04-26-2005, 12:00 AM
I am not sure if we are understanding eachother. Let me back track on the fast forward. For years, years, I have attracted younger girls to me that either try and emulate me or become obsessed, for lack of a better term, with getting my attention and acceptance. After hanging out with them for the day or the weekend, or even a phone call, I would be physically drained and or my emotions wrecked from working with their issues. At one point in time I had a handful of girls that were up my ass. My other friends, mostly guys, joked and teased me calling them the "Bridgette Cult" or "Bridgette's Clones". That is how apparent it was.
At this point I had realized the situation was out of hand for what I was willing to deal with and I started placing sheilds up. I am fully aware that this takes energy, I am also fully aware that this blocks other good things to connect to me. But I became so good at this, unaware as I was, that I do not have to consciously place sheilds up anymore. So my question is not about them being up, but about breaking them down. Which I have been working on.
During this time I also was breaking away from a coven I was in, I had breifly had a fling with one of the guys in the coven and he started stalking me when I broke that off and quit the coven a few weeks later. In the meantime he started one of those infamous "witch wars" with me to my disbelief with some of the other members. I guess that ended alright because I aprantely made a flock of birds of all species dive bomb him through out the day, or so he has told everyone. *chuckles* (I still get amused with that one)
I ended up detaching myself from all these unwanted elements in my life. And belief me, when I was detaching they were causing all sorts of drama and throwing fits about some insane thing here and there. It was a long "battle" in a sense to break away from all that. So far it has been good and my life far less complicated and less stressful. Unfortunetly all those unwanted people from my past were showing up in a few week period not too long back and it was getting me down. I fought so hard to break away yet they try to resurface. I guess the Raid was not working as effective. Heh.
In the meantime I had the one friend telling me she was trying to enter my house dreamtime. Now I don't know about you guys, but I am very against people trying to barge into my house without my knowledge just to be nosey. That is almost as bad as someone sneaking into your house to snoop around while you are at work in the waking world. It's just not polite or considerate. But since she cannot get in that works for me.
Now Mamalama you saying "learning to become fluid, invisible and unreal leaves both hands free and makes you a more difficult target." That to me looks like you are saying, "Staying away and unsocial will keep the unwanted energy of others away from you so that you cannot be a target." Please re-explain your meaning because I think I am not getting your point.
But with the way I have understood it, I have a very private life, and a very social life. I love the books and the ways of the sorcerers, but I do not feel that I should live a life that is completely shut away from the rest of the world because these books promote that in a small sense. I think that you can interact in the world just as in the books without alienating yourself from society. But once again, I feel like I misunderstood your meaning.
At this point I had realized the situation was out of hand for what I was willing to deal with and I started placing sheilds up. I am fully aware that this takes energy, I am also fully aware that this blocks other good things to connect to me. But I became so good at this, unaware as I was, that I do not have to consciously place sheilds up anymore. So my question is not about them being up, but about breaking them down. Which I have been working on.
During this time I also was breaking away from a coven I was in, I had breifly had a fling with one of the guys in the coven and he started stalking me when I broke that off and quit the coven a few weeks later. In the meantime he started one of those infamous "witch wars" with me to my disbelief with some of the other members. I guess that ended alright because I aprantely made a flock of birds of all species dive bomb him through out the day, or so he has told everyone. *chuckles* (I still get amused with that one)
I ended up detaching myself from all these unwanted elements in my life. And belief me, when I was detaching they were causing all sorts of drama and throwing fits about some insane thing here and there. It was a long "battle" in a sense to break away from all that. So far it has been good and my life far less complicated and less stressful. Unfortunetly all those unwanted people from my past were showing up in a few week period not too long back and it was getting me down. I fought so hard to break away yet they try to resurface. I guess the Raid was not working as effective. Heh.
In the meantime I had the one friend telling me she was trying to enter my house dreamtime. Now I don't know about you guys, but I am very against people trying to barge into my house without my knowledge just to be nosey. That is almost as bad as someone sneaking into your house to snoop around while you are at work in the waking world. It's just not polite or considerate. But since she cannot get in that works for me.
Now Mamalama you saying "learning to become fluid, invisible and unreal leaves both hands free and makes you a more difficult target." That to me looks like you are saying, "Staying away and unsocial will keep the unwanted energy of others away from you so that you cannot be a target." Please re-explain your meaning because I think I am not getting your point.
But with the way I have understood it, I have a very private life, and a very social life. I love the books and the ways of the sorcerers, but I do not feel that I should live a life that is completely shut away from the rest of the world because these books promote that in a small sense. I think that you can interact in the world just as in the books without alienating yourself from society. But once again, I feel like I misunderstood your meaning.