11-25-2015, 12:07 AM
NOW, in spite of everything counter, I am going to come in here hard hittting on what is structurally IMPORTANT!
As I do, I'll give some scant historical context first: From birth, I think I wanted to crawl back into the security of mommy's womb. I believe life was more intimidating to me than to others, and I became accustomed early on retreating into a world of daydreams. I HATED the structure of learning. The gravity of this kept me down as a dummy to be ridiculed in elementary. My mother had to beg, and prod, and pull me to understand and complete school homework assignments.
I was pushed along by others at various stages of life. I had quit tryouts for wrestling after only a couple days as a freshman in high school, when a date for my older sister made it seem I was the most pathetic loser in the world for having done so. He convinced me to go back, though now I was now two more weeks further behind the others. Somehow I persisted. By junior year, I was formally awarded outstanding wrestler of my high school class, and moved on collegiately with a scholarship.
Yet when it came learning in Physiology and Biology courses, which were part of a Bachelor of Arts in Physical Education/lol, I could only pass by breaking into the professor's office (3:00 A.M.) and stealing the final exam tests. When I graduated and became a high school substitute teacher, I was very much a person unwilling to expand. Then came along Joe (aware person #1) who pushed me along to become more aware. My God, before this stage of my life my head was totally up my ass. I had NO awareness. Decades later, Alonzo (aware person #2) pushed further the boundaries of my awareness, and he did so dynamically; but after he left, I retreated as I am want to do, and let myself languish. Eventually, marital turmoil resulted, and it was only by recapitulation through writing that I revived energetic awareness. Then derek (serloco/aware person?#3) came along and expanded the possibillities.
So, now (maybe) I am going to talk about certain disciplines. Also, anytime soon I will stop writing temporarily.
As I do, I'll give some scant historical context first: From birth, I think I wanted to crawl back into the security of mommy's womb. I believe life was more intimidating to me than to others, and I became accustomed early on retreating into a world of daydreams. I HATED the structure of learning. The gravity of this kept me down as a dummy to be ridiculed in elementary. My mother had to beg, and prod, and pull me to understand and complete school homework assignments.
I was pushed along by others at various stages of life. I had quit tryouts for wrestling after only a couple days as a freshman in high school, when a date for my older sister made it seem I was the most pathetic loser in the world for having done so. He convinced me to go back, though now I was now two more weeks further behind the others. Somehow I persisted. By junior year, I was formally awarded outstanding wrestler of my high school class, and moved on collegiately with a scholarship.
Yet when it came learning in Physiology and Biology courses, which were part of a Bachelor of Arts in Physical Education/lol, I could only pass by breaking into the professor's office (3:00 A.M.) and stealing the final exam tests. When I graduated and became a high school substitute teacher, I was very much a person unwilling to expand. Then came along Joe (aware person #1) who pushed me along to become more aware. My God, before this stage of my life my head was totally up my ass. I had NO awareness. Decades later, Alonzo (aware person #2) pushed further the boundaries of my awareness, and he did so dynamically; but after he left, I retreated as I am want to do, and let myself languish. Eventually, marital turmoil resulted, and it was only by recapitulation through writing that I revived energetic awareness. Then derek (serloco/aware person?#3) came along and expanded the possibillities.
So, now (maybe) I am going to talk about certain disciplines. Also, anytime soon I will stop writing temporarily.