02-13-2004, 12:00 AM
I have noticed that the Ego (I AM) or FI can be actively feeding vacillating between loud and silent.
For instance, when I decided to talk about how frustrated I am with a professor because he did not rehire me for a job, I referred to his dishonesty for not looking me in the eyes telling me that he felt me to be unreliable, when he deferred to telling me by email. I thought that I was stalking his FI and mine by doing so. In fact I was fortifying my own FI in the act. Who am I to judge, I am?
Today I went to the museum with a girl, and she was speaking constantly talking about likes and dislikes. I bantered but a lot of the time I was silent. I didn't tell her what I like: that I am attracted to herin an undescribable way. Her barage of neuroticism scared me from expressing myself about the only real thing I had to say to her. I ultimately felt drained from our interaction. Was it because she was talking me ear off?
No, it was because I didn't express what my heart was trying to say.
I don't know if the FI works the same way for everyone, but for me it has a vacillating mode of attack.
For instance, when I decided to talk about how frustrated I am with a professor because he did not rehire me for a job, I referred to his dishonesty for not looking me in the eyes telling me that he felt me to be unreliable, when he deferred to telling me by email. I thought that I was stalking his FI and mine by doing so. In fact I was fortifying my own FI in the act. Who am I to judge, I am?
Today I went to the museum with a girl, and she was speaking constantly talking about likes and dislikes. I bantered but a lot of the time I was silent. I didn't tell her what I like: that I am attracted to herin an undescribable way. Her barage of neuroticism scared me from expressing myself about the only real thing I had to say to her. I ultimately felt drained from our interaction. Was it because she was talking me ear off?
No, it was because I didn't express what my heart was trying to say.
I don't know if the FI works the same way for everyone, but for me it has a vacillating mode of attack.