horse since she was at the weather's mercy, and wouldn't know, that there was no real danger for her. My mood and the horses mood created the most surprising effect on my 'seeing'. I noticed how he glossiest yellow light I've ever seen would flow down this crippled tree I had tied the horse to. It would flow like down the branches like a thunder and touch the mere and me. I felt touched. The skies opened and beams of this light would pour down. And it wouldn't stop, the light would drip around me like some precious fluidity. I was standing like in the middle of a soft lightening until the whole scenery was lighted up in a mellow yellow glow. I felt the mere's relieve of the Spirit's presence. There wasn't anything to worry about. Just the realization to be alive at that precious moment, would be enough. I looked around and noticed, that close to my feet and the horses hoofs, on the ground there was some black/brown mass sitting. It changed shape while I watched it and would creep closer to the horse, away from me. I could look through this mass, it was somewhat like a brown jelly and I could perceive the obstacle on the ground better then the obstacles outside of this mass. My awareness at this moment was too much into heightened awareness to grasp any thoughts. I take feeling as means for orientation then. I felt it was some kind of a daring awareness, that wouldn't be shy to come close to the impeccability of the Spirit's emanations. Slowly the light ceased to poor down from the skies. Meanwhile I had taken care of the horse and had put her to the other horses. I felt fresh like in the morning and ready to take another 90 minutes walk. Darkness stated to fall and I melted with the shadows darkness while walking to the trainstation.
I consider myself a bit dumb for this comment on this 'brown jelly' now. Recapitulation showed me, that this mass was not friendly. It came to fight me and the light that was flowing around the horse and me. It was bound to stay on the ground, it didn't come up to my midsection. I felt completely detached of it's presence therefore. Maybe a flyer?