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Three Roses
1. Creation! Dreams as art, worlds as dreams, ideas as songs. It was a dream of understanding, like revelations of new vistas new levels. What happened, is ( ), we talked that day, asked me bluntly why i dont do more sometimes...just kinda go along with the flow of things, and i responded well, actually, if we use say ( ) as an example, i used to dream more like he explains, with differences, before i joined RF. I used to have a few story dreams maybe one a month id write and lots of lots of doings. Which there was no reason to write down. And i didnt know the people, it wasnt people, but i used to learn and then actually do allot more...with people i had no hope of meeting. So she said so what you saying is your trying to stay in a different state more or less, and i said sorta...and she said well ahh is that good, cant you split it up a bit. And i said i guess...sure...why not. So...this dream came not to long after that maybe a day or so. So from that learning part, then there was a competition. The competition was an Apple tree, in a void, a world tree and the apples were worlds in dreamings. the competition was like gardening...tending the tree on one level...but again...the images were just for my ease of recall, it wasnt really and apple tree or anything as such. So, the task. On this tree, these ideas worlds...one is almost ripe...right now. Find the ripe apple, when its time comes, eat the ripe apple, be the apple thats good now. they all will be at some point...but now is the key. the next phase of this learning/competition was: the Tea Stage (shape/sage?) Man. To be...or meet...its not so clear now. But the next part was The Tea (stage/shape/stage) man. ( ), were you around this? I seemed to think it was so.
2. A star Terminal/Airport. (like star ships, and stars as ships) Moves? Allones...All ones? (hard to read). Shunt/Start/Stat? Rock. this abstract thing became...Rocky balboa, A boxer, me as the boxer, but not boxing...running up and down steps training, and punching the air instead of a punching bag. Was really funny...Was rockies face grafted onto my body lol. The amazing thing was, all of this training...was simply to see something new "1 thing ive never seen". I saw it, it had not form or description, but it was awe inspiring. Too bad there are no words for it lol. eye of the tiger! lol.
3. Airport Starships, moving. finally! took allot of staircase running. an Area world (i think this refers to a zone of dreaming) Tremor! The whole thing is shaking, moving, and this is not scary, its joyfull. The feeling was... A super low frequency sound, like 30-50 mhz. blasting that into one sears, which i did the other day, the tremor feeling in legs and body. It was that sound...like the root, the world, quaking and pulsing deep. I could feel the...blockages rupturing and flowing. Wonderfull! At some point, after this, i had three hands. I was with the dream group. their were hounds...like in the film tremors three...like the dinsasour like wolves things...thick shells. this was in the now empty starship/airport. things that had been open beofre...a bar, other things were closed, the beings gone. fighting...i picked up the lazer rifle that had limited amo...and stood up and slowly burnt through the shells and dropped them. Other people took more fmailair weapons like assault riffles and grenades...did the same thing. Cleared out the terminal, aliens the film style. guys and girls...even ( ) and ( ) had guns...was awesome. the gun i used took energy from me not outsid ethings, so i got tired but it was the best for puncturing these thing son specific points so their heat leaked out.
4. Silk screens. I have equipment, the frames, and i make these wonderfull, orange silkscreens in a 1950's style. Looks like art by Sister Careta kent, but its mine, i make it, its wonderfull, and i even sell some at an art shop. The one i do is orange with blue abstract clouds. A meeting of fans of the electric car. these guys added extra motors for no good reason, so ther eis less storage space and they cant drive to a star/dream they wanted. I think i can fix it (Remove ht epointless engine) but im not a hardware guy. It still works but they made it to heavy and this will affect the range.
5. I check the art shop...now its a magic shop! They make allot of printings of my authorized silkscreens in other patterns i developed... and this changed the shop from art to magic...as thats what the effect of so much of that was. Im not worrying about money, people really like these it seems...finally i amde something with my own two hands that is usefull...i feel...relief and satisfaction in workmanship.
6. Now we...me and someone else...i think ( ) or ( )...a female anyway...go to a fancy gift shop...or decorating. Never would bother never had cash to spend before that was in the pocket not in impersonal investments. We are in the electric car those enthusiasts dumped, and we got rid of the pointless inner motor...it was a bad configuration (this was sorceric). the person tending... was nice for once not can i help YOU. My ( ) comes in too. somehow, the sales person lets us in on a secret...sometimes these shops give gifts to valued customers or people they would like to be valued customers. By saying a few words we get three pieces. An ornate small end table, delicately carved. A huge yet dainty Vase...like made of rich earth with an amber like glow...and the best thing...three roses. Reall long straight stems...like almost half as high as a people. these are interesting...i look...they grew like this...i can see where they shaved off the root balls....thi was so we could not grow out own...but i dug deeper...one of them....in the little bit of root that was left, i coaxed...and it opened! In it were three...well, like onions! this rose from a stinky onion like bulb...was a secret. I thought there are three of us here, three onion bulbs...so we can each take one and plant it and have these secret roses in our gardens. At this point one of these people was ( ), cause now i worried if she could touch the onion without getting sick for some reason but i felt it was ok in dreams. The sales woman looked on, and she said I hope you respect this...curtosey, and dont go tell everyone the words to get these gifts for free...we would go bankrupt stop offering them if it was too widely known. As i now forget the words...secret safe not rude giving sales person...secret safe
7. Planets that were apples, in a painting of the sky. Wonderfull...orbits. Percentages. Some stars would form triple planets, some single. Long look at the odds...and they were complex...could hope for a triple but in the ones with that potential, might only get a single like our solar system. But sometimes one got lucky. Some stars...had like a 1% chance of anything, so it cant be said we on earth were so unlucky...venus and mars could change still...or be changed...might take some gardening...teraforming. And we...humans...can have benefit of all three in out "yard" some speciese only had one with potential so started off behind the curve. So humans...more lucky then they think, if they do a little work.
8. (all edited tonal situations...Was Pre event echoed in dream, then came unexpected when woke...challenging)
Edit: All edits are removing peoples names, and a section that was not specifically about dreams...and then having to re edit as i noticed i missed several sigh.
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Senear wrote:
7. Planets that were apples, in a painting of the sky. Wonderfull...orbits. Percentages. Some stars would form triple planets, some single. Long look at the odds...and they were complex...could hope for a triple but in the ones with that potential, might only get a single like our solar system. But sometimes one got lucky. Some stars...had like a 1% chance of anything, so it cant be said we on earth were so unlucky...venus and mars could change still...or be changed...might take some gardening...teraforming. And we...humans...can have benefit of all three in out "yard" some speciese only had one with potential so started off behind the curve. So humans...more lucky then they think, if they do a little work.
8. (all edited tonal situations...Was Pre event echoed in dream, then came unexpected when woke...challenging)
Edit: All edits are removing peoples names, and a section that was not specifically about dreams...and then having to re edit as i noticed i missed several sigh.
Wow, you really have big dreams, don't you? I really love the fantastical nature of this 'planets that were apples in a painting of the sky. I feel like I could paint this just from your description.
