Casual Conversation

[Billy]

I got the Morissette that proceeded my corresponding post.  You fill me.

[Billy]

I did the music thing right TOO---Song by A-M-E "Play the Game Boy."

[Billy]

I did not realize how ready I was for you until now.  Thank you for letting me onto the battlefield.

[serloco]

You may remember don Juan's teaching to Carlos not to follow the allies of the night that lead into the evil, if they are even present. That some have mimicked the nagual's call, as well as other calls. But to follow the right voice, the right conssciousness, set the way you intend. of course this too includes not setting these forms of allies for sure. but don Juan's voice has been within me as of late, and so I heard his allies leading me astray into the night. it was calling in my own voice, a voice of power that sets the way ahead of me. I know full well how to erase these voices, these calls, from forming into my way, and from the setting the way. I was on my way into an ally spot I have set to get me what i want, in this case some ally herbs.

On my way an ally whispered in a 'setting or casting voice of knowledge' that these allies are devils worshippers, and demons. I laughed at this ally, knowing full well my own knowledge, awareness and intent, of both allies and demons. I have well traveled these roads and these ally forms. I have found such feats and power from them that i feel very powerful in the presence of these beings, and not scared despite the ally's intentions. my consciousness streamed through my great power and ability, my relationships with Satan and his demons. I have the flame of death, immunity and respect I have from these beings. My fire is pure, black, red, and white. I have a flame of resurrection. SO I looked into the future of allies standing around our spot. I set them to be demons of Satan for a moment and listened to their words. Well now all the paths they had led into hell, and all the power they set led into hell, and given to hell. All the advice, carefully laid, crafted and set in sneaky and subtle ways all led into hell. I answered every one of them as the angel within me. And stopped in their tracks every word they cast, and sbuffed and corrected every energetic flow they cast. At first they ran from my words, and hid even. They came back with new answers and new knowledge, but again i answered the truth. Finally one said to me, and aloud to all to hear, that there is no point in trying to drag a man to hell because he already knows the ways in and out of hell, has been there himself and freed the people there, reset his relationship with Satan and his demons, and has full immunity. He has every answer. They all laughed and smiled at this, and supported now the perfect forms of knowledge i gave them and now My name is Derekh now, here, in this place and time.. Yes with an H. All of this is my mind, my awareness position, the energy i set before entering into the moment i 'filled', or cast, set, entered into. The beings present merely spoke and acted from the positions of my own awareness, whatever that awareness is, was, and flows into becoming. I can see it beforehand, because it is inside of me, in my attention, and thus when i set before me i am a prophet of form and motion, my energies manifest the time.

I am happy you are learning billy. i am glad you have glow, and that you feel it inside of you. Glad you take the chance offered to you. Just remember music, and life, is not just the one new thing you found, nor just the old thing you found either. it is much much more. it is not even just whatever you can imagine it to be but far beyond your current reach of imagination. When your awareness sees that your one version of reality is not the only one, and another form comes to surface there is a unique vantage point that is present HERE, that shows you that one thing can become something totally new and different, something unknown and free, this momentum can lead you into your freedom every tinme you study closely this fact. See that music is this, and yet it is also this, even right now. You will begin to see that music is all things, or can be all things, anything, and everything else in your reality is no different. this hidden potential is within everything. purity exists as the building block upon which all things rest. as you shift your idea of music it can shift along with you to the exact moment you shift, riding you as you shift, free flowing to your conscious awareness of reality and what it is right now. but remember that so to can you set it into place, and have be stable, cohesive, and even as you used to have it set. you can become fluid, or you can rest and set down on stable ground again, so that reality will not shift as you do but remains solid until you decide to take action, to become fluid again, to carefully set the stage. you do not need to listen to every spark of consciousness that enters into you, and not from every source either. learn to choose, decide, set, answer any problems within you, and set the channels yourself, both in your mind's directions, (which is your awareness) and the forms of your world within you that down into the places you allow them to set. Real is within, itis what you you define as 'real'. Stalk what is real to you carefully and learn to set it with a choice. What is real is within you now, and whatever it is that think is real is what you will set as real. Are limitations within you real? If they are i suggest building the pathways again, around, or through these limits. abandon them. do not stay. give nothing to limits.

