11-23-2013, 12:00 AM
Update***
Well I decided to go to a diner today in search of pancakes and french toast. I went in and One of the staff said Hi and asked how I was. For some reason I replied much in her tone and said Hi back, This is when I think it began. When I took my coat off to sit down I saw one of them making a face at me for how I replied. I was sitting there in the booth and I felt so at ease so content, I had the idea of walking up and saying its pretty lonely over here mind if I take a seat at the bar. The Elder one was clearing a table near me so I said it to her. She said. "we are not allowed to talk, were working" In quite a rude way and I felt a little bit of apprehension set in and slight fear. ( a little bit of trembling ) One of the other ones said you can sit where ever you want. So I moved over. I sat down and it got worse. I couldnt really concentrate or think about what i was doing. Its like I got hit with an emp or something. I thought that these flyers were out of control. I managed to get a few statements out but I sounded nervous. I ended up stating my intent telling them I was trying to act without self importance and they lightened up and one of them even started a dialogue with me. And she said it takes "balls" to do what I did. Regardless, it felt like I definitely broke out of whatever social contract was in place, and I was moving outside of it. Although I heard a lot of synchronistic language from them after i sat down. A few key things like I punch kids in the face, and the word crazy came up a few times. and ofcourse the trembling. Is the trembling sham fear from my flyers mind? I mean my heart wasnt racing or anything.
I dunno what I was doing really, I had no real intent maybe thats the problem.
Well I decided to go to a diner today in search of pancakes and french toast. I went in and One of the staff said Hi and asked how I was. For some reason I replied much in her tone and said Hi back, This is when I think it began. When I took my coat off to sit down I saw one of them making a face at me for how I replied. I was sitting there in the booth and I felt so at ease so content, I had the idea of walking up and saying its pretty lonely over here mind if I take a seat at the bar. The Elder one was clearing a table near me so I said it to her. She said. "we are not allowed to talk, were working" In quite a rude way and I felt a little bit of apprehension set in and slight fear. ( a little bit of trembling ) One of the other ones said you can sit where ever you want. So I moved over. I sat down and it got worse. I couldnt really concentrate or think about what i was doing. Its like I got hit with an emp or something. I thought that these flyers were out of control. I managed to get a few statements out but I sounded nervous. I ended up stating my intent telling them I was trying to act without self importance and they lightened up and one of them even started a dialogue with me. And she said it takes "balls" to do what I did. Regardless, it felt like I definitely broke out of whatever social contract was in place, and I was moving outside of it. Although I heard a lot of synchronistic language from them after i sat down. A few key things like I punch kids in the face, and the word crazy came up a few times. and ofcourse the trembling. Is the trembling sham fear from my flyers mind? I mean my heart wasnt racing or anything.
I dunno what I was doing really, I had no real intent maybe thats the problem.