(also, sent you pm, off topic for this thread but related to your dreams)
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Well they are big as in long and annoying and hard to write for the time it takes anyway But yea, the symbolic parts of that, the planets, while not specifically usefull were usefull in more abstrac ways so that was nice
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Crossroads challenge, frustrating education
I am with two friends, i am going to find them. There are shifting scenes, like a coccon at the center of a silken web...the versions ****. Same basic scene, however. A crossroads, dirt roads, in the country. In one version it is arid, witha few scattered oaks along a dry streambed. In anothe rversion, it is more lush, and instead of oaks it is willow trees, and flower petals in the wind. And versions in between. Regardless of the version, its the same layout, a crossroads, and a site where a wizard/sorcerer and his familiar are just camped...waiting for something. I avoid them, go around, and meet my friends. It settles on a more lush version, and my friends are small like two hobbits. They arent warriors like me, not that they arent warriors in the CC scense. But i eman they have a gentler temperment...less skilled in combat as such. I think the wizard, and he feels evil to me, or his intent is, is waiting for them where they have to pass. I gather them and we go up the road away from the wiard who is brooding. Things get more energy then dreams. We are hunting, like rabits, and they skin them for the coats and to make a dish of rabit and melted cheese on rhye bread and stew. At some point, it gets too dangerous. A lion! A lion wrappe dina sheath of golden and purple energy, attacks. I cry this is beyond them, but they stand and fight with their little iron knifes as there slingshots are no good. The lion, it rips one open, before i can drive it off with my energy sword. Poor liitle hobbit! Im unsure what to do...im not a healer, not exactly. So the only thing to do, i know, is go to the strange wizard at the crossroads. I walk right into his "camp", and he has a small humanoid with him as well...mor elike a twisted gnome or imp. I say, i tell him i need healing, for my friend, and i will pay a great price for it, and it is known to be true. So he...does something that makes the hobbit alive without leaving his camp in the crossroads. Now i must pay...what exactly am i paying with he says, ominously. So i open my backpack, and pull out a translucent piece of paper...almost like parchment or japanese rice paper. This, i exclaim. This sheet will tell you something it is important that you know...that you must know to survive...important. He takes it from my hand and hisses it is blank! I tell him energy will write, and show him how to hang it on a wall of energy, like a window to other levels, that i make show in the crossroads. This is infact why he was camped here, to wait for it to open! But i dont open it, i make the gate show. "Hold it against the "wall" i say, press it and power will write what you need to know. So he does. I se the page blacken, like ink, and the answer forms. It says "Betrayal needs to improve" It not more specific then that. He hisses it is useless, and he will take my soul instead. But im on solid "legal" grounds. "No, no" i say. It was correct. (meaning he accepted this as payment, and he didnt like the answer so tried to take what he really wanted" I say...to myself, "this was true right now...this betrayal was a mistake" I mean say to msyelf, becasue as soon as he moved to act, i killed him, flayed him into strips of meat like the rabbit. I took much luminosity/meat. And also ate of his power. But not too much. Rolled it into my pack. then, i reasembled his form, and his helpers...but the helper seemed ammused...the imp...i just froze him mostly...he seemed satisfied by this turn of events...for personal reasons, being this ones slave. So i took it, and i re made the guy, then i vanished, and took the memory of what he lost, and of me away, so he was a much less dangerous...and dare i say it less evil guy after that. I returned to the dying hobbit. He had also tricked me in that he never healed, but thats ok, thats what the meat was for. I patche dit intot he hobbit. (also the lion was a sending from this guy...he made it cross the path he could feel we were on...he had been meditating like a spider on a web feeling vibrations). Then the hobbits are jumping, skipping, home. We sing a song.
Latter, and related tot his, someone, perhaps the wizard, perhaps me, perhaps the hobbits... someone "hunted meals too much". It attacks. (this part of dream was all energy hard to explain how energy lines attack but they do). Now its clear it was about the wizard, or something similar. It attacked too much, took what was not its for taking, and power itself, that had supported this being, it itself, attacked and destroyed him like a tame dog suddenly turning to a wolf and ripping out his masters throat. It reminded me...there is nothing tame about power. Get too familiar, too careless, to abusive...and it will kill the one being disrespectfull. Just like that.
A story of two lovers. A man and a woman. The woman finds the man attractive, and he can not believe such a lady would like him...he is a woodcutter it seems, something like that. He keeps his eyes down, but she keeps bringing him water, and food and speaking gently to him...until he is calm, and he kisses her one day. This lady is from somewhere else. At some point, her husband, who is a strong warrior of some sort, finds out, and mostly out of disgust that she dishonored him by sleeping with such a man (not that he really cared about the sleeping part as such) he falls upon the lovers, in the woods, and kills the wife with a single blow. Now im shifted a bit into the woodcutter, not completely. Like along for the ride in the awareness...and he (woodcutter) runs, crushed and sad, into the woods. I dont think he died. But i know he never left those woods...ever...again. He became a wolf, or something, an animal. Searching the woods for his love afte rhis mind had gone. It ended, as a story or fairytail...that if one goes, to that glade, with the fallen trees, one can hear, a wolfs howl, that sounds like a man grieving, begging, speaking to the moon. I didnt like this story! Womans motives were what? Was more depth then in the energy seeing. Also, a hidden part was they both planned to go intot he woods to be free, the cutte rof his station, and the woman of the lout who claime dher and owned her without support. Like the husband was a spirit husband. See, the fairytail left too much out. At this point it was a book i was holding. And i tossed it down in disgust with thsoe aspects, plus i was a little sad...the being in that guy...even jsut close, had saddened me plus something of his feeling, the madness, grief as he fled into the dark mysteriouse woods struck a bit too close to home for comfort...as it was supposed to do i supposed.
On the topic of disatisfaction with written words, stories, latter i resoved to fix something. I was a higher university student...in dream university continuim. something had gone wrong...i was falling behind. Fallen behind, and the root of it...the fix, i thought, was in a "lower" university...like highschool...setting. So somehow, i got the idea id sit in on highschool again, and this would give me the missing link to catch up on my university work. So i went, to my favorite literature teachers class. I came in mid semester, and there was a paper soon do. But i was just settling in, so i couldnt/didnt start it right away. I assume did get more time...because a few days wasnt enough. But it came time to turn them in, and she would cut me no slack. Said i would be failed. I got angry..waht is this ****, i came here to find what was missing further on, and now your adding to my pile of unwritten papers! I thought you wer emy friend, i hate you! Im telling on you. Im going to the principal i thought to clear it up hes still my friend i thought. I storme dout of class, and the teacher even removed herself two levels like intot he dream wall to avoid my anger was a bit disconcerting. I felt...betrayed, and i cant imagine i was survivable to look at at that point. I step through the classroom door. And...its another dream. A food/kitchen truck. Im in a character getting picnic benches ready. But the chefs, they come, do it all wrong, all hurried. They have a cannon that they throw lettuce into and it shoots out salads, real quick and wrong. Its confusing, but somehow, and i think i ended up cooking it myself...i have a meal. the meal i explained tot he armless man, chicken, coconut milk, rise, etc.
the dream shoots me back tot he highschool...like i just took a single step. But now im olding the blue ceramic dinner palte like i ahve in real life, with bits of food on it. So before i can storm intot he proncipals office, i really need to find a place to throw this away. So i ask the two secretaries by the principals office. They reffuse ot let me use the rubbish bin! And they are rude i dont have an apointment, and that food waste doesnt go here. WTF...tell me wher ei can go, but they tune me out. So now im really upset over a new thing. Now i got to get rid of the plate beofre i can complain to the principal to make the teacher lay off the work...so i can find the missing thing..so i can go back where i belong and finish my damn papers. Its getting so Gd complicated omg. So i find a LOWER secretary thinking they will help me. Same deal...they wont, and there is no where else i can see to go...i went all the way to the lowerst i could find! So i start complaining, possibly threatening, you bette rlet me throw this away, and almost whinning. The secretary...she reaches above her..their is a radio. She turns the music up till it drowns my speaking and looks at he rpapers wont respond. GRRRRRRR
But i stop and lsiten tot he song. Its faith no more "midlife crisis" First i dont care what it is, then i remember ( ) posted that once...hah, that memory gives me the space to take a chill pill, and say ok well...hmm, theres something to this in context, im dreaming, and this plot is going nowhere...i better just...consider it all out of context...ill calm down and wake up. And thats what i did, and got up for the day. lol.
Verse 1:
Go on and wring my neck
Like when a rag gets wet
A little discipline
For my pet genius
My head is like lettuce
Go on dig your thumbs in
I cannot stop giving in
I'm thirty-something
Bridge:
Sense of security
Like pockets jingling
Midlife crisis
Suck ingenuity
Down through the family tree
Hook:
You're perfect, yes, it's true
But without me you're only you (you're only you)
Your menstruating heart
It ain't bleeding enough for two
It's a midlife crisis.. It's a midlife crisis..
Verse 2:
What an inheritance
The salt and the kleenex
Morbid self attention
Bending my pinky back
A little discipline
A donor by habit
A little discipline
Rent an opinion
Bridge 2:
Sense of security
Holding blunt instrument
Midlife Crisis
I'm a perfectionist
And perfect is a skinned knee
Hook:
You're perfect, yes, it's true
But without me you're only you (you're only you)
Your menstruating heart
It ain't bleeding enough for two
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
It's a midlife crisis...
It's a midlife crisis...