[serloco]

billy wrote:I got the Morissette that proceeded my corresponding post.  You fill me.Ok there seer billyboy. You saw that my ally, more is sette, was willing to dance for you. I knew this too, I asked her, and filled her with the energies for this moment as a scout. I set this guaranteed configuration for you and you found it exactly as i laid it for you. I also opened a way for you to produce your own new music. new artists, new forms of allies for yourself. You took the alanis song for you, coolness, and you then produced music i hqave never seen from yourself.. I am stalking you billy, a stalker stalking me. I see the pure awareness inside you and am bringing it out into the open. Thank you for answering this energy to me, showing me yourself and moving with me in this dream. It tells me you are not afraid to voice the truth in this dream and follow it openly. The path I have laid out for you you found perfectly with your seeing. Naturaly you are free for yourself and do not need to follow or cross any line you wish not to cross. If or when it comes to the point that I intend you far forward I ask that you show me what you find. ???  It is a nagual's agreement if you agree and only applies to the energy I use for you, us, in our relating through choice..

btw i have not commented on your book not for negative reasons. I have only read a little so far. It's harder for me to read someone else's works written  in a cohesive linear timeline, then it is for me to free flow with you and your energies as you are writting the book. Time ***? Not if you are me, or if you see me here. Feel free I do command. 
Time is already set in past one way, and so if you suddenly remember my pressence with you, in your past, in your consciousness as you write, just know that the nagual is present, now and in past as you may see in your very old memories anew. If you see 'me' in the moments you describe in your book, the actual events in your life as they take place, just remember that the nagual is present in past and future, now. the unknown. the hidden until... you asked ME to read your book. is this for reason of some kind? an act of spirit? naturally. all time is now billy boy..  Did I find you or did you find me? I remember Silvio Manual very well now. He was the Will of the party. Silvio is such a genius that he simply intends the mastery of awareness for don Juan and thus don Juan is a master of awareness. Silvio is the heart of the group, whatever he intends and wills becomes. He knows the name of intent and will. He is both purely. If he intends something his group will find it and the awareness and it will become known through the group and through himself. His stalkers will make it, and ground it into reality, stalk it's existence, whatever it is. He doesn't even have to speak the words, his will is set, he is will, his will is the world, his vision is his structure. Whatever his vision focuses may become imediately reality around him if it is his will to do so. Silvio is pure life and pure death for his party. Often people could never remember his face or many of his actions, like he was invisible to them. He could do anything to the world in plain sight and have no one know what even he did or that it was done at all, despite it being done and even still present. Totally unnatural things would become completely normal and accepted to his world when he wanted them to be and then even completely reversed again and forgotten, erased from life, or rewritten. He was like often a shadow upon which noone knew his name. A master puppeteer who could spend hours with you, even days, and yet left you never knowing he was there at all, or maybe he left a vague memory, or a trail for you to follow, while knowing the exact moment you would find it. From a full spectrum he could block any light, or allow any arrangment of light to set. Quite astounding.

[Billy]

For others who may be observing, serloco has displayed acumen of prior knowledge to my needs and thoughts for two weeks.

Serloco, the Alanis Morissette verse that mirrored a post of mine to come, said "Why would you talk to me at all.  Such words words were dishonorable ad in vain.  The promise as solid as the fog." 

You were telling ME of my shallow words.  Joe (LONGTIME friend/teacher) put THAT this way constantly asking me when not grounded to reality:  "Is that the story you tell yourself?"

You are the only person to ever see my book--maybe the last--  Whatever, I am good that it was you. (So much bio was exposed as the FICTION it was later in the book-- in case if you found it too disgusting.  AND it surprisingly TURNS in point of view.)  As usual you beat me to the punch mentioning it as I was going to.

