Lujan Matus

[Sacateca]

Absyllyon wrote:I get that, understand that. Yes, the ego is needed in its form as a tamed 'horse'. Don't misunderstand me; I am not trying to kill myself or that which is good in me. I am generating gratitude.The ID cannot be silenced. Some awareness must reside in another vehicle to be silent.
Anyway we will go on disagreeing about these things.You know you need help, but you seem to feel the only way you can possibly be helped is to continue living the way you have been living and doing what you always do

HEY, THAT'S NOT WORKING!!!!

Time to travel on a better path!

Don Juan sorcery got you into this mess

DON JUAN SORCERY WILL NOT GET YOU OUT OF IT!!!

[Sacateca]

Absyllyon wrote:I get that, understand that. Yes, the ego is needed in its form as a tamed 'horse'. Don't misunderstand me; I am not trying to kill myself or that which is good in me. I am generating gratitude.The ID cannot be silenced. Some awareness must reside in another vehicle to be silent.
Anyway we will go on disagreeing about these things.It takes ruthless determination to silence your internal dialogue Success in this venture is not for those who easily give up!!
You have to want to silence your internal dialogue with unbending intent!!
This is not an endeavor you can afford to give up on
You have a weak mind. It's about time you face up to that fact
and STRENGTHEN IT!!

I can tell you what works for me, but it may not work for you.
If I were you I would search the Internet for all different exercises
for silencing the internal dialogue. Choose the method that works best for you

What works best for me involves music with vocals
I play the song in my mind then envision a pause button.
As I pause the song I automatically give full attention
to my breathing. Calmly breathing in and out.

Start with a split second of silence, if that's all you can handle
and work your way up. The goal is to silence whatever thoughts
that are keeping you from reaching your full potential
then shift to thoughts that empower you to greatness in life

You need to find hobbies that occupy your time constructively.
Everyone has greatness within them. It's a matter of encouraging
and developing that greatness.

It must be noted that it is not natural to sustain inner silence for too long.
You should remember how, at certain points. CC desperately needed
to start up his internal dialogue again.

The goal is to stop any unwanted thought that is not useful in your life.
Sooner or later those thoughts will stop coming back
as you continually put them in their place by stopping them

Make it a constructive habit to always silence thoughts that weaken you.
Encourage thoughts that make you feel strong and positively productive.
You might as well face the fact that it will take you the rest of your life
to fix the mess you have made of your life.
That's just the way it is. The sooner you accept this the better for you

[Sacateca]

IT IS IMPERATIVETHAT YOU TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR LIFE!

AS LONG AS YOUR PROBLEMS ARE SOMEONE ELSE'S FAULT
YOU WILL ALWAYS BE A VICTIM!

FORGIVE EVERYONE THEIR SHORTCOMINGS
SO THAT YOU CAN FORGIVE YOURSELF YOUR SHORTCOMINGS

UNLESS YOU DO THIS YOU WILL ALWAYS FIND A WAY
TO SABOTAGE ANY WORTHWHILE ENDEAVOR

IF YOU DON'T FORGIVE OTHERS
YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO FORGIVE YOURSELF

That's just the way it is!

[Genardo Sacateca]

The solutions for you are a true medicine of the Spirit.Like it or not, medicine does NOT always taste good.
Sure you're going to have uncomfortable reactions
to changing to a more wholesome path in life.

Fixing the mess YOU have made of your life
will take the rest of your life, period!!
It's no one else's fault. YOU made the choices
that have led you to where you now are!

Don Juan sorcery got you into this mess
Don Juan sorcery will NOT get you out of it!

[Absyllyon]

[bit shiny]

the "Warrior" turns the tide

if standing on the edge the stalker / dreamer

reaches across to themselves on the spark of awareness

sarcasm might seem like a handy option to patch up before you have arrived upon the awareness

and the power you are chasing your not really holding

so if your stalking / dreaming correctly your words

wont hold any punch for anyone besides your self

perceived safety of herds

it should'nt matter

boasting and pumping selves up

riding the spark that illuminates the water

so when the tide turns youll ride the wave besides your self

the tide won't in that case be looking backwards

you will have caught up and have to communicate as it were truthfully

in that case the warrior has succeded in stalking themself successfully

and the latter becomes redundant

no superiority

humility

the illuminated water will shift from what was known

there is no need to project the time yet growth will occur upon it

[Absyllyon]

"the "Warrior"turns the tide" with the smallest amount of attention applied.

