Lujan Matus

[serloco]

LMAO.... I can just see him trying with all of his "tentacle might"!!

[watergaze]

serloco wrote:The word tentacle is like an octopus or squid, some living creature appendage. Intent and will is nothing like that when you see, however if you dream that or put your perception in that form then you would experience it as such. They are best defined as lines that extend from the midsection and these lines, as defiined by Genero can attach onto things, change things and do pretty much anything. I understand how one could define them as tentacles but I do not like it, it brings to mind insects and aliens whereas that is not accurate in my perception. When I see these lines I call them lines.
Gugeyewalker wrote:Except for one thing. Maybe it is just my imagination but hwen I am drifting to sleep in that 'inbetween' state I have a sorta of vision of it coming out and 'grabbing; stuff, as if wrapping itself around objects.

So of course it wouldnt look like an octopus tentacle, however it seems very tentacle-like to me. I also feel what you say about the straight lines too....so...
I also see it as a line. But tentacle makes sense too. And what Gug says about grabbing/attaching to objects that is my experience too, though I did not observe this as I fall asleep. The way I understand and use it in dreaming it helps me to move in awesome ways when it attaches/grabs on to some spots or objects..
I have also called it a rubber band, cause I can jump around, extend far out and then pull myself back, on it and it is very cool hehe

[serloco]

Yes lines are amazing. I have rolled a basketball around on the floor, can curve my shots into the net. When I walk i can pull myself and the concrete closer to myself too. It is like I become shorter and taller, and the concrete moves with me too.. i can walk myself with my attention, pulling the world closer to me as i walk, or run, speeding up the time, and stretching the environment to me, past me, etc. It makes me jump from place to place.

[Absyllyon]

Lately this LM fellow has become less of a point of irritation to me as my energy increases. I can still barely keep my attention on one thing for 10 seconds, but that is enough. The deposits I am making with little efforts means I am forgetting about him, and as he becomes irrelevant I start to feel more free.
It matters not what he has done in his ignorance and self-importance, but what I do with my focus and attention.
This drawing shows a perfect representation of the areas I felt a ripping searing pain in. This shows the middle dantian in its 2 aspects of higher and lower areas of the feeling center (the heart and the lung area)When this center is injured it means ones heart has been broken, part of ones soul has been lost or ones ability to feed the finer energy bodies is compromised. In other words the wings of ones soul are cut off and one plummets back into a mechanical consenses reality - 3rd attention into 2nd attention awareness.
My immediate response to this situation should have been to contain the emerging energy and pull it back into my body, not allowing it to escape or project to where ever it went. Chi energy is transmuted into shen energy here - this feeds the astral body and in time will fully coat it allowing one to retain conscious awareness after death and to have a separate awareness whilst in the body.

[Sacateca]

Absyllyon wrote:It has been 3 years since my nagual was damaged. At that time I was experiencing much synchronicity and clairvoyance; aspects natural to the nagual. I could see things about people that were not usually visible to me. The one defining aspect of this time was a sensation of power around my body, as though some energetic field encased my physical body. This energetic field was growing larger and denser as time went on. It is this field of energy I am calling my nagual, that was damaged. In actual fact the sensation was more a ripping away, as though I was assaulted and flayed to bits; pillaged and brutalised. As time went on the loss of this energy left me with no will to live, life was just some barbaric aberration; a tomb filled with soulless, mechanical life forms.
In a interaction with LM I experienced a piercing and ripping apart of something in my chest and solar plexus. The injustice of this stunned me. How could this man, who can see, not see me. How can he not see the impact and damage the energy of his words had on my nagual. I see he is blind to what happened. How could he not see me when I could see him, know when his life was in danger, when he was withdrawing. For a time there he felt like he was a part of me, sharing as aspect of my life blood and soul. Could he not see this, feel this as I did?
Only recently do I feel the stirrings of this energy as they start to gather. It is still very weak and fragile. It needs to be protected and fortified from any kind of damage. I have to be wide awake now that it is growing again; prepared and armed lest the same thing happens again. I don't particularly expect anything at this stage, but rather later when it is 'ripe for the picking'. Harvest time is a way off, which gives me time to prepare some kind of offering in lieu of my energy.
I have found that what happened as happens with all interactions is that energy was exchanged. I had his energy and he had some of mine, that is why I could sense him, why he felt so familiar. My mistake was been naive like a child instead of taking the stance of a warrior. A bigger mistake was not recapping continually and consistently. It is evident to me now that it is imperative to reclaim ones energy and expel the energy of others to remain sovereign. Not doing so leaves one vulnerable to the vagaries of other peoples intentions.
Perhaps he ejected my energy from him and I experienced this as an assault. As I can only speak of my own experience I can only say that to me he seems blind and I am to blame for what ever expectation I formed of him and what kind of tonal he should have.
At the end of it all I am responsible for what happened, it was my weakness. My tonal is weak and my energy is low, that is why he is my enemy. As my power increases this will change and I will accept him for who he is as I will accept all life.Would you please explain exactly what happened to you. How did your "nagual" get damaged? As for me, I never remember lasting more than a week in Lujan's forum. He is indulging in being a master.
I am always ready to change directions in proverbial midstream and openly admit when I am wrong.
I'm not looking for followers or trying to sell anything.
I tell it as I see it and the hypocrites don't like that one damned bit!