   I should be able to create some wonderful space now.  I live VERY simple.

[serloco]

I enjoy crafting gourds for allies to live within. I make many of them, and they often travel between them all. I like to craft one and leave it open for them to see, and then offer to them freely and see them jump into it. Some gourds you can jump into as well. Depends on how you craft it really. The more precise the more precise. You are crafting an ally.

I entered one today, in a way, I wondered before if the music was my own here. When I got there the unknown was in in my attention as I focused onto the song sung "I am your's...." and many other things we were thinking together, seeing our power spoken in glorious song. The ally surrounds me, and walks with me here. I have set my lines for now.

[serloco]

yeah, I only read a little of your book for now. and so I have done much of nothing so far. even when i watch an old video I am right there with it, as she speaks in it, and I can change it right then and there, now. or i can just watch it from different points. let it be whatever it is without interference or direct connection. let her dance her song or sing together if she pleases, maybe she hears my song and sings it now? the possibilities are endless.

[serloco]

i say 'she' because reality is often a woman for me, feminine. fertile. open and free flowing.

[Billy]

Derekh, I absorb, will be gracious and make it mine.  I am slow-- there will be no sense of hurry-- a long, long show.  If posts are ever far spaced, I intend that we are connected until I would ever intend otherwise.  Since I am connecting to myself, and my attention is on good energy--we are good.

[Billy]

I am going to focus on building my observational well-being body from the very base to gain awareness of my observer as you suggest.

[Billy]

Not only will I learn in proper detachment, but I might also be able to give to you.  The mix of my highs swirling with lows is exquisitely painfully raw.

[Billy]

I sense I am going to acquaint you someday with your best friend (No, not me-probably your next guess is mistaken, and the next).  I think we are both very lucky (Mirror-like quality too).

[Billy]

By the way, I know you had to cringe at my impudent carelessness with the Beach Boy song.  Sorry--I was overloaded.

[Billy]

Gaia.

[serloco]

Last night I gazed up the big moon shinning over the city. I didn't fully recollect all the perceptions I have of her but knew all of her is there. At first the space around her started sparkling as tiny diamond stars twinkling around her, hundreds of them materializing. I loved it immediately. Magic touches my heart strings with joy. I thought it's not enough I want more! A feeling of course. She then made a lovely bright golden star flare up for a couple of seconds and die out. Then my allies started firing some castings themselves and some even brighter stars flared. i thought it was great, no doubt, but wondered why my own castings were not as bright? I found my attention focused then to make one of my own and it was the brightest of all. silly i know, such catering, but so beautiful. I walked away for minute to grab a coffee and looked up again to see her pulsing bright waves of moonlight out from her flowing into the universe, one after another. Something I had never seen although it seemed so natural.

I have had the moon take a few different forms visually. Quite notably I recall her as a white lotus flower, petals curved around a drop of blood, with rays stretching out through the dark night. I had a book then I would draw my different moons in and their properties. We would turn the rays to paint, colourful rays of moonlight of a full spectrum of colour and form. I remember I was once pious and righteous, and was performing a cure for cancer in a circle of sorcerer's. We had different forms of knowledge we had placed together and were also working and setting the future for this cure manifested into physical forms. We laid out bridges, horizons, into the world to harness, transform, and send energy and intent. The moon then, looking as the priest-prophet of God looked out into the night and saw a holy cross moon that night. I had never seen one before the very religious night. I have once intended one again and saw it again.

There are of course halo moons, pentacle moons, diamond moons, and pretty much anything.

I have thrown the moon from it's orbit on a few occasions, having it float around my sky. I enjoy grabbing it with my attention and shaking it around. I have on a couple occasions altered it's size, and pulled it closer to the earth.

