What is Your Story?

[Gugeyewalker]

What is Your Story?

I am not interested in your personal history so much. For all warriors there is something that hooks them onto the path. These are stories worth sharing.

How did you discover the sublime nature of the world? How did you find the path of a warrior? Did you have a mind blowing experience? Did the Castaneda books play a part? Did you have a teacher?

I will try to somehow briefly give you my story.

The foundation for me had been laid in my teenage years. My family, although Catholic, encouraged free-thinking, and there were always books around the house by Joseph Campbell, Alan Watts, Carl Sagan, and Carlos Castaneda. We even had shaman friends, one of them officially trained although she never made a loud noise of it. We even took off on adventures into the deep southwest where we met all kinds of interesting people. None of this seriously changed me though

A prelude to the real changes was a period of time when I worked hard for a seafood wholesale business my grandparents owned. This involved a lot of lifting, moving, steaming crabs, and cleaning, a LOT of cleaning. I remember distinctly a crab that had escaped from the steam pot, only to have caustic acid accidentally spilled on it. I saw the poor thing clawing at itself to remove whatever it thought was hurting it. I decided to end it's life myself. Later I tried to imagine what it felt, and imagine its death experience. I asked myself if it would be reborn in some other form. I visualized a glow of energy wherever the crab had acid spilled on it before it died and underwent it's transformation.

Not long after that I came down with the flu. Not knowing how to properly self treat, I even did martial arts while sick in an attempt to 'sweat it out'. This made me more severely sick. Well, finally one morning I woke up feeling just fine, in fact – great. I went to work, and managed to do my work with great efficiency and strength. Then an odd thing began to happen. I began to be jocular and spontaneous, not something I was known for at the time. I acted entirely out of character; daring, playful, and spunky. You have to understand what a serious introvert I was to really appreciate this personality shift. I even stood up to a bullying cousin and scared him into a run, who knows what would have happened had my uncle not intervened before I caught him and beat him up.

This state of very high energy and daring went on for a week, then it began to both fade and re-emerge, but not always as strong as before. I finally remembered the cause. The morning before I woke up feeling awesome I remember being in something like a dream state, and saying “I am going to heal myself.”

What happened after that is really difficult to recall or remember exactly. But, I remember being pealed apart layer by layer. Each piece was cleaned up, processed, and reassembled. There was certainly a spinning aspect to it, as if my pieces were flying off due to a spin before they were reassembled. As I started to wake up that morning the sunrise glow came through the east window. I also felt something like a liquid glow that I could move around my body, and I did this with great pleasure.

The alternate personality worried some family who thought I might be getting into drugs. I even told my mother 'I really don't have to be my father's son anymore.' So I began to try to figure out what the hell was actually happening to me. As the high-energy state began to settle down I found Castaneda's Fire from Within and began reading. At the time I had read The Teachings of Don Juan, Journey to Ixtlan, and Art of Dreaming. There was a paragraph in Fire from Withing about Don Genaro having a similar experience to me

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When their laughter had subsided, Genaro said that I had to be aware of a drawback, the fact thatfrom time to time the assemblage point returns to its original position. He told me that in his own case, the normal position of his assemblage point had forced him to see people as threatening andoften terrifying beings. To his utter amazement, one day he realized that he had changed. He wasconsiderably more daring and had successfully dealt with a situation that would have ordinarilythrown him into chaos and fear.

 „I found myself making love,” Genaro continued, and he winked at me. „Usually I was afraid todeath of women. But one day I found myself in bed with a most ferocious woman, it was so unlikeme that when I realized what I was doing I nearly had a heart attack. The jolt made my assemblagepoint return to its miserable normal position and I had to run out of the house, shaking like a scared rabbit.
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No, I didn't seduce ferocious women or anything, but the principle of the shift is what I related to. There really was no better explanation. I had gone through a massive assemblage point shift which re-emerges for periods of time to this day. When I am in the 'daring' position, many possibilities seem to be available to me that normally are not.=1emI should note though, that there was another major experience. For a few years after this I had learned to recapitulate and did so almost daily, although I still was a messy young adult, and I would not call myself a warrior at that time. Still, I was very much into it

I had taken ecstasy a couple of times before. On this particular occasion my best friend gave me some ecstasy just as we were going in to see a movie, and this experience was nothing like before. I do not recall anything at all about the two hour movie. Instead a number of realizations were beginning to overwhelm me about labels, life experiences, and energy blocks. I called these at the time 'bullshit plugs'. There was a massive one on the left side of my abdomen. I went on to tell my friend about all my realizations after the movie. I said to him that we were 'globs of energy'. I 'knew' that I was seeing energy. We went to some friends who were also tripping and I could 'see' them too. This was very much a feeling experience more than a visual one, but my left eye occasionally flicked over by itself and made me semi cross – it was a weird eye movement and a very strange kind of focus. I can't really do that movement anymore, but the other sensations persist to this day.

