My experience with Lujan Matus

[NathansHere]

Hello Everyone, My name is Nathan. Last year I sought an apprenticeship from author Lujan Matus. I liked his material and interviews so I contacted him via email. I wasn't accepted but a few days after found myself in contact with him again telepathically and his "double" which I'd see hovering in my bedroom and staring at me as he spoke to me. I thought he was helping me. Things took a turn for the worse when I found out he wasn't helping me with my troubles but rather creating them himself and acting as though he was the helper. I'm very sad as it's been over 1 year now and his double has not left me alone. Every day is a constant battle. It sometimes feels as though you're being ripped in several directions when I'm taking a simple walk (a sophisticated form of black magic that he uses). 

I don't doubt that his written material is good, but I can certify from personal experience that he's not who he presents himself to be.

Things I've undergone whilst with his double including a racing heart, body feeling cold, nightmares, hearing his voice talking to me and guilting me, seeing "visions" of people and remote viewing, hearing people's thoughts (which might not be real), feeling ripped apart in several directions, energy being stolen from me, forcing me to attack my own ancestors in the spiritual realm etc.

You might say "well this is your apprenticeship"...well, it was...for 3 months the double was teaching me many things from spells to receiving insights from the dreaming and how to "see", giving me dragon tears and windlock which would lock and prevent "predators" from stealing my power and essentially make me feel like a huge bubble infront of people who didn't have the best intentions towards me. Etc. It makes you feel untouchable. 

But I couldn't do it. He was still attacking me on a daily basis using black magick, possibly to toughen me up. Or whatever he had in mind, and now I'm no longer in the learning phase. He was too contradictory, on one hand he'd help me learn new things through showing me things in visions such as the state of the world and how people are not truly present whilst the next day filling me with anxiety through distressing thoughts about my family.

His reason that he attacked people (including me), he told me, was to help the person's karma. Apparently it was in our "karma" to be attacked due to something in the past and that it was better for him to attack us to resolve us rather than allow us to continue with life and be met with a "real" black magician who did not have the best of intentions for us. And thus in the process would teach me how I should go about to attack people who might have a future encounter with a black magician in advance to "help them resolve their karma". But as time went on, this didn't seem true as I'd never done anything serious to anyone to be "resolved" and the attacks were coming to me daily.

Unfortunately, this seems alot like like "hook of the Spirit" that Castaneda speaks about. How a Shaman will force you to learn from them for many years using shamanic techniques to hook you in. Unfortunately, I didn't think that Lujan would be that type of teacher...I always imagined him to be someone who lets people to freely come and learn from him without any obligation. I guess I was wrong. If anyone has any similar experiences with said author then please let me know so I can post it on my website.


Nathan. 
Perth, Australia

[Pixie Dust]

Hi Nathan,

You sound as though you're in pain and injured from your encounter with Lujan. In life, we have the potential to be injured or helped by anyone, including spiritual leaders. Your symptoms sound like mental unrest and that you would benefit from guidance from anyone of your choosing. Be it a spiritual leader or otherwise. I find nature to be of exceptional help, but find what you enjoy.

Namaste,
Pixie

[serloco]

Hi Nathan, welcome to the forum. It is a respectable place here. You are safe. I too have had problems with Lujan. I recommend being careful how you place your power. Power is something you can shift around and rearrange, or even remove and cut completely. You are in your perception giving Lujan great power. I would rethink your situation. Start by commanding that Lujan not be able to do these things to you and focus and set your own intent against him. When you say Lujan has great power you are willing that to be so. COunter these thoughts, and rethink them. You will find quickly that you are getting better and stronger.

[NathansHere]

Thank you both for your warm welcoming.

Pixie Dust, I've found that being outside in the sun...looking into the distance brings me much peace. I should definitely be out in the nature, thank you.

Serloco, I've tried what you said and it's gotten me some results. Thank you for that, Much blessings

[Absyllyon]

Question the assumption that he is aware of what his double does. A double is created from the progenitors energy, but who is to say at what level the passions are at that drive this double and whether he has any command over it at all. For all intents and purposes it must surely be a separate being of its self, just as a child is from its parents.

Project your best deep laugh at the cognitive dissonance generated by your concept of him and change the energetic position you stand on. Reverse roles with his vampiric double, don the mantle of "warrior" and absorb the energy of its attacks like it is itself the prey and not you.
Stand in the center of your power and desist from circuitously meandering around the periphery of your meekness.