[Sacateca]

Well, I've done my best and, of course, it was not adequate. Oh well....A warrior gives his best knowing full well that only The Spirit
can make his best adequate enough to truly succeed.

However, knowing his perpetual inadequacy, the true warrior
refuses to give up on his dream and eventually,
if diligent and relentless with his unbending Intent
he is successful FOR HIMSELF.

As for being successful for others...
that is truly none of his business for
everyone has the right to be miserable if they choose.
It is not the business of a warrior to give people solutions...
they don't truly want

[bit shiny]

no need to say whether you effort has been successful or not

or who is in pain or healing / healed

[Sacateca]

No need to post here at all.

[Absyllyon]

You reach too far beyond yourself Sacatea. Who is to say that you have not been helpful. Do you mind terribly if I just mull over some of your suggestions?
Instead of trying to force feed me your truths, allow them to settle; some may bear fruit, obviously others won't.

[Sacateca]

Absyllyon wrote:You reach too far beyond yourself Sacatea. Who is to say that you have not been helpful. Do you mind terribly if I just mull over some of your suggestions?
Instead of trying to force feed me your truths, allow them to settle; some may bear fruit, obviously others won't.
I'm so used to ingratitude from people I expect it After all, you made NO GESTURE OF GRATITUDE WHATSOEVER
for my efforts on your behalf

NOT SO MUCH AS A FUCKING IOTA OF GRATITUDE!!

What am I to expect? Typical ingratitude and
just another waste of my time and efforts on behalf of the ungrateful

[Genardo Sacateca]

Absyllyon wrote:You reach too far beyond yourself Sacatea. Who is to say that you have not been helpful. Do you mind terribly if I just mull over some of your suggestions?
Instead of trying to force feed me your truths, allow them to settle; some may bear fruit, obviously others won't.
I'm curious,
Please list the things I wrote that you feel will not bear fruit

Great soil and seeds will bear fruit in the proper climate

If your proverbial soil and climate is corrupted

the seeds will not grow

[Sacateca]

I could be mistaken,but it seems to me that you are determined
to live the way you always have lived
expecting a more wonderful result from your life

This is so typical of those
who secretly want to sabotage their lives

AND THERE ARE MANY SUCH PEOPLE AROUND!!

If you find yourself trying to help such people,
they will do all they possibly can
to make your efforts ineffective

Once you have isolated such a person
the best solution I have found is to casually say
"Go *** yourself!" then turn your back on them
and let them ruin their miserable lives
After all, it is their right to lead miserable lives

AND NONE OF MY GODDAMN BUSINESS!!

[Absyllyon]

Gratitude can only come from essence. The ego demands payment and postures for acknowledgement.
Sacateca wrote:
NOT SO MUCH AS A FUCKING IOTA OF GRATITUDE!!

What am I to expect? Typical ingratitude and
just another waste of my time and efforts on behalf of the ungrateful

  Lujan Matus said:"You never feel anything."The egos little tantrum to let others know that it is very important and that if others cannot see its great value then they are no-good. Ego will turn its' back on those who don't placate it with platitudes.
Often I try to feel what has been said after analyzing it for a short while, especially if some one posts like bit shiny does. With your posts and those of others I get a feeling that I am missing something; as if I am on the other side of a wall and cannot see the garden everyone else can see. That feeling will keep me from sticking to my view of the world in a dogmatic manner.

[Sacateca]

I should have charged you BIG MONEY for my help
People LIKE YOU deserve to pay big money for any help you receive

That way when you make the help ineffective

at least people, like me, have some sort of compensation for our efforts!

