untitled

[Billy]

I'll simplify:  When you detach, focus on CHOICE as such, and stay present to that CHOICE through the entire process. 

You will sense the potency and feel the body aura.

[Billy]

Now I am going to show where the detachment practicing and tonal reality mesh.  The central (or predominant) occupation of productivity or work in your life must become THEE medium for spiritual maturity.  Where before, it was perhaps viewed apart or even contradictive to spirituality, your attention must shift to worldly productivity and efficiency as the primary reflection of growth.

   Your CHOICE to focus on the 'job' in self-importance therewith, is to consistently reinforce the value of spatial objectivity (detachment).

[Billy]

The paradox is only seemingly, since you tend to the tonal fully in self-importance, but keep the spiritual undercurrent as the permeating force.  Yet, there is nothing false in conversion to the tonal.  That is, you REALLY are critically self-important in the tonal by giving attention to your work of vocation, family, and goals as the very essence of being spiritual.

Nothing other than the subtle disposition of holding to the conventional acts as spiritual is different from another who is attached to the vocation, family, and goals.

The acts are spiritual in and of themselves on one hand and not the other.  Understand?

So, when you come to the crux of moving from a well groomed detachment in the tonal to one that is existentially consumptive in emptiness, this act is complete.  You have total knowledge that the tonal is controlled folly, and thus assume indifference.

***.. words don't cut it, but I'm trying (smile)

[serloco]

i don't give a ***.

[serloco]

[Billy]

Exactly on cue.  I write stuff that I KNOW is idiocy.  Well, (shakin' my head) I definitely don't give a *** either, now that you had goodness to tell me.  Don't you dare think to tell me it wasn't completely trash.

   I WANT that it is trash so I can crumple up this wayward endeavor.  I need to get busy being a degenerate *** like I am.

How do you do that?  Better question..  WHY do you do that?  ***, you must love me a whole lot.

Read into.. however it suits you. 

I'm impatient and hateful (laugh).

[Billy]

Do you know yesterday I held the tension of negativity for a couple hours in willful intent?  It was 'lectrifying.  It was exquisite.  Between knowing to try and your lesson below on facing the 'scary' demonic I was good to go.

serloco said:  You mention the book of synchronicity frightening you...You have to give it love first, and pet the spine. Before you open it. Focus first, listen, focus and open. Even answer any fears you have inside of you and what you are experiencing wherever they come from and form from, and answer them, move beyond them and into your answers, your solutions, your direction of attention.
You are in motion. So too is the world around you.  {different configurations of reality}

Thank you for teaching me so much

[Billy]

Something I identify as obviously full of negativity, and instead of detachment I go with it without reservations.  I had to hold myself from squirting adrenalin throughout.  I can't wait until something serious happens/you know this is completely twisted/ and you would encourage me (smile)

I'm not doing great speed, but I am surely becoming more fluid.

[Billy]

Something I identify as obviously full of negativity, and instead of detachment I go with it without reservations.  I had to hold myself from squirting adrenalin throughout.  I can't wait until something serious happens/you know this is completely twisted/ and you would encourage me (smile)

I'm not doing great speed, but I am surely becoming more fluid.

P.S. So others know, this isn't about whether the 'trash' is true or not; IT IS about being or not being where I want to be.  Also.. I love you too derek.

[serloco]

nah, some of the stuff is good.

dont forget to pet it first... hehehe

[Billy]

So I told you once I don't like music a lot.  Most of the music videos you post I google for lyrics (don't listen to songs).  Now Rob Zombie....  I don't want to say I like it musically, but something I just love the *** out of it (listened to all of it).  It sorts out my mind.. makes everything delectably simple.

   I look at everything you post virtually, and get tons out of it too.

    I liked The Monster is Loose also.

   When the spirit moves me I'll post again.

[serloco]

i like that you talk.. gives me something to laugh at.. hehehehe, yes i am an ass hole.. and i yes i am kidding..

[Billy]

Quit being a pissy little slut coming around to a moment of decency.  I like you much better as a slut. 

ADD:  You and I can do moral conscience sentiment with others well, but not us with each other.  I'm not asking.. I'm telling you.  Now, it's okay to tell me Derek "you are right billy"

or, you can tell me, "*** yourself, which as I see it, are the same affirmative response.  I don't need people persons Derek, I do need derek/billy.  So, don't play the namby pamby card.

I won't use smily moticons and happy word indicators so often; it makes you go soft in the brain. (kk.. a billy/derek smile)

[Billy]

Quit being a pissy little slut coming around to a moment of decency.  I like you much better as a slut. 

ADD:  You and I can do moral conscience sentiment with others well, but not us with each other.  I'm not asking.. I'm telling you.  Now, it's okay to tell me Derek "you are right billy"

or, you can tell me, "*** yourself, which as I see it, are the same affirmative response.  I don't need people persons Derek, I do need derek/billy.  So, don't play the namby pamby card.

I won't use smily moticons and happy word indicators so often; it makes you go soft in the brain. (kk.. a billy/derek smile)

[Billy]

My demeanor is markedly different.  I have embraced a current state of negativity for over a week.  This has affected every living thing I engage as to how I am perceived.  Normally one looks at the derivative societal confrontation and repudiation, and makes some introspective inventory to amend self.  I have intentionally not done this for reasons that should be obvious if you've read me.

   It is quite an intriguing comportment to openly enjoin the feelings of the 'seedy negative' billy as much as any other emotions.  One is conditioned to be afraid here, and that is unnecessary as I see it.

 ADD:  These states typically are not stayed with long enough to objectify.  I am very capable now, and I am not to be threatened by anything 'billy.'  This is delectable at some points, and I am empirically learning a great deal about self-control.

