03-27-2011, 12:00 AM
This is a description of an "experience" I had some time ago, written down a couple of hours afterward:
I have bad news. I just got killed by Zen.
It happened during meditation, when a realization occurred:
You are already awake, you just think you're sleeping, and that's the imaginary "veil" that doesn't really exist and never did. It's really the most hilarious thing - there is no world, no horrors, no joys, no you, and no me.
If there was an "I," then I could voice from personal experience that this is the case. But there is no I, and no "personal experience." That's why it's very funny. I'd say I exploded, except I was never there. There never was anybody to explode. Haha. It would be delightfully liberating, if there were anyone to liberate.
Nonduality. No me, no you, no world, and nothing to realize. Just this. This, without qualification, completely clear, completely real, completely absolute, and completely without anybody doing anything anywhere. Not one thing existing or happening, just absolute timeless, spaceless clarity. No self. Nothing to cling to, nothing to fear.
At the moment this became clear, there was a physical experience like smoking 1000 crack rocks, but it was of no importance or significance because there wasn't any me for it to be significant to, nor anybody else.
I'd say I figured out existence, except there never was any existence nor any me to figure it out. You don't get this realization, it gets you. "You" discover irreversibly that you are figment of your own imagination.
It's going to sound like I'm making this up and/or parroting it from some "enlightenment" story. Haha, I don't care, because there isn't any me to care. You can't fake this. The idea of faking this is absurd and hilarious. It would be accurate to say I had a realization about an hour ago, except that there wasn't any me to have it.
Isn't that about the craziest thing?
I share this for no other reason than to encourage you to keep practicing. You can wake up from the imaginary sleep and open your eyes for the first time - but they are no longer "your" eyes. They aren't even eyes, because there's nobody seeing and nothing to see. There is only the radiant clarity of immediate awareness. Everything is suddenly REAL, because there are no things. Separation and division are revealed as completely imaginary.
Just like that. Bing... awake. Mind-blowing (literally), but absolutely no big deal. Completely ordinary, because it's never been otherwise, even though you thought it was. You might laugh at everything for hours.
No words can produce or convey this realization, though. You have to get to it your own way. I could tell you what worked from me, but it might not work for you. The most important thing is to know that this experience is real and can be had. Actually, it is the ONLY experience that is real and the ONLY one that can be had.
It's the one we're all having right now, except we don't know it because we believe there is something to have (the realization) and somebody to have it (us). There's nothing to have, because there is nothing that is not the realization, and there's nobody to have it, for the same reason. I am Zen. You are Zen. Zen is all there is.
Good luck - there's life after 'you.'
I have bad news. I just got killed by Zen.
It happened during meditation, when a realization occurred:
You are already awake, you just think you're sleeping, and that's the imaginary "veil" that doesn't really exist and never did. It's really the most hilarious thing - there is no world, no horrors, no joys, no you, and no me.
If there was an "I," then I could voice from personal experience that this is the case. But there is no I, and no "personal experience." That's why it's very funny. I'd say I exploded, except I was never there. There never was anybody to explode. Haha. It would be delightfully liberating, if there were anyone to liberate.
Nonduality. No me, no you, no world, and nothing to realize. Just this. This, without qualification, completely clear, completely real, completely absolute, and completely without anybody doing anything anywhere. Not one thing existing or happening, just absolute timeless, spaceless clarity. No self. Nothing to cling to, nothing to fear.
At the moment this became clear, there was a physical experience like smoking 1000 crack rocks, but it was of no importance or significance because there wasn't any me for it to be significant to, nor anybody else.
I'd say I figured out existence, except there never was any existence nor any me to figure it out. You don't get this realization, it gets you. "You" discover irreversibly that you are figment of your own imagination.
It's going to sound like I'm making this up and/or parroting it from some "enlightenment" story. Haha, I don't care, because there isn't any me to care. You can't fake this. The idea of faking this is absurd and hilarious. It would be accurate to say I had a realization about an hour ago, except that there wasn't any me to have it.
Isn't that about the craziest thing?
I share this for no other reason than to encourage you to keep practicing. You can wake up from the imaginary sleep and open your eyes for the first time - but they are no longer "your" eyes. They aren't even eyes, because there's nobody seeing and nothing to see. There is only the radiant clarity of immediate awareness. Everything is suddenly REAL, because there are no things. Separation and division are revealed as completely imaginary.
Just like that. Bing... awake. Mind-blowing (literally), but absolutely no big deal. Completely ordinary, because it's never been otherwise, even though you thought it was. You might laugh at everything for hours.
No words can produce or convey this realization, though. You have to get to it your own way. I could tell you what worked from me, but it might not work for you. The most important thing is to know that this experience is real and can be had. Actually, it is the ONLY experience that is real and the ONLY one that can be had.
It's the one we're all having right now, except we don't know it because we believe there is something to have (the realization) and somebody to have it (us). There's nothing to have, because there is nothing that is not the realization, and there's nobody to have it, for the same reason. I am Zen. You are Zen. Zen is all there is.
Good luck - there's life after 'you.'


I had the same insights during meditations, so I know what is it that you try to describe ))...