[Sacateca]

Wow! Talk about a recapitulation!!!I just remembered how my ex-wife used to love to arguejust to exasperate me and make me angry!
Once I learned her trick, and it took over 10 years to do so,I would say to myself, "Here she goes again"and I would DELIBERATELY calm down, as a strategy,and patiently, calmly and reasonably review the situation.
MAN, WOULD THAT EVER PISS HER OFF!!!!
****!! SHE WOULD GET SO FUCKING ANGRY!!!!It's one of the things that led to our divorce.The other was I realized how she was draining of my vital energiesand controlling me through sex. So, I stopped having sex with her.It took about six-months before she couldn't stand it anymoreand had an affair with some radio disk jockey
That was the last straw that ended our marriage and I left.I have consolation knowing that
I LEFT HER. SHE DIDN'T LEAVE ME!!!
And so I think of you and say:Thanks to don Juan sorcery my second near-death experienceinvolved drinking poison to try to kill myself AFTER I learned of her affair
I was sent to hell for an eternity and then given another chance at life.I learned that all eternity essentially means:
BEYOND ALL MEASURABLE TIME
I was taken out of time then eventuallybrought to the moment when I died to try again.
SUICIDE IS NOT AN OPTION!!!
Unless, of course, you want things to get worse for you
So, apply or find a solution to your miserable life...
or SUFFER!!!

[Sacateca]

I've mastered Hypnotic Anesthesia enough to send a very real message to my subconscious
that emotional pain no longer matters

Because of this I felt no real pain when that memory surfaced.
I did feel anger and a greater determination
to get revenge by become much, much stronger,
but I felt no emotional pain worth mentioning

The mind buries memories too painful to face
and uses precious energy to create a type of  'bubble'
around the memory

The core of the art of recapitulation is to find all those bubbles,
pop them and retrieve that energy
so that we can use it to better our lives through our source.

Those subconscious emotional 'bubbles'
are the very core of the "emotional baggage" people drag through life
and that keep us ineffective as manifestors using Intent as a tool

Once emotional pain no longer matters it become much easier
to 'pop' those 'bubbles' and retrieve that precious energy!

[Absyllyon]

Uspensky said that at the end of an ascending octave we meet
the devil who invariably dislodges us from our assent, which heralds the
beginning of a descending octave. The power of the warrior, his training,
fundamental understanding of esoteric matters and how he has structured his
psychological data will be put through the grinder of life and be flayed by the
winds of spirit.


 


LM is my devil this time round. As a result of empathic
blending and intentionally using words to upset me in such a manner as to destabilize
my partially consolidated power,  my
energy body is dispersed and much energy lost.


 


It has been an extraordinarily difficult task for me to
distinguish between the man and the teaching; to put the man aside and take
the lessons I have learned and move on. He is a fake Nagual; a man weakened by
his boasting, narcissism and penchant for trying to control the impressions of
others - that is enough to put aside the veil of glamour he shields himself with.


 


 For posterity I will
state that whilst in his company he continually boasted about his physical
feats and attributes. He conveyed excessive concern about how youthful he
looked and pressured my impressions to see him as such. He was dismissive and
reactive to me not sensing his chi.These points show many holes in his facade in my view.  As an empath I take exception to his behaviour
and realize that I must be judicious in containing my energy within tight
boundaries.


 


My lessons have been severe. As my attention gathers power and
duration I feel an influx of energy and an emerging objectivity.  Instead of injustice, there is a sense of
been a warrior accepting the gifts of life in whatever form they appear,
whether they are brutal or gentle is not important.

This is perhaps all I have to say about the man L ujan M atus. About me, well there is the open road ahead....

[Absyllyon]

The path to creating an energy body anew begins with
reemploying the exercises of attention, such as self sensing, observation of
the physical body, emotions and thoughts periodically during the day as a
formality and during challenging experiences with the outside world. Splitting
the attention in this way causes some of the energy to flow into the creation
of an energy body. As this energy consolidates a sensation of something other
is experienced. Something other than what is normally taken as “I” or “me”.


 


As the power of the energy body grows so does the
differentiation of it and the personality. It has a far more objective outlook
to all proceedings and and is intrinsically connected and at one with all life.
Eventually a realization is made that in order to maintain awareness of this
energy body, part of ones awareness must be transferred to it. This means that a
major portion of ones personality has to be shed. It is the first death. To
realise that the awareness of the energy body is not the awareness of everyday
ordinary existence is quite frightening and refreshing both at the same time.
To realise that this other is me, that is unknown to me, that the me I am used to
cannot know it. Before my common existence yawns an expanding abyss which I
must traverse, leaving what I know behind.