[Billy]

My demeanor is markedly different.  I have embraced a current state of negativity for over a week.  This has affected every living thing I engage as to how I am perceived.  Normally one looks at the derivative societal confrontation and repudiation, and makes some introspective inventory to amend self.  I have intentionally not done this for reasons that should be obvious if you've read me.

   It is quite an intriguing comportment to openly enjoin the feelings of the 'seedy negative' billy as much as any other emotions.  One is conditioned to be afraid here, and that is unnecessary as I see it.

 ADD:  These states typically are not stayed with long enough to objectify.  I am very capable now, and I am not to be threatened by anything 'billy.'  This is delectable at some points, and I am empirically learning a great deal about self-control.

 It is true that there is an element of being impatient and hateful that I can internalize healthfully.

I will likely have more to share on this.

[Billy]

My demeanor is markedly different.  I have embraced a current state of negativity for over a week.  This has affected every living thing I engage as to how I am perceived.  Normally one looks at the derivative societal confrontation and repudiation, and makes some introspective inventory to amend self.  I have intentionally not done this for reasons that should be obvious if you've read me.

   It is quite an intriguing comportment to openly enjoin the feelings of the 'seedy negative' billy as much as any other emotions.  One is conditioned to be afraid here, and that is unnecessary as I see it.

 ADD:  These states typically are not stayed with long enough to objectify.  I am very capable now, and I am not to be threatened by anything 'billy.'  This is delectable at some points, and I am empirically learning a great deal about self-control.

 It is true that there is an element of being impatient and hateful that I can internalize healthfully.

I will likely have more to share on this.

[serloco]

i'll be rosy if i wanna be rosy, and i will be a dick if i wanna be a dick too.
i dont use my brain silly. no time to think things thru..

"i dont hafta think, i only have to do it.. results are always perfect, and thats old news"

[serloco]

[Billy]

I want to correct that I said this negative inflow has been ongoing over a week.  It's  been a little less than a week.

I think a negative field (I'm using vague words here), tends to become depressive because the mind/body rejects it and shuts down.  By remaining aware, I notice a compounding effect of incoming negative energy.  That is, negative energy seemingly reproduces more of itself through various forms.  I haven't resisted.

I know it is negative by the edging towards adrenaline release, and the anxious feeling I'll describe as 'all's not right' and a subtle jittery foreboding. {This is not to mention adverse feedback from 'out there.' I am quickly making friends with this negative energy.

By moving through it without resistance there is a counter-intuitive sense of well-being and empowerment.  I'm not clever enough to make this **** up.  This is what the experience is.

[serloco]

You really should listen to this classic. The music is made for the moment always. I am the God of music and of prophesy. Enjoy my works. A smily just for you and it touches feeling, just for you..

[Billy]

Where is the classic I should listen to?

Not Enough made me laugh.   I'll say this, I have been getting zapped literally with what feels like low level electricity from a circuit, and had that from the verses empiricism also.

I have the second-guessing that comes from uncertainty associated with a negative state; but again, there is a counter-intuitive clarity.  I am having better clarity right along.  The vibrations are different in objectified negativity.  It has distinct texture that can be worked with.
 I understand this does not make sense to anyone. 
 
  I'll know how to explain better with more experience.  It has a freaky good, sneaky good feel right now.  Are you here serloco?

[Billy]

Is Not Enough the classic I should listen to?

Not Enough made me laugh.   I'll say this, I have been getting zapped literally with what feels like low level electricity from a circuit, and had that from the verses empiricism also.

I have the second-guessing that comes from uncertainty associated with a negative state; but again, there is a counter-intuitive clarity.  I am having better clarity right along.  The vibrations are different in objectified negativity.  It has distinct texture that can be worked with.
 I understand this does not make sense to anyone. 
 
  I'll know how to explain better with more experience.  It has a freaky good, sneaky good feel right now.  Are you here serloco?

Nirvana ah ha ha  OH ME   Yes, you are the God of music and of prophecy.

[Billy]

Is Not Enough the classic I should listen to?

Not Enough made me laugh.   I'll say this, I have been getting zapped literally with what feels like low level electricity from a circuit, and had that from the verses empiricism also.

I have the second-guessing that comes from uncertainty associated with a negative state; but again, there is a counter-intuitive clarity.  I am having better clarity right along.  The vibrations are different in objectified negativity.  It has distinct texture that can be worked with.
 I understand this does not make sense to anyone. 
 
  I'll know how to explain better with more experience.  It has a freaky good, sneaky good feel right now.  Are you here serloco?

Nirvana ah ha ha  OH ME oh my   Yes, you are the God of music and of prophecy.

[serloco]

i was waiting for your slow ass last night, was in chat... tumbleweeds.. maybe i should use a lil force.. 'you will come to chat'.. i am in my new place right now, first hour here.. its nice and clean and better then my last place for cheaper.. i like it here.. i am just here for the weekend tho, and moving here for a few months for march.. im gonna kiss allie tomorrow.. meeting her at her work place in a couple hours.. i havent intended the city here, i have left it alone.. i want to see what springs up on its own without my intervention.. silent knowledge tells me new friends and positive atmosphere.. i hope so.. not in a telling mood lately.. i hate controlling everyone.. want to let them be a they naturally are.. i will lay to rest the force for awhile.. see what goes.. i had a teller controlling me, my own and some of my allies and i didnt like it and so i dont want to control others.. do onto others right? all the amazing magic i did got in the wrong hands and nearly wiped out much of the natural life in the world. created psychic wars and much nonsense. and so i blocked much of it and laid it to rest.. it was mine afterall. i never lost control of the world but i let it be.. i will keep what i need tho and have the old stuff on standbye..