Hook:
You're perfect, yes, it's true
But without me you're only you (you're only you)
Your menstruating heart
It ain't bleeding enough for two
(repeat and fade)
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Square Pegs
1. An elementary school, set in a version of the hemet valley... wher emy father taught, were scientology has their golden era studios, etc. The dream version has seasonal lakes and rivers...like real life. This is a stable dream location for me for the past 20 + years. In my dream version, there is a great rock quarry, and chanell that holds a river, that from time to time creates lakes and wetlands. In my dream, there was a moderate flood event, and some of the far areas near the mountains were swamps again. This was exciting, because in my dreams with the floods, and places to explore, come the alligators. The dream alligators, which are more like water dragons. I spent time looking for them, they only exist when their is water in this dream place. After i explore, and find a few dragon creatures and talk to them, i am going back to the school. Also i se water snakes...water moccasins? that is new and i don't like their presence. I have some job like art teacher, im not a regular teacher, and im not with the permanant staff of parents. Their is a near riot. Their is no longer money in the budget to pay for lunches for the students, and many parents are poor that's all the kids can eat, so they are tired. The parents say they should cut back on other things or GASP teachers take a few percent paycut. Teachers of cource refuse...its almost a riot. Their are pipes and sticks being grabbed. This us very chaotic, and i dont take sides... school wasnt being supported y community, on the other hand, the school had drawn up its gates and was indiferant to the students it was a game. I said screw all of you sleep in the bed you are making, and in a chaotic courtyard, i folded the dream around me like blankets, and when it unfolded i was gone, stepped through the fold in dreams.
2. After i fold out, i come to my house. I dress oddly for me! I put on shorts and sandals, which i dont think ive ever worn not even once. And a hawaian style shirt. Decked out like a tourist, i begin to travel...its almost like a disguise, but its comfortable as well. I travel, and there are trees. Its like im walking under a silent forest, and at other times im running along the branches like a little hawaiaan shirt wearing spider monkey with bare hairy legs and sandals. This is how i move...on paths then on another level along the branches...its important i do both at the same time so all of me gets to where i am going for some reason. My destination is....a shitkicker school, in the deep south. Why would i come here? Its so bad that people from the next county over are considered strange foreighners that they dont like...and im rolling up from california without a bible or a red enough neck. Im doing the same job as the last school...but im too oddball. I REALLY dont fit in here but i didnt at the other school either....so its a matter of degrees. But in a way this place is better...its so conformist, that anyone who wants a change or independant thought kinda flocks to hang out with me...the geeks, freaks, nerds, and even artistic types...in the other place, id only have maybe one group because there were more choices...im the oddest thing to hit this town/school since the two headed chicken at the state fair. Lots of time in the town, at the job at the school, becasue grudgingly, they needed somebody to play that roll and i was it. Actually like it way better then before place. Also, with these people, artistic, we chart worlds. Its hard to explain...find worlds by their line vibrations, and write them out like maps...this is the main thing i/we do its artisitc and musical and inspiration. It was better to ahve some accept and some not like then all be tolerant but not care play their own riot games like the first school...we got more done.
3. After charting, me and some students go to an even farther beyond place...but again, it feels like an elementary school. In this one i was more lucid...the farther i got from the familiar, in tonal, the more lucid and aware i became for some strange reason. Their is some tension here like the first school. But it snot only a school...it is on one level...on another, and they shift in and out, their are animals...mostly chickens, but also rabbits etc...the students in the school...are on another level lab animals or being milked for their eggs and feathers and even meat...but they are also in a school and those people are their teachers. again im in the odd outside/insider roll. Students here were more trusting, and also, the staff...the principal was a young lady, were the most accepting of me treated me as a part of the system...eating students/milking cows. That bothered me. So here and there, and some of the people that came with me, pointed out (Rf people) to the trusting students their being milked was a big part of the existance here. Slowly, but growing, all the students felt a rage like they were woken up to some betrayal...and i again, find myself in a riot. But its more like a revolution. The principal is scared, and some other teachers...and i open a way for them to leave and they ask if im coming with them and i say no it wouldnt be appropriate...and they see somehow i started this...but then im saving them. And the students, they want to kill the staff and they see me saving them...but we were the ones that told them. So even im thinking....who's side am i on? And im asked. the answer is no ones. Im on the side of to sound cheesy freedom, not anger or manipulation so sorry, not running and not helping to kill. Get the weird regard, but also more friends join from the former students and some of the farmer/scientist staff. But i leave them there once that place is stirred up. Who am i helping? Im not even sure.
4. I leave that place in a blue box with "Dr who" and im feeling lazy. We...are in a doll house...like a barbies doll house, sealed, floating in an ocean. i am half awake, watching a big screen tv. And he is sitting buisily writting as i watch tv. I dont have a remte controll...i have one of those slide devices like on the tv show "sliders". And the screen isnt show, its worlds/dream worlds, and im scanning through them all like a tv. And checking the local news for were my awareness centers itself. Waiting. Soething like a cross between a frog and a fish...but the head of a squirell...looks like something from the "live action" parts of spongebob square pants rises from the sea and stares at us in the window, and it makes a sound like a dolphins chattering but stranger. Now dr who stops writting and comes to talk to me...he has drawn a symbolic map from all of this, and i show him im holding the "slide controll" that anyone can use...and also...i have a small brass key, and he has a different small key...we wrap the keys in the map he drew, and i point the slide device at the wall, and its like the wormhole thing we jump in as we are ready. I see the squirell frog fishes face...its big 0 if astonishment...has the meanest looking teeth...as we jump away. then i wake for the day.
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Oh ry in eye ay - oh ry in eye ay
Oh ry in eye key ooh lay
Ka kay ooh lau ee - oh ry in eye
Say te lee ay vee show
Midnight sunshine silent thunder
Sky as black as day
Only a dream away
Chorus
Waking while you're still deep sleeping
Finding you're not here
Watching a dream appear
Tumbling through a thousand centuries
You don't know where you'll land
Its so dark in mythology
Treasures of history to be found
Near the legends of time
All the handiworks remain there
Only a dream away
Chorus
Greedy feeling wheeling dealing
Losing what you won
See the dream come undone
Stumble you may with the elementary
Lucky you got so far
All you owe is apologies
Measure the mystery and astound
Without taking up time
So the handiworks remain there
Only a dream away
Chorus
In out, hot cold, up down, young old
What a lot to do
Sharing a dream with you
Chorus
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1. A vast, sprawling airbase. I am a recruit, or in training, and it is hand to hand and weapons not flying aircraft as I usually do. I arrive in an old looking green bus, with a green military dufflebag full of my stuff, and am already wearing combat fatigues. I dont really want to be here, in truth, like this is something everybody has to do...a refresher cource on basic weapon skills/hand-to-hand. Many of us are early, and they have put out refreshments before we have to muster at noon. ( ) is here, leaning on the bench set up in the hanger, looks like shes texting someone. She sees me and a few others come in and puts down her phone and smiles and laughs and comes over. She asks if im hungry i say no not really, im a bit nervous about how tough what is coming will be. Im just sorta standing there looking around, and she goes and gets me a little styrafoam cup with some berry soda and a single cookie on a paper napkin. It is a big suger cookie, that is dusted with large grain suger crystals, and in the center is a nut like a macademion nut or cashew. She says she got me the one with the nut because im such a nut laughing. I kinda laugh....still nervous. A stern man says these are the last cookies before (suumllar? cant read word). I manage to take a bite. Who i think is ( ) says it will be VERY hard training...and she should know, she is the one doing the training and laughs. She was not lying! Martial arts, climbing those rope walls, shooting running around. Thats why i like aircraft i think...have air conditioner, nobody yelling to hurry up, And when i need to i can just pee in my little pilots bag dont have to hold it. Hard work sucks. lol.
