07-28-2011, 12:00 AM
seesaw wrote:Ok i can read between the lines and excuse me if i am repeating ideas but imagine experimenting with a personality that was fixed inflexible rude and intentionally insulting.
The thing is I truly did need some help before to be able to be rude and insulting. Erm might still need some. Or to express myself without caring about whatever others. Have made some progress on that front, still wish to push that boundary a bit further. But one thing is being able to do it and another is doing it as a default. My take on things is that one should be able to chose the mode, so to speak. I wished to be able to chose that mode consciously not just when the situation invariably demanded it (meaning I really had no other viable option and shifted there because of that) . Now that I can influence it more, it is as close as another AP position, there might be no need to play with that stuff. When I say I still might want to push the boundary a bit further I am just talking about finding the right margin for my daily life/personality. I remember thinking before that playing an internet persona of a different character might help, but then I somehow got there even without that.
There is a difference in these two ways of getting there. One, the one I took, is coming from within. Here one takes care of whatever it was that was standing in the way of this fluidity. The second one, the internet role playing, is from without/outside - by doing it one learns the position of that AP and how it is/feels thus one is able to be like that, which might or might not dissolve the inner reasons/blockages that were preventing one to be like that before. Generally it might just be an outside role while the inner reasons still block the person to be like that in real life, or in the persona that is his main. Then it really is not much of a win, just a game. Might help get some energy flowing but that is all. Could be helpful for some time and after that it will be just another fixed role.
What do you think?
seesaw wrote:Take all the opposites of what you are now.
Hm, would have to think about that. Not sure I know what opposites would be, but I can sure think of something I am generally not acting like .
heh apart from the rudeness aspect I would not know what the opposites of me are (am hopefully more fluid than that). I would have to put in some nasty stuff, not sure I can. It is one thing to be rude and another to be hateful or full of bile or nervous, not in a good state. I mean what good would that do? Some thing I can do and see as helpful another thing I cannot (unless it is functional in some situation where I truly deem necessary to show it). I could only act as if and that is hollow, would not convince anyone worth their salt. True stalking is shifting to that AP and then it comes with all the stuff. Hm, or is it? As we can be angry without feeling anger - but that is controlled folly. And can we be hateful without feeling hate? I guess it could be done. I would have to create some kind of shifty evil goblin character lol. The thing here would be what would be the reason to spread this kind of stuff around. We already got enough of that on the net.
And an opposite of me would also be someone who does not say much, but putting that into internet reality is quite hard .
seesaw wrote:Imagine doing this with me because i have no idea who you are. I have no personal history tying you to any notions about you. I am quite happy to play this with you if you want to explore. Get into character body positions attitudes moods feelings retorts whatever comes.Hell even get into the zone by developing a new history. Perceptual flexibility is what we are after and some times we need to be utter assholes to find what this really is.
Heh, thnx (truly). Right now I am a bit different than what I was for a few years so I am just examining myself how that plays out for me and also for this site. People here also do not have personal history with me, I have been posting here for a short time. The thing is I wish people to know who I am not who I am not, although knowing what you are not is a big part of who you are . I am sure you know what I mean. What good would it serve to be an arrogant ****? (should work at losing SI not gaining it) What good would in it be for me and for the others? I am quite a practical person, so unless I see some merit in it I am not driven to do stuff like that. I might hold you on that offer though . Should be some fun too.
seesaw wrote:I had another idea about this too. How about acting in real life what we have been in dreams, or have powerfully witnessed in others. Any form of attitude or personality that has singled out to us by the abstract.
The next level of this would get really interesting- taking these new positions out into the real world as acts of perceptual magic. But first things first.
Hm in dreaming I am usually like I am in terms of personality. Just a bit more ruthless and no nonsense, so basically I am moving towards that. So doing what you just speak of here. I find dreaming truly helpful for these kind of changes of self.
nice talking to you
The thing is I truly did need some help before to be able to be rude and insulting. Erm might still need some. Or to express myself without caring about whatever others. Have made some progress on that front, still wish to push that boundary a bit further. But one thing is being able to do it and another is doing it as a default. My take on things is that one should be able to chose the mode, so to speak. I wished to be able to chose that mode consciously not just when the situation invariably demanded it (meaning I really had no other viable option and shifted there because of that) . Now that I can influence it more, it is as close as another AP position, there might be no need to play with that stuff. When I say I still might want to push the boundary a bit further I am just talking about finding the right margin for my daily life/personality. I remember thinking before that playing an internet persona of a different character might help, but then I somehow got there even without that.
There is a difference in these two ways of getting there. One, the one I took, is coming from within. Here one takes care of whatever it was that was standing in the way of this fluidity. The second one, the internet role playing, is from without/outside - by doing it one learns the position of that AP and how it is/feels thus one is able to be like that, which might or might not dissolve the inner reasons/blockages that were preventing one to be like that before. Generally it might just be an outside role while the inner reasons still block the person to be like that in real life, or in the persona that is his main. Then it really is not much of a win, just a game. Might help get some energy flowing but that is all. Could be helpful for some time and after that it will be just another fixed role.
What do you think?
seesaw wrote:Take all the opposites of what you are now.
Hm, would have to think about that. Not sure I know what opposites would be, but I can sure think of something I am generally not acting like .
heh apart from the rudeness aspect I would not know what the opposites of me are (am hopefully more fluid than that). I would have to put in some nasty stuff, not sure I can. It is one thing to be rude and another to be hateful or full of bile or nervous, not in a good state. I mean what good would that do? Some thing I can do and see as helpful another thing I cannot (unless it is functional in some situation where I truly deem necessary to show it). I could only act as if and that is hollow, would not convince anyone worth their salt. True stalking is shifting to that AP and then it comes with all the stuff. Hm, or is it? As we can be angry without feeling anger - but that is controlled folly. And can we be hateful without feeling hate? I guess it could be done. I would have to create some kind of shifty evil goblin character lol. The thing here would be what would be the reason to spread this kind of stuff around. We already got enough of that on the net.
And an opposite of me would also be someone who does not say much, but putting that into internet reality is quite hard .
seesaw wrote:Imagine doing this with me because i have no idea who you are. I have no personal history tying you to any notions about you. I am quite happy to play this with you if you want to explore. Get into character body positions attitudes moods feelings retorts whatever comes.Hell even get into the zone by developing a new history. Perceptual flexibility is what we are after and some times we need to be utter assholes to find what this really is.
Heh, thnx (truly). Right now I am a bit different than what I was for a few years so I am just examining myself how that plays out for me and also for this site. People here also do not have personal history with me, I have been posting here for a short time. The thing is I wish people to know who I am not who I am not, although knowing what you are not is a big part of who you are . I am sure you know what I mean. What good would it serve to be an arrogant ****? (should work at losing SI not gaining it) What good would in it be for me and for the others? I am quite a practical person, so unless I see some merit in it I am not driven to do stuff like that. I might hold you on that offer though . Should be some fun too.
seesaw wrote:I had another idea about this too. How about acting in real life what we have been in dreams, or have powerfully witnessed in others. Any form of attitude or personality that has singled out to us by the abstract.
The next level of this would get really interesting- taking these new positions out into the real world as acts of perceptual magic. But first things first.
Hm in dreaming I am usually like I am in terms of personality. Just a bit more ruthless and no nonsense, so basically I am moving towards that. So doing what you just speak of here. I find dreaming truly helpful for these kind of changes of self.
nice talking to you