Casual Conversation

[Billy]

Okay, so I read too many pages of Patrick Ness More Than This (You know--The Knife of Letting Go).  AND, I have a concentrated bout of synchronicity for half an hour.  THIS truly scared the wits out of me.  I said I was a pro at retreating--I did too.

I know what you told me about quieting my IMAGE is what I want.  That seems possibly key right now.  As much as I've worked around and wrote about doing this--I ask you kindly to key me about quieting my IMAGE.

I do not empirically understand, or otherwise--as if cognizance is wiped away on what it is to do that.

[Billy]

I am visited by the idea of fighting and standing up for the little boy that was picked on---that part of me.

[Billy]

Thank you serloco.  Answers that fast?  Amazing.

[serloco]

yeah i haven't forgot you. i've been away though. i have been surrounded by the hottest beauties in creation catering to my seemingly every wish.

not that our conversation isn't important its just they have been kind of pulling me away into dreaming and fantasy come to life.

will be back.

[serloco]

billy wrote:Thank you serloco.  Answers that fast?  Amazing.When you commented on posting when it was the right time to do so I took it as an indication of the Spirit. You saw the energies present and commented on them appropriately. Which was exactly the terms of our engagment even unspoken. Simply as the essence of this/that moment translated into words. Which, as you basically said, ideal concersation should be free and not forced nor demanded.

Now I travel a lot in body and spirit, to many different positions of reality. Vastly different. In words I can say that if I focused my gaze onto you from one of these positions for too long many different things could and would happen to you. Now I could control these things for the most part but many of them would scare the **** out of you undoubtedly. My spirit will not walk so quickly to and from every location but sometimes I need to shift my fluid attention into a suitable position even in order to make contact with you as you are. My ally could enter into you in a flash and do many things to you and your world. My ally is in my gaze and anything i gaze upon. 

That's just a couple of reasons I have not been around. My gaze has been in totally different configurations of reality. 

You mention the book of synchronicity frightening you. I remember that feeling. It led to the artistic manifestation in the harry potter movies. The Living Monster Book. You have to give it love first, and pet the spine. Before you open it. Focus first, listen, focus and open. Even answer any fears you have inside of you and what you are experiencing wherever they come from and form from, and answer them, move beyond them and into your answers, your solutions, your direction of attention. 

You are in motion. So too is the world around you.

bbl

[serloco]

billy wrote:Serloco, I finally understand PERFECTLY what was happening at the wedding reception.  Once I made up my mind to project my world AND DID NOT BACK DOWN people were stuck (or I stuck them in rolls of old imaging).

The persons that stole my energy, even my dignity, were completely afraid and went on the offensive, and from what I know behind my back.  What happened as it unfolded should have mortified me, but these sisters with money and reputation defining my place DID NOT HAPPEN.

I could not understand why my wife acted exactly the opposite of what I would expect (A linear movement starting with anger towards tomorrow's divorce papers)  NO, I scared the people shitless that were my confrontations, and lifted the person's who were genuine goodness to me high to the sky.

   When my wife tried to move back the other direction of usual disrespect, I vocalized the flavor of the situation above, and realized to stay my position.  THAT is when it became crystal clear.  The confrontation with my daughter was messy, BUT she would not leave me go-- AND finally hugged me-- something I tried to get from her for many years. 

