12-06-2015, 12:08 AM
PRIO POST & EXPANSION:
I know you know the detached (observer) view CHANGES EVERYTHING. You need to trust reason to take you away from habitual emotional indulgence. Stick with reason to exercise separation (particularly in tensed states and situations). Your reason needs to do the math > it is better not to waste energy resenting, indulging, and over-reflecting. REALLY, you need to choose the awareness that continually puts you outside of the show.. and likewise to SEE the inherent clarity for decisive actions. Whatever doing arises because the fluidity of perception has no outlying contradiction > it SEES what it SEES.
I mean, think what happens instead when you re-introduce your personal agency. Everything seen then involves endless threads of thought and import. Do you think that leads to clarity? It only fucks life up. You need to get this; you need to stamp the proclivity of reason to work for detachment as its primary function. You DO this until it is habitual.
Interact
My Recent Posts
My experience is that one gains a sense of progress in detachment that is a double edged sword. Realization of 'progress' is rewarding and good, yet there comes times when this converges on you in forms of stress, fear, anxiety, and pressure of responsibility. Very critical to know this is going to happen, and that you should not deflect this to what you think is causing it. You must break the connection to any tangible concerns that are involved. That is, take on the fear etc. directly as if it is independent of all else. You have anxiety... so identify that and move on with that state as being yours > no running or moving away from it. Hold onto and stroke the sensations. Notice the moment this interactive 'play' ensues; WHAT HAPPENS KIDDO?? (big smile here)
Regardless if the concerns are real (even if you will address them shortly with thought or/and action) this is how you settle into an objective state. Early on in this practice, you may need to gain the sort of separation I talk of by diverting self (a walk, pulling weeds, a movie, reading, a glass of wine, a nice treat in quiet repose, a ritual).
Casataneda--When faced with odds that cannot be dealt with, warriors retreat for a moment. They let their minds meander. They occupy their time with something else. Anything would do. That is the fifth principle of the art of stalking. {same principle}
Still, such retreat must be undersood as a self-teaching device to show that your states of anxiety, stress, fear etc. are not real or have no permanence. Meaning eventually, you should gain command over suchness because you can (without props).
While it is not difficult to detach and redirect angst to activity or other occupation, sometimes the awareness of infinite doing itself is tiresome and depressing. I do not have endless patience for this **** called life. I mentioned I had a proclivity early on for daydreaming, and I am only too eager at times to want retreat from objective awareness. Really, this is where billy becomes billy (I assure you that by any societal/conventional decorum or purview, this is not a pretty picture). {smile}
When my evasion from existence pervades, obviously I cannot escape the 'negative' consequences. This has never stopped me before... There is something attractive about this self-destructive behavior requiring no effort or intent. At this 'stage' I experience it like all other states and can acquiesce. However, even when withdrawn, life eventually impinges and I feel pain >>> cause when ya surrender objective awareness completely ya gonna get hurt. I laugh now because this is part of my wholeness. Sure enough.. there is pain. Naturally, self-pity is part of that.
Still, this is where I learned the art of becoming transformative... I am unwillingly forced by reality to SEE the 'damage' of my existential withdrawal (usually in bits and pieces, because I still hold to the temporary comfort and reprieve of evasion) {much like addiction to chemicals here}, but then my detachment as a rooted habit becomes value in and of itself. You may look askance, but I found pleasure identifying with the hurts. I've done this so much so, that sometimes I salivate in remembering a particular feel > LOOK > I won't mince words here, I found pleasure in the posture of being a fucking loser. Now, just as quickly, let me clarify that I have no overriding proclivity to be a loser in life generally. I like winning. I may like indulging shame from time to time, but I like pride moreso. In short, I don't terribly fear any way the experiences known to man, perhaps excepting physical bodily torture. Still, acquiescence is a tool and not necessarily a goal.
"You can check out anytime you like but you can never leave" LAUGH
I know you know the detached (observer) view CHANGES EVERYTHING. You need to trust reason to take you away from habitual emotional indulgence. Stick with reason to exercise separation (particularly in tensed states and situations). Your reason needs to do the math > it is better not to waste energy resenting, indulging, and over-reflecting. REALLY, you need to choose the awareness that continually puts you outside of the show.. and likewise to SEE the inherent clarity for decisive actions. Whatever doing arises because the fluidity of perception has no outlying contradiction > it SEES what it SEES.
I mean, think what happens instead when you re-introduce your personal agency. Everything seen then involves endless threads of thought and import. Do you think that leads to clarity? It only fucks life up. You need to get this; you need to stamp the proclivity of reason to work for detachment as its primary function. You DO this until it is habitual.
Interact
My Recent Posts
My experience is that one gains a sense of progress in detachment that is a double edged sword. Realization of 'progress' is rewarding and good, yet there comes times when this converges on you in forms of stress, fear, anxiety, and pressure of responsibility. Very critical to know this is going to happen, and that you should not deflect this to what you think is causing it. You must break the connection to any tangible concerns that are involved. That is, take on the fear etc. directly as if it is independent of all else. You have anxiety... so identify that and move on with that state as being yours > no running or moving away from it. Hold onto and stroke the sensations. Notice the moment this interactive 'play' ensues; WHAT HAPPENS KIDDO?? (big smile here)
Regardless if the concerns are real (even if you will address them shortly with thought or/and action) this is how you settle into an objective state. Early on in this practice, you may need to gain the sort of separation I talk of by diverting self (a walk, pulling weeds, a movie, reading, a glass of wine, a nice treat in quiet repose, a ritual).
Casataneda--When faced with odds that cannot be dealt with, warriors retreat for a moment. They let their minds meander. They occupy their time with something else. Anything would do. That is the fifth principle of the art of stalking. {same principle}
Still, such retreat must be undersood as a self-teaching device to show that your states of anxiety, stress, fear etc. are not real or have no permanence. Meaning eventually, you should gain command over suchness because you can (without props).
While it is not difficult to detach and redirect angst to activity or other occupation, sometimes the awareness of infinite doing itself is tiresome and depressing. I do not have endless patience for this **** called life. I mentioned I had a proclivity early on for daydreaming, and I am only too eager at times to want retreat from objective awareness. Really, this is where billy becomes billy (I assure you that by any societal/conventional decorum or purview, this is not a pretty picture). {smile}
When my evasion from existence pervades, obviously I cannot escape the 'negative' consequences. This has never stopped me before... There is something attractive about this self-destructive behavior requiring no effort or intent. At this 'stage' I experience it like all other states and can acquiesce. However, even when withdrawn, life eventually impinges and I feel pain >>> cause when ya surrender objective awareness completely ya gonna get hurt. I laugh now because this is part of my wholeness. Sure enough.. there is pain. Naturally, self-pity is part of that.
Still, this is where I learned the art of becoming transformative... I am unwillingly forced by reality to SEE the 'damage' of my existential withdrawal (usually in bits and pieces, because I still hold to the temporary comfort and reprieve of evasion) {much like addiction to chemicals here}, but then my detachment as a rooted habit becomes value in and of itself. You may look askance, but I found pleasure identifying with the hurts. I've done this so much so, that sometimes I salivate in remembering a particular feel > LOOK > I won't mince words here, I found pleasure in the posture of being a fucking loser. Now, just as quickly, let me clarify that I have no overriding proclivity to be a loser in life generally. I like winning. I may like indulging shame from time to time, but I like pride moreso. In short, I don't terribly fear any way the experiences known to man, perhaps excepting physical bodily torture. Still, acquiescence is a tool and not necessarily a goal.
"You can check out anytime you like but you can never leave" LAUGH