autonomy

[transitions4]

hi there, its been a while since i wrote, i know, forgive me. hope you are all doing well, and i am enjoying the recent posts - keep it up! i would love to see this forum expand ever further, and am honoured to be a part of that. anyways.

soo, i was thinking about autonomy. before i met serloco i had believed that autonomy was an illusion, that everyone must depend on someone/thing else, i saw the world of dependencies - this is the habitual position of humanity, i was looking at it from within the consensus therefore could not see the way out. i realise now that actually, autonomy is possible once you remove yourself from the consensus. going back to the starting point of my journey, was over a year ago when i first messaged serloco, he taught me and helped me to gain the strength to free myself, i dont know if he still does much in the way of helping me now- i think i am on my own. i realised that my autonomy is a process of freedom, i have glimpsed moments where i am completely removed from consensus and have done some amazing things inthese positions, my autonomy is accrued in a similar way that inner silence is accruing for me. altho, with autonomy i am gradually getting 'freer'.

i would like to offer a definition of autonomy as i see it - remaining unmoved by external influences, this is detachment (as billy has talked about )

what does this mean? for me, it is related to what dJ used to talk about-freedom, Serloco i feel has a greater view of this, having seen the third attention. in a more practical sense, i am looking at how i can be autonomous in my life. i cut the things that tie me to the consensus and make me dependent, i see now how to achieve complete independence.

this relates to love, as well, and i would like to talk about that as well. in my world i used to think that you got a good job, a girl, had kids, got married blah blah (pukes), yet as i have developed my ideas i have seen that i have a lover who exists somewhere out there, this lover is the archetype for all the people i have loved and all the people i ever will love, and - like my ally- would enter the people that i was in love with, i feel that this is my true 'soul mate', altho a physical manifestation is nice to see, in this reality. so i do not depend on my lover in this world, i know that who i 'really' love exists beyond space and time, is an abstract thing.

this is good, i will never cling to anyone again and im sure that my next relationship will be amazing. my ally can tap this energy and become my love.

this also helped me to realise why i was upset with the people i have relationship with in the past - they never met my expectations or lived up to this archetype - and that made me feel bad cos i judged people so badly in the past.

[serloco]

Yes the spirit has guided me to let you do things more now, on your own. i would help you more if you needed it, but the last thing you need right now is for me to do everything for you. you need that burst of power that comes from winning your battles on your own.. kind of like the topic states.

[transitions4]

spirit showed me, yes, altho you do help.

there are times where i would tell others to tell themselves different things, i used to help without helping in this way - outside of the circle - i only did this when spirit guided me, it was like when they werent being impeccable or they were telling themselves silly things. i remember telling people to leave me alone, i intended away my friends. i love my friends now, see - this is what i learnt from all the times my ap moved thru hallucinogens, that love is there always, it is omnipresent, and you can feel love for a lot of perceptions in the second attention, even tho they dont really relate to anything human, also i have often made the places where i call home to be magical places of power, altho i didnt really kno what i was doing, it is a very powerful act to single out my home from the street, making even my perception of the street change as i get nearer, for example one place i would accentuate the aura colours of everything, making everything look slightly cartoony, or like a postcard of a christmas scene, a lot of the times it would look like it was in the film waking life or a scanner darkly. yes, love is there always, and i met aya during the ayausca ceremony, a being that loved me, and showed me love for music and the second attention, journeys into the unknown, aya showed me trust as well as she loved me i felt trust for her, my skin turned gold in the mirror. love helps me to help, be helped and to learn. as this unfolds i realised the connection with autonomy and love, one thing dJ got right about me was that i was looking for a crutch or someone to feel sorry for me, etc, it was something like that, and as i have started to work with the abstract, i have stopped wastin energy on a lot of things, i am stronger and feel more sure of myself, i have let go of needing to find someone, was silly anyway.

[serloco]

Yes you have some good gifts.. I like your cartoon post card perception. I may try that out. You remind me of many times i would get closer to something and have it change as i walked closer to it, because in my awareness everything is fluid and often not even there until i get there. A good position of power sees the world as fluid and not yet set until the moment you are living it. What is the world to you? So many answers, so many paths. And of all the ways there is only one now. Now is the world. Sliiiiiiiiiiiiip!