2. After the training section, many of the themes carry forward progresively. I climb a mountain, Its like a flat top, and the edges fall out into a void...not a vode...a ball like sky. Something tells me this whole little world, the trees and rocks and creeks, is an elevated spot, in a sphere, that is 7x7 miles in a ball. A snowglobe...its like a snowglobe a mountain inside. Then, i remove from this snowglobe, and there is a man, an artist, showing me this rack, like a spice rack, in which he keeps the snpowglobe worlds he made from awareness. There are fifty in the rack. He calls them his "fifty states of awareness" making a joke about the fifty states of the united states. He points at a weird little copper dangling bit and asks me if i know what that is. I start to give a seriouse answer and he says "ITs the District of colombia" (washington DC) and laughs. He calls it that caus eits the key or regulates the fifty states see...how funny Now infront of the little awareness globe worlds are cookies...sugar cookies like the dream before, but instead of nuts there is a description written i colored suger for each globe. Some of the cookies are stars, hearts, moons etc. After some time...and i dont notice how it happens...im the guy! I was talking to him an older man being anoyed....and then as i stood examining the "states of awareness" i became him, or always was him. It was strange and gradual as out awarenesses became one subtle and unnoticed till i looked around and saw it was only me there, and i was that guy! Now there is a second guy who comes out of a door. ITs the comedian Don Knotts. Dressed as a soldier like one of those roles he played...an airmans combat uniform like the dream before. He wants to do something with the "states" and i wont let him...and he starts to go crazy kicking and screaming comically but crazy. Now a third figure, a being i just recognize as "spirit" the director of the play comes...he calmes don down and asks if he will, for 50$ come into the room with us and answer questions tell his story he wanted to access the globes for. He says "Hah mister you totaly ripped youself off...i would have done it for 10$"
3. A bus, a green bus, like the airbase style old one. The muslim girl ive seen several time son it, with the olive skin and jeans and desighner headscarf (just a scarf ot a veil or full body things normal western clothes otherwise) was on it. She sat next to me and we were talking...she was talking, about communes and communities of all things. She was also talking about resistance, and to her credit never mentioned israel or anything lame like that except to say how resistance to a percieved injustice...or loosing some land, is just the pretext for hate anger frustration that was already there. Thats why shes here, on "CC" street. I mean look how the orthadox jews and muslims both spit on and treat women to know the truth of things. So to hell with all of them and their hates. But she spoke softly. there was a time... when we were talking we almost wanted to...felt the draw to kiss but no way we better not was the feeling when faces got too close. Also, she was the one that those guys were looking for a few weeks ago that is around here somewhere so she wanted to see what im like since i did that and why. Dont think she has lots of friends and cant say what she believes wherever she is. I did notice a few dots on the map from iran and lebanon off and on for the past month so... could be. A lurker/reader in the main forum i think.
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1. An island, set in the sea of awareness. There is a sand beach, like the mouth of a canyon, that runs in a half circle through mountains and back out. A city is built on the sand. There is a flat topped mountain that slopes to the sea devoid of vegetation, that the valley curves around. the city is very...unstable, and hard scramble, being built on the sand. What little agriculture there is is on terraces fed by rain water. It is moderatly technologically advanced, but very hard life. My awareness looks at the whole continent...its all rough rock plateau and mountains, with little vegetation. I meet with the ruler of the city, the queen or mayor, and we climb the flat topped mountain. I ask her why her people dont utalize the wealth of the sea...fish, kelp, shellfish. She says they have tried...and to demonstrate she releases a boat made of some sort of glass from the sand...it goes down a shoot on this mountain...and gets stuck. The ocean is just above the sand, and they cant built docks on it, so they are cut off from the sea despite being right next to it. I ponder, and create a large stick/staff. I walk down to the sea, that they are afraid to touch, and show how the sand doesnt suck down a persons weight. Do this i say, dig with these staffs...dig a channel in the sand, and seal it with stones....a channel in the sand then the boats can get out to see and back...to harvest energy from the sea. She is awestruck and why didnt they thing of that...but it had to do with the nature of the water and sand which they unlike me could not quite understand. She is excited to get started and runs to tell the townspeople and organize...we litterally run back to town, in the village center, and i start explaining...but then something strange happens.
2. A great doom, spell, force falls over the island, i think to stop this. People wake...i mean they wake from their dream lives and the spell is an overlay of conflicts, exagerated...from the tonal world...some of these people live their lives here as enemies...in prison, etc. this great force makes them...gives them this tonal mind, and they...start attacking, breaking into groups. Sticks, knives, rocks...start killing each other and warring. The most aware...or posesed...come after me...with great steel knives...for carving meat. I reacted tot his by freeing, and being calm...no thinking, no reactions. Even when they fell upon me with the knives. They hacked me...slices...one through my shoulder to almost my groin...im split. Another hacks from my groin up to and out my head, im split again. Im like a piece of broken wood, connected only by a few fibers, and still i stand not reacting. Somehow...after this, the calm i have spreads...and they put down their weapons, and there is like a shuddering shimmering silent shriek in the air and the heavy feeling lifts...and the people stand around looking at their weapons and at each other, and me. No words are spoken. I begin to heal or re weave like blood clotting...and when its safe, when i wont split, i move. but i have these jagged lines like pottery that was broken and re glued...like scars, but i know they will heal stronger then before. I...think i was lucky the two blows didnt split me...but i know its not lick...i cracked where i was weak, like stone under a masons chisel...and now those parts will be strong and not vulnerable. My crack dont link to shatter me.
3. From this, i am rushed, i fade and move into another dream reality. I form standing on a stage, already putting on a play. I am lucid, i see my hand, but everything is emanating a gold light...and the stage props also all shine gold. I am confused. But, this is a part of the play where the character was confused and silent...so it adds to the acting. Was that...the village...this play? I look around, the props are to abstract to tell, but i know it was related. I also know my next line, and deliver it to the audience...its like ancient greek theater with the exposition of inner thoughts. I am in a greek ampatheater, overlooking the sea....and it feels both modern and ancient, as do the audience i look out upon. The sea is green blue in the distance...the sea is the backdrop this theater was building on a bluff over the most amazing living sea. The play...reminds me, the recorder awareness in the character, things the play is like phantom of the opera, with the scar from my being split instead of a burn, but not as dark or morbid...bright and golden. It is both a play and a religiouse ceremony. And me...sen...the recorder, is one of the awareneses the character speaks to the audience about. I/he says "And so it was, from the valley of the long nights and thirsty sand, where not the people gather the bounty of the sea, for fear of the grabbing sand, came a thought! A voice, a muse that asks...who am I? Why? Who are you....and the actor me on you raises his hands and i see hes holding a staff and repeats at the audience "WHO ARE YOU!? The actors, the waves, or the audeance... the endearing stones unworn by time, overlooking the sea!" More of the play, and im just experiencing it. After more time the actor breaks from the play, it was about a hero and a queen on far islands. "and, then too, the one who asks who am i, stops asking, and falls silent...becomes the observer in the mind of the actor, a stone, the audience within, as you, dear patrons, are the audience without. And their was...comprehension, in the far lands of mir." (tonal?) At this, i seperate out of the actor, and i wear a stone mask over my head, and i become a voiced character, not in the one shinning gold...i walk away from the man/me still speaking, and i take my place int he audience...in my stone mask. Three women...fates? from greek mythology follow me and stand around me in a half circle. The middle one speaks, the maiden and crone are silent...but they all look identical, but one feels old and one young and one like a mother. The one who feels like a mother...critiques my family. Where i am, my mother and father, and others in the tonal, but does so in a magical, abstact yet specific way, so that i can see what they see, and the reasons why. A great many reasons. And a thought. All the ideas, and things we thing we need/know are...our joys and fears, they all die with us. They are not eternal. But we...are...can be...unless we follow our...ideas, hopes, joys into the blackness...of non existance. The sand at the bottom of the shallow water of life...like the half moon canyon city...at the mouths...two mouths...birth and death...each with a opening to to infinite sea...only if....if....one could deepen the chanell, so the boat could be free of the sand. It was beautiful...from the dream, to the play, and then this...the exposition, at the edge of the stage, on the ampatheatre by the sea.
