12-17-2015, 12:00 AM
Prior quote: "It is not possible for me to deflect this energy {energy overload} into worldly objects." (I said I wasn't sure of the working principle) I have the idea as to how this works now..
It is not at all incongruous to bring virtually all energy in, and yet embark on projecting 'out' to the world as I have never done dynamically before. My projections out are not differentiated from the general detachment from world emanations and connected reflections and emotions. I am a person in control (as much as I choose in controlled folly), but why bother projecting out is the question?
I also more clearly understand the need for choosing a structure of work and 'discipline' (avocation/vocation) in the tonal. As I have become empty of 'meaningful' (they never were) relationships with what exists beside me, and such illusion becomes clearer, I have gutted the aura of energy from it > akin to the feel of The Stranger (Albert Camus). It is not futility at play here, but a perception of weakness in the field of beingness, ESPECIALLY as it relates to 'out there.'
Am I too existential here?
Anyway, as billy of emptiness (emptiness of billy?) consumes energy, the emptiness wins every time. The impotence of energy itself is manifest to billy, but there are no outs in the existential equation. Thus, the fruitless exercise of work and discipline in the tonal (projection outward) is only to elaborate empty existential mechanics. As one is irretrievably lost, as I certainly am, the echoes of hollowed self in black emptiness is by definition AWARENESS. SEE, life is not grand!
That my awareness may or may not have created an illusion of otherness, is not relevant (yet). All I know now is my aloneness. Isn't that SAD? {Laughing sadly, happily.}
I have no idea as to why emptiness would become not emptiness other than the prurience. So, long story short, the energy stays put in empty billy, and the illusary projected objective of the world is to imaginarily get fucked, so billy can actualize his meaninglessness and become AWARE as an object in the vast dark emptiness that is called existence.
It is not at all incongruous to bring virtually all energy in, and yet embark on projecting 'out' to the world as I have never done dynamically before. My projections out are not differentiated from the general detachment from world emanations and connected reflections and emotions. I am a person in control (as much as I choose in controlled folly), but why bother projecting out is the question?
I also more clearly understand the need for choosing a structure of work and 'discipline' (avocation/vocation) in the tonal. As I have become empty of 'meaningful' (they never were) relationships with what exists beside me, and such illusion becomes clearer, I have gutted the aura of energy from it > akin to the feel of The Stranger (Albert Camus). It is not futility at play here, but a perception of weakness in the field of beingness, ESPECIALLY as it relates to 'out there.'
Am I too existential here?
Anyway, as billy of emptiness (emptiness of billy?) consumes energy, the emptiness wins every time. The impotence of energy itself is manifest to billy, but there are no outs in the existential equation. Thus, the fruitless exercise of work and discipline in the tonal (projection outward) is only to elaborate empty existential mechanics. As one is irretrievably lost, as I certainly am, the echoes of hollowed self in black emptiness is by definition AWARENESS. SEE, life is not grand!
That my awareness may or may not have created an illusion of otherness, is not relevant (yet). All I know now is my aloneness. Isn't that SAD? {Laughing sadly, happily.}
I have no idea as to why emptiness would become not emptiness other than the prurience. So, long story short, the energy stays put in empty billy, and the illusary projected objective of the world is to imaginarily get fucked, so billy can actualize his meaninglessness and become AWARE as an object in the vast dark emptiness that is called existence.