    I kept telling myself if I had to do it over, I would have done EVERYTHING exactly the same.  I realized WHY that was true.   JESUS FUCKING CHRIST (LAUGHING SERIOUSLY THOUGH  HELP MEYeah it can be easy to reset our old imagery. These are the items of our world, and they are all the values that our tonal knows of. One of the teachings in dreaming i use as a teaching in stalking. They are not separate. Focus onto any item, person, place or thing, even feelings, abstract ideas etc. And examine each element closely, and all the values that make it what it is. See this is all inside your attention and is connecting and forming your world around you, aligning it into it's form. Attention is a wonderous thing and it can focus onto any element of reality, or energy that it seeks to focus on. It does it all the time. You can focus on the elements of any object in your reality and begin to form the energy inside of yourself, reforming your knowledge of any particular thing. There is a position of awareness in this practice that sees as your idea shifts so does the thing itself change. It takes some stalking and gaining power in this ability to set any object into the dream you wish in any way you wish it to be. Even your awareness of what reality is can shift inside your attention, and your attention itself is the bridge to this formation or alignment/manifestation(however you see it). The value you set is the value you align. Any knowledge you hear and follow, activate, becomes the new addition to your enegetic flow-play. stage set, etc. Just by being aware in this way you can know the battlefield before you enter it, if it is a battlefield you are setting. You should know the energies active in the moment if you listen and look at them. And even as you do this you are setting the moment, and working with the energies present. It takes practice to be able to weave at will, and you need connection to all things directly, through your own attention. You need now, without separation, without then, or apart. You will always set the future and the past through the now. With direct connection a simple answer of energetic awareness to any problem will be passed imeidatiely to any source present and be voiced and acted upon right away, from the moment it was set into the stream of active consciousness. A stalker can thus sit behind the scenes and direct the play etirely. Using his own attention and awareness to move the play along.  To manifest the form. Time is the essence of attention. Now is where you stand and the place from which you will enter out from and into the next setting. The next setting is within you now if you look closely you can see it. It is the values of your attention as you focus onto anything. You can even clear them entirely, and refill them. Absorb them, copy them, retain them, set them free, reform them, let them be, leave them and reenter from nothing something new. But the course is in your attention right now. Reality will form around you, and into you, to make active this light.

[serloco]

Imagine a book, a reality that has surrounded you your entire life knowing every detail about you and all things. Imagine that it knows of all ways of reality and how to accomplish any path or outcome. Imagine giving to the book that which you will receive. If you open an ignorant and disgusting book guess what the first page will read? Can you reform your judgement of the book, about time itself, and have it flow into the new cast? Can the book see you? Guess what a free flowing book of all time and awareness will tell you at any moment at any page when you focus into it? Can you see the connection to infinity even within a 'small thing' and can you make what is small into something incredible? It's YOUR awareness that is setting your moment.

Any book for me written exactly how it was written and when it was written too. That book leads to that exact moment, right now, as it is being made and every moment that led to it's creation. The book is not yet written, and has been written into an infinite number of ways. The book is also not the book at all but a portal into any possibility at any time i am reading it. It cab flow and move, change forms entirely. I can have a book of all books and wisdom in creation, where the pages are made of flowoodtry, or fluidtree, written in poetic mastery. The pages can even align like a computer web page, closing and reforming as i focus my attention to different things. One book can reform history from many points in the future, all right now. Ever read the real living bible? Seriously? Do you talk with God in His Word? Can He enter into your Words? Crazy for you perhaps, is for some, not for me. How much power can you put into your words? The words in your reality? as you are reading can you shift your awareness of the book and allow it to shift with you, or do you hold yourself to the normal experiences of reading? Does the title 'book' tell you all that a book can be, is, and has been?

I have taught ancient masters, famous ones, how to create their works, in the here and now of my life. I have crafted great works containing the essences of the most powerful spirits within their very pages. i do this through the channel, the conduit of all past existing within this moment. Anything i learn of i can place into the past if I choose to.

[serloco]

You see billy I follow the Spirit and I beckon it to me. It forms my way for me, and forms my intent into my picture. When I say to you I will give you knowledge on reading and writing then the Spirit will do so in the course of my action. There is much of it in the art and form thread i crafted in the stalking playground. This is my own awareness in forms of art. The writings are my own energies inserted into the stream of time's formation and communication directly. If you want to learn more of writing and reading i suggest studying the forms of the book sculptures i posted. I like the book into metal, or matter, as well as the timeglass book, and the 'hole' book piece. If youy look closely it shows how one can read through any point in time, form any time from words, time into words, erase time and words, and reform them. much is there and they are my personal reflections into the streaming mirror of my ally's form and manifestation.

Even if I did not speak words to you my spirit would still carry out my intent. When I set my intent I set my outcome.

[Billy]

serloco wrote: but she shifted m e out of the world and became a tenant...She taught me... Perhaps one of the greatest things she gave me in that moment was the will to live and the vision to see purpose and wonder that is worth living for, and expands beyond our wildest dreams.  Always getting better.  she showed me how to find purpose, reason, desire and the will to live and so i did.

   You must have wondered when I would ask to to teach me this.

