12-24-2010, 12:00 AM
Before my previous semi retirement, i was concerned about the 'guardian angels' that we have been led to belive in. I always felt that the inner voice was my guardian, but i was concerned that the state sponsered indoctrination i was forced to take part in as a child was hampering my true feelings. I have never considered myself a light or dark worker, it has always been my belief that the universe is fundamentally grey in alignment. After all good and evil are an individuals perspective. This pursuit of true neutrality made me ask the question of if we have a guardian angel we must therefore have a guardian demon as well.
My spirtual jounreys always led me to the demon, with ease, the angel however was much more elusive. I learned to embrace my demon for guidance. on those tough decisions that require making a moral compromise for example. In the quest for this knowledge my meditations turned away from the astral and ethereal to the internal of my own personal universe. I projected ever inward . at celular level, then DNA into ever decreasing in size parts of my body. I wanted to know where the creator was in me, after a time it became like swimming in treacle, i hit a wall, just when i couldnt fight through anymore i burst through the smallest component of myself and the view was of the universe. It was so big i couldnt comprehend the size. After that time the physical took over, i couldnt study anymore, i suffered with bad health, bankruptcy and had to care for my kids alone.
Back to the OP, you post has resonated something with me, i dont know if i agree or disagree yet it has many layers that i need to consider. If indeed what i thought was my guardians is indeed a parasite, a vampire and is working against me, as i always suspected in a way but was scared to admit it, then everything i do from this point on will revovle around this very topic until i have clarity and more importantly defeated it.
Thankyou for sharing this and showing my a new path, and a new way of considering this very important topic. I eagaerlay await reading the rest of your posts on this.
My spirtual jounreys always led me to the demon, with ease, the angel however was much more elusive. I learned to embrace my demon for guidance. on those tough decisions that require making a moral compromise for example. In the quest for this knowledge my meditations turned away from the astral and ethereal to the internal of my own personal universe. I projected ever inward . at celular level, then DNA into ever decreasing in size parts of my body. I wanted to know where the creator was in me, after a time it became like swimming in treacle, i hit a wall, just when i couldnt fight through anymore i burst through the smallest component of myself and the view was of the universe. It was so big i couldnt comprehend the size. After that time the physical took over, i couldnt study anymore, i suffered with bad health, bankruptcy and had to care for my kids alone.
Back to the OP, you post has resonated something with me, i dont know if i agree or disagree yet it has many layers that i need to consider. If indeed what i thought was my guardians is indeed a parasite, a vampire and is working against me, as i always suspected in a way but was scared to admit it, then everything i do from this point on will revovle around this very topic until i have clarity and more importantly defeated it.
Thankyou for sharing this and showing my a new path, and a new way of considering this very important topic. I eagaerlay await reading the rest of your posts on this.