07-04-2015, 12:01 AM
With fucked-up circular rhetoric coinciding with my waning energy, I found that I was mirroring and manifesting a 'down' state of existince the last hours. Awareness of awareness needs reinforcement by awareness--lol > I reread my own writing too; there is none better.)
(REPEAT) "... I draw from the phenomenon of an emptied soul. When I detach, I really am detached.
... I become sort of omniscient; I know because there is nothing to know.... I feel the presence of my own body."
SEE > Not talking **** here. I remember (re-assume) the state of worth-negation > For a fucking fact I KNOW EMPIRICALLY (not just reason or thoughts) I am meaningless. This experience is foundational.
So long as you cannot overcome your fear of encountering this existential state, all effort and detachment will be a circularily futile waste. TELLING YOU!!!!!!! ....... Because >
this is the womb for unmitigated, unattached awareness > power...freedom...authenticity...desire...passion...wisdom...sobriety...undiluted sadness and joy...
When you yourselves are visited by such 'down' states I know where you look... but of course > to some variation of that which is manifestly apparent (even if it's your warrior psycho-babble). Go ahead, think about what I said. TRUE??
I taught myself to pay attention not to do that. Instead, I formed the habit of IMMEDIATELY KNOWING my void. (Sensation of self-abandonment, even forlorn surrender from the 'down,' and going even deeper still > descending to where I lose the battle > full realization of such.
What'cha think happens??? Natural, naked awareness is what happens, and ego billy SELF ascends > REALLY!
...... and... power...freedom...authenticity...desire...passion...wisdom...sobriety...undiluted sadness and joy...
BUT, ya have to first intend and allow the full brunt of self-annihilation. It is horrid at first to succumb to such stark, truthful admission that one can enter a state of no worth. I PROMISE you won't lose your SELF.
Reason-based directives can help coax you to the 'emptiness' I talk about.
(REPEAT) "... I draw from the phenomenon of an emptied soul. When I detach, I really am detached.
... I become sort of omniscient; I know because there is nothing to know.... I feel the presence of my own body."
SEE > Not talking **** here. I remember (re-assume) the state of worth-negation > For a fucking fact I KNOW EMPIRICALLY (not just reason or thoughts) I am meaningless. This experience is foundational.
So long as you cannot overcome your fear of encountering this existential state, all effort and detachment will be a circularily futile waste. TELLING YOU!!!!!!! ....... Because >
this is the womb for unmitigated, unattached awareness > power...freedom...authenticity...desire...passion...wisdom...sobriety...undiluted sadness and joy...
When you yourselves are visited by such 'down' states I know where you look... but of course > to some variation of that which is manifestly apparent (even if it's your warrior psycho-babble). Go ahead, think about what I said. TRUE??
I taught myself to pay attention not to do that. Instead, I formed the habit of IMMEDIATELY KNOWING my void. (Sensation of self-abandonment, even forlorn surrender from the 'down,' and going even deeper still > descending to where I lose the battle > full realization of such.
What'cha think happens??? Natural, naked awareness is what happens, and ego billy SELF ascends > REALLY!
...... and... power...freedom...authenticity...desire...passion...wisdom...sobriety...undiluted sadness and joy...
BUT, ya have to first intend and allow the full brunt of self-annihilation. It is horrid at first to succumb to such stark, truthful admission that one can enter a state of no worth. I PROMISE you won't lose your SELF.
Reason-based directives can help coax you to the 'emptiness' I talk about.