I once lost my moon and could not find it. I searched for it all of the night and could not find it. I went a little paranoid then and ran into my house seeking a solution. I would have lost my moon. I remember a war of some sorcerer's once in a newly formed world. Some wanted the stars and some did not, and we fought about it. They would disappear, and then reappear later, then rearrange into special configurations. Some of them were terrified of this, and didn't want to lose their stars. Some of the people were adamant about no having stars and would cast them gone many times. Finally I got angered because i could hear and feel all the people present in this realm. All the terror and panic of the people, who many of whom were not trained as warriors. I cast a curse onto some of the sorcerer's then who would not listen and kept casting away the stars into void nothingness. I cast away their stars never to return in their sight, and even us others can see them but not for you. The fight ended and my curse was strong and had set well. The people no longer were in terror. Later one of them came back to me, a woman seeress, i heard her voice in the crowd around me as some were speaking of the stars. She said I no longer see them, and I could see her attention focused on me and the energy inside of it. It was pity seeking my compassion, and it was in a humble form. I took pity on her and examined the memories of those times to review them and see if i was too harsh. My soft heart gave in to me then and i restored her sight of the stars to her. We had very lovely time together in our past and i had saw her beauty greatly, I was sad we entered into battle when we did, and just the presence of her energy brought back to me our love. I am sure that was exactly her intent too. I think that makes it even better, to agree.

[Billy]

PERSPECTIVE*   Billy is in a little world, with sometimes penetrating imagination.  He really does love himself.  He has no friends, no family (his daughter most probably won't ever talk to him again), he has no income, he has no goals--- yet he is happier than 99% of humanity.  I think if someone took away espn (sports TV channel) I will feel some minor loss.  I feel big and small because I am real, in a world where I have yet to know anyone as honest as myself.  I had to chuckle when you spoke of taking me to hell--fear never felt so warm to me.  I really did laugh internally--I am in hell--I am in heaven.  You move me Dereckh==my emptiness I mean.

    Sure, you have power to use in ways I might not understand---but that is not where we are going together.  A time may come when we part.  We will part being better persons--you a better vampire, a BETTER sorcerer.  I am a freak.  I mean that in the way of a Secretariat, a Tiger Woods, a Jim Brown, a Babe Ruth and also part eccentric.  I do NOT want ANYTHING more than what I have right now.  DO YOU understand that is essentially true for me?  THAT alone makes me a freak.  You come to me so naturally--AND it is a beautiful thing.  I love how I don't need to read more into than that which you give me.  So you can forget sly suggestions if that suits you.  Tell me openly as you do so well.  Recognize my humanity--that I will dangle without a clue at times---BUT mostly I will get it.  My life has had large cycles concerning ups and downs.
Two periods of over six months, where I did not want sleep---could not wait to jump out of bed with greedy lust of life.  I had downs to match.  I love that all the growingin life  has an upward trajectory. I wondered if it was possible I could crash--I did not care as much as that is possible for me not to care.  I only know I get higher all the time.  I wait patiently for that next cycle.  I see the wonder of how I am learning to absorb pain.  I think about absorbing the world's pain (a first for me).  I HATE MARTYRS === I DON"T THINK LIKE THAT------I HATE PITY---PITY IS the ONLY sin I can think of.  I have it too, I guess-NOT OFTEN.

    You are BIG.  I like THAT.  I am little.  I like THAT.  You are full--I am empty.  I don't need to learn--I just learn what I do.   I don't think you feel a need to teach me--you just do.

[Billy]

My apologies in the spelling your name incorrectly.

[serloco]

Keep in mind vampire for me is the fullness of life, and the emptyness of death together. Many forms of ancient sorcery evolved into a vampiristic form of utilizing both life and death, setting both positive and negative energies into formation, or castings. Casting from shadows, or nothingness, jut the activity of life, or awareness and perception. Through draining the essence of a form, one may place within it any new form, or controlling the life, awareness, knowledge, placed within it. It is not a blood draining action, but an essence draining action, that can have the equivalent result as stopping the world, or transforming any thing. Activity and inactivity, of totality of life and death. Vampiric awareness can stop any world, and reset it in the absence of that life, the world of darkness. With the right mixtures of life, or awareness, then the dream come to life is of beautiful nature. It is not blood, it is essence of life and death. The activity that forms existence into shape, and utilizing the different forms of life and death. And the clearing of life, through death, and applying new life in its clearing. Vampirism is a small part of what i am, I merely seek to be a master of both life and death.