[NathansHere]

Mmm, Stalking power. I've been thinking about this the past few days, I'll think about starting this practice immediately so I can benefit out of this whole thing rather than being the one who is robbed out of power. Thank you Absyllyon

[Absyllyon]

How are your doing NathansHere?

[watergaze]

I am sorry that you are having this bad experience NathansHere.
.
NathansHere wrote:Unfortunately, this seems alot like like "hook of the Spirit" that Castaneda speaks about. How a Shaman will force you to learn from them for many years using shamanic techniques to hook you in.
I somehow doubt that a teacher using this technique damages their student on purpose. I think what you describe is nothing like that which CC speaks about. Imagine DJ attacking CC and telling him that he needed to resolve his karma? That sounds ridiculous in the CC system, especially since they do not 'believe' in karma. In their world view one just has one life to make it, no second or third tries. That is part of the way of the warrior.
There was one part in CC where he was in an antagonistic relationship (that was set up by DJ) with one of the witches. But that was not like what you write here, if memory serves me .
.
NathansHere wrote:I always imagined him to be someone who lets people to freely come and learn from him without any obligation.
This is not directly related to what you write but I feel like noting it down: there is always an obligation that comes from learning. If nothing else one cannot/should not act as if one didin't know what they know. 

I hope you get better and better NathansHere. I assume you use some kinds of ways of protection (personally I always start with shamanic allies). And I agree with Pixie that (for me personally too) nature is a great healer. Also, connect yourself with things that bring or show you the joy in life.

[NathansHere]

Absyllyon wrote:
How are your doing NathansHere?

Hi Absyllon,
I'm doing good. I recently used your technique to shift myself from the perspective of a victim to one of power when I was being subject to tapping noises that a certain spirit makes when it comes around.

Since doing this, the noise soon stops and I don't feel it around me anymore.

I've also used it with the Double that I wrote about but its taken too much of me to continue. It's like a game of power and I just don't have the energy to do it all day long. But nevertheless, I appreciate the idea that you presented as I may be able to do it for much longer in the future.

What my Seeing has showed me was that these types of entities that make those noises feed of fear, when I changed my perspective, it felt weak and powerless so it left me alone (and went somewhere else).

Thank you for your comment as I've been dealing with this other spirit for a while too.

[NathansHere]

Hello watergaze, I agree with everything you've said. For protection, I've been using instant spells of protection. I no longer have to endure the strong psychic attacks he used to give me and I'm thankful for that.

[glance left]

Driving to work this a.m., I looked up, coming around a curve overlooking the city, and saw a billboard that said, "Nate!.....You're wife knows"  I didn't have time to see what the billboard was actually about before passing it by
 
  I don't know if you're married or if maybe this means connect with the female aspect of your inner seer...or maybe has nothing to do with you at all LOL...but anyways I'm supposed to report it here.  And anyways, good opportunity to briefly reflect on the multilateral lesson learned in my personal experience.
 
I empathize, because I spent quite some time interacting with Lujan.  I learned a ton from this interaction....and from then breaking away as my path moved on. 
 
As mentioned above in a previous post....for me, it was about shifting perspective.  From a certain angle there was me and him and the issues inherent between in whatever was interfering with the exchange, much of which was mine...and some of which was his.  Let's be fair....the guy is  brimming with power for a very specific reason, as infinity sees fit in its inscrutable plan.  But, while we're being fair, let's be fairer still....he's also human and, as such, is brimming with personal quirks of character too...some of which are not so endearing.  Those become more glaring, for any of us, when power accumulates from what I've heard. 
 