The next day, barely remembering everything I had experienced the night before, I went to the book store and walked right to the newly released book Magical Passes by Castaneda. I bought it. After a few days when the ecstasy effects were thoroughly worn off, I tried some of the moves. I found myself in a state very quickly and very similar to the ecstasy state from a few days before.

I became an avid tensegrity practitioner. For some reason I felt averse to Cleargreen, and didn't want to be trapped in any kind of 'group'. I never attended any seminars but eventually found a practice group. I went on to have other revelations and dreaming experiences. I never sought a shaman guru after a couple of bad experiences, but I did find an outstanding traditional Chinese Kung Fu instructor, who taught me some really interesting energetic moves from his side of the world. I often still dream that he is teaching me something new.

After a while I think I lost the warrior's way somewhere. I am still trying to identify exactly where and why I lost it

Now I am finding that I 'need' it. I am to the point now where I have to be highly adaptive and strong to make a living and yet still have a full life. I need life to be imbued with the sublime and mystery, or I will grow old, filled with regret. The warrior's way is the only way I know to make this happen.

[Finwe]

Gugeyewalker wrote:
Now I am finding that I 'need' it. I am to the point now where I have to be highly adaptive and strong to make a living and yet still have a full life. I need life to be imbued with the sublime and mystery, or I will grow old, filled with regret. The warrior's way is the only way I know to make this happen.

 
Thanks for the writing, nice to read and the last sentence, really ringed in my chest.

[serloco]

What is age, old age, n decay? This is a definitive question that is personal for you n your world perhaps as well.

Can u stop the world n this regard ? Must u age coupled with decay? Beware - be-aware.

[serloco]

N don't u dare try to force feed me ur "like it or not" routine, another beware.. I shapeshift 'specially my aging , my projection of awareness n knowledge.

[serloco]

Average ppl r weak n safe. Small n fragile, no threat. Untrained. I call it safe.

The habitual position shifts over time bcuz one gains cohesion , which is why , in GENERO'S own words Ixtlan is forever lost to him, n me too.

[serloco]

Speaking of aging do u still view the world as a child without knowledge or did u grow up as u imagined ? Do u still learn n digest new awareness or do u lose it all n fall back? I'll tell u when average people became much more to me, the trees n animals n everything i kept my new awareness n dropped the idea of 'shifting back". Sorcerers stalk cohesion on many positions/shifts .

[serloco]

So tell me Mr know-it-all do u hate me cuz I know-it-all?

M I too abrasive for ur feelings or can u peer past in order to learn ?

[serloco]

Here is a gift if u can use it Catholic man. Woman is made from the body of Adam, the man. Now ask urself carefully what is woman, what does she like, enjoy, n seek? These answers r inside u NOW manifesting , flowing from u out into ur dream. Can u control this awareness ? I locked up Eve in my "rib cage"..hehehe.

[serloco]

Good To Be King Lyrics

It's good to be king and have your own world
It helps to make friends, it's good to meet girls
A sweet little queen who can't run away
It's good to be king, whatever it pays
Excuse me if I have some place in my mind
Where I go time to time
//www.youtube.com/embed/2SF1iLXSQto

[serloco]

//www.youtube.com/embed/hHTikQ8U6tQ

Nagual's blow 4 on some girlies

MINDLESS SELF INDULGENCE LYRICS
"Clarissa"

Every single one of you goddamn bitches ain't never gonna give me no love
I'm telling you every single one of you goddamn bitches ain't never gonna give me no love
Every little thing you do - rock my
Every little thing you do - fucking hole
Little teenage **** little [x4]

If you're so smart, explain this Clarissa - pow
Clarissa, Clarissa, Clarissa
Die, die, die!

