12-13-2015, 12:00 AM
Distinguishing detachment now from earlier on (say even a year ago), I do not have connection to objective reality (manifestation) as much as to my sense of existential 'quandry.' The tensions or energies of angst are different. The very second they arise, they are become cumulative energy to some degree. I would describe this transfer of energy as neutral (certainly not negative). I do not desire a union with manifestation for sure; yet, ALL (spiritually, bodily, maritally, socially, etc.) is manifesting advantageously. This is more than okay, but I am being moved over the top concerning the energetic body/aura. The GRACE of energy inward is sometimes awesome really. I think I came very close to seeing my energy body last night. Whatever happened, it was new and amazingly exciting.
Still truthfully, I have this desire to fall off of world perception into an oblivion for the perfected act of negation. What is beautiful here.. this is the truth.
The world and controlled folly is more and more become an unthreatening PLAYGROUND. I can USE it, make it my platform to plunge into the abyss of desired negation. I want that as a consumate craving, and I DO TRUST myself to negate as such. I don't know if whatever consequence matters, or/and if that it be sublime awareness or literal (or spiritual) annihilation.
Still truthfully, I have this desire to fall off of world perception into an oblivion for the perfected act of negation. What is beautiful here.. this is the truth.
The world and controlled folly is more and more become an unthreatening PLAYGROUND. I can USE it, make it my platform to plunge into the abyss of desired negation. I want that as a consumate craving, and I DO TRUST myself to negate as such. I don't know if whatever consequence matters, or/and if that it be sublime awareness or literal (or spiritual) annihilation.