I wasn't threatening you. No, I would not do that. Just showing a song I once sang in a dark place. It was an older curse too, one I haven't used often. Just on the people I described before the lyrics started. My life is much more pure now. I do not have such contamination in my 'vitae'.

My form of vamprisim is a fusing of both life and death of the ones in embrace. Whatever is being embraced. We take elements of our lives and keep them, and can let go of anything we want to let go of. Our death retains our life shapes even as we venture through death into the next position. vampiric sorcery is a wide study, and yet is only a fraction of sorcery. Have you ever heard of draining an iob of its energy and getting the essence of that dark energy, that purity unleashed? Have you ever heard of "placing your 'body' onto it's body to move it"? Carlos speaks little of these things but they are so vast. Carlos drained many beings for their pure energy. don Juan didn't recommend using your energy to fill them up again but I find it an incredibly powerful act. can turn monsters into angels. hurricanes into peaceful artistic weather. I have seen hitmen that with their perceptual attention could instantly shift a wild monster or terrorist into a loving peaceful contributor of life, with one shot containing death, and the right mixture of life, or "shift of awareness". A vampiric assassin trained to 'turn-over' hostile garbage life forms, with the power of life and death in his eyes. crazy i know. it's that pure spot, where life is indifferently aligned. That void shadow of where life comes to be, to move and dance into form. And there in it all is the ally, the everything and the nothing.

[serloco]

i have learned a very ancient form of vampiric necromancy. allows me to draw life from the dead, and interact with their awareness directly. a collection of all the awareness of all the living and dead both. it contains every moment in their lives as they happened. have you ever heard of Florinda Donner say that one could recapitulate the nagual's life if one wanted to? It's very much like this except with an open and active bridge between the spirit/life and the present moment. when i say draw life from the dead i mean to say i draw their awareness from them into me, and even mix, or merge. embrace. i enjoy hearing and seeing sound like great savants, and painting magical wonders. learning incredible feats from a source that knows all life forms. yeah, i have learned resurrections. in mix master school some of learned how to create matter that channeled spirit forms into fluid animation of physical matter. Spirits could both control the forms of the matter in motion and could cast their forms into them, as you looked at the faces of the spirits within the form shift from face to face with the focus of attention and intent, you could see their thoughts, their consciousness with your eyes in the formed matter. we made much of this, many states of spirit matter.

[serloco]

Do you have the awareness and power to obtain any goal imaginable and exceed beyond your imagination?

You are happy being you, and that is fantastic. I am the same way. I love myself. But.. and this is a big but here.. do I want to expand myself? Do I want to exceed beyond who I am and grow further, and into unknown possibilities and powers? Do I want to enrichen life? Am I so happy with the way I am that I cannot exceed further? Will I ever stop? I can do so much.... I thought this years ago ....satisfied .. and many years before that etc.. the same. I now look back satisfied knowing that I am always so small, always growing into what is larger. I exceed myself into the vast infinity that surrounds me.

[Billy]

Thanks for the elucidation.  Of course, you just did the beach boys song on me.  I ORIGINALLY understood that what you were talking about was to draw energy from form to compliment or benefit your own.

Now thank you so very much for coming to the essence.  I wrote to the lay person in my book so I don't spell it out all the way, still your question is clearly addressed.  Throw the book away.  We are there.