[serloco]

Your past is a lot like mine. I ran from all my friends too. Hid myself out of ear shot, i knew noone and had no friends. I could control people. I used to help them too, and i still do. But for a long time i wanted no friends. I didnt trust them and i still dont, but i do like to give some things to people. Higher awareness. I am making friends again in my life. You gotta know your friends someone said to me.

[transitions4]

yeah, it became fluid, and would seem magical oozing power, i would feel happier as i got closer, those days i was fluid and young,  i often wish i could buy that house and live there again, my friend lives near there and i went to visit him recently, i decided to walk down the old street and thought i wonder if the house still looks magical, and you know what it was like i'd never left, as i got nearer i longed to go back to my old box room there, such a quiet peaceful place, i felt the surge of power. there was monks living around there in the past i saw. i saw the house on lsd a couple of times as well, and saw the energy of the place so i guess my perceptions and the fluidity of the area were enhanced by this. i made it into a place of power for me, it was the first time i would read don juan and watch the stars.

yes now i see the world in this way, not just my house, i can set things to be the way i want, i have good experience of 'not yet set til the moment you're living it'. i can make a place of power anywhere i have found.

yes trust was difficult for me and you have shown me to trust the unknown, see i was too nice and used to let people tell me things, i realised that it was my longing for companionship that made me clingy and want to hold people as well. i changed in the way that i use my energy now, i trust when i know to trust and i let spirit guide me, i do not try to hold my friends or let them walk all over me, yes i hide now. it all comes to down to energy i know, so i use it wisely now.

i love this world and i feel i get a boost from the earth, i love all the people i see, i see God in them, and yet there are people i do not trust, but i still love them, and i know how to act around them now. i know that if spirit shows me not to trust them then i try to show them what spirit is showing me, and trust that they will work it out (eventually or quickly). i know that in the past i was blind to what spirit was showing me, sometimes people would show me what spirit was showing them about me and i would not believe it, i know that for me when spirit intervened and my connection became active that i saw that in all those times if id  just listened to them/spirit i couldve saved myself a lot of time and pain, yet it is learning right. i guess that was just the way i learnt.

[serloco]

yes i suggest stalking the idea that the spirit will break down the door if you dont listen and it will make you see and know. remember you beckon the spirit to you, then it moves you from inside out..yielding to a higher power such as the spirit requires trust and humility. we dont know everything and yet the spirit does. tell it to help you make you learn, and even to learn better about how to learn.. beckoning in this way will give you clarity, trust, and knowingness of the spirit. you do well tho.

[transitions4]

yes spirit is moving me well, i am learning to move with spirit. trust in the unknown is linked with autonomy, in the sense that i am shifting the field of play. intending the good, learning, it is changed my relationship with the unknown, and its funny cos i thought that autonomy would be a scary position to be in, and it is, yet there is security. i have good relations with God, Spirit, Ally, Aya, all good energy that helps. i am setting my world and dreaming well, even a crow came and sat by me today. i sometimes feel that the animals that visit me are learning with me, we are at the same place in our learning as well as in the world, we interact and trade energy mutually, learn and move on, just like the people i meet, and i like to see the animals so one day i hope to get a garden again at least, or live on the beach. there is a interesting connection between the ocean and inner silence, the way our minds create the sound of the waves is possibly the most beautiful background music there is, i have worked well with the sound of the waves, or rivers, waterfalls, creating music in my mind in the moment, like the rhythm comes from the world it always does, even in the city, it is why music sounds the way it does these days. and yet it is a shame, cos i see the backdrop of this forum, the forest, and i remember how we always we used to listen to the sounds of the world, i watched a documentary on a tribe in the amazon where they described how sound is seen in waves, as everything has its own frequency, its a matter of moving with the sound for them, they hunt this way as well, but they also just walk around and this is their way of seeing the world. Aya showed me a lot of this and how to see music and sound, my ally sings for me. and the world is a feeling.

[serloco]

You are alone with your death.. it means so much. You are alone in reality, it is your awareness that generates, fills that grand space. you are alone with your judgements, with your tells. You alone must find your way, what you accept, what you choose. The flow of your life is underway, it is a reality that sees you, knows you intimately. Its hidden behind the many masks we make of life. The shades of life. The vast forms life can take on. You are alone with what you tell your reality to be and do. There is more then one truth to follow. More then one path to embrace.