Quirks of character aside, there was loads of pure, clear, core lessons which he tirelessly teaches to his students....to anyone who listens. I listened...and remember....and apply those cores even now.  i.e. I'm grateful.  The key for me, in leaving him and his instruction (and I did so at the behest of my own "female inner seer" during a moment of deep meditation.....listening to my Better Half, so to speak , was shifting perspective....subtly tilting the reflective lens to the extent that the fixed view of Lujan became transparent allowing access to the view of what's behind/beyond him.  The sun behind the clouds, so to speak.  Seeing this subtle shift, lends to experimenting more with that shift....transparency deepens until he disappears!  And look, there's nothing but sun, which is shining everywhere all the time.  So, there's deep comfort/wisdom in that view....know that with Lujan or without Lujan (pick any guru's name to exchange...or any fixed object/source of perceived instruction)  Looking further within and seeing multifarious reflective lenses facing inward and outward which can be adjusted in any direction.  A perspective can be fixed upon, to learn all there is to learn from the rich experience that that fixed perspective brings...and then can be shifted to a new view, liberating that perspective, allowing for more insights....more options....more lessons...more mysteries. All the time knowing that the source of the reflected view is the perennial light of the sun....the source of awareness...that teaches all the time in every possible circumstance.
 
So, for me, it was about "to stay or to go"....knowing either way, the ultimate source of my instructions is always right here....centrally stationed and easily aligned with, if that intent is upheld.  I chose to go, taking that light with me of course.  And it continues to teach in indescribable ways in every possible circumstance. 
 
So again, from my view, the problem is in the perspective...and any inner issue that fixes a perspective into place.  It can be shifted, and the seeming solidity of issues dissolve and are liberated, offering another view. Freedom! Seeing it once, knowing it can be done again and again and again, no matter the obstacle or the circumstance.
 
For what its worth

[Pixie Dust]

I also knew the guy, and it's fair to say he has quirks. Every intelligence does quirks are just byproducts of an accumulation of experience mixed with biology. Some quirks are more tolerable than others, but that's a subjective element. Like. I've known some people who others have called evil. I found those characters endearing instead because my perspective of evil is different than others. Also, evil has a reason for being evil. Just as good has a reason for being good. At the end of it all, I try to remember to ask myself what matters.

Reality gets dicey the further out one gets, but me and mine are ok. The people I care for have breadcrumbs to follow, should they one day have the desire to do so. I made sure of it. For me, I may not always be able be around. Seriously, death will come for us, naturally or otherwise. I've done all that I can, and I'll continue to push my agenda until I'm unable. I hope everyone else does too (push their agenda). The search for knowledge is not for the faint of heart. It's my hope that at the end of it all, once it's all said and done, and I'm reviewing my life in a series of flashes, that I'm satisfied with my effort (not outcome). Did I use my time wisely and in the pursuit of freedom, and did I love.

I loved the sh*t out of my favorites

Sometimes I feel sorry for Lujan. I imagine it can't be easy being around small minds. The **** he must have to put up with on a daily basis must be rage inspiring. I wonder how he keeps his amazing sense of humor. He must be a saint. Or. Maybe he must have an incredible posse to keep him grounded-ish. Lol. "Lujan, you can't just stab the muggles. You must listen, nod, reflect, and then help. It's not easy for them, they know not who they are, they are like literal children of the universe and so young still. They require time and love. Let them grow up first before you judge them." Blah, blah, blah. He's a friggin Saint for putting up with such enormous and widespread nonsense.

I like what you said about remaining flexible in thought and perspective. It's important to have that skill. There's a lot that isn't what it seems and the traveller who moves through time will need to remember change is the only constant. There are many beautiful beings on this planet. We have humans, animals, insects, many species. Lots of species still to be discovered too.

When we meet these species, primitive or advanced, an open mind facilitates progress. A closed mind ends progress. An adaptive mind will master the doors and open and close as the situation deems appropriate. An opportunistic mind will just say f it, let's see what's on the other side XP

Be of any mind, at any time. Live your life. Love your life.

I'm certain Lujan is doing great. He's got his posse, he's got a purpose, and perhaps he even has someone to love. What more can one ask for...besides world domination and stuff.

Sometimes I forget that not everyone has my sense of humor. Pardon my quirks

[Pixie Dust]

I feel like there's often a lot of talking without saying what's on my emotional mind. I prefer to show, but I also want to say this. I love you. Not you Glance, because that would be weird. I love you, the person who had enough of a mind to see beyond the veil, who was a hunter and caught his prey. Sometimes those mystery boxes turn out to be rather impressive instead of disappointing. Such a beautiful mind and my how far it has carried you. I'm glad you're here, on this planet, at the same time I am.

[Absyllyon]

I am glad that the technique had some success.
 
I was just re-reading your opening post I wondered if you had considered the following questions.
 
It is interesting that your request for apprenticeship was rejected by him the man ( as is expected) and taken up by his Double.
 