4. From here, like a link, i am pulled to a study place. A room in a library or highschool or university, but it...seems... more a school of acting, of doing, and seeing. I am called to practice, to practice my singing and acting, to prepare for a big play/stage production. I meet one on one with an older lady...in her 50's or 60's with very short cropped hair. She is like my coach and tutor. We practice lines and singing. After some time, the director of the play comes in to check on our progress. this being seems older, and he eminates energy, awareness. He is kind. I know, i recognize in this place, that i am not smart, and i am not the best actor. What i have is "personality", and what this means is i am open to many options like a web of possibility. I am now doing a task that is like...writing short answers, perceptions, to difficult questions. It is also scripting my performance. My little nephew comes, he is also working on his plan/script. He has some he can not answer yet, and asks me for help. I want to help, i want to do it for him, but the director and the lady have an air of balanced expectation. I know i cannot. To answer his would be to limit mine...my personality. So i say ponder it some more, wait, i will check back latter to see. This is the correct answer, it seems, as those two exhale and smile. I didnt get off my task to help with anothers, even someone close, when i knew i could not really help it was to assuage their need for assistance. He said...oh...ok...and went back to his own papers. I complete my task, and do it well. I had no problem reading and then writing in the dream, and that was good, as the task was very delicate and prefaced on that ability to even attempt to do it. The lady gives me a pile of notes...typewritten with hand writing scrawl in the margins. They were difficult to read because they were typed on a typewriter with a low toner cartridge, but they were rock solid in terms of stability. I had to look very carefully, and my task here was to write them out, a clean sheet that could be more easily read. there is a long paragraph about the movements, and revisions lines crossed out and hand written parts. It is about tengresity! Its Carlos casteneda developing the idea, his personal notes...the parts that were crossed out and re written were about how to explain it! He quickly rejected the angle that they were an eastern equivallent to nagualisim...i read how he went back and forth saying there were a device left by the first of the new seers, or that they were a secret passe don for don juan. I didnt read enough to see how he explained it. I was only given one sheet. Im not sure how that was explained in reality. But it...they...they were going over the notes, the director and this lady, as if...they were potentially revising the script somehow, but they did not tell me how or why. when i was done i handed my work back to the lady. She positively beamed after reading my sheets. She out of no where, told me that i am a very nice person. I got back to my early musings. I confided, that i am not smart, or rich, all i have is personality. this was deeper then it sounds, as personality...if i were a angry man, or proud, or paranoid, my path forward would be limited. To fighting, or what openings in my maze of perceptions and walls i could find...if there is any way out "to the sea" at all. A maze, shadows on the wall. So personality, in context, means being open, and seeing fewer obsticales, confining and defining. It doesnt mean personality, like how we feel about others. Its something more. She laughs and says i can play Troy Akin. Im not sure who that is, but i see what she means, so i simply reply "I can see it". When i woke i looked that up, maybe she meant that country singer with a similar name, but it was very specific as i wrote it.
Over and over
I tried to prove my love to you
Over and over
What more can I do
Over and over
My friends say I'm a fool
But over and over
I'll be a fool for you
`cause you got personality
Walk, personality
Talk, Personality
Smile, Personality
Charm, personality
Love, personality
And of Cause you've got
A great big heart
So over and over
Oh, I'll be a fool to you
Now over and over
What more can I do
Over and over
I said that I loved you
Over and over, honey
Now it's the truth
Over and over
They still say I'm a fool
But Over and over
I'll be a fool for you
5. I am in a large house near christmas, christmas decorations. I am cleaning and getting ready, it feels like there is a week to go. There are many people milling on the street. I am listening to my father, doing as he instructs me to help him and the family. I notice...he doesn't think things through completely. He thinks something will work so it has to work or he will fall apart and its all ruined. Back to the meaning of personality again. At night, during my visit...i see the shuffers on the window began to bend like somebody pushing on them. He freezes in fear. There is a large wooden door, like to a carriage house, in this wing of the house. A man pushes his way in. A horrible, waxy looking...dead man. One of his arms is a chainsaw. We stand still...he looks around, and ignores us, and scoops up the christmas tree, decorations and all. He brandishes his chainsaw hand but never turns it on. When i leave, i ask my father, does he ever lock the door...no, he never thought of a lock, he believed he would not be robbed, so it was not necessary. My fathers skin, it had a purple tinge now...he seemed unwell. He looked...he looked as his body did, in the hospital, when i went to say goodbye, waxy, bruised from them trying to revive him. He went to lay down. So i stood thinking. this is not good enough. I...what can i do? something. I call an expert...well, a security gaurd. A very large, tall, and fat man in a security uniform. I briefly explain the situation and he says he can keep watch...but this seems a strange solution. He needs locks on the door. this being somehow inspires me to act... I find metal...and screws. I can place an iron bar that swings up, and a bracket on each door. That way weak thieves wont be able to just push the windows doors open. I work all night. In the morning my dad returns, but he has almost forgotten he had a tree, or christmas. He is insistant that he never will be robbed. It takes gentle prodding to get him to sorta remember what had happened. I have to show him the fallen needles to convince him he once had a christmas tree. I tell him to listen to the security man, he is there to help. He is not happy about that, but he listens, and agrees to his presence.
6. I was only at that large home for a few days, at the end, and with things more stable, it was time for me to return to the university type setting. But return is the wrong word, for i am a transfer student it seems...even though its the same place i went over the notes/pages. there are two groups at this school...the expressive actors, and the more conventional studiers. People identify and dress accordingly. My first day, i make a friend, a "gothy" artistic girl who writes somewhat bad poetry and likes to hang out smoking in the hallways. As the weeks go on, she becomes my friend, and we start practicing for the big annual play. Singing, acting, working on poetry, etc. For some reason, and it is strange to me, i got placed/cast with the more conventional studying people. But i really liked to sing and act and write. I didn't see many others placed in my roll by the teachers doing that. Wed practice our singing together, and other things, lot sof time ons tage getting ready for tryouts. We are both starting to excell, and im told im the best singer/actor. But i was being told this by the more conventional teachers. The more artsy ones are also marking me high, but theres something grudging in how they do it. I'm bringing an aspect of monty python, of self aware humor to what i do, and they seem to be going for the steriotypical melodramatic...like dark and deep. Nonetheless, in a fair system, its awareded by ability and talent. So i am assured by the trusting teachers anyway. And then, they announce the final rolls for the play. I get a note, to report to a room. And i go...and wait, and wait. No one is there. I dont understand what has happened. the way the play works, is the final script and rolls were decided the afternoon of the performance...everyone had to be ready for the big day...it was the tradition how it was done. Im sitting, trusting, but getting worried. I hear noise, and poke my head out the door...ive been waiting for about seven hours, singing to myself. Its the students, some i know see me and say its time for the big play, come on! and grab my arm. Im still somehow thinking i have a roll since i had the marks to have one. I get to the auditorium, and...the actors are on the stage. My friend is on the stage exited...i am looking at her thinking its a mistake she will call me up...but when she makes eye contact she looks away and starts talking to the director of the play on stage. I sorta collapse in my chair striken, and quiet. And then...it starts, singing, dancing, exposition, a very free form musical. But its...ehh. It tries so hard to be dark and mysteriouse. And deep. Like Twilight and war and peace. But...my friend. I think if...well, if the price that had to be payed for her moment to shine, was my...being left off the stage...that's ok...i mean it has to mean something to her, the work we did getting ready...i can give that gift, friendship i think, its ok. So I am at peace, and a smile, as im prone to do, and when she comes forwards, to give her speaking part, my awareness tugs, says here i am, and i am happy. She looks at me...and her eyes...nothing. No appreciation, only a walling off. Like one cant let the little people stand in the way of shining. Betrayal! Its not mean, but its...cold. I sit, for a moment more. And then i spring up acting. I start to boo and hiss...and this sounds a shock wave through the audience. I do my own play, critiquing the one on stage, heckling...none move to stop me, they don't know what to do. I answer the stage. I reply to a long speach with "and that is acting, dear audience...to exaggerate and self congratulate. Not to be self reflective...no, melodramatic drivel. There is one acting like "Kristen Stewart" and i see some "true blood". But where, pray tell, is the princess bride? Were is wesely saying "As you whish" to a self absorbed counterpoint. He stand here! I say, hopping on one leg, demanding to know, from the principal the speed of a "swallow". somebody from the quiet audience chimes in "african or European" and i laugh, and say "I dont know that" and launch in the air and do a backflip, land back on one leg, and bow, and start chanting running up and down. Sot he audience is looking at me, and the stage, and starting to also "act". The people on stage don't like it, but what of it. They "Self selected" for like traits, and left half the students out. they don't get to be like that. So then my nephew runs up and down screaming obsenities from an angelic face, and people laugh. And the stage actors end the play. And its very tense, and they are angry. I think it might get ugly...a split, between the two haves, like the knife that cut my body earlier in dreaming, before the self aware play i was basing this act on. And then, the disruption, summons the "principal of principals" He silences the room with one hand motion, and does not speak, sits silently. I start to speak, and he looks at me...i can see he barely tolerates me...but he is proper. After silent deliberation, he makes his judgement. He says, as a simple statement. "He was correct". Meaning me. And leaves. But as he turns and leaves, he turns and smiles, shows emotion, and points at nephew. He also says "he had a potty mouth laughing" And he does something with a finger. a lock of his hair flls over his eye, in a curl. He says hes cursed with a cute curl until he washes his potty mouth and laughs...and walks out of the room. and its done. I finish my school year there, only a few months left. I am elected class president, and we change things, in the way of the play, for the better, better in that all more have a say and a part. Not the tyrany of the self absorbed and gothy. My friend and i are even friends again. She...didn't question when the teachers said i wouldn't fit int he play, and tricked me "acidently" to the wrong room. She...like everyone else, didn't question. And it was wrong...and double wrong for choosing what authority says when it has no justice/fairness behind it. I cant help laughing...and yet you wear the non conformist cloth...sheesh. You people. And we laugh. I finish the yea, and i have many friends from all over, more, and good memories when i leave. And the plays...they included more "non dramatic" people for stability, and they got nicer, everyone both hemispheres/sides agreed.