 


I am me, yet I am it but cannot ever know it as been me.


 


Contemplating jumping into this abyss causes a fear to arise
within of loosing consciousness. There are parts of me that resist becoming non
existent. These parts once shed possibly live on as disincarnated entities,
comprising of a constellation of desires and impulses which are no longer
animated within.


 


Remorse and gratitude enable one to surrender to this new
creation.

[Absyllyon]

I sit still, immobile watching my breath as it opens and
closes, feeling it arrive with in me. My gaze is steady, focused along my nose
on the ground 3 feet in front of me. I represent to myself an atmosphere
surrounding my body. It is the magnetic potential of my body, the result of my
living. With in it is contained all that is rotten and all that is good in me.
It powers the constellation of  seekers
seeking the light and the legion of animal desires lusting after their own
gratification– all of them tiny souls. Within this field are powerful magnetic
centres containing souls of like resonance, some of which overwhelm me and take
control of my body for their own desires and fulfillment. They command me into
positions of compromise for which I am responsible and for which I must pay the price 
Others contain the souls seeking the light, seeking to be tempered by the
grueling knocks of life. No-matter-what they always arise again in my field,
magnetizing other fields of like nature. As the gravity of this center grows so
does the power of its will, which is other than the willfulness of the legion I
am used too and to whom I align with as “I”, as “Me”.

This legion is me but of a
false nature. It has a mechanical impetus and is powered by the energy
provided  that cause movements of
an associative nature, cascading into dramatic striations called “my dream”. I
recognise the falsehood of these mechanical lives and take note of how the
control me. I have seen and still see that I am asleep, that I slumber in a
passive way allowing life to happen to me; allowing associations to move me
about. I am the sum of my associations to the extent that I allow them to
maintain a grip of delusional influence over my being.


 


As I gaze my vision darkens, there are fluctuation of light
and dark until my visual field goes black. My right eye has the sensation of
been blind for the moment, that is until imagery appear in it. I seem to see the first attention with my left eye and the second attention with my right eye despite the blackness. I am divided, yet whole in its absolute sense.


 


The atmosphere I have represented to myself I pull in close
to my body. As I breath in I feel my gaze arrive in my chest and as I breath
out it moves out of my solar plexus. The magnetic field is contained and steady.
This containment separates my field from others around me, which gives me
freedom form the consideration and influence of other people. I feel free of
concern and start to relax. The more I relax the more I am inclined to want to
be with people and take on the challenges of living. I note the sensation of 2 centers of gravity - one within my physical body (first attention) and one within my Kesdjan body (second attention).

I note that the body is passive, awaiting its first command.

[serloco]

hello Absyllyon, I hope you are well. You are certainly a crafty fellow aren't you? Crafting up new bodies for you and splitting your awareness and using all that knowledge and rationality and putting it to creative ad generating new ways for yourself and for your world by bringing your knowledge here. innovative approach and of course reasonable as well. I have a point to make where i disagree with one thing you said and that is that you need to create an energy body for yourself.. now yes you can surely dream up a new body, and make different bodies for yourself no doubt, but in my knowledge and awareness you do not need to create an energy body you merey need to find it. We are always already generating energy with our bodies, and intent and awareness. the thing is most people have little awareness of their energies and their intent to begin with if any, ad so they go about acting in the energy world and never even seeing these energies in motion, never witnessing the actioon that our energy bodies naturally take in during the course of our lives, and so i would defer and say that you do not need to split your awareness and attention for the energy body atleast but need to intend the action of finding and focusing on the energy body that you already have working for you.. yes it is for the most part not put to good use for many people, and it needs to have some good knowledge applied to it right away.. for example my favorite is that the energy body can perform any action perfectly. and now you have begun intending the actions carefully for your energy body that you are about to discover as soon as your awareness finds this body. It is in my knowledge a body of intent and when you intend an action or merely a shift of awareness you are in fact intending with your energy body the action that it needs to perform to accomplish what you set out to do.. and your energy body is what does this action for you.. it takes intent and observation to find your energy body and begin intending its motions and actions. the energy body deal with everything in the world as energy. awareness, knowledge, intent and will, oh and perception too.. now the source of these energies and where they are being generated and performed from is called your energy body already, and you betya you already have oe working for you too.. just no awareness on it.. yes you need to also dream your energy body into form as well, and build it with your awareness of it, this means that as you grow awareness of it the ore your energy bodies form will form in the ways you are both intending and naturally becoming aware. yes you can have a shabby energy body that performs crumbly actions if that is what your energy is intending to do, and so when i say dream your energy body i mean to give it power and good blessings and a good vision for its advancement and development. your progress, ad yes every tie you intend to make you energy body perform better for you and as you gain more awareness to see clearly intent and will and awareness and knowledge and perception then so too will your energy body become more visible in your awareness for it is your energy body that performs all of this for you.. now you might wanna say that by definition that if you are not dealing nor seeing your world as a world of energy then you are not really using your energy body at all really but alas the world is also already energy it is just that many have been trained to see it as physical and never focus on the intent and will, and the awareness itself. thus you never see the energy, nor the body that is really still working with a world of energy for you.

