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i saw the toy theme and figured i'd roll with it. feels nice.
i picked bubbles because of their ephemeral qualities - here and gone so quickly. what is a bubble, really? just some air inside some stretchy stuff until the stuff pops and then the bubble flies out to merge with all of the other dead bubbles ever made. and thats me, every day.
so here's my intro - i'll try to keep it short and sweet:
im here on the forum but i am pretty quiet, at least on the main boards. the reason for this is i find it very hard to hold my **** together long enough to participate in most of the conversations happening. it feels.... straining, somehow, for me to keep myself focused on words in such a way. i dont remember if i was always this way. it's better.. more natural for me not to move in that direction. every day, every moment is a bubble that pops.
i am very intensely physical so i am most comfortable describing things - anything - the way my body experiences it. so talking most times is like switching into my head to translate. its nice to be here where words aren't bars. it is nice to be free.
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Glad you're finally here, moths. Great bubble comparison and yes every moment is a bubble that pops. Interesting how you feel things with your body and then translate it into your head. I'd love to hear more about how you experience freedom, your bubbles, how you go about popping them, if you eat them, what colors they are, are they affected by the wind, if you let others blow them, if you put the bubbles on autopilot, how others view the bubbles... oh the possibilities are endless.
Great title for your thread, so playful.
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Yes, I agree, nice choice of theme. Never thought of bubbles that way until now. Great to have you here Moth
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kapha season is finally catching up with me with its heavy cold. dreaming has been deep, but i cant bring it all back with me for some reason. i started napping and this seems like it will help - i was lucid last night and playing in some bizarre garden with a bunch of trees who wanted me to leave. i am trying to bring my dreaming body here but i need some more energy, so it looks like it's time to head back to the ever-started-but-never-finished recap. i guess i like it - it makes my body feel very strong. i haven't gotten past the last three years so its going to be a long commitment. or i could get a cat.
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i am five or six, sitting at the kitchen table in front of the bay window that looks into our back yard. i'm drinking grape juice out of a hideous yellow tupperware cup with a stand on the bottom so i can't spill it. i'm alone. i am looking out the window at the enormous trees swaying in the breeze... it's early fall. i always liked this sound - creaking leafy oak trees rustling almost like the tide. and then suddenly a big black bird is flying straight at me. i am screaming, thinking it will hit me. but the glass stops it with a horrible splat. i am shaking and crying, running up the stairs to find my mother. at first she doesn't believe me, but the crow is dying below the bay window.
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Yes, snapshots of our life...visuals saturated with feeling...this is what its about, not the garbage spewed by the internal dialog...rules and order arena. Rather...seeing the moment, feeling the moment. Yes, we do bring order to it, but the order should not take such reign as it has is all. So bringing our dreaming closer to us..here. Then seeing the design of intent...and letting the rest go.
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today what i look at feels weird, empty and shallow - as if made of balsa wood, cheap and thin... a breakaway world.
usually my dialogue fills up that space like sonar, bouncing between me and tree, me and the past, me and some-thing.
when it's gone is almost nauseating... the space is immense and i have no anchors, no weight to keep me from drifting off. it's almost as if there is nothing there at all.
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Mothdream...transform girl...into the moth who aligns with spirits.
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something is shifting in the nagual which unites all of us.... regardless of lineage, i notice the clues in the dreams of my brothers and sisters here. wei - it is good to have you on board, i catch your reflection in the water.
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Nice to be seen by you Moth
Always speak of what you see so I can learn.
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Yes Moth, I sensed it too. Funny thing Shamanka and Dreamways has mentioned this to. We are being drawn together for something that is coming. Thus creating a symbol is something we can use to identifly ourselves to each other in the coming times.
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Thanks for allowing me to read this moth.
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