   I have recent depression that seems outside myself, but ever clobbering me just now... I am able to get outside a few times for separation, if only for awareness of my own pained heaviness.  I am not savoring as usual.

   Unusual timing to ask.

   I have a good cocoon throughout life.  Then out of nowhere when I am out of there, there is Joe. Alonzo. Serloco.  Of course I tend to my cocoon.  (I prefer that?--I'm good with that.)

[Billy]

The wisdom pains and responsibility that one obtains to in growth such as yours is truly immense.

[serloco]

//www.youtube.com/embed/bSXVQlg22dc

watch carefully at 10:48, here is a flier for your eyes to see. but watch carefully it is still a spiritual or nagual image and so closer you look the more you will actually see in the clip. however merely looking will still see the image somewhat. notice the energetic connection to the flier's body streaching into the man's consciousness. its like a tongue and a syphon, two ways.

[Billy]

I have mentioned having emptiness and dark night of soul; I had never had 'clinical' depression for lack of words until now.  Like many of my experiences I can almost be enamored with it a few moments for reprieve.  I miss having a happy moving thought or a burst of positive juices in response to an external.

   I share this objectively without emphasis on any self-pity that may accompany my state.  Though, I have not exerted concerted energy in decades in matters of mind.  I go with 'it.'

   I now know Joe (friend/teacher) probably went to difficult places in later years.  This isn't quieting my image at all, is it?  I spoke out of turn and confused you, when I said you answered AMAZINGLY quick.  I wasn't sarcastic as you interpreted; I wrongly thought I got my own answer to quieting my image via your vibe.  Truthfully I am so f***ed up that all I can do is laugh at myself. 

   Still, I hopefully have room to listen to any hardship of yours--- I now realize how endlessly deep the darkness seems if only an illusion (which I don't surmise one way or the other).

    Words are my best medium (outside of impromptu empiricism).  You mentioned a place you wrote about words (artform) where?

   
   Am I okay with no vitality? SMILING yet true.  Why bother with me?  STAY!

[serloco]

Thank you billy. I will address your question soon too.

[serloco]

I wouldn't dismiss the awareness as not coming from me. It depends on what the awareness or knowledge was you received to see if it is my own. I do send awareness to many places, and at different times. People often awaken around me just though my thinking and projective connection to consciousness. I do connect with you at times as well, but I do not recall what was sent or thought at this time.

You want to hear of my hardship? It is bloody, dramatic, tragic, torturous, on fire, everything lost and killed. Every nightmare i could find. It is probably the most tragic tale you ever heard. As well as the most inspirational, overcoming all adversity to achieve total victory. Saving so many lives and souls that you would most likely not believe my life stories. Unless i show you them or you are seeing or if you just trust or believe. Either way my life is great and real. I have many crowns, many eyes, and different wings in my form, I have a halo and even many horns as well. I have the most powerful talismans I have ever dreamt, and I make them myself. Learned them myself.

Art and Form in the stalking playground I think. Should be at the top of the stalking board right now I think. Much art and much stalking in there, forming the art to my awareness and will, forming my knowledge into form and into writings. my own teachings spoken through others, through out time.

I will comment about depression and my knowledge on these matters soon.

[serloco]

Try this billy. Open a new webpage. Open you tube or do some type of music search, maybe through digital dream portal mp3 site... focus onto the song before you listen to it, it's very easy with a new song never heard by you. forget any idea that it is already created. as you focus onto the name, or file, it sees you, it is aware and it is creation, alive, and will sing to you. It will synchronize to you. dance to you even. form to you. it is pure, and if you see it will form to communicate or even reflect your energy into form. perhaps whatever you think the song is, or will be, become it is so. maybe you can see that your idea of the song transfers energy into manifestation. are they angels of creation? is it God in a cloud? it's all happening now. who is singing to you, and right now what is reality around you? pay attention to your attention billy, as you move through creation it aligns to you your forms of motion and manifestation. Companion. Everything is a relationship. Stalk reality around you, stalk the stalkers billy they are all around us. It is the pure energy we need to dream, and our reality is built upon it, and it runs through everything. It sees purely, you and everything. It can form to anything, know anything, and i with you now even, as it always has been. Find it, and form awareness of it, it is in everything. Try looking for it if you wish. It can grant you any wish, any dream, and life, and any death. Any choice.