What does it indicate to you that he the man rejected your request and he the double took you up upon it?
 
Have you established whether this Double is in fact his, have you questioned the possibility that it is yours or your shadow?
 
What was your intent when you requested an apprenticeship?
Can you apply this same intent to negate this request in your dreams directly to this double of his?
 
Have you retracted your intent and perhaps redirected your intent for apprenticeship to your own double?
 
May I suggest, that is if you haven’t already, you find ways in your mundane life to strengthen and shore up your ‘will’. Will resides in the Hara (DanTien). If you can reinforce it via breathing and placing your attention on it periodically during the day whilst busy with other tasks you will bring greater consciousness to it. Also by doing every task, chore and duty in your life with gratitude, awareness, care and completing it without due haste.  Once you learn to feel your Hara you will know when you are acting in a way that weakens it. I would submit that this would be a beginning to strengthening your ‘will’. As it is the ‘will’ that supports and enables your ‘intent’ it is prudent to protect it. All efforts with a modecom of success will feed your will with power and enhance it as your magnetic center which will hold your power to you as a formidable shield.
I suggest that you withdraw your request for an apprenticeship from him, formally, ritualistically and in your dreams. Implore that power within you to hear your request, make efforts to feel this in your chest, in your heart, so that your intent can be projected and mirrored by the Dark Sea of Awareness.
 
Sergio Maganas’ sweeping breathe would be use-full to extract your energy from the situation and expel his foreign energies. It is outlaid in his book 2012-2021 The Dawn of the Sixth Sun on page 116
 
I am sure he doesn’t use the word attack, rather he claims to be confronting something you present to a given situation. It is a tactic used to destabilize ones center, to call into question ones knowing. It is intended to cause a person to detach their assemblage point from a static point of view.  The feeling of cognitive dissonance should be capitalized upon. This allows the warrior to flip flop between two points of view, your own and the new one presented. If one can detach ones identification from ones belief/or other structure, perhaps initially for fleeting moments one can then see both perspectives alternatively which gives the assemblage point a work out, it gives it flexibility. It frees up the energy holding it there, and the warrior can use that energy to hold both perspectives together. Eventually one may even be able to formulate a new perspective, find a new location of the A.P and so on causing one to grow and become fluid. That is why self importance is the enemy of a warrior. It will insist that the warrior remain in position.
Be your own teacher, guru, master, whatever and use petty tyrants to help you become mobile knowing that the petty tyrant insists that you come to his position and remain there. I would say that he is assuming the role of petty tyrant here.
If his intent is to resolve you into his position then that is a maneuver to enslave you, because all it does is move you from your position to his and hold you there. Once you assume his position you become his prey.
Personally I would only allow him to play the role of petty tyrant/teacher for the purpose of dislodging my static beliefs with the intent of collecting positions of the AP. I would never remain in his position too long.
So perhaps his is a ploy to maneuver you to a certain position and then you apply the ‘black magic’ to yourself.
Once enough energy has been accumulated viewing the disparity in situations everything becomes more clear, as well as a growing possibility of solving the disparity. If ones energy is too low a state of cognitive dissonance ensues. Personally I think it is a brilliant tactic as the resistance generates a charge. In other words one can hold and increase the positive and negative charge all the while resolving it into the neutral charge. A broken gourd cannot hold the charge effectively or leaks to rapidly. I see it in terms of a capacitor.
You could apply the same idea to your perspective on his incongruity.
Consider the 3 pillars of the Qabalah; judgement, mercy and mildness or justice, mercy, beauty or severity, mercy and understanding. We are severe in our judgement yet seek mercy within and the outcome is understanding or love.
A technique I use is to observe the judgement I cast on others during the day and at night whilst reviewing the day, seek mercy for my shortcomings from my inner being (ie seek to place myself in the shoes of the other person) and generally, depending on how successful I am, understanding and gratitude are born within, ie I find that I experience love.
Eventually the feeling of love will become pervasive in your life.

Keep in mind that all I write to you I write to myself as a student of myself.

[Pixie Dust]

If I had to guess, I would say powerful men lead complicated lives. Timing is important. There are some things that need to occur first before other things can happen. Certain events must come to pass.

Lujan may not be the right choice, right now. Lujan may be the right choice in the future. Long story short, Nate may not be the man he needs to be to make this happen. He is the right soul at the wrong time.

