08-20-2014, 12:00 AM
Xlyer wrote:I agree detachment is key. Its the ends to your means that irks me a bit. ENDS to my MEANS? Please expand.
Im all for shame and feeling like a iron fortress of self.(For me anyway) Phenomenologically shame is the awareness of singularity--YOU cannot belong to a plurality. No one can. Now that is the thing about shame. It has such a dominating physiological presence in many people. SHAME takes over when you let it--and I am asking you to risk doing that 'willingly or/and objectively for the very purpose of DESTROYING THAT FORTRESS. THIS IS ABOUT DEEP SELF-TRUST. If you don't want that relationship with yourself (trust) what is there to make you whole and authentic?
We all burn, and yet its the fact that a feeling you say leads to a lack of feeling. THIS is the irony, the emptiness by and large destroys meaning and selfhood, but you CAN NEVER FEEL more deeply YOURSELF.
I don't go out of my way to NOT feel-----OMG THAT IS WHERE IT'S AT. I feel more pain, more coming out of my skin, MORE MORE MORE. AND it TASTES DELICIOUS, even the ****.
That I 'feel' is the problem.
Im so full of shame you could probably relate. Xlyer, I had the fortune of two natural 'teachers' in my life. I want you to understand this immediately. If something I say does not reflect a truth you understand yourself empirically in heart, reason, and feeling I want you to say so IMMEDIATELY, so I can clarify. At any point this is not the case you are to RUN the other direction until you do understand. It is real I can't tell you something that is not true, but that doesn't mean it connects. THERE CAN BE NO GAPS. I trust something about your sincerity. Just be honest as I always will be. Can I relate to shame ? I don't know whether to laugh or cry---I am managing to do both at the same time!
IF--- You are not going to go into this because of an experience or its shame, You are not going to go into this in spite of an experience or its shame. YOU are going to into this WITH the experience and its shame (Please Think about that)
But think. Would you feel shame if pride wasnt an issue in the first place? In my book SHAME OMG DELICIOUS I mention about the possibility of authenticity through pride. BUT FORGET THAT. The connection of the two are existential fact. Pride and ALL of its gestures are inherited through our dominant ape ancestors. One dominant controlled about ten males and ten females. The dominant apes accounted for more than 80% of successful matings. Many submissives would never copulate with a female an entire lifetime in spite of GREAT ATTRACTION and AROUSAL... TALK about shame being connected to pride, AND HOW! But, that is the point. Hereditarily most humans have a strong disposition of shame. Shame was atool in natural selection that told an organism not to be too avid--to withdraw. Psychology screwed up the meaning of shame and made it a societal thing. I will reteach you how to use the shame capacity in self beneficence, as it was meant for. To answer your point directly, I don't think I am the one in twenty male/female dominant alpha male. I can get over that quite easily as a fact of life.
I want to feel all of my emotions, and I am particularly fond of feeling my shame, because of the stupendous benefits--which, if you want to start on that journey, I will gladly share. I expect if you do, that you keep full autonomy. I don't make ties, but while we communicate I will tell the truth.
Im all for shame and feeling like a iron fortress of self.(For me anyway) Phenomenologically shame is the awareness of singularity--YOU cannot belong to a plurality. No one can. Now that is the thing about shame. It has such a dominating physiological presence in many people. SHAME takes over when you let it--and I am asking you to risk doing that 'willingly or/and objectively for the very purpose of DESTROYING THAT FORTRESS. THIS IS ABOUT DEEP SELF-TRUST. If you don't want that relationship with yourself (trust) what is there to make you whole and authentic?
We all burn, and yet its the fact that a feeling you say leads to a lack of feeling. THIS is the irony, the emptiness by and large destroys meaning and selfhood, but you CAN NEVER FEEL more deeply YOURSELF.
I don't go out of my way to NOT feel-----OMG THAT IS WHERE IT'S AT. I feel more pain, more coming out of my skin, MORE MORE MORE. AND it TASTES DELICIOUS, even the ****.
That I 'feel' is the problem.
Im so full of shame you could probably relate. Xlyer, I had the fortune of two natural 'teachers' in my life. I want you to understand this immediately. If something I say does not reflect a truth you understand yourself empirically in heart, reason, and feeling I want you to say so IMMEDIATELY, so I can clarify. At any point this is not the case you are to RUN the other direction until you do understand. It is real I can't tell you something that is not true, but that doesn't mean it connects. THERE CAN BE NO GAPS. I trust something about your sincerity. Just be honest as I always will be. Can I relate to shame ? I don't know whether to laugh or cry---I am managing to do both at the same time!
IF--- You are not going to go into this because of an experience or its shame, You are not going to go into this in spite of an experience or its shame. YOU are going to into this WITH the experience and its shame (Please Think about that)
But think. Would you feel shame if pride wasnt an issue in the first place? In my book SHAME OMG DELICIOUS I mention about the possibility of authenticity through pride. BUT FORGET THAT. The connection of the two are existential fact. Pride and ALL of its gestures are inherited through our dominant ape ancestors. One dominant controlled about ten males and ten females. The dominant apes accounted for more than 80% of successful matings. Many submissives would never copulate with a female an entire lifetime in spite of GREAT ATTRACTION and AROUSAL... TALK about shame being connected to pride, AND HOW! But, that is the point. Hereditarily most humans have a strong disposition of shame. Shame was atool in natural selection that told an organism not to be too avid--to withdraw. Psychology screwed up the meaning of shame and made it a societal thing. I will reteach you how to use the shame capacity in self beneficence, as it was meant for. To answer your point directly, I don't think I am the one in twenty male/female dominant alpha male. I can get over that quite easily as a fact of life.
I want to feel all of my emotions, and I am particularly fond of feeling my shame, because of the stupendous benefits--which, if you want to start on that journey, I will gladly share. I expect if you do, that you keep full autonomy. I don't make ties, but while we communicate I will tell the truth.