From what I read of it, online, Lujan's book was filled with lots of 'take my word for it' stories
of things that supposedly happened to him in the second-attention. 
I no longer take ANYONE'S word for ANYTHING!!

I test and test and test and am always ready to find I am wrong about ANYTHING I currently believe.
Since I have no followers and DON'T WANT ANY I can afford to be brutal
when it comes to sifting through this fog of delusion that has permeated the realm of the Spirit.
The fog just seems to get thicker and most seem lost in it; with television leading their dull, dumb way!

[Sacateca]

Absyllyon wrote:Lately this LM fellow has become less of a point of irritation to me as my energy increases. I can still barely keep my attention on one thing for 10 seconds, but that is enough. The deposits I am making with little efforts means I am forgetting about him, and as he becomes irrelevant I start to feel more free.
It matters not what he has done in his ignorance and self-importance, but what I do with my focus and attention.
This drawing shows a perfect representation of the areas I felt a ripping searing pain in. This shows the middle dantian in its 2 aspects of higher and lower areas of the feeling center (the heart and the lung area)When this center is injured it means ones heart has been broken, part of ones soul has been lost or ones ability to feed the finer energy bodies is compromised. In other words the wings of ones soul are cut off and one plummets back into a mechanical consenses reality - 3rd attention into 2nd attention awareness.
My immediate response to this situation should have been to contain the emerging energy and pull it back into my body, not allowing it to escape or project to where ever it went. Chi energy is transmuted into shen energy here - this feeds the astral body and in time will fully coat it allowing one to retain conscious awareness after death and to have a separate awareness whilst in the body.

If you can't keep your attention on one thing for more than 10 seconds that means YOUR MIND IS WEAK and you are in desperate need of ruthless meditation
focusing on the things the Spirit has given you that you have reason to be grateful for.
The best the Spirit has to offer is only for the truly grateful and appreciative

No matter how much you may think you know or how strong you feel you are
the Spirit can take you down without breaking a sweat, 
if it doesn't like the way you are living your life

There is no substitute for working towards living a strong, healthy, grateful life!

[Sacateca]

Absyllyon wrote:"What you define is not heart and thus you should not claim it as heart"
I did not define heart or love. I said beware of the sentiment that posses as love.
When practicing coming from the heart and opening the heart I feel overwhelming feelings of gratitude and compassion for everything. What I also felt was an over powering sense of sentiment that would make me just about weep. I felt bonded and deeply in love. I have questioned that and found that what I think of as heart and love is in actual fact sentiment. To open up those energies without sobriety will only bring delusion and bring one into bondage of the originator or the practices.
I am not implying anything for either of you. This is what I work on, what I see.
I could be wrong, but it sounds to me like you still pity yourself and others. Pity is a useless emotion unless it directly leads to acts of compassion.
If it doesn't you 'bleed' for yourself and others and lose precious energy
JUST TO BE MISERABLE!
I'd say pity is indeed the most pathetic of emotions

One must have created impenetrable shields to properly love
always ready to be hurt by whatever it is you may give your love to.
The strong always tend to survive while the weak fade away and perish
Such is the nature of 'reality'

[Absyllyon]

I think I stated here what happened and how I was feeling. Further readings I have done indicate that the nagual cannot be damaged. So instead of using a term I will describe it.
As time went on I was experiencing a growing cohesion around my body. It felt like an energy field. This energy had a density which was increasing. I accept that my mind is weak and that I am prone to much fear of life that drains and weakens my power. Despite this poverty of being, this energy allowed me to feel a very deep connection with life and my fellow man. I felt their pain as a terrible anguish in the chest, yet I was separated from it. I was able to keep objectivity. In short the only explanation I can give for this is that my awareness also resided in another vehicle, namely this energy field. I felt no fear, anxiety at all about anything, which was a tremendous revelation to me. I experienced the sensations of my body but also the stillness and objectivity of this energy body. This energy body made me feel powerful as its focus was pin point; it acted rather than ruminating. If something needed to be done it was done and that was that. It was not partial to my body, it was ruthless in that it did not indulge in anything. It felt tremendous feelings, yet remained unattached.
During that time I felt no pity what-so-ever. Life and people were what they were. Neither did I pity myself. Of course I do now, otherwise I wouldn't have written this thread.
Gugeyewalker wrote:I've heard of this lujan character.