[transitions4]

alone with my death, wielding power, i am in control of the path my life will take, i have redirected the energy and not gotten ill, i saw my illness as a projection and took it off straight away, took the power back from where i was wasting it, transformed my life into a positive force of good, the world opened up.. i have learnt the power of the night, i intended to gain power from the twilight like don juan said and this ritual became a connection with the natural world, joined raven field and felt the power of the full moon dreaming, how observing the moon enhanced my connection with the natural world as well, i remember seeing the full moon over the sea and it brought back a lot of power to me, i felt the power of the ocean and how i longed to move to the seaside again, really helps getting the sea air in your lungs..  there is a position of sun gazing i have worked with where you lie down and feel the suns rays all over, the healing force of God, and i found that using my imagination i could move the ap to experience being underneath the sun in a different part of the world, for example i would imagine lying under the african sun in a desert, or a jungle or lying on the beach of a tropical island in the middle of the ocean far away from anyone, this is strengthening autonomy, and my connections with natural phenomena, i found that moon gazing has been similar, that i can imagine the power of the moon, whilst i saw it over the sea i imagined scenes from carribean and moved my ap.. i am making my world more magical and gaining power

[serloco]

And so the Angel stood on the Sun and shouted out to all the birds "This is what the Sun is. The feast of God. In every moment there is light and light, the Sun unveils everything. It knows everything and knows every life there is. With the sun you can have any awareness of any time and person. You can drink the blood of Kings. The Sun is the record and the eyes on every moment. Right Now.

[serloco]

[transitions4]

thanks for the music and words serloco, yes i saw the sun is the eye of God, i have often seen many things thru sungazing and meditation, i have focused on certain impressions that i receive and followed them, seen things from all over the world from many different times, have been able to travel to locations thru dreaming as i said in the last post.. i most like the sun's ray's healing capacity and how the energy is so pure and white..

so i chose autonomy as i liked the idea, it is closely related to sorcery and freedom for me, an essential aspect, i see it, that i focus on the abstract.. the word for me means freedom from external control / influence and also i have seen more recently, forces.. we are perceivers and serloco showed me that the "force of perception can mold reality including forces", if i see how the word autonomy applies to my life, this is where it comes into play, a perceiver can shape external control /influences, can defy time / space/ forces -with power.. this is a movement away completely from the concrete and towards the abstract, perceiving the world as a world of energy, and moving into dreaming reality rather than being bound to the 'objects'..

think of when don juan said that we accepted knowledge from our ancestors without bothering to question it, what is autonomy? here, it means that you take back power, you claim knowledge as power through practical means, you dont just accept knowledge that was told to you about reality, you become the scientist and experiment.. looking at the teacher and the student - it does nothing for the student if the teacher caters to them, the teacher must intervene and direct the students energy, for example -correct their bad thinking, why? because then the student sees the truth for themselves - usually finding their own answers and not accepting the teacher's 'correction', the correction is more like an intervention to free stuck energy in this respect, this sets the students energy to run free into new perceptions.

when i teach guitar for example, a lot of it is technique which i correct, but on the energy side of things, people develop patterns of playing and to grow and evolve as guitar players they need to experiment with new ideas and patterns, this is where autonomy comes into play, i show my students how to play new patterns, this frees their energy to experiment with new ideas, to find the sounds that they like to hear and this will be transferred into every aspect of their playing and writing, the work they do on their own shapes their playing and their playing evolves and they learn how to teach themselves more - because the more patterns i show them the more they will see the connections and how the guitar works, it sets them up to try new ideas and patterns for themselves using their intuition or inspiration. i always let my students decide what they want to do, i always give them choice and never force them to do anything.

serloco has always acted as an impeccable nagual when teaching me, i have learnt so much from him, and yet, i claimed all of this knowledge as my own. he directed me to see the spirit of all awareness, and this idea brought me my own teacher, serloco showed me ally and now i have my ally, and i see allies and work with them, all of this knowledge i claimed as power, and now i teach myself whatever i want to learn. the way that he taught me was perfect - he set my ap moving and just set me to work, he consistently guided me to see spirit, to learn to see and to perceive the world of energy for myself, it was a monumental effort on his part and must have taken a lot of energy and yet he would say 'meh', that to me is awesome (in the true meaning of the word).. yet he could see the result would be that in a short space of time i would get over myself, my self imposed limitations, and become completely self reliant, fluid and able to teach myself. the true teacher is like this, i have found, (serloco being the best teacher i have ever met) that they will urge you to look at yourself to find the answers yourself and to learn to teach yourself, it is strange really cos then the teacher becomes something else. serloco has become a great friend now, and i learn from him always.

i have "followed the hardships of learning" to get to the point of autonomy, it has been very difficult, and yet the difficulty was all my own - i made it that way, i couldve just made it easy for myself.. yet i see that we all go thru similar processes and at a certain point the balance shifts and yes it gets easy.