Every single one of you goddamn bitches ain't never gonna give me no love
I'm telling you every single one of you goddamn bitches ain't never gonna give me no love
Every little thing you do - rock my
Every little thing you do - fucking hole
Little teenage **** [x4]

You're so smart [x3]
Explain this Clarissa Clarissa Clarissa pow pow pow
Explain this explain this explain this Clarissa Clarissa Clarissa pow pow pow
Come on me furgusun come on me furgusun come on and ride me now come on me furgusun come on me well i got nothing come on me furgusun come
On and ride it ride it pow

//www.youtube.com/embed/yb6amH7hEhA

"Bitches"

Throughout the projects
Throughout the projects
Throughout the projects

bitches love me cause they know that I can rock
bitches love me cause they know that I can rhyme
bitches love me cause they know that I can ***
bitches love me cause they know that I'm on time

Throughout the projects
throughout the projects
Throughout the projects

Done.
Done.
This is how it should be done
this is how it should be done

This style
Style
Style
Done

Pow!

Muthafucka...

Pow!

Bitches love me
Bitches love me
Bitches love me
Bitches love me
Bitches love me
Bitches love me love me love me love me love me
Bitches love me
Bitches love me
bitches love me
bitches love me
bitches love me cause they know that I can rock

Done.
Done.
This is how it should be done
this is how it should be done
This style
Style
Style
Done.

[Gugeyewalker]

serloco wrote:What is age, old age, n decay? This is a definitive question that is personal for you n your world perhaps as well.

Can u stop the world n this regard ? Must u age coupled with decay? Beware - be-aware.
Good question....

Obviously warriors age much slower than most...aging is mostly a social agreement, one that we can refuse. Warriors save gobs of energy, so of course we don't age much! It may come a point though that some physical tragedy will hit ya hard and youll start to age...then die. Just the way it is. Doesn't exclude being a warrior in some sense though.

When the assemblage point is fluid, and intent is at your command, you can move it to BE anything or anyone, young or old. It is jsut a matter of storing energy, dropping self-importance and personal history, finding self-discipline, all the basics right? 

AND seeking the sublime - an endless source of power. Source haha Sourceror! MUAH!

[serloco]

Then it 'may be' 4 u. Your awareness n agreement not mine. The 'way it is' 4 u, in YOUR awareness n knowledge. YOUR choice. I can be, n have been even a dragon, n my body is a slave to only myself n my Nagual God. Cars pass through me, n tragedy avoided through my adviser , my choices, my dance with death.

[serloco]

Even resurrection is at my command. Died many times too. MY choice.

[serloco]

My death would ask me "what would happen if..." n I would always answer best as my power would allow. Then it would happen exactly as I intended. I learned after many death how to command my death, how to see other's deaths n how to avoid it also. Usually i now just say I wouldn't be there it wouldn't happen. I wouldn't intend it. I would do _____ instead.

[serloco]

You do see your intent of death in your words right? Your agreement that beckons it right?

[serloco]

If I were you I would redefine what a warrior is. Infinity is a definitive journey ! You say one can be anything then you slipped n defined for yourself misery n defeat. Then like an **** you tried to spread your failure onto all else. Well no thanks... pall. We choose for ourselves, u not the alpha boss of freedom u need to learn this. A personal journey. We are not you nor moved by you.

[Gugeyewalker]

serloco wrote:If I were you I would redefine what a warrior is. Infinity is a definitive journey ! You say one can be anything then you slipped n defined for yourself misery n defeat. Then like an **** you tried to spread your failure onto all else. Well no thanks... pall. We choose for ourselves, u not the alpha boss of freedom u need to learn this. A personal journey. We are not you nor moved by you.
Oh ok. Well it is a personal journey yes, and I am NOT you true. But it is also an impersonal journey with common themes among us. I am not at all sure what your journey or struggle is for example. But there are glimpses of the warrior in things you say which I can understand and relate to. Even though you are clearly fucking deranged at best and most likely just batshit crazy. I still am moved just a little ya know.

[Gugeyewalker]

Come to think of it, there are some things the I do that are fucking karazy too by most people's standards! So don't assume we are all that damned different.

Its self importance that tells us we are unique and 'special'. You are not, and I am not either.

Good to be king is nice toon. Excellent taste if I may say so , Sir.