Absyllyon, mind telling me quite literally what your interaction with
him was? And was there some specific thing that caused this ripping of
your energy field etc, or is it just something you would rather not
share here?

It sounds to me that he quite expertly convinced some people to sort of
follow him as a nagual. Quite interesting, at least from a stalking
point of view, even if his intentions were not to get rid of
self-importance (you could call this dark stalking yes...)

I'm just curious what all this chap did to cause such a stir lol. Appealed to the gullible I guess.Well I have met him in person a number of times. He is friendly and all that.
 I
have lost my way and need to be reminded of a few things, such a been
grateful for the lessons. Too own up to my own power and stop giving it
away. As noble as he can come across as, he makes mistakes that have
severe consequences. The mistakes with me cause me to think that he
can't see me. An example of this kind of mistake is of him laying a
spell in stating ; "You never feel anything." As I write this I can feel
the drag of the intent of those words. We were doing some movements
that increase the flow of chi at the time. I was the only one who didn't
feel or see anything. Well the comment just served to show me how even
he can discard someone who doesn't respond to his energy and power, and
to reinforce the social training I grew up with, especially at the hands
of my dad. The difference with Lujan is that he claims to be a Nagual
and a man of knowledge; not only that, but a sage and holding knowledge
no one else has. I believed him and expected to be guided, so those
words had a bigger impact than if someone else had said it, I mean I
would of laughed it off. The truth is that I see and feel many things,
just not so much with him is all. I felt those words and saw his
weakness in them.
I moved on to other teachings that had more
information and gave me more understanding over the next year and my
energy started growing apace. At one point I saw that he was withdrawing
from everyone and made mention of it. He told me not to write such
things. Some how this innocuous comment caused an impacting ripping
sensation in my solar plexus and chest as mentioned in my introduction
-On the hunt. It was immediate and I had no time to maneuver myself to
off set or moderate the intensity of the emotional charge. Obviously it
my own emotional charge that did the damage, yet I blame him for been
the catalyst. This energy field was very 'young' and delicate. I felt
that as a seer he should know better, that as a man of knowledge he
should intuit the impact of his statements. And as such would see the
ongoing repercussions of the huge loss of energy I experienced. Either
he intended such a result, did not see or he too big a Man to offer me
some sort of understanding of what transpired. The energy is like a
sapling that needs to be protected and nurtured and one day it will
become a huge tree.
I feel betrayed by him for the paltry concern
of what others will think. He was in fact withdrawing. I had thought
twice about mentioning it but felt impelled to do so to help another
person I did not know, who was in much emotional pain. How I knew this I
am not really sure, but I did and it turned out to be so. Not only did i
see him as too concerned with his image, but also as hard hearted.
He
makes big claims yet in my case they have not stacked up. Actually I
feel that he corrals and stagnates awareness, and suppress, or waylays
burgeoning power in another - that is my experience. To understand
things is very important to me and makes a huge difference to what I may
be capable of. I experience suppression of understanding from him.
I
have waited these few years to speak publicly because the venom and
violence I felt towards him for what I thought of at the time, for
pillaging my energy would have caused me to slander him in every way I
could in an attempt to seek justice for his 'crime', and in no way see
that it is I who needs to make my stand.
What I am trying to lay out here is I have to take responsibility for
the full load."

[Absyllyon]

Unfortunately you cannot test and test on his now defunct forum. One must take everything on faith. He paints himself as a messianic being so one is left to just accept his gospel or go away.
If there is one word to describe him it would be - Glamour.

[Sacateca]

Absyllyon wrote:Unfortunately you cannot test and test on his now defunct forum. One must take everything on faith. He paints himself as a messianic being so one is left to just accept his gospel or go away.
If there is one word to describe him it would be - Glamour.
In your other post you said "As time went on...." What do you mean? As time went on doing what exactly?His forum is now "defunct"? Why? What happened to him?

