01-05-2016, 12:00 AM
I had moved off that 'NO' experience the day before yesterday easily, especially given I got extra good sleep. I had nice sex yesterday with my wife, but felt a slightly uncomfortable hurry most of the day. TV made me edgy too.. Middle East in shambles; a teenager throws a dog off a cliff into a river, and the dog manages to survive and get back to point of origin, only to be thrown back over the cliff again fatally. The boy is only charged with two misdemeanors. A college basketball game between the 1st and 2nd ranked team goes into three overtimes. I watch parts of a program with heroin addicts telling their story. I have a sense of needing to be wary to have an even keel, and not get too high (or too low). I keep writing because I think I am saying something.
I read a few things I've written and I think I am arrogant. Controlled folly is full of newness, and today had an edge to it. I have no interest in fixing any world problems, or anything. I only want to tend to what is immediately in my narrow sight. I am feeling a rash of stronger feelings though. I will erase this ****, but I actually believe if someone see this, it might give comfort if they have a similar experience.
Too, I probably am talking to myself except it does not feel like that. Actually, it does not feel like anything I have known. I am fluid and open. I can get rather easily deep into the primal existential 'ooze.' That is nice (nice? smile). It is very sensual; I feel fantastic as I am writing now and the primal sensations rise up. (must write a book-smile)
No one is here anymore, and I wondered if I rather like writing without observers more than with them. DON'T ya know how alone feels soooo wicked {pure} ?
You're spoiling my fun by my perceiving I am talking to someone- lol.
I read a few things I've written and I think I am arrogant. Controlled folly is full of newness, and today had an edge to it. I have no interest in fixing any world problems, or anything. I only want to tend to what is immediately in my narrow sight. I am feeling a rash of stronger feelings though. I will erase this ****, but I actually believe if someone see this, it might give comfort if they have a similar experience.
Too, I probably am talking to myself except it does not feel like that. Actually, it does not feel like anything I have known. I am fluid and open. I can get rather easily deep into the primal existential 'ooze.' That is nice (nice? smile). It is very sensual; I feel fantastic as I am writing now and the primal sensations rise up. (must write a book-smile)
No one is here anymore, and I wondered if I rather like writing without observers more than with them. DON'T ya know how alone feels soooo wicked {pure} ?
You're spoiling my fun by my perceiving I am talking to someone- lol.