08-20-2015, 12:02 AM
Oh, and the trickery to beat the **** out of my self------- yeah, I do use that.
It works to create immense space. I work this space (separation-detachment) with the authenticity of my own presence and unconditional awareness..
Imitation of Christ (Thomas a' Kempis) is my favorite for abasing. Mind you, I'm non-theist. so where reference to God was made, I conjured a vague infinite, sacred feeling. Later on, I substituted the words God, Christ, Thee, Thou, Spirit, Master, Lord, etc. for one word, shame. I worshipped, loved, intimated with the idea that all words and concepts read were funneling me into the deep abyss of self shame. This is very effective, and I could write rationally at length why it is so.
Again, this sort of annihilation is nothing new. Miguel de Molinos was the original author of such abasement and what its effects were (Spiritual Guide which Disentangles the Soul). I highly recommend it to get an overview. Again though, I think it will suit you better if you exchange the terms relating to God to ones more accessible to your own TASTES. Whenever you engage this sort of reading, it is best that you physically absorb and TASTE the essential sentiment. You need to feel your body chemistry and let yourself be reduced to (sink into) primitive sensations. These are what will bring you back again and again. The primal, adrenal states further in will effect every nerve in your body. These are luscious, sensual, exquisitely erotic experiences. They can accede to ecstacy and euphoria, and they always fill you with abundance of energy. Detachment practices when going about in the world thereafter involved heightened awareness. In other words, the very pure, base (animal) presence you obtain to in 'shame/annihilation,' has residual effect when you learn to intend it. The appetite grows, and this cycle becomes reinforcing to some degree.
The overwhelming floods of energy were a welcome challenge. I say were, because all these new experiences evolve into others, as if in ever new stages.
It works to create immense space. I work this space (separation-detachment) with the authenticity of my own presence and unconditional awareness..
Imitation of Christ (Thomas a' Kempis) is my favorite for abasing. Mind you, I'm non-theist. so where reference to God was made, I conjured a vague infinite, sacred feeling. Later on, I substituted the words God, Christ, Thee, Thou, Spirit, Master, Lord, etc. for one word, shame. I worshipped, loved, intimated with the idea that all words and concepts read were funneling me into the deep abyss of self shame. This is very effective, and I could write rationally at length why it is so.
Again, this sort of annihilation is nothing new. Miguel de Molinos was the original author of such abasement and what its effects were (Spiritual Guide which Disentangles the Soul). I highly recommend it to get an overview. Again though, I think it will suit you better if you exchange the terms relating to God to ones more accessible to your own TASTES. Whenever you engage this sort of reading, it is best that you physically absorb and TASTE the essential sentiment. You need to feel your body chemistry and let yourself be reduced to (sink into) primitive sensations. These are what will bring you back again and again. The primal, adrenal states further in will effect every nerve in your body. These are luscious, sensual, exquisitely erotic experiences. They can accede to ecstacy and euphoria, and they always fill you with abundance of energy. Detachment practices when going about in the world thereafter involved heightened awareness. In other words, the very pure, base (animal) presence you obtain to in 'shame/annihilation,' has residual effect when you learn to intend it. The appetite grows, and this cycle becomes reinforcing to some degree.
The overwhelming floods of energy were a welcome challenge. I say were, because all these new experiences evolve into others, as if in ever new stages.