7. Last dreams of night, so rich i thought for sure i didn't have to shorthand them. Well, i was partly correct...i remembered the power item/moment clearly. The related things...not as well. I took a meal, in a cafe. I ordered steak and eggs on one level, on another country fried steak, and on the third sheet of the page/version of myself...it was sushi. And they all tasted great, and even better, when i tasted them all at once...like how i sometimes listen to three videos at once...can see thing sin the taste, like can in relation of sounds and my silent reactions. Yum yum gimmie some. Three meals, and then three walks down a street, at the same time, different mes in different dreams...but all tied together...they all merge on the level of dream narrator/recorder...the awareness closest to the tonal me. All three of me (was more even, but i couldn't hold that many at once for long periods of time) find a stick. A thick branch, laying in each version of the street. Its..carved, roughly, like painting done with a trowel, or beaten copper, or....in one version...chainsaw art. On one level, it was as if the guy who stole the tree carved it. On another, a painter like van gogh, and on a third, a blacksmith beat it with a hammer. What it WAS....it was an animal. Like a wolf, but if i turned, it was...could be a jaguar. I did not look at it alone. I was with...a poster, that lives in my area. I wanted to ask somebody local about something i wasnt sure what, so this person was here. The head of the thing...the art/totem creature. Was a animal skull...carved, painted, beaten...with no flesh. From the skull, which seemed odd on the body, were two tapered branches. One sticking almost straight up and one from th side of the face curving to the left. It was left for me to find, and it was full of power/energy. And i did touch it. But i consulted with the local lady, and we did not pick it up yet...was no need. For you see, after we looked at it, when we were done...it got up, and walked to the left, following the curving branch. And dissapeared into a wall/forest/void. (was a bit different on each level). And then, i woke for the day.
Posts: 494
Threads: 17
Joined: Feb 2019
8/1-2/13 Two Deadly Perils: Work, Harvester spirit of the river.
1. Gave Disertation, was grave error, As a result, i fell from the sky through the clouds and hit the earth, making a huge crater like the meteor crater in Arizona. The error was not in speaking, the error was in proposing then being selected to actually do what it was. Curse, their was a curse from many, that the proposal was for their benefit but dont want change from set fates. I take to living in a cave, like the cave i hid in in the dream the night before. Were strange bare of leaves trees, and when the wind went through them they released a chemical like a drug, so people had visions. The natives called these the oracle caves as a result. These caves were my shelter, and the drug trees, from hostility. Sacred spot. I was fed from something, for dreaming, that i called the "blood buster". It was like a great fuzzy Condor type thing, and it opened it beak and fed me blood. Or something like it for dreaming. I knew it as blood buster, and it regurgitated energy it gathered, on its rounds. I dont like this very much. the cave is like its nest, and the trees, the weaving in dreams.
2. I leave, after time, as i am full. I forget about it, in dreaming, and am at a dream that looks like my last full time job, as a manager of a retail store. I hated that job. But whatever corporation owned it is gone, and the employees, have purchased this building, and are running a worker owned version of it. Its not as efficent, and they pay themselves higher then they should, and its based on cliques...so its hardly viable...lots of people who do nothing just collect checks. But they mean well, more or less. theya rent as hostile to me, so they ask if ill work. They dont have anyone who can run the backroom shipping/logistics, and shelves are going bare...the woman who did so has gone to another level of existance. So i say...ok, i can try i suppose. I get dresse din my old work uniform, and my old namebadge...and they say why are you wearing that...i say habit i suppose...even in a dream. This is anoying and slightly funny...but mostly anoying to them, as they hate the old uniforms and such. I go to the backroom, as i can operate the forklifts and recieve trucks, to get started, to move some old things from top rafters. I am so tired, already. I find a hidden break room, with a naping bed...i lay down...ill not take lunch, ill take a nap...just one hour i think, i need rest. I go into a sleep like death, like in the eyes of the dragon thing the other night. I wake when a co worker friend is coming in, to the break room. I am worried, i am laying naked under the single thin sheet...i hold the door closed, say wait...but i cant get clothes back on completely, so they come in and find me half naked. I say i am tired, i am very tired... i suppose i must be fired. He doesnt respond, says "tommorow is a rest day anyway". I say "Yes, but what of today, what of now and this hour and the next and the next?" He doesnt answer. I manage to get the clothes back on...they no longer really fit for some reason. back onto the sales floor, and its the man...who was like my grandfather who died earlier this year, black. And his father that dies in the 1950's. They come to talk to me. They say will talk more soon, when i join them, am dead. I ask "so i am to die shortly, then?" they nod their heads in the affirmative. This slightly worries me. I am trying to do work, then, but im so tired...i collapse in a corner, like to die, suddenly...sleepily. Im so tired i wake up...and i am really tired when i do, scrawl some notes, its not easy to go back to sleep.
3. A mystery. A strange city, in a void, shinning with inner light, but its not that vibrant somehow, seems dimmed. A space suite...i am in a space suite. The old men, they are also in spaces suites "life support". It has to do with being so tired before. A mystery to look at, but then, a misunderstanding. The old men, old sorcerers, are covered, and supported by similar suites, and they are touchy about my being in one...im not old to their eyes. They almost look like holcaust survivors...why should i have such support, the suite, when im still alive and vibrant? it offends them. But then i take off the suite, and its only my face, and hands, that are alive and young. There is a flash of lightneing, and i stand before them nude...i am a skeleton with living hands face rest is an illusion over crystal ivory bones...they can see stars through my bones, the gaps in pelvis and ribcage. But the sky here is black....but looking through can see stars. Then they understand, and stop complaining. Old people can be anoying and petty.
