09-15-2015, 12:03 AM
No monkey business..
The path of abnegation has threads in most all religious mysticism. Rejection of self in Christianity is often based on the humbling premise that "I" do not deserve to be in God's presence. Today I grasped a key aspect of my own abnegation. By the way, I made it very simple.. I did "I" don't deserve to be {PERIOD!}. In brutal negation (mine as self-retreat in solitude a few hours or so a day), you are not wanting to accept your 'self' in any sense whatsoever. Now here is the great concept I finally understand. In order to negate, you quickly get the gist that ANY thing, emotion, or thought becomes HELPFULLY REPREHENSIBLE. That is, the distraction of these elements (especially self-pity), remind you that you still exist. If you have really set out diligently to do a number on your 'self,' then these distractions bring a sense of shame. I mean, WTF, you can't even succeed at being worthless. In turn, this takes you down a notch, which is good. As you get down, you see any of your subtle indulgences in emotion, and you genuinely despise your 'self' for having them. But anger, doesn't work at all; it is a blatant statement of your existence. Every random feeling begins to make you a loser, and you finally start to get this: YOU ARE A LOSER! LOSER'S quit.. they surrender.
The key is that you can't negate really unless you are dead. Yes, you surrender a sense of value as the entity 'self,' but the awareness of being is intact; AND, you are acutely paying attention- witnessing- and this is perfect detachment. By doing this again and again, there is an unconscious enhancement of your want and ability to detach even as you go back into the world. A clear association of separation from the world ensues naturally as you identify with the inner-peace of negation experience. Truly, you will become enamored with your sense of humble surrender. This is why I give advance warning to be circumspect in manifesting this new-found peace and well-being externally. All kinds of **** can fly, and sentiments DO change. You will become effective to be sure.. but understand to gain maturity before willful manifestation. I mean I got to a point I wanted to obey my wife for a prurient sense of surrender. OMG LAUGH > that had some strange effects on her and me both in tandem, then not so tandem.
Ironically, as I comprehended that 'what you do' has little connection to remaining detached and peaceful, I was able to freely manifest in all kinds of ways. It all becomes PLAYFUL pretense to a large degree, and at this point the learning curve seems to accelerate. I won't elaborate, except to say that serloco's ideas about projecting form and creating the character parts of others in 'your' world is very realistic.
What irony. I kill 'self' to become SELF RULER.
smile.. let me tell ya
The path of abnegation has threads in most all religious mysticism. Rejection of self in Christianity is often based on the humbling premise that "I" do not deserve to be in God's presence. Today I grasped a key aspect of my own abnegation. By the way, I made it very simple.. I did "I" don't deserve to be {PERIOD!}. In brutal negation (mine as self-retreat in solitude a few hours or so a day), you are not wanting to accept your 'self' in any sense whatsoever. Now here is the great concept I finally understand. In order to negate, you quickly get the gist that ANY thing, emotion, or thought becomes HELPFULLY REPREHENSIBLE. That is, the distraction of these elements (especially self-pity), remind you that you still exist. If you have really set out diligently to do a number on your 'self,' then these distractions bring a sense of shame. I mean, WTF, you can't even succeed at being worthless. In turn, this takes you down a notch, which is good. As you get down, you see any of your subtle indulgences in emotion, and you genuinely despise your 'self' for having them. But anger, doesn't work at all; it is a blatant statement of your existence. Every random feeling begins to make you a loser, and you finally start to get this: YOU ARE A LOSER! LOSER'S quit.. they surrender.
The key is that you can't negate really unless you are dead. Yes, you surrender a sense of value as the entity 'self,' but the awareness of being is intact; AND, you are acutely paying attention- witnessing- and this is perfect detachment. By doing this again and again, there is an unconscious enhancement of your want and ability to detach even as you go back into the world. A clear association of separation from the world ensues naturally as you identify with the inner-peace of negation experience. Truly, you will become enamored with your sense of humble surrender. This is why I give advance warning to be circumspect in manifesting this new-found peace and well-being externally. All kinds of **** can fly, and sentiments DO change. You will become effective to be sure.. but understand to gain maturity before willful manifestation. I mean I got to a point I wanted to obey my wife for a prurient sense of surrender. OMG LAUGH > that had some strange effects on her and me both in tandem, then not so tandem.
Ironically, as I comprehended that 'what you do' has little connection to remaining detached and peaceful, I was able to freely manifest in all kinds of ways. It all becomes PLAYFUL pretense to a large degree, and at this point the learning curve seems to accelerate. I won't elaborate, except to say that serloco's ideas about projecting form and creating the character parts of others in 'your' world is very realistic.
What irony. I kill 'self' to become SELF RULER.
smile.. let me tell ya