[Genardo Sacateca]

I haven't been here for a while, but from what I have read of your posts you apparently take an esoteric approach to guitar which I am in full agreement with, I've found the real problem with playing guitar is that a weak, undisciplined mind is not in the moment facing the oncoming time while playing. It is when we can stop our internal dialogue and radiate loving gratitude through the notes played that the real magic of music can happen. While we're still at the point of thinking of notes, problems or anything that takes us away from the moment that music can be a chore rather than a window towards our true nature.
I'm not trying to say that I can always reach that point while playing, but it is in those moments where all I feel is joyful, loving gratitude that my music is most wonderful.

That is when music comes from the heart rather than just from the head

[serloco]

You see transitions, everything is your position of awareness, your intent, your knowledge. Long ago I was immersed in donJuan's awareness where you needed energy to teach and move people. I only had so much and I could 'spend it'. I would run dry and I would know it. Stalking infinity and the perfect energy body enabled me to shift that old, crappy, awareness out of me for the most part. I began saying better things like energy can regenerate itself as you spend it. That is when I started intending that result. If you dont have awareness and knowledge activated that says you run out then you never will. You will always find yourself having exactly the amount of energy you need. Sure there are other solutions you could stalk but it doesnt matter. Point is if you intend to run out of energy then that is the 'blueprint' you set for your actions. You will find yourself running out. I dont believe in that anymore. The Spirit will give me all the energy I need. Indeed I got loads of energy working with you. I got power too. Everything in every moment can he you succeed in your goals. Perhaps that is the point of this catered reality? Everyone is working to your intent and your goals. When you beckon the spirit, when you intend something the world then moves into that role. I remember learning about all the Biblical greats. My world was a normal earth for me and yet everyone would play the roles needed for the lesson to be told. Indeed the Spirit moves everyone.

[serloco]

Oh and hi stinky.. Been awhile..

[Genardo Sacateca]

You've got yer head between yer knees and you call me stinky????

[Sacateca]

THE GREAT SIR LOCO!!!
Oh, he's a 'charmer', this one

[transitions4]

I haven't been here for a while, but from what I have read of your posts you apparently take an esoteric approach to guitar which I am in full agreement with, I've found the real problem with playing guitar is that a weak, undisciplined mind is not in the moment facing the oncoming time while playing. It is when we can stop our internal dialogue and radiate loving gratitude through the notes played that the real magic of music can happen. While we're still at the point of thinking of notes, problems or anything that takes us away from the moment that music can be a chore rather than a window towards our true nature. I'm not trying to say that I can always reach that point while playing, but it is in those moments where all I feel is joyful, loving gratitude that my music is most wonderful. That is when music comes from the heart rather than just from the head

yes i have learnt the best way to play for me is to feel the music, like my strumming pattern is locked in with the rhythm and i am feeling the sounds- how the harmonies im playing are sounding, i like to play interesting chords and work on the relation between them, yes it is from the heart.. as well i am getting quicker at using my head at times to figure out something whilst playing, and it can be useful especially in a improvisation session or working on new ideas for songs or a new song, i find that then i am loving things more cos the idea sounded great or whatever.. i guess playing is becoming automatic for me, and i intended that it would be this way, wanted to be able to play guitar and sing and i am getting there now.

i see your point its good to encourage playing from the heart, to feel the music, its why i always let my students decide what they wanna learn, so they're fully engaged with what they're doing - for example if its they're favourite song or whatever. i found that they learn more on their own that way and that is the intent really. yeah i see that students get stuck in ID, so its cool to stop that, i find that creating a comfortable environment usually settles the mood so its always kinda cool really, yeah i will look out for that in future though.. when im playing im playing from the heart when teaching especially so i think it just translates and sets the students up with a good example

its good to see you're back man, i read your thread a lot, lolled and learnt a lot from you, i am grateful that you share your knowledge, thank you for that, its very much appreciated.. i look forward to reading more from you