[Genardo Sacateca]

As I read the rest of your response to someone else I got my answer

[Absyllyon]

He doesn't like yuku. So shortly will only have a blog which is filled with glitz, glamour, all things astounding and never ending self promotion.
As time went on I kept up my gazing practices along with exercises of attention and sensing my body periodically during the day. I placed allot of awareness on the chest area when doing sittings (attention exercises) . For me one of the most powerful exercises was to imagine the Divine Mother in her aspect of Kali decapitating me or thrusting a sword through me chest. The imagery was in response to pleading conscious awareness of my low being behaviour. I would do this until I felt the pain of my sin (distorting awareness) and tears flowed with remorse. The taste of her sword became real and I started to feel a gratitude for my life that opened my chest up wide.
I think what I was doing ever increasingly was creating polarity within myself, and this polarity created a kind of energetic tension, and with the tension my energy grew.

[Sacateca]

Gosh, I guess I shouldn't care, but I feel compassion for LujanI also feel compassion for the people who have been energetically hurt because of him
I feel you would probably have been hurt a lot more following Carlos Castaneda
I can 'see' a sort of hopeless energy surrounding the thought of both of them

Both of them missed the proverbial boat. They settled for a path
which should have had a lot more 'heart'

[Sacateca]

Absyllyon wrote:He doesn't like yuku. So shortly will only have a blog which is filled with glitz, glamour, all things astounding and never ending self promotion.
As time went on I kept up my gazing practices along with exercises of attention and sensing my body periodically during the day. I placed allot of awareness on the chest area when doing sittings (attention exercises) . For me one of the most powerful exercises was to imagine the Divine Mother in her aspect of Kali decapitating me or thrusting a sword through me chest. The imagery was in response to pleading conscious awareness of my low being behaviour. I would do this until I felt the pain of my sin (distorting awareness) and tears flowed with remorse. The taste of her sword became real and I started to feel a gratitude for my life that opened my chest up wide.
I think what I was doing ever increasingly was creating polarity within myself, and this polarity created a kind of energetic tension, and with the tension my energy grew.Focusing your meditation on having the source of everything chop you and destroy you??? I strongly doubt Lujan Matus taught you to do that!! The fierceness of Mother Kali is reserved for Her enemies
not for those whom She loves. You should have been focusing on Her love, not Her Wrath against you, for crying out loud!!

Well, I am no great teacher. I still have much to learn. At best I can heal myself. As for others...well...I can offer suggestions
For better or worse, that's about it. I wish you well, but I am no...nagual

[Absyllyon]

*** perpetual narcissists!
No he didn't teach that.
It is precisely her fierceness that will end the lower nature in us, so that the higher can grow. This is one way of nourishing the essence that is us and whose voice cannot be heard above the cacophony of our negative emotions. The me represented is my lower nature, a nature that must be purged. The idea is to dethrone the ego, to make it give up its incessant need to be in control; in the drivers chair, to wait and listen for essence to speak. To feel a heart wrenching remorse. Self importance will never allow such a thing willingly. The pain is quite real as well as is the horror for ones situation.
I don't think I would have been hurt as much because CC never claimed the status of a messiah. In his books he claimed to be the '****'. It is like you say, one must verify all knowledge for oneself. Do not believe in another or what they say, but test and verify it for oneself.
No poblems. thanks for the chat

[Sacateca]

Absyllyon wrote:*** perpetual narcissists!
No he didn't teach that.
It is precisely her fierceness that will end the lower nature in us, so that the higher can grow. This is one way of nourishing the essence that is us and whose voice cannot be heard above the cacophony of our negative emotions. The me represented is my lower nature, a nature that must be purged. The idea is to dethrone the ego, to make it give up its incessant need to be in control; in the drivers chair, to wait and listen for essence to speak. To feel a heart wrenching remorse. Self importance will never allow such a thing willingly. The pain is quite real as well as is the horror for ones situation.
I don't think I would have been hurt as much because CC never claimed the status of a messiah. In his books he claimed to be the '****'. It is like you say, one must verify all knowledge for oneself. Do not believe in another or what they say, but test and verify it for oneself.
No poblems. thanks for the chatI am in concert with Victor Sanchez in that the only things in Castaneda's books that are of true value are those things we can personally verify for ourselves. The rest are, at best, entertaining stories or a matter for debate. I have found that the ego and self-importance along with personal history are temporarily suspended when we stop our internal dialogue. The internal dialogue is the key. The value of power plants can be in their ability to temporarily suspend our internal dialogue. It is at those times that we exist in the moment and in the moment there is no past or future. Through the process we may gain a glimpse of our true natures. However, much of that glimpse will fade like a dream when we finally come down from the power plants. This is why the most important advances a warrior may make must be done in sober consciousness. It is the only way we can 'own' our experiences and have them as tools whenever we may need them.
So, to suspend the internal dialogue, at will, takes much effort, but it is a greater 'path with heart' than envisioning Kali chopping off our heads or running a sword through us. Trying to kill oneself in such a manner will only lead to a miserably dysfunctional life, at best, and death, at worst. You may try to convince us that you were trying to better your life by having Kali chop you apart, but we both know that is not the case. If death is to be worthwhile one must die a noble death; a death with honor. Suicide is not an honorable death and will lead to nowhere worth being. I tried it and was quite fortunate that I was sent back from hell to live again!