[Gugeyewalker]

serloco wrote:You do see your intent of death in your words right? Your agreement that beckons it right?
Oh ok I see what you mean here I guess...

I prefer to believe though, and perpare for, death. If you have died and resurrected many times, if you mean that literally, well obviously you have some skills that I dont seem to have! If you are free of death then good on you! Maybe someday you can teach me how you do that.

But the reason I prefer to beleive I am eventually going to die is because I can't afford to beleive that I have all the time in the world to do what I want to do.

[Finwe]

Being a true King, is far from the concept of someone who gives a ****, while thinking what a King he is, because he gives a ****.
There are two kinds of Kings, one rules the Kingdom to have power, while the second kind of Kings rule the Kingdom for good.

The two kinds of Kings are differentiated by their intentions, that is those who wants to rule and those who does not require to rule. Those who want to rule should not be given the ruling right as their intention is selfish and power-hunger, that sooner or later destroys every kingdom, fx. the last line of French Kings, who were obssessed with luxury, wealth-acummulation and the latest fashion so much they forgot, that their wealth comes from the prosperity of whole kingdom, by taking in comparison only themselves and their pleasures, they thought peasants are just peasants and that was their end, because once you get into the endless circle of attaining comfort, you no longer see need to defend or protect yourself, simply said be aware of threat at all or even considering it, taking precautions and instant actions on that accord, because you see only comfort or boredom, while for Warrior is everything challange, that is survival and freedom.

Being a King at first place is a responsibility, that comes hand in hand with power, with the decision to rule, if you loose responsibility you also loose power, because it is no longer used for what the power really is, as that power is no longer used to rule conscientiously, but despoticaly as the power replaces the first value in the value system of his, that is Ruling which exists only with power and responsibility equal, otherwise it is either power-hunt or worry and fear, which are both unfullfillment.
A true King who does not require to lead and thus leads to good as power does not hold him only to himself and his wealth as he is there to rule, not to conquest, power flows to him from the whole kingdom and every subject the same, according to the Kingdom's class system that is responsible for status and wealth of Kingdom's subjects, from which are derived the taxes of subjects to the King.
The power makes King responsible for the whole Kingdom and that requires of him to be the most selfless, resolute, empathical and righteous, he can be. Once King decides, the order has to be fullfilled by his subjects, without exception, hesitation and to the last word sayeth, otherwise the King's Authority is questionable and that is in eye of his people only his mistake and a smoking tinder, for the fires of a rebellion, that lurks in darkest shadows of every Kingdom. If the defective link(subject) in the chain of command is not senteced to death straight away, because betrayal of the King is equal to betrayal of the whole Kingdom and King hesitates with decision-making like that or become benevolent to crimes beyond norm, laws and tradition, his status becomes questionable, the Trust to Authority is broken and the whole kingdom starts to prone towards malefaction and treacherous deeds and sooner or later rebellion, if not being invaded by neighboring Kingdom, which waits for the first opportunity to.
King has always last word and so King has to consider his words impeccably, it must be known that the King is King and that is shown in his words and acts and the underlying influences of all his Vassals, Land-lords, Counselors, Wizzards/Shamans/Church and other jugglers or Mans of Knowledge of King's preference, his Queen and also mainly common folk, if they are not considered accordingly, if he does not listens silently, he does not know what is his power being used to and automatically dissallows him to do the best decision as he does not hear wholy the Truth of Moment. King embodies the peak of the Kingdom's power and as that is the embodiment of it's direction. That being said, King requires unbreakable will, an unstoppable intent for the good of all people in his Kingdom, for the kingdom to prosper and for the King to have something to rule at all, otherwise the King is just another Conquistador, an impostor, pillaging care-less monster, thief and usurper of another's man land, in his own view the only Will in No man's land, that automatically all belongs to him, while that is a complete nonsense as we are childrens of earth and her keepers, there is a certain plane between us and the earth, through which we co-create the actual reality between sky and earth, synchronically, together with her.

"If the King is head of kingdom,
 his kingdom his body,
and head is for everything deciding,
accordingly to the position and condition of body,
then there is no way for the lie to take place,
as the integrity, that way is natural,
truth unfolds and shines as the prosperity, by that decision made."