[transitions4]

You see transitions, everything is your position of awareness, your intent, your knowledge. Long ago I was immersed in donJuan's awareness where you needed energy to teach and move people. I only had so much and I could 'spend it'. I would run dry and I would know it. Stalking infinity and the perfect energy body enabled me to shift that old, crappy, awareness out of me for the most part. I began saying better things like energy can regenerate itself as you spend it. That is when I started intending that result. If you dont have awareness and knowledge activated that says you run out then you never will. You will always find yourself having exactly the amount of energy you need. Sure there are other solutions you could stalk but it doesnt matter. Point is if you intend to run out of energy then that is the 'blueprint' you set for your actions. You will find yourself running out. I dont believe in that anymore. The Spirit will give me all the energy I need. Indeed I got loads of energy working with you. I got power too. Everything in every moment can he you succeed in your goals. Perhaps that is the point of this catered reality? Everyone is working to your intent and your goals. When you beckon the spirit, when you intend something the world then moves into that role. I remember learning about all the Biblical greats. My world was a normal earth for me and yet everyone would play the roles needed for the lesson to be told. Indeed the Spirit moves everyone.
yes, you're right.. i dont subscribe to dj's awareness on this either.  its like i see where a student is stuck and i focus my seeing on that point, showing them how to free themselves, like the energy is released, through solutions, fluidity, i use the term energy cos its how i see it - in terms of energy, like their energy tells me they're stuck.

with learning guitar its like sometimes students have mental blocks on things, like they believe they cant do it, like its too difficult, and recently i learnt that to teach things are easy is the best, coupled with intending fluidity the student moves very well..

[serloco]

You are tredding the path of a nagual indeed.

[Genardo Sacateca]

I aim at becoming better than I have ever been
Whether I am a "Nagual" or not is irrelevant to me

I don't indulge in such speculations

I'm just not interested.

[Sacateca]

And get yer head out from between yer knees, you pube sniffer!!!

[transitions4]

for me nagual is the position of teacher that shows student spirit, spirit moves the ap but the teacher moves the ap too, castaneda wrote some fun stuff about this, i dont think its in an indulgent speculation, its more like a position - one that anyone can become, i saw that sorcery was a common practice a long time ago, teachers/naguals were a necessity of the community, the spirit guides or the local shaman.. these positions exist today and i have met a shaman and participated in an ayuasca ceremony - something that has been practiced for thousands of years, the teacher/shaman/nagual it is not an uncommon thing (they're not all the same 'thing', i would say the nagual is like the archetype teacher, all other types of teacher evolved from that), and also i would say anyone who puts into practice what they read in castaneda is learning to be a nagual - i dont believe in the energy configuration stuff he talked about being something you're 'born with' thats unchangable, i saw that anyone can evolve to become a nagual spirit showed me, and also i saw that it is easy. i always held it in my heart the teacher position, this is just who i am and its like its my calling in life to teach, i dont claim to know anything, but i am learning to teach as a nagual, stalking that position, helping my friends to become fluid warriors, i mean its not like i said 'i want to be a nagual' --spirit showed me the position, i decided that i would be a nagual, and i went for it.

[Genardo Sacateca]

That's cool. I respect the beliefs of others that inspire them to do good. I just have no desire to be a "nagual" leader. I don't need that to feel good about myself.You might find this post I created on a Muslim site interesting:


"Time to face reality: Those who use the Quran to spread venomous, intolerant hatred throughout the world are...

NOT DOING GOOD!!!

If ANY BOOK encourages spreading intolerant, murderous hatred throughout Allah's beautiful planet, THAT BOOK should be viewed with extreme suspicion

Like it or not, it takes a lot of courage for me to come here and write the truth I feel in my heart. I view your tolerance of me as nothing short of LIVING MIRACULOUS!!!

You, Islam, do NOT have a reputation for being tolerant of any view other than your own, and different Muslims sects vary in interpretations of the Quran to the point of killing each other.

Christians have outgrown killing each other over differences in Biblical interpretations. Islam has OBVIOUSLY NOT outgrown such violent controversy. I'd say it is about time Islam outgrew their absolute certainty that THEIR particular interpretation of the Quran is the ONLY interpretation that is correct.

Such certainties produce war and bloodshed and...

THAT IS NOT DOING GOOD!!!"