   A Russian immigrant worked for me painting houses.  At his wife's funeral he had me at his side as his very best friend--of course I was honored.  It was cold, and I shivered a couple times as the casket was being lowered.  He took off his jacket and wrapped it around me as if I were his favorite child in front of the scores of people and even cuddled me.  That is a very moving picture in one's mind and I take it as such for its joy.  However, the realism of why people act as they do (what motivates) never escape me.  Read into that what you want.  You are real.  {So for now I'll leave form alone as I continue--because I never was interested in shame as it related to the conventional world.}

   Derekh--the following image has been with me for many years:  An organism lives under a rock (his world).   One day it is out from under the rock (sees light).  Then sees water, sky, vegetation (each a new miracle).
Then sees the stars and moon (now expands to traverse the universe)  The miracles never end---never end.  The miracles themselves have become another mundanity as the organism found by reaching out for more.
{A zen parable tells of a boy who listens to another telling of his master's feats--walking on water, moving objects, etc.  This boy's master says to tell the other that he only knows the miracle of eating when hungry, pissing when his bladder is full, sleeping when tired.  (They are posited as falling under the same scope, and in a context of possible billion year extinction of earth and endless universes are certainly not inconceivably that far apart by my thinking).} 

   Anyway, I talked about how we look at perception in ways of 'ought and ought not'.  I say forget oughtness.  I look at is, and say it has no necessity and no meaning.  However is IS.  (I don't demonstrate against THAT--though I used to demonstrate against the culturally holding it up with the oughtness.)
 
   My experience of taking shame (for lack of a better word) as that which is before its evolutionary manifestation in pre-human organisms (and its real biological physiological presence as a human organ akin to our stomach)-- WAS to use it as an instrument that went to its phenomenological origin.  It pointed to all of the unformed life, and to the slim odds of what did arise.  It pointed to the 'disadvantageous' positions of even those that did arise in Darwinian natural selection--(the 'disadvantageous' are the majority.)  I saw the tool for how it was meant as that which honed action and inaction on the singularity of being separate from all else.
I reduced it further.  MY ALONENESS was fine, only that I took it (because I could) that it should stand or not stand without the props of form (YOU REALLY HAVE GOT TO LOVE LIFE FOREMOST TO DO WHAT I WAS DOING.)
    I intentionally psychologically beat the **** out of myself and went along as the organism under the rock reached for more.  Emptiness finally came along and said no more Billy.  No answers, no nothing.  It took what sense of center and purpose from under me as a pronouncement of my newfound view of existence (which was anything but new).  STILL look at me, LOOK at you (or is it me looking at you?)  The photons of light combining vaguely interests me, and bose-einstein condesates interest me (I like my low-level interest in physics).  {I sense that physics has room for meaning (want to be alive) and meaninglessnes at once--perhaps where you come in too.  Yet, I don't want to TRY and figure out anything--at least not using much energy to do it. (ENERGY)}

   Now about Gaia  OH MOMMY OH MOMMY OH MOMMY (and laughing too)  {I love PLAY.  Let us teach each other that.}  Once in a while I like to think that things never should have existed in the first place, and the sorrow that is possibly born out of that which amounts to my ALONENESS seen in a negative energy light is what brings me to wanting sorrow washed away at the times of need.

   OH MOMMY.   Think of a little boy that got it wrong, did it horribly wrong and is brought to account.  Mommy does the proper sober and stern, and the boy SEES.  Naturally he is a wreck in remorse.  Mommy is SO BIG.
SHE TAKES HIM BEYOND--THERE IS THAT MOMENT OF ABSOLVING where instantaneously the world is made right again  NO NO-- much much better than right!  Gaia SEES that he must go off to PLAY.  It is the boy's penance, a joy beyond all joys. 

   Now, do you have some idea of what I can abstract with my concept?  It is not completely superficial-this is the understanding of what one can do with sorrow-- I'm just beginning getting to the heart of my being alive. 

   I don't know if I know exactly, but I know when I go, I sometimes go to something powerful.  If it matters to you that I have an image of you Derekh, I think you are Ms. Simonova of sorcery.

[Billy]

serloco wroteo you have the awareness and power to obtain any goal imaginable and exceed beyond your imagination?