[serloco]

What makes you think I am "fucking deranged"? Example please? Now I shift a lot, into many personas, and have been literally in hell. Fought the worst demons of humankind and won too. I have healing thousands of people and saved countless lives from horrendous fates too. I am a miracle a God blessed being named Angel from God Himself. I am written of in the Bible many times MY REAL LIFE buddy. Now yes I have been deranged, n crazy as you say truly. And I have suffered the worst fates known to man. Yet I defeated all of them. Conquered Hell and they sing my praises, sing my life in heaven above. No-one in this earth's history has ever done what I have done dude. None. If that is crazy to you so be it, that is my real life. I , with God, said I would do these things and knew my fate but knew I would be victorious also. I do not run from my fears I conquer them, and the old demons are now mine. I control them now. Most of them anyways. You think I am crazy because I fight evil and win and speak openly about my tales?? That is just who I am. Cancer was an evil, people actually to keep it. I didn't let them. DOwn syndrome is an evil I did not let them keep it. Many more too I have cured myself. I did it dude, my allies and me. You chumps failed at what I succeeded in. I can cure ay disease now and I a attacking greed at the moment and aids too. My allies and me do this and I fight the evils who try to keep it. That is brave not crazy. Now did I suffer in these battles that many could win against yes. Did I suffer when I took on schizophrenia ? Yes badly. Did I go crazy against the demons yes. But guess what? Now 50 % of people cure fully from a disase that none could be cured from before me. Now they say only what I know, and so I know that many now can be cured of it like me. Aids and emphysema I have cured too, but have not grounded this yet into my allies reality,, the ally is everything.. I do it tho,,, understand??? IOBS say what you know.. or when I have the power what I command them to say and do... I make this so,... with deranged power. When I speak of the evils I have taken inside of myself like in my sorrow thread I was possessed woth demons dude, evil Satan inside of me as me... ANd I punished the evil scum who made my reality and your reality a living hell... DO you understand anything about me??? No you do not.. Yet you proclaim me insane... You have no fucking clue who I am... I rewrote what cancer is... 50 years ago because I conjure time.. You have no clue. You do not have this power. You do not understand... I create new cities and guess which band came out when I leanred with feat??? New cities.. Get it??? They sing for me... They are mine.. I am their King but I left them and banished myself from them for freedom and because I would agree to their rules.. But I still hold my crown and I sometimes I wield it. DO you know why the stock market crashed? cuz I commanded it to, with my allies.. so many things I have done in my shadow cloud hidden from the people. When I say they see me they do, and when I say they forget they do,... like Silvio manual I am.. I have had their allies... Vincente and his plants and Silvio and his blurry memory of him... his lack of volition and total command... so many... anything me and my ally can do.. why did computer prices drop in one day from 1500 to 300?? guess?! The TV commercial from staples when I first conjured it was a lady doing the splits and saying that was easy... mine... you probably have no idea what that means either and yet call me nutso for seeeeeeing I clearly and conjuring it to my will. I conjure my tv, my computers everything... I conjured dual core processer and am likely the only one who can actually explain it. it is an hour glass. I am KIng of my reality.. WHy does Bill Gates donate money to the cure for aids? Because I told him to.. that's why.. its mine. I am a certified genius to which the likes of my doctors had never seen before... I conjured my own test and had my doctors telepathically feed me the answers I didn't even read... I just pointed at the page and knew it was right... I can see the patterns in the page of the intent that made it and can align it to whatever I want it to be... I am a prophet of God who can tell you the future, and command it to be so.. I do it nearly everyday.. you are a chump to me.. a fool tyrant who tries with his little pathetic self-importance to tell me what is and how I have to live, and people like you need t wake up and smell the freedom.. n stop trying to force feed us your **** and disease and lies and death.. THAT is who I am a man of freedom. My like has been my every dream come true... I command and conquer... DO whatever I dream of doing... greed has been my hardest foe but I will prevail because My Name Is the Word of God.. So *** you.