I like how you took it though and applied your knowledge to a very useful direction, and i too have been where you are now, ready to begin dreaming yourself new forms of bodies.. it is a great place to be in and is exciting too. i remember when i first became aware that i had the possibility of having an astral body, and they gave me a definition for me of it and how it works for me.. i read it and soaked it all in and believed it hook line and sinker but rally in actuality for that body i was just creating it anew and activating this knowledge and awareness fr the first time in my life, and i do not believe i really had one before the moment i intended it through the knowledge i activated through my research. for as soon as i activated this knowledge i began to be able to separate myself from my body and enter into my astral body just like it told me ad i believed.. i remember running my hands, my very real hands right through solid object and boy was i amazed too. i ran up the stairs to where my cat lay on my bed and i started pet him but intended to pass right through him insted ad sure enough i went right threw him... my cat freaked right ow and jumped up onto its feet giving my an insane look and very very startled.. i laughed and loved it.. now i look back at this moment and see that all the knowledge i gave this body was responsible for the form it created, the awareness f this body that had read i believed that i had one already and so my real energy body then intended its form actively and naturally in the way it told me to do it.. now the teaching set up my energy to dream for me and create this new form of body for me based from everything i had read of it and activated in my awareness. pretty amazing.

now some may argue that yes indeed we have an astral body already but i see that we dream it into form and existence the moment we accepted that it existed in that form. Once you accept that you have one then you right away are free to explore it and use it too. Now no i didnt trick you into creatig for yourself n energy body you lready have becasue yes you do have one already... but do you know what gives existence? the awareness that it exists .. now a good stalker cud trick your eergy body into creating for you any for of new body defined and if you accepted it and believed it and gave it existence then alas so it would be in the form you have given it, of course your technique of willfully intending the construction of another body will also work just as well.

thanks for sharing this good topic here.. but why in this section??

[Absyllyon]

I posted here as it brings a loop back on its self in away. It is the sensation of this energy body that I had before its consolidation was dispersed with the advent of the shock I received from LM written words, which now is consolidating againAlso I don't have much else to write on the subject as this is the limit of my experience, which would of resulted in a short thread. Perhaps I will initiate another thread as my experience grows.
From my understanding, everyone has an energy body that grows on account of life experience, known as a lunar energy body, which is relinquished back to the earth on death. I guess we can 'find' this body by becoming increasingly aware of it. We have the opportunity to grow what is called a solar energy body through our own conscious will which remains after death in which part of our awareness will reside. It is more what I am referring to.
 My experience is along the lines of energy consolidating around a magnetic center. I did not experience the locus of this center, other than been in the vicinity of the chest. Its sensation was one of an increasing density in and around my awareness as well as sensations around the uppers chakras, which are the sense organs of the Kesdjan body. Oddly, when I view the consolidated energy it appears most densely in an area outside of the body and on the right hand side at the level of the chest. I view this from a perspective outside of my body facing it.

[Finwe]

Infinite form does not exists, what does not exists is not real, what is not real does not exists.

[serloco]

of course infinite form exists, just not for you finwe..