[Billy]

The artwork you displayed in stalker's playground was so very enjoyable.  Little things make me happy.  'Make everything a choice' GOODNESS.  Thankyou for sharing.

[Billy]

I went for top rock songs and randomly picked number 8.  That was "Good Vibrations" (Beach Boys).

Serloco, it goes without saying (though I say it here), all I can give you is my receiving.  I promise I will try to give you that with lots of heart. 

I will probably wake up tomorrow NOT depressed.      I'm sorry IM crying

[serloco]

Did you ever read the story of Carlos meeting Vincent? Great story, and I love Vincent's knowledge. Anyways he presented Carlos with a gift with careful instructions on how to plant the plant. It was a gift of power, however Carlos did not know and did not follow the instructions as instructed. Vincent was a man of knowledge and his carefully laid path would have led Carlos to a fantastic place undoubtedly however Carlos did not see.

Surely 'Good vibration's' is a well rooted song in your mind, most likely prerecorded many years ago in your world i assume? And surely you have some idea as to what is on the top charts of rock and roll being also prerecorded sets i assume. i was leading you into the nagual, of both music and of time, but you ran into your tonal, and did not catch the ride i left for you. While I can and have rewritten very popular art and music (time) I can assure you that rewriting a set like 'good vibrations' is a lot harder to do or find in the nagual then a new song you have no prejudgment of. It can be anything you imagine it to be.

Good vibrations is a good song, and can surely lift you up but i was guiding into another direction, more dreaming in this alive, aware moment of now that surrounds you.

receiving? giving? Do you know what happens when you give a man a good? he is good. do you know what happens when you give him power? he is good and powerful. do you know what happens when you give him knowledge? he uses that knowledge. what we give we also receive. what we sow so shall we reap. what we seek so will we find.

[serloco]

you know billy i sure do enjoy depression. my feelings of sorrow and loss. my hurt forms of love are still love. and the awareness of these feelings are very beautiful to me. i embrace them when they come but do not let them consume me. seeing the essence of something like feelings is truly a gift. our life is always a gift you know? did you know that everything is far more sacred then we often realize? Life is absolutely sacred.

[serloco]

one of the art's I have taught is how to throw energy into formation in various ways so that the abstract designs depicts perfectly the image your body is moving, painting, or throwing paint onto canvas. The energies will reflect perfectly the awareness you have within you into form. You can carefully intend your body's actions and control the reactions. At first you pay attention to your thoughts as you do things, like crumpling a piece of paper or something, and with control a simple thought of a dragon can be created perfectly into the form of the paper, with intricate details within the folds. If you think of angels and throw an orange onto a wall it will splatter into the picture of the energies that formed the action, carried through the action into form. It is a controlled synchronicity of inner awareness into outer alignment of perceptual form. Anyone practicing this is very adept in the arts. I posted a video in the art and form thread by a sand artist who does this quite well. I see here on two occasions use this energy technique to paint the picture very rapidly with seemingly no control yet the picture forms. A conduit painter, or crafter may channel many different sources into their attention and have the picture or art come to form from these sources. The artist need only move as their bodies move on their own through the channels of the awareness that gets painted, or more accurately cast into form. Its beautiful really. Any action you perform in this state will reflect the energy you have in you into artistic form.

[Billy]

Ms Siminova with sand was amazing.  I am almost awareness dead comparatively.  I understood the previous assignment--knew foggily that the kinship to art form of Ms Siminova was what was asked for.  I don't expect you to pull me, so I will try to pay attention to my attention so as to raise my awareness.

If I cannot, I will tell you.  There are sure ways for me to know soon.  However, my pattern in life is to show promise and then retreat.  Still...

Newbie is not a fair description--I have not made it out of the womb even.  Maybe I am finally ready to be born and begin 1 on a scale of ten.  But you know this.

[serloco]

I have seen you in the nagual billy already a couple of times. Your energy body acts quickly and sees clearly too. You accept it willingly and feel its wonder. However you let it go quickly too, and begin again backing into your tonal.

