01-29-2015, 12:00 AM
Make no mistake, I put any childhood shame aside. I was well-liked by my peers in college. I was the alpha to get my wife. I had a huge influence on ALL of my older sibling's sons, my wife's brother and many others. I coached a tough, poverty stricken, all black wrestling team to a championship when they had never known winning. I NEVER played the wimp. Now my marital manifestations were different; yet even in my book I stated, "Susan was a little girl to me," ---I held the balance power in the marriage (which of course was/is true). I liked being a bottom to my wife a whole lot, and now I am fully in control whatever the disposition.
So all I'm saying is, "I learned in recapitulation that my boyhood shame could be tapped for incredible power/energy." I don't find fault with myself that I was personally secure enough to explore that.
Just the opposite. And it is true you know that I am sharp now and invulnerable in large part from what I learned there.
No Derekh, get the idea out of your head I am (or have been) weak (relative to a standard). Consider the weakness you perceived as a combo of my unwitting posturing or/and temporary form.
So all I'm saying is, "I learned in recapitulation that my boyhood shame could be tapped for incredible power/energy." I don't find fault with myself that I was personally secure enough to explore that.
Just the opposite. And it is true you know that I am sharp now and invulnerable in large part from what I learned there.
No Derekh, get the idea out of your head I am (or have been) weak (relative to a standard). Consider the weakness you perceived as a combo of my unwitting posturing or/and temporary form.