[Absyllyon]

I am not interested in winning anyone over. I am convinced that it works through my own experience, and that is a enough for me. The point is that it generates feelings of remorse for the wrong way I have applied myself in life, which is a feeling I would avoid at all costs.Yes, I am not all-together sure that it is the best method either.

[Sacateca]

Absyllyon wrote:I am not interested in winning anyone over. I am convinced that it works through my own experience, and that is a enough for me. The point is that it generates feelings of remorse for the wrong way I have applied myself in life, which is a feeling I would avoid at all costs.Yes, I am not all-together sure that it is the best method either.I believe in focusing on what you want and letting the perceived bad proverbially 'dry' up and fall away on it's own. I don't believe in punishing myself for my perceived 'wrongs', I believe in motivating myself
with the good and wonderful things I choose to do.

[serloco]

Absyllyon wrote:one must verify all knowledge for oneself. Do not believe in another or what they say, but test and verify it for oneself.



No poblems. thanks for the chat
One may learn to recognize truth, to see the essece of reality. Then you may believe in anything you want to believe in, but ultimately you can see for yourself what anything is andd know it.

[serloco]

Sacateca wrote:
=1emthe only things in Castaneda's books that are of true value are those things we can personally verify for ourselves. The rest are, at best, entertaining stories or a matter for debate. 

That line of thinking will keep you in the tonal forever, and misses the true power of stories.. He tells you himself exactly how to learn anything you want to learn, or to verify for yourself in great detail. NOthing is left to guesswork because we can intend the lessons and the for to u through just his reference to the stories. The stories are peices of power that contain a direct connection to the moment being referenced. EVerything is connected, all things, and the nagual of his stories, the part we don't know, can still be intended and beconed to us in our lives. The Ally is everything. Even the stories and tales of power from don Juan's life we never even heard of. The ally knows all and see's all. You can call it the aware element within the emanations themselves, the part that can becoe any thing, and is present in all things. Even now the past is present if you can summon it in this form. You can reconjure moments and experiences themselves just by intending them into your story. The Ally will teach you how to do anything you want to learn or see, including the exact psitions of awareness from don Juan Matus' lineage.

[Genardo Sacateca]

Many claim CC lied whenever he felt like lyingWhy should you blindly believe ANYTHING CC wrote?

[Sacateca]

Many claim CC lied whenever he felt like lying
Why should you blindly believe ANYTHING CC wrote?

[lightsoul]

The hardest thing in the world
is for a warrior to let others be. The impeccability of a warrior is
to let them be and to support them in what they are. That means, of
course, that you trust them to be impeccable warriors themselves. If
they are not then it's your duty to be impeccable yourself and not
say a word. Only a sorcerer who sees and is formless can
afford to help anyone. Every effort to help on our part is an
arbitrary act guided by our own self-interest alone."

[Genardo Sacateca]

lightsoul wrote:The hardest thing in the world
is for a warrior to let others be. The impeccability of a warrior is
to let them be and to support them in what they are. That means, of
course, that you trust them to be impeccable warriors themselves. If
they are not then it's your duty to be impeccable yourself and not
say a word. Only a sorcerer who sees and is formless can
afford to help anyone. Every effort to help on our part is an
arbitrary act guided by our own self-interest alone."Yes indeed. Just another wasted effort to help. Sooner or later I will stop trying

[Sacateca]

lightsoul wrote:The hardest thing in the world is for a warrior to let others be. The impeccability of a warrior is to let them be and to support them in what they are. That means, of course, that you trust them to be impeccable warriors themselves. If they are not then it's your duty to be impeccable yourself and not say a word. Only a sorcerer who sees and is formless can afford to help anyone. Every effort to help on our part is an arbitrary act guided by our own self-interest alone."Yes indeed. Just another wasted effort to help. Sooner or later I will stop trying