If Nate decides to wait for Lujan, he shouldn't. Waiting for the future means missing the present. The sunrise is too beautiful to miss. It should be embraced with full awareness of the moment.

As with all things, when one door won't open, try others. If there's still interest in a locked door later, come back to it. The mind and the heart must care for one another because wholeness is nice. The way forward is kindness. Toward others sure, but more importantly, toward the self.

There is so much external focus that the inner voice is muffled. Forget the noise of materialism, egotism, and intellectualism. Going inward to experience the self is magic. Within is where we hold the mysteries of the universe. When we discover the self do we discover the world.

Self mastery is the key to many doors and who knows, maybe Lujan isn't even the best door

Speaking from personal experience, there are LOTS of super amazing doors to open. F*ck the one that's closed and check out the others first. We were given this life to live. Never be afraid to live. Choose happiness.

[glance left]

"Sometimes I feel sorry for Lujan. I imagine it can't be easy being around small minds. The **** he must have to put up with on a daily basis must be rage inspiring. I wonder how he keeps his amazing sense of humor. He must be a saint. Or. Maybe he must have an incredible posse to keep him grounded-ish. Lol. "Lujan, you can't just stab the muggles. You must listen, nod, reflect, and then help. It's not easy for them, they know not who they are, they are like literal children of the universe and so young still. They require time and love. Let them grow up first before you judge them." Blah, blah, blah. He's a friggin Saint for putting up with such enormous and widespread nonsense"

Good point.  I remember him talking about his benefactor, the old nagual Lujan, who told him he would have endless difficulties of this nature with his students.  It would take a huge amount of energy and heart to actually dig deep to stir up the stuff in his students that needs to be addressed on a daily basis without becoming terminally resentful at the inevitable backlash. 

"I feel like there's often a lot of talking without saying what's on my emotional mind. I prefer to show, but I also want to say this. I love you. Not you Glance, because that would be weird. I love you, the person who had enough of a mind to see beyond the veil, who was a hunter and caught his prey. Sometimes those mystery boxes turn out to be rather impressive instead of disappointing. Such a beautiful mind and my how far it has carried you. I'm glad you're here, on this planet, at the same time I am."

Much appreciated   This is an avid example of abstract affection, in my personal experience of it, and I'm always inspired when I see it in action.  Affection that sees through the superficial form to the essence of things, which reflects that vast intelligence out there/in here which is orchestrating this whole wondrous/endless play/playground.  It's all around, if I can just have the heart to shift, penetrate and see through.  I pray for the never ending view of abstract affection every day.  And now you...an answer to my prayers by showing me how to do it .  Grazie!  Being on the receiving end of such a gracious gift, I'd be an a55 to not return it in kind.  In the same capacity, I love you too!  You've a unique blend of energy, speed, intelligence, independence, flexibility, humor and passion for high adventure.  Is there anything you can't do?  I think if Hemingway could have brushed up against something/someone of your caliber, he would have found his buoyant heart and set sail on his own high seas, instead of succumbing to his own leviathan, pulled beneath the waves (ewww!  did all that just come squirting out of my mouth?  That's you, sister .  Simply meaning, you're a walking magician....shifting, I'm sure, the world around you wherever you go....opening up possibility for those previously ensnared.  Infinity loves an omnipotential conduit....and will blast energy through it....all.....day.....long, if the opening presents itself.  You go, girl!!

[NathansHere]

What does it indicate to you that he the man rejected your request and he the double took you up upon it?


My thought was that he sent the double to teach me. In the time that he completely immersed himself in attacking me for the first 6 months before my apprenticeship, I became a better person. He would also show me parts of my life where I errd and guilt me daily, making me change the way I behave. In the time of my apprenticeship period which went for around 4 months, he would show me an "outsider's perspective" on every way I acted through visions and hence, I'd change alot of what I did because "It didn't look right".

Have you established whether this Double is in fact his, have you questioned the possibility that it is yours or your shadow?

This Double is really powerful and knowledgeable, I highly doubt that I created it with my mind (ie. it being a tulpa). 
 
What was your intent when you requested an apprenticeship?

I wanted to learn from Lujan Matus personally.


Can you apply this same intent to negate this request in your dreams directly to this double of his?