4. I am me, but i am very small, in form and mind like a child. I need reasurring, and attention. I am at some sort of resort, with other people, there is a pool, and tables with umbrellas, etc. A woman is sitting on a beach chair like sunbathing. She had just been talking to me, and she went away and sat and was reading. Another person comes and asks if she saw sen. She says "he is back there playing with toys or something" with a bit of frustration. I am in the child, then also another awareness looking at everything as i tend to do. Seeing this, the awareness that was outside goes to the child and tells him what it what. So the child decides "fine, then ill be grown up and powerfull, not needing attending for a bit". Now...a strange thing. The world shifts like it is animated, like a cartoon. So now everyone is cartoon rabits and animals, anthropamorphic. So then i come walking the opposite of a child...wearing tight swim trunks, and standing like seven feet tall with a buffed out chest...i did this because the woman were looking more mature too thats why they were suddenly frustrated. A grown man in that energy doesnt stop to make small talk, or ask people what they want etc...he just struts by and maybe looks back and see who follows. It worked entirely too well. So now the anthropamorphic cartoon people jump up to talk, but of cource, that over exagerated guy is too cool to speak...which makes them follow trying to get his attention more. Total reversal. We dont like how predictable and easily manipulated things are. So the puffed up me says "sorry, i have things to do" and walks out of the compound. But we are still children, so we are kinda laughing inside but hiding it. Actually, it revealed something that needed to be processed, this energy from all around. So he...I...walks out on the river. Like walking on water, not in it. Which is a shame, i thought to myselves...i totally could have done my task some more but this isnt water for wading in. the river ran close to the resort, and the big me keeps walking, then normal me like who writes followed at a distance but in constant contact with the other me. Farther along the river, it got broader, and it was swampland and forest all around. Under the water, was a great black eel...no like an octapuses arm...it couldnt grab him....it was a drowner...it grabbed beings from the water and held them under. It was female, but it was hard to say why. Finally, the tendril shot out from the water and it had two eyes and a mouth that spoke. The big me had already gotten pst where she drowns "heroes". It shyly asked if he would come with her to talk, to be captured for a bit. He says ok. They go into a strange house on stilts. The female tentacle comes up through a whole...most of her lives under the water. They chit chat and then she tells of herself. She is the drowner in the water. It was balance. She said, that "men" or "heroes" from time to time would emerge from the citys, like mythology, and to prove themselves they would inevitably quest to kill her, or master some primal force...usually trying to get on top of the "Feminine". But it seems i was playing a gag not doing that, so there was no set way to drown me/him.
Sometimes, she said, she almost feels bad for them, and lets them go after a warning or lesson. But inevitably, they come back with the trophy, and re instate the "patriarchical energy cap". If that gets out of balance, then all would die. As it is, every so often one does, but then he softens and ages, so the feminine has room to exist. But if one hero after another, came into the unknown and went back, full of life, and replaced the last one...how would the balance of human energy be preserved? It would be all testosterone, energy, all the time, vibrant. No children, no release to feminine to create more...no old. So...she does what she is there to do...culls the bucks, lets there be a few, because they shift as they age, then the cycle starts again. She kept trophys of those she took. Feathers, skull bones...not all were human she took. She asks...and her eyes get sly...perhaps i/he would want a trophy to take back? The big me was blank, and had a slow smile and laugh. "no, conversation is enough, what need of i for a trophy..." The eel tentacle lady was expectant, then she smiled too. If he had taken a trophy, she would need to take him...takeing the trophy would have been to assert conquest. then she ws whistfull, and he said time to go back, thank you for the chat. And she went back into the water. The me that records...was watching all...and then walked out ahead, and back, infront of big exagerated me. I didnt want that tentacle seeing me and pulling me under. Any guy who comes into these swamps along this river, is by default part of that game...i felt lazy...needed to get back to i can wake and write. And i did.
Posts: 494
Threads: 17
Joined: Feb 2019
6/29-30/12 Wolf's Ranch, Church, woman in church and manor.
1. I am called, go to a small ranch, with horses, at the foot of some dry desert mountains, very angular. It is a bit of a drive up from the desert to reach that spot. When i arrive, their is a main house a bit away, and then a secondary smaller house, for ranch hands or rented out to helpers. I am looking at the house. It is occupied by a man, who doesnt seem to want to believe he is being evicted, but the letters and such were being delivered for some time before this time actually came to it was already settled by...spirit? Plenty of chance to reform or do whatever it was he was supposed to be doing as his rent. It had nothing to do with me as such. When he left, i looked at the structure, and saw lots of repairs that needed to be done structurally before it was habitable....thinks like leaking roof, some rot in wood etc. Im not actually doing anything, im just seeing it all outside of myself. What drew me in strongly...was i was tlaking to other people from ( ), but they were at a distance. When i was alone, i felt a pull to walk down to the coral/small barn like building. I went inside, and then turned around. There was a man, on a horse, clear as day. Very lucid, hyper real, out of ordinary moment. I knew who it was right away, it was NLW....i noticed he had let a bit of stubble grow, and there was silver hair in it, the silver...it reminde dme of how i saw my face in the hood the other night but not grown out nearly as long. It was a telescoping of awareness, hyper real, on him and the horse he was riding. He looked at me a moment more and simply said "andrew" like confirming my identity a statement. I simply siad ( ). Was like a handshake but there was allot more i cant really explain to it. another man came past me from around the corral door. Wolf simply called him "the farmer". He looked like a ranch hand, he dleivered the hay...grew it sold it. This man extended ahand to shake...and almost like an afterthought, i remembered how to shake hands. I was a bit startled by it for some reason. I expected a tight handshake, but his hand covered mine but not tightly. He did the strangest...quick motion. After he clasped my hand instead of withdrawing it he cupped his fingers like squeezing closed a tube, drew them closed then wthdrew the hand. I was very aware of how clamy my skin felt, but there was something else...something about that quick movement. He then went off after Wolf. After they were gone, i knew there was no following, i see ( ) and ( ) walking. I say "i just saw wolf he was on a horse" and im not sure they believe me...the super clarity is gone, its a bit of a fog over things as is usuall in my dreams and wakeing life. ( ) said something like "we will see" and walked out wth ( ) as if to look. I turned around and walked more into the horse coral/barn. Now ( ) comes up behind me and i tell her I saw wolf try to explain something. She sort of cuts me off says she isnt sure about something. Not that i saw him or not, something else around him. This was interupted by the half door on the other side of the coral shooting open infron of us. Two horses were putting their heads in...one of them had big teeth it was making a horse noise. So i push the door so it recloses. This time with more force the horse pushed it open and sticks its head in, and makes a very loud long whinneying sound that had resonance. This was so...the meeting part...hypoer rela and energetic, and the hand movement thing, i woke then right away at the horses insistance to right it down. I had not been asleep very long at all. The only thing... i was reading about nagualisim last night, something about transmision to the unseen spirit...i read and didnt read, i felt what i felt...i think this got in touch in someway. Thats why he (wolf) came to see who and confirmed my identidy then introcuced me to the farmer then left.
2. "string Ive Cranti RR" For once im not recalling what i tried to convey in that. Strings were threads, like railroad tracks, moveing between levels in energy...universe...dreams. The vehicle...the awareness...something on this, that i was in breaks...stops. Stuck. It is left on a string/Tracks. I am speaking in this, and this leads...as what the breakdown was...to an evil burn. A barn, different then the coral before, a burning version...Like...the walker ranch barn in season two of the "walking dead" where they kept the zombies. Were no zombies in the dream, but this was an evil barn with secrets, in an idylic energetic setting. this was a symbolic convesation with power somehow. this conversation led me to ( ). Having to do with, and or communicating with her. I die too, death. Say need help/need to help. the question was answered, but the answer was strange. The answer was, as i wrote it exactly. "by hill ti mgt (manegement) too bosterous. Somehow this all related to the first dream...the person evicted, evil barn, burned to hide something... was a bosterous act. Not wolf, no, management was spirit. This was its answer/proclomation and was supposed ot answer my question about "help". It almost, but not quite, makes scense now. After the dream the other day, is ent ( ) a message and she responded and we talke don skype for several hours today...somehow, again, it made scense, and mirrors what was in the dream...but not in a way i can easily put into words.
3. Anthony Bourdaine, the celebrety chef writer, tells me that i drink way too much coffee....Which us saying allot, coming from him, as he points out with a laugh. Its like an interview, at a restauront bistro in a big city. he asks me "what i know". In general. I give some simple answers. Surgery and diet. Or did i mean Jersey diet. the odd thing was, this part of the dream was also very realistic, and a bit humorous with a edgy yet profound undercurrent. I did reference snooki which was unexpected and made him laugh very loud. He rmeinde dme of ( ), or is that the other way around?