Your tonal set-up, in specific, has a quality that some people have. It's deadly dangerous to yourself and others, but often lies dormant for the most part. Your has not been dangerous in any way that you yourself probably recognized until now. This energy is like a voice to you, but more like a conscious energy that places awareness into you. In this case about yourself have little to no awareness compared to the woman artist. No ability, no skill, no power, etc. I have too had this voice and used to give it much attention and even power, trust. I would listen to it and it sounded right.

I discovered some time later a few things. First is that this pity inside I have is not justified. Awareness is a fluid thing and many positions exist. Believe it or not just around the corner and seconds away is another position, another motion, that you can move into. This voice may be even telling me what i am in this moment, or what i have been in the past even. speaking to me of my awareness position. I learned that i can stay in that position or move into another straight away. this voice became a friend for me that i would despite nearly every time. the voice would tell me you can't do that see.... and it would show me the energy and awareness that couldn't do it. the energy of failure is not so difficult to move into, or see and experience for a moment. or to preset in your body. yet i learned to see that this is just a fog being set in this moment, and is not even this moment. i leap beyond their reasoning, their logic, their controlled forms of knowledge etc, and form my own shift. i can move billy and so can you. you are moving now.

another thing you have, and most beings have i see, is the ability to see energy directly. to witness for yourself the energy, awareness, knowledge, etc, of this moment happening right now. you, with your attention can focus into any energy billyboy. and i have seen your attention do it a few times. you saw the energy of this blockade and this pity perhaps, this cloud being projected, and you accepted it, layed down at this position to rest. well do not get too comfortable there billy because i will shoot that voice down and fill the room with awareness and power around you.

start building your observation body. an awareness of your observer that can witness and see energy around you, consciousness inside you, passing through you etc, without being you, without accepting or denying it, but simply seeing it, apart from you and your world. See what the energy is showing you, feel what the knowledge leads too, listen to what reality says to you, and then decide to stay in this spot of power or this spot of weakness and draining. there is no reason to stay in any weakness when you can focus your attention into a new direction. your attention can align these emanations, this consciousness into any arrangement. focus your attention into an arrangement, a solution, an idea, even an impossibility but focus to see how it is possible. explore.

I see you seeing, and i see inside your attention sometimes. i can see you seeing my awareness of you, inside your attention. i see you seeing some great knowledge too, and some powerful awareness too. do not stay put but act on what you see. when you see someone dreaming a feat or ability focus on it, and see how they are doing it, see how you can do it, not how you can not do it. imagine a way, any way, that brings you what you want, see the position you want to be in. see the path into that position.

i have met many beings billy, telling me i cant do what they do, i am weak, pathetic compared to them etc etc etc. tortured and abused by these tyrants, i was just as they told me i was. i did not give up. every step of my way out they were there to stop me, block me, and hurt me. i bled and i cried, and i fought, and i lost many times. i did not give up. i knew i would win. my spirit will be victorious. i deadened their words, and blackened their actions, and flew straight through them. no longer could they tell me and succeed in telling me the way things are, were, or will be. i defied their every word and action, their every command until they were forced to ask me what's next? my spirit prevailed and now is set to succeed, to win, to find, to move. there was no better teacher for me then these tyrants. i learned that i could seek any answer, any truth, any way, and succeed in that way against ALL opposition. now bullets fly through me, even hitting their perfect mark, and then fall away to ground and dissolve, or bend around me, disappear, or turn around and shoot the attackers instead. i can turn their guns into weapons that fuel me and convert their energies into pure essence for me. i am unstoppable. i know the tricks and tools of the wicked, the most appalling creations in existence, and i know how to diffuse them and erase them, and turn then into something good.

knowledge billy, is power. do you know what happens when you apply 'every good deed is punished?" pretty obvious right. well what happens when you instead appky good knowledge to good deeds? like saying good deeds are seen and rewarded by the world around you? guess what happens? where do you want to stand your ground? can you look at a negative form of energy and not accept it? not aplly it to you or your future? its right now a choice you know. can you look at a nagative form of knowledge and kill it, or turn into something positive? can you aplly counter knowledge? form a new awareness to move beyond it, around it, through it etc? or do you stay at the wall set in front of you and go to sleep the wall that stands before your dreams come true?