I've tried speaking to the double to basically say "You win, now let me go" but he gives me satirical responses and tells me never to ask again. I tried emailing the other Lujan Matus that most are familiar with but he didn't help much. The Double has stated that he will leave me alone this July, but I'm skeptical and waiting to see. If so, I'll be the happiest man alive.
 
Have you retracted your intent and perhaps redirected your intent for apprenticeship to your own double?

Yes. Many times. I regret the day I e-mailed him. Even if he has taught me alot through being in my life, all that I had to go through was not necessary. But I also see his presence in my life as a sort of punishment for things I did in the past. It makes me feel like now I can go on with my life, guilt-free, now that I've been "punished" in a way. In a very extreme way which leaves no doubt in my mind that I've received more than what I "deserve". I really hope things do end in July, I'll keep you posted!

[NathansHere]

I mean if his Double starts teaching you as if he is the man himself, what else would you think? If you catch my drift

[NathansHere]

What confuses me is that right after my first contact with Lujan Matus telepathically, I had a demonic entity attack me. It was a full blown attack. My heart was beating out of my chest, I felt like I was being electrocuted again...and again and again. You could feel the "electrical current" throughout your whole body, pounding...again and again.

I think on that night, I was meant to die. Or could have.

I heard Lujan Matus commanding me to quickly "Fortify yourself energetically" and I start waving my hands around trying to mimic the movements in his videos. I had no idea what he was on about but I was about to die here...I had to do whatever he was saying.

Anyway I called on archangels for help, ETs that I had heard of, Gods, etc. And seemed to get a break from it from a while. It stopped. Then continued. Then stopped after I asked for help. 

Months later, He admitted all the stuff going on in my life was due to him. And months later after that he became my "Nagual". I'm not sure why he chose to become such or even teach me if he had made a pact with a demon possibly to kill me (?) the first time I spoke to him telepathically.

I genuinely believe I could have died that night, I wonder why he did that and whether his intention was to kill me. And if it still is. Is it a foiled plan? I think to myself sometimes....

[NathansHere]

I asked Lujan why he was being protected from the attack but I wasn't, I wanted to learn his technique but he wouldn't teach me. He later would say: "I can't, it goes against my integrity to teach the technique to you directly as It doesn't let you learn on your own" - something along those lines.

*Sigh*

[NathansHere]

Most of my apprenticeship was me being attacked by him, being forced to spy on secret societies plans and what esoteric techniques they used, being forced to steal power from magicians, having every flaw in my life pointed out and being guilted (eg. having to say "sorry" in order to receive relief from what I was experiencing), being groomed to become "Maitreya" and later the return of Yeshua (Jesus). 

I didn't like it at all. I wanted to learnt techniques directly from Lujan The Double and I think he may have taught me a few things, but he also made me steal alot of it too from others. Some who I stole power from would try to kill me in my sleep. "But it was all for the good" that I attacked them and stole their power because those chinese sorcerer's "tried to kill Lo Ban's grandson"  (what I was told) and now I was apart of Lujan's clan or something. It's us vs. the sorcerer's. And apparently I was being attacked in my sleep one time and "nearly died" (according to Lujan-The Double) by the same sorcerer's I was forced to spy on/attack/steal power from and was told that Lo Ban saved my life (who made an appearance in my dream, very funny and nice guy, the whole dream changed...it wasn't a normal dream. There was a certain energy to him and the whole dream in general. I met his character.)

Anyway, I don't use those techniques I learned anymore or the knowledge I learned. I have no honor for Lujan, he dishonored me. He gave me a pseudo-apprenticeship. I would've become a better person anyway. I started following some form of mysticism and was interested in buddhism. 

His presence in my life has been worthless. I'm glad for everyone who does have a good relationship with him and learns directly with him without being attacked. I was told that I'm different because I'm a colored individual and he didn't like "my kind" studying toltec knowledge. Now I'm left with traumatic experiences and knowledge that isn't what I had asked for, I wanted an apprenticeship, not to spy on other sorcerer's and learn their secret techniques.

[NathansHere]

Sorry for the ranting, guys

[Pixie Dust]

I think it's good to remember that everything is public, even when we believe it's private there are many ways cyber security is manipulated. The illusion of privacy is a good one! No worries about Lujan and his spies. If they're there they are discreet.