[serloco]

Now I will be nice and match your second post for you, when you came back and were nicer to me... Yes I can teach you how to command your death.. But if you had eyes that could see you would already know how because my posts and the energy and awareness is already in this thread for you now.. If you contemplate on it you will see it is pretty simple.. YOu said that you could have a tragedy, that means you can.... That is your intent... Now if you reform your intent and say actually this would happen instead then that would happen instead. If you listen to your death inside of you, beside you know, in YOUR awareness you can change it and listen and reform your intent. Like when my death said you can get hit by a car I said it would go right through me instead and then that happened see??? You may say anything if you have the power but you should try small instead because you don't have that power yet.... Try with small things like my body heals quicker and learns how to boost my immune system, and I get sick rarely.. Then you would see your intent manifest and then you would gain power in that way... you can do it with anything really... start making commands for yourself, and listen to all the ways deaths tells you you can die and begin reforming your intent and ideas in that way.... if you need any more guidance I am here for you.. I am here for everyone.. but if you be an evil prock and try to hurt me again I may get upset if you are doing intentionaly only.. not if you are just stupid and lost in a trick you should never have bought into in the first place... You see my fault is I used to get angry at people like you for being ignorant and self-important and spraeading your godamn disease like plagues.. its why I rewrite them using my ally called science. book, schools etc... I rewrite time for you fuckers... and sometimes I let you see me do it too... sorry for the insults demons and people who follow them have pissed me off and hurt me badly and so I get upset... its human..

[Gugeyewalker]

Its okay my friend. You see, to call you deranged is not an insult. When I got sick, and then healed, and then became someone else - that is deranged.

To be a seer is to be deranged - utterly! And to call you crazy (not insane but crazy) is not an insult either. Maybe you got mad at me, but in so doing you dropped your shields a bit and shared your story, at least a glimpse of it. If you are not gettin shaken up a bit or challenged from time to time you are stuck!

If I am reading this right, then you revealed how and why, through what kind of struggles, you had arrived on the warriors path. Your fight is no less valid than someone who struggles against reason, rigidity, and fear (like I do).

I can see you need the warrior's path at least as much as I do if not more, and that will always be the way it is, so you are on the warriors path, YOUR way which isn't always understood by 'reasonable' people like me.

So on death.
I once had a dream that I really did have intent at my command (it was a dream) and that I could get almost anything I wanted. I think a lot of people who lucid dream do that in their dream. In this dream, I would fight a demon, wish something, and then and answer from the dream would come back and say 'granted'. Until...

A dark figure oozed into the dream. So I tried to fight it as it approached me, and literally use my will in the dream to make it go away, every time I did that a voice would come from everywhere and say 'DENIED', and every time it would get closer. This black thing eventually got on top of me, and it had me pinned down with an iron grip that was impossible to break. SO I declared this almost verbatim, "I know that you are my death and you can take me any time, any where," and after I said that all these images flashed of where I might be when it happened, in front of my computer, while walking down the street, while driving, many images flashed by in an instant, and then I said "I know you will have me someday, but not today." Then the thing loosened. It backed off and faded away. 
Was I about to die that night I don't know.

So to what you are saying about death...that a car was about to hit you and you talked to your death and said something like..."What if it just passed through me?" And then the car did. Well...yes that sounds hard to beleive but I do not disbelieve you either...If thats right then sorcery is also having a deal with death - a contract of sorts. If you interpret this with the Castaneda books, Don Juan teaches him that we open the gap (where death enters below the navel) when we move the assemblage point or use will. We go through a 'death' when that happens.

SOOO...you mean to say then, that when you are looking at death straight in the eyes, and at that moment you say something like 'well what if I flew instead of fell to my doom', or 'what if the car jsut passes right through me,' or, 'you will have me, but not today,' then you are in command of death. BUT is that the right word?? COMMAND of death (pfft they were my words I put into your mouth werent they lol)? Or is it just a deal with death, a real relationship, that allows you to command intent?

[serloco]

I am byond Carlos now. And beware of the gap and Calros's knowledge of th gap and the will that flow out into death.. T|hat is a perceprion of death that he paints for you and is VERY VERY dangerous indeed. It haunted me for years when I was about to die. NOw say something else instead like death is my friend and tells me of any dangers peacefully and had to ask me if I want to die this way.. Then it wil be that.. The gap idea nearly killed me for years and it is horrendous indeed my friend.. Thank you for your love and your understanding.. I needed that and i appreciate it greatly. I like your sharing too. Yes you almost died but fended off your death perfectly even if you didnt and dont know it. Congrats. hope you gain the ability to see. and I bless you to gain it, thus you will.

[Finwe]

Hey guys and gals, how did you liked me post ?