4. A church, the cathedral with the large circular window in santa fe new mexico. their are beings...people in the church. They are doing a ceremony, and i arrive...im in my bed...my bed sorta forms in the back of the church. A man like a priest, the people, they want me to rise from bed and join in the ceremony. I do not want to. Im only partially dressed, in something like a nigjtgown, and my legs are bare. Its very disconcerting. Their is an undercurrent of...something...mockery. The priset wants me to do something specific...i rise, and stand on the bed. I find my voice, my power voice, and give a "speach" That such ceremonies need to be open, not coercive somehow...the fact its like this seems wrong. I speak very well, and it seems im listened too. But the priest says something...snide. And the people in the church, they disagree...and then they call me "father" like one adresses a priest, but it is mocking...discord. I turn my back and go to the back to the entry to the church, and climb some stairs im quite hurt...not strongly, but a feeling of something hostile directed at me. I go to a room at the top of the winding stairs with n iron railing. Its like an office. There is a lady, by a desk...she vaguely is like a nun, or spirit, in some scense. I am not even able to articulate. Out exchange is not in words. Next i see, im following her voice, i hear it. She tells the people and the priest...shame on them, for making me collapse into shame...to seek refuge in the "sisters of shame" or with them...or is that why i was female like. I do not quite understand. The very very odd thing here. When i spoke to dreamlyn earlier, she tried to explain when i asked what she saw...around in me. The description she gave...and i didnt realize it till i looked at the notes, was like this woman! She saw her looking at paper sona desk...which is how i found her in the dream when i went up the stairs. This was a very unsettling dream...and i woke...sorta like a retreat, and scribbled some more notes and then almost immediately fell back asleep. I had not left the church...but i did leave the main room.
5. I go right back to the same church. this time im dressed appropraitely, and am me. I am with my mom and sister, and we are led to a church pew inback of the first empty row. The reserved seating by a man like an usher. Sitting in the center of the pew are two woman. One of them, is so vibrabt, real, shimmering power...but also...very aristocratic...comfortable in power perhaps is the way to explain it...the power of energy, that sort of power. she make s aspot for me and motions for me to sit right next to her. The feeling, being that close, its hard to explain...a pull, not forced but strong. She speaks softly to me, and i want to lean in. First, she sees my sister a bit down, crossing her legs at the ankles as she sits. She says thats not the way they sit...they have bare legs, incredably...shapely...vital. they demonstrate the correct way to sit for a woman...a quarter inch gap betweent he legs...to not cross power? I think my sister would be upset, but no, she seems confused but sits as they do its good somehow. After that, she leans close to my head, and we converse. But inside of thise energy...link bubble this powerfull energetic glow in feeling. She tells me, as a matter of fact, that we are of the same/similar...existance...quality...resonance? I would usually be self depreciating but i dont have any of thsoe deffenses i understand...i feel...ther eis no arguing against what is true on some level. I think of me...in life, but thats not it...clearly i have no great wealth or depth of lineage but that snot what it is...its that...feeling. We are tlaking in whispers...not talking...but its so energetic, like plants leaning into sunlight...the crowd that was rude...they ar ebehind me, and do not matter, not now. She whispers thats why they were hostile, trying to stick me in a wrong place because thats where they are...none of that matters to us here. It sounds elitest, but it wasnt...it was just...hard to explain. We want to go away from the church, and somehow, it opens up into a great manor...like the herst castle, but it feels more like in the palm springs area. But a estate, that is conserved by the state as a museum. It was ours, once, but not now. So many people...i think of them as relations. The woman...shes so animated, its constant, that being in each others energy, leaning. But i dont react...i get more and more lucid and clear. I understand waht she wants, in a way, but im unconcerned or...im just in the feeling. When she leans in close, and i into her, i am speaking...she comments on my "accent" in energy...when i choose to speak in english. But she means my energy, not voice. She says its so clear...the energy, without "accents". She laughs it makes it hard for her here, to find a shade to work on...like an emotion...something ill surge into. I hear my "voice". Very precise...soft, and clearly enunciated each word has allot of resonance. It seems we are having a similar effec tone ach other, as she would say is of cource the way it is. We go to a place to be more private...its like servants quarters....where caretakers live. It is empty. I see...somehow...there is a hotel roll bed layed out. What she mean was is i dont have an easily holdable...surge like desire, its all int hat feeling. I comment in the strange voice. "No it just means it has to be built, not an opening thats easy to hook into". So i think...it will be something romantic...intimate...it seemed ot be building to it. But a woman with children come in...and see us, and look embaressed, say "we will leave". I say "No need, this is your space, we will find another...no need to be disrupted" and smile. Shes leaning in again, commenting on how gently i handle that. I tell her im not always so gentle, but i save my... more pointed projections for when they are needed...so a small word has more weight, then if i screamed at the help all the time. I feel her approval for this for some reason. I think to go to "the skybar" with her...when we arrive...its like a 1960's modernist bar at the top, and a pool on the roof. Its crowded too, with "cousins". She sits and i speak to them...they say their is no alchohal, as its a state museum, its all colored water. Its a shame, what we have lost. I say "I have a plan, this was surrendered 100 years ago, but the name, lineage, ownership can be reasserted but i give no more detail. The woman, i see is falling asleep...finally, that we are seperated a bit...on the stool. I dont want to leave. I want to stay here/there like i can should do. My mom and sister find me now, they think im strange because there is no food or drink here, tell me we will eat in los Angeles. I say...thats not it...im trying to communicate my decision. But i wake before i do. Take notes. Somehow, i was so aware of myself and others here, it seems related to meeting wolf and the man he called "the farmer" who did something to my hand...it was not a man, a spirit its strange. I rub my hand like he did, as i wake. Take notes.
Life is a waterfall
We're one in the river
And one again after the fall
Swimming through the void
We hear the word
We lose ourselves
But we find it all...
Cause we are the ones that want to play
Always want to go
But you never want to stay
And we are the ones that want to choose
Always want to play
But you never want to lose
Aerials, in the sky
When you lose small mind
You free your life
Life is a waterfall
We drink from the river
Then we turn around and put up our walls
Swimming through the void
We hear the word
We lose ourselves
But we find it all...
Cause we are the ones that want to play
Always want to go
But you never want to stay
And we are the ones that want to choose
Always want to play
But you never want to lose
Aerials, in the sky
When you lose small mind
You free your life
Aerials, so up high
When you free your eyes eternal prize
Aerials, in the sky
When you lose small mind
You free your life
Aerials, so up high
When you free your eyes eternal prize
6. Its time to get up, but im not wanting to yet, so i done briefly there is something else. Two quick things happen. Inox. Cities as islands, like the sayshells. The tracks were connecting versions of them i see from the earlier dream that was hard to understand. The second thing is me cleaning, and my father is there...i did a good job, compared to where i was when he died...but he points at a small cabinent. I had shoved things i was working on then...beofre he died in it and never finished looked at them cleaned them up. I said simply i was so hurt by your dying i didnt go back to them. They were spiritual things my own personal path...he took them out again time to pick it back up. Also related to wold dream and church/lady. Tenant i would guess. Or the one like the "sister of shame" its hard to explain logically ofc. lol.
Posts: 494
Threads: 17
Joined: Feb 2019
Real fragmentary, but whats there, is really there so to speak, mostly the important parts, less side things hehe.
1. Friends. (People from these forums + family etc) A sleep over, at a hosts house, not a place ive seen before, but familiar faces, and some new ones. During the sleep over, some of the dead...family of people rise from the dead, and come and join, including my father. Its in no way creepy, not zombies. Talk to my fathers form for quite awhile...its him, in energy, is him...but hes lost well...not memory, but all his...clouded, unclear parts. So he remembers work, asks me about some specific students, and sadly i dont know, i tell him hes been dead for two years, he says yea...time. i remember time. And then it gets silly, like i take it as literal, so im worried if he came back with his bad heart we didnt know about before his death, etc, so im asking my mother. Another figure, a man i dont know, says "no, but we are calling for a psyic exam since hes litteraly gone through hell..." then i remembe rthis is dremaing and spirit, so worrying about how to undeclear one as dead is a silly waste of time. I liked my father, how he felt, but... a few years beofre he died, my grandmother, his mother died...the last week, she had a hazy lucidity...like you say well you in the hospital, and she say "I am? and her eyes would get wide like seeing it for the first time." My dad did the same thing, said "i am...." and seeing around. It really struck...something in me, not sure what, not bad.
2. Fighting with ( ) over a videogame. It was chris, a roommate from college, was a fat jovial little guy accept when it came to games...was like a hobbit hillbilly from baker ca, never wore shoes. But then he shifted more and more into someone else....( ). Like "give me the controller" "no its my turn" "im going to camp your spawn point and teabag your ass" arguing like guys playing a game. The ggame was