 I tend to move inward from the vast infinity that surrounds me--then comes somone like you and I can manifest somewhat expansively.  I like the way that has been.  I have been good at keeping myself fairly healthy and attainng a useful order.  I could use a little help with some minor chest congestion (infection?) I've had for a month.  I don't like going to doctors.

But, to answer your question.  I would wish to have the relationship with my daughter be repaired?  I don't really know.  I want to know that HOWEVER is okay.  I've conditioned myself with detachment to believe I want peace without contingency to manifestations, conditions, results.  This is not easy as you know--but that has been my work.

I want integrity.  I want complexity brought to nothing.

[Billy]

Please erase my thought 'complexity brought to nothing'.  It was sloppy useless jargon.  I am struggling with my battles like all other humans-- I think I do that well. 

Also, I am not suggesting that you be anyway other than you are.  You might want to know that Gaia can be a wonderful mommy as I described.  I used Gaia just for you--and now I like it for myself too.

[serloco]

I speak of power, and this act brings power. Words are energy and pathways. A spell is right there in the words, it casts, conjures, summons. Sets us

and our future.

I am not setting myself larger then I am, or can be, in my words to you. I been speaking merely for my own benefit. It didn't take me too long to figure out the power of detachment from groups, allies, and self, is stronger then attachment to even a powerful group, and dependence to them. What is stronger a group of many together united, or a form built to win alone against all odds? To be attached or to be completely detached?

I remember learning to conjure in the normal world. My mentor went to turn on the tv and said about the weather (which i knew he could control) that the world was in severe danger from a total storm encompassing the earth. Fear hit me and the tv flicked to the weather channel to see a storm front moving in from every angle on the globe. "Holy ***!!" I said as it looked so totally and completely like a fucked up soon to die world. My attention was hooked and set into this world and I was freaking out. He laughed very hard and told me that he had just killed me and my party and that i had laid down and let him do so with no fight. He said all he did was hook my trust and attention and then allowed me to open the set way for you, I could have opened anything up really but I wanted to kill you. I immediately remembered in my mind my thought from earlier in the day when i wondered and indulged in the idea that he wanted to take me here and kill me. The fear felt so real in my mind at the time although i had forgotten it. I could see i had set this way, and with my nagual's awareness I could also see how to change it. I quickly with choice reset my awareness and intent, changing my statement about my nagual and the statement about the weather man's power, what he forms too and says, and the power i gave to the tv being able to hook any reality it casts into my world. I looked at the tv and the weather man happily glinted of a sunny warm day. With the tv we practiced opening and controlling different programs, windows, spirit forms, allies, worlds, communication and eavesdropping devices, casting machine etc. It was a great lesson that night.

How about expanding complexity to see that even complex things can be seen simply, understood completely and perfectly, seeen. Right then and there, any time.

I do stalk power in everything, and in myself absolutely, however I do not hoard all power and ability unto myself but share my life freely with those I relate with. I will not stalk weakness into another unless they have earned it. I will stalk existing weakness in people I help in order to fill holes and strengthen form.

To figure something out you can try, but try must lead to do. You can just intend to find, let go, abandon yourself to another task until you accomplish what you intended, even in the exact way you intended it. Not much trying in intent, more doing, but if we intend to try to do something we can intend to succeed, learn of it as we go, expand it as we do, and succeed all the while in our efforts. Try is almost to imply possibility of failure, and at times this may be true but soon you will succeed and surpass your failure. When I think of a feat i want to accomplish i do think and know i will accomplish it, but at times for difficult ones I can tie a line wrong and have to re set and relearn the correct configuration. When doing something totally new to me I may have to try to begin with, stalk and gain power as I learn, until I succeed. I always do succeed. Sometimes it is because I try. I do not know absolutely what is beyond myself all the time. One of the most crucial things for me, my observer, is to learn and see all the values i place into things, my actions, even the word try can hold power or weakness. And thus this energy is within us, moves us, into these definitive actions we set for ourselves. Infinity is a definitive journey.

there are a couple of other things you asked but I must go grab a coffee and a smoke for now.