I really enjoy how you're giving Lujan so much credit. You're painting him out to be a God! It's quite a compliment all the power you've assigned to him via your exchange. I often think of him like a God too. He moves like a wild beast. It's so primitive. I lurves it.

He's clearly not your speed. He's not for everyone. No one is for everyone. It's so sad you're still pestered by him. You must have really caught his eye.

Do tell: what about you made him pursue you to such extent?

[Absyllyon]

NathansHere wrote:"You win, now let me go" but he gives me satirical responses and tells me never to ask again. I tried emailing the other Lujan Matus that most are familiar with but he didn't help much. The Double has stated that he will leave me alone this July, but I'm skeptical and waiting to see. If so, I'll be the happiest man alive.
 
Have you retracted your intent and perhaps redirected your intent for apprenticeship to your own double?

Yes. Many times. I regret the day I e-mailed him. Even if he has taught me alot through being in my life, all that I had to go through was not necessary. But I also see his presence in my life as a sort of punishment for things I did in the past. It makes me feel like now I can go on with my life, guilt-free, now that I've been "punished" in a way. In a very extreme way which leaves no doubt in my mind that I've received more than what I "deserve". I really hope things do end in July, I'll keep you posted!
 
From what you write it seems to me that your intent still remains the same. I would take his double up on its statement not to ever ask again. Refocusing your intent isn't a request but a command.

The regret you hold is making your energy leak like a sieve and weakening your position to will or command anything. Stand as a warrior, seal yourself and stand firm in your decisions. No regrets, only making a new way forward. What I am saying is that only by taking everything that has happened to you and the things you have done and owning it can you regain your power. Demand from yourself that you occupy that space and feel yourself as immovable in your ownership of it. I wouldn't wait until July. You make your own karma, so take action now. Take your feeling of been traumatized into your chest whilst repeating to yourself that what hurts you only makes you stronger. Try to 'feel' the truth of this until optimism and a sense of resilience shine through.

I think that LM take on karma is erroneous, and at the worst new age spin to keep one passive. Karma is the outcome of previous thoughts, emotions and actions. Karma is the present and only we can create our karma. I don't see karma as a punishment, but as the result of my will and intent. I am its creator, therefore only I am responsible for it. I am not punished or rewarded, I receive exactly what I create. The likes of LM or any other for that matter have no say over my karma unless I allow it. They can do their worst but I claim as my own the outcome of my actions.

Interesting that LM integrity won't allow him to teach you how to protect yourself and yet he is quite willing for you to sully  yours by spying and stealing for him. Of course if he did teach you then you would be able to prevent your energy been pilfered by his double.

I have heard from a few people that he uses them for gathering intel, depending on their energy and skills. Just beware that he is watched by the CIA, that he claims to be Quetzalcoatl (the Aryan Christ) reincarnated. I am sure that you have a very good idea with your experiences just what type of person you are dealing with. I have met him a few times and seen him in a dream, once in human form and another as a old jaguar. As a jaguar he tried to kill me because I refused to be locked up under his 'protection', but a part of me put an end to him, meaning that he would have had to recover the energy he lost in the encounter.

I agree that his techniques are very effective and his books, especially his first are embedded with his intent. To me that means that when I read it I inadvertently connected to him and became a possible resource to him.

If you were able to 'steal' power from other sorcerers then you should be able to take back your power from him and his double.

[Pixie Dust]

I wholeheartedly agree with Abs. Nate ought to "believe" LM away. Like, it worked for Tinkerbell in Peter Pan. They clapped for her to live again. Maybe clap to make the boogieman go away. It's worth a shot. Also, he could try hiding under his covers. I did that as a kid and it really had a 100% success rate. If belief and hiding fails then waiting and hoping for a good July seems good. I mean, as it stands Nate is up sht creek. He lost control of the situation. I wonder what he did to deserve such a haunting life. Hmmm. It's not like he did anything bad... It's not like he annoyed the wrong individual. Shoot. From all we know of Nate he's a super nice guy. It must be some kind of mistake methinks. Maybe a chicken sacrifice to the God of War will earn him favor? Who knows, I haven't ever had these problems he describes. It really sounds like he pissed off the wrong guy. That sucks for Nate.

As for the CIA.. pish posh. That's so hokey. What do they matter when we're all being monitored by the NSA. Hahaha, I'm kidding. That would be silly. We just talk about life and stuffz.