[serloco]

serloco wrote:
i have met many beings billy, telling me i cant do what they do, i am weak, pathetic compared to them etc etc etc. tortured and abused by these tyrants, i was just as they told me i was. i did not give up. every step of my way out they were there to stop me, block me, and hurt me. i bled and i cried, and i fought, and i lost many times. i did not give up. i knew i would win. my spirit will be victorious. i deadened their words, and blackened their actions, and flew straight through them. no longer could they tell me and succeed in telling me the way things are, were, or will be. i defied their every word and action, their every command until they were forced to ask me what's next? my spirit prevailed and now is set to succeed, to win, to find, to move. there was no better teacher for me then these tyrants. i learned that i could seek any answer, any truth, any way, and succeed in that way against ALL opposition. "Long Live"
I said remember this moment in the back of my mindThe time we stood with our shaking handsThe crowds in stands went wildWe were the Kings and the QueensAnd they read off our names
The night you danced like you knew our lives
Would never be the same
You held your head like a hero
On a history book page
It was the end of a decade
But the start of an age

Long live the walls we crashed through
How the kingdom lights shined just for me and you
I was screaming long live all the magic we made
And bring on all the pretenders
One day, we will be remembered

I said remember this feeling
I pass the pictures around
Of all the years that we stood there
On the side-lines wishing for right now
We are the Kings and the Queens
You traded your baseball cap for a crown
When they gave us our trophies
And we held them up for our town
And the cynics were outraged
Screaming, "This is absurd!"
Cause for a moment a band of thieves
In ripped up jeans got to rule the world

Long live the walls we crashed through
How the kingdom lights shined just for me and you
I was screaming long live all the magic we made
And bring on all the pretenders
I'm not afraid
Long live all the mountains we moved
I had the time of my life fighting dragons with you
I was screaming long live that look on your face
And bring on all the pretenders
One day, we will be remembered

Hold on to spinning around
Confetti falls to the ground
May these memories break our fall

Will you take a moment, promise me this
That you'll stand by me forever
But if God forbid fate should step in
And force us into a goodbye
If you have children some day
When they point to the pictures
Please tell them my name
Tell them how the crowds went wild
Tell them how I hope they shine

Long live the walls we crashed through
I had the time of my life, with you
Long, long live the walls we crashed through
How the kingdom lights shined just for me and you
And I was screaming long live all the magic we made
And bring on all the pretenders
I'm not afraid
Singing, long live all the mountains we moved
I had the time of my life fighting dragons with you
And long, long live the look on your face
And bring on all the pretenders
One day, we will be remembered

[serloco]

Oh but what of the vampires? the black ones who suck into them the life that surrounds them, as a black vessel collecting rays of the light around them, activating within them, carrying them into your life? Well what does your life say they are billy? it is your life after all on the canvas is it not? i love the vampires i do, very much so. I am also one, but not just that. I am a sorcerer first. I have life and death inside of me. Many lives and many deaths. I am complete and pure life, as well as complete and total death within me, the life of life and death. And so what of the empty one's to cast? to set into form? well i had some struggles in the world of darkness with certain vampires of dark. they wanted my power and ability, my life and soul, for them, into them, and with my life they wanted my life's work for them. for their credit and their glory, and their greed, and for some their evil. I am master to them at this time, forewarned them that my life is freely given to you, and my teachings and ability yours, as your is mine, however if you try to take from me something in my life, to steal it from my own ability, to drain it or to kill it, yet keep it for yourself, or cause horror in my world with it, without leaving into your darkness to use it. I will change the life that is within you, as it is my life that is casting your darkness into form and coursing through you. I will take you into hell and you will hate it. Like a thief in the night i will steal the life within you the world you possess and set into my own way.

FOO FIGHTERS LYRICS
"Hell"

This state I'm in
A place I've never been
I'm dying to meet you here

Come break this skin
I'll let you sink right in
And show you everything
See you in hell
See you in hell

We'll gather around the fire
And I will lead the choir
Sing Farewell
See you in hell

Come break, my spell
Well down the wishing well
We'll find some time to time to kill

I'll be, right there
The buzz inside your head
The whole electric chair
See you in hell

We'll gather round the fire
And I don't need the choir
Sing farewell
See you in hell

[Billy]

I am glowing.