01-10-2011, 12:00 AM
America one step closer to realising life is not a film
10-01-11
THE United States has taken another small step towards realising they are not all the stars of some badly written melodrama.
Most Americans would like to play Travis Bickle
Faint
neural connections were achieved in the country's 300 million brains
after it emerged that when the people who run the country talk like a
Stephen Seagal character and you give guns to nutters then actual humans
get killed in real life.
As the investigation began into the
shooting of Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords and the murder of six
others, psychiatrists said America may now be starting to recognise that
if you are not on a film set then grabbing a massive pistol and saying
'let's dance' in a deep, croaky voice is terrifying and insane.
Dr
Julian Cook, head of geo-cultural psychology at Reading University,
added: "When we're little children we imagine we're James Bond or the
star of a violent war film. We clutch at our chest in fake injury before
recovering and killing all the baddies with our high-powered index
finger.
"Now imagine a hugely powerful economy where everyone
thinks like that every minute of the day and they all have incredibly
real guns."
But Todd Logan, from Minnesota, said: "I was one of the stars of 9-11: Freedom's Darkest Hour. I played the character who phoned up the White House and told the President he had to kick some ass.
"Then,
a few minutes later, you see him contacting me personally through my
television to say 'mission accomplished' before kissing his wife who we
all thought was dead. It was a really great scene."
He added: "I only have a very minor part in Arizona Takedown - I play 'Man with Opinion' - but I am up for a big role in How Todd Logan Succeeds in Business Without Really Trying."
Meanwhile Sarah Palin, star of Lock and Load: The Sarah Palin Story, has insisted that gun sights can be used for all kinds of things, such as baking, jam making and homeopathic medicine.
As
she came under attack for publishing a map which showed a rifle target
over Gabrielle Giffords' congressional district, Palin rejected claims
she had promoted violence and said gun sights are rarely used in
conjunction with guns.
She said: "I actually bought the sight for my R-15 Bushmaster semi-automatic hunting rifle as an attachment for my bread maker.
"Once
you've removed the glass and the bolts you can use it as a funnel for
adding chocolate chips or little pieces of marshmallow."
http://www.thedailymash.c...not-a-film-201101103410/
10-01-11
THE United States has taken another small step towards realising they are not all the stars of some badly written melodrama.
Most Americans would like to play Travis Bickle
Faint
neural connections were achieved in the country's 300 million brains
after it emerged that when the people who run the country talk like a
Stephen Seagal character and you give guns to nutters then actual humans
get killed in real life.
As the investigation began into the
shooting of Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords and the murder of six
others, psychiatrists said America may now be starting to recognise that
if you are not on a film set then grabbing a massive pistol and saying
'let's dance' in a deep, croaky voice is terrifying and insane.
Dr
Julian Cook, head of geo-cultural psychology at Reading University,
added: "When we're little children we imagine we're James Bond or the
star of a violent war film. We clutch at our chest in fake injury before
recovering and killing all the baddies with our high-powered index
finger.
"Now imagine a hugely powerful economy where everyone
thinks like that every minute of the day and they all have incredibly
real guns."
But Todd Logan, from Minnesota, said: "I was one of the stars of 9-11: Freedom's Darkest Hour. I played the character who phoned up the White House and told the President he had to kick some ass.
"Then,
a few minutes later, you see him contacting me personally through my
television to say 'mission accomplished' before kissing his wife who we
all thought was dead. It was a really great scene."
He added: "I only have a very minor part in Arizona Takedown - I play 'Man with Opinion' - but I am up for a big role in How Todd Logan Succeeds in Business Without Really Trying."
Meanwhile Sarah Palin, star of Lock and Load: The Sarah Palin Story, has insisted that gun sights can be used for all kinds of things, such as baking, jam making and homeopathic medicine.
As
she came under attack for publishing a map which showed a rifle target
over Gabrielle Giffords' congressional district, Palin rejected claims
she had promoted violence and said gun sights are rarely used in
conjunction with guns.
She said: "I actually bought the sight for my R-15 Bushmaster semi-automatic hunting rifle as an attachment for my bread maker.
"Once
you've removed the glass and the bolts you can use it as a funnel for
adding chocolate chips or little pieces of marshmallow."
http://www.thedailymash.c...not-a-film-201101103410/