07-09-2015, 12:01 AM
Recapitulation had a major impact several years ago. I was fighting for months with my wife over what else but sex. I was making a war, and my wife finally was signing for a condo rental, and our house was at stake.
During this war, I began to write of my life just to keep my sanity. I found that what I was really doing was recapitulation the way Castaneda had meant.
I had enough detachment so when I revisited unsavory life experiences, not only could I remember and relive the pain and sadness, but this pain and sadness was mixed with astounding joy. Believe me I was recouping energy a thousand-fold too. I would write twenty hours a day at times and rarely slept more than a couple hours a night (if at all) during these months.
At one point, I actually summoned my mother-in-law (OH MY FUCKING GOD) so my wife would stay. She stayed, but her bitter hatred was all she afforded me. It was BAD; and I smashed our Lexus into a deer at dark. Everything seemed to crumble, but I was staying integrated.
I got a real taste for negative states of mind then too; I had boundless irreducible energy. I was getting off in unending waves of both pain and bliss. Nothing could threaten my wholeness.
The writings became an e-book that was selling okay, but I pulled it to rework and add. I was looking for something about Castaneda's Flyers, and I found serloco here instead, and never wrote another word.
BEYOND ME is areference to serloco and the concept of unlimited resource and allies.
During this war, I began to write of my life just to keep my sanity. I found that what I was really doing was recapitulation the way Castaneda had meant.
I had enough detachment so when I revisited unsavory life experiences, not only could I remember and relive the pain and sadness, but this pain and sadness was mixed with astounding joy. Believe me I was recouping energy a thousand-fold too. I would write twenty hours a day at times and rarely slept more than a couple hours a night (if at all) during these months.
At one point, I actually summoned my mother-in-law (OH MY FUCKING GOD) so my wife would stay. She stayed, but her bitter hatred was all she afforded me. It was BAD; and I smashed our Lexus into a deer at dark. Everything seemed to crumble, but I was staying integrated.
I got a real taste for negative states of mind then too; I had boundless irreducible energy. I was getting off in unending waves of both pain and bliss. Nothing could threaten my wholeness.
The writings became an e-book that was selling okay, but I pulled it to rework and add. I was looking for something about Castaneda's Flyers, and I found serloco here instead, and never wrote another word.
BEYOND ME is areference to serloco and the concept of unlimited resource and allies.