12-28-2015, 12:00 AM
"Can is perfect, can't is flawed." Think about this duality in this moment of existence. The negative here is is acknowledged.
My life has been characterized by the unusual circumstance of having proximal negative and positive experience throughout.
In childhood I participated with good esteem in family and broad neighborhood kinship. At Catholic elementary school I was mercilessly, relentlessly denigrated for eight years. I was subjected to two completely opposite experiences.
What I tried to explain in writing was how someone with a consistently negative atmosphere withdraws and becomes relatively oblivious to the light of normalcy. I was almost always in a life situation where my very worst was seen in glaring contrast to my adjacent world. In other words, the pain could not be repressed (which is probably a good thing). My pain was magnified, and the the fear of the negative intersecting the positive caused petrifying adrenal episodes.
My entire life has followed the same pattern having adjacent extremes in all facets of failing and succeeding.
I am lucky to have a very clear picture, especially as I learn detachment. I had a point here. Hmm. Can't remember.
Oh yeah. "Can is perfect, can't is flawed." There is no reason for recapitulation if not for the flaws, failure and inadequacy. Regardless, I discovered more joyous richness in the flaws, failure, and inadequacy than in adequacy and success. That's just me; perhaps, it's because I am rooted in being conditioned so.
Anyway, as detachment got profiicient I found I could really get off on the not so positive. HOWEVER, I could afford to indulge negative states because I learned solid tonal grounding, and have put everything there in perfect order. I mean really, there is nothing to significantly modify. {too, things are manifest positively with no effort}
What I have learned about objectifying and going into (doing) negative emotions, states, and manifestations is that it makes me feel unafraid.
I really do want to bring it s., but I have a proclivity to express a prurient and perverse existential view. Not that this predominates my wholeness, just that it would be fun for me to tell you what I really think when I go into the exquisite 'deplorable' self-negation mode. My love for this part of me is very, very deep. {I pay attention; much of this is as tactic and ploy; a great medium}
What balance. You create.. I negate (lol) I'm am obviously become willingly indifferent more and more as my way. Opens all possibilities.
If I ever expounded on negation, I would have to write a hundred posts beginning with phenomenolgy and evolution {sex}. I would likely be banned before I was finished.
My life has been characterized by the unusual circumstance of having proximal negative and positive experience throughout.
In childhood I participated with good esteem in family and broad neighborhood kinship. At Catholic elementary school I was mercilessly, relentlessly denigrated for eight years. I was subjected to two completely opposite experiences.
What I tried to explain in writing was how someone with a consistently negative atmosphere withdraws and becomes relatively oblivious to the light of normalcy. I was almost always in a life situation where my very worst was seen in glaring contrast to my adjacent world. In other words, the pain could not be repressed (which is probably a good thing). My pain was magnified, and the the fear of the negative intersecting the positive caused petrifying adrenal episodes.
My entire life has followed the same pattern having adjacent extremes in all facets of failing and succeeding.
I am lucky to have a very clear picture, especially as I learn detachment. I had a point here. Hmm. Can't remember.
Oh yeah. "Can is perfect, can't is flawed." There is no reason for recapitulation if not for the flaws, failure and inadequacy. Regardless, I discovered more joyous richness in the flaws, failure, and inadequacy than in adequacy and success. That's just me; perhaps, it's because I am rooted in being conditioned so.
Anyway, as detachment got profiicient I found I could really get off on the not so positive. HOWEVER, I could afford to indulge negative states because I learned solid tonal grounding, and have put everything there in perfect order. I mean really, there is nothing to significantly modify. {too, things are manifest positively with no effort}
What I have learned about objectifying and going into (doing) negative emotions, states, and manifestations is that it makes me feel unafraid.
I really do want to bring it s., but I have a proclivity to express a prurient and perverse existential view. Not that this predominates my wholeness, just that it would be fun for me to tell you what I really think when I go into the exquisite 'deplorable' self-negation mode. My love for this part of me is very, very deep. {I pay attention; much of this is as tactic and ploy; a great medium}
What balance. You create.. I negate (lol) I'm am obviously become willingly indifferent more and more as my way. Opens all possibilities.
If I ever expounded on negation, I would have to write a hundred posts beginning with phenomenolgy and evolution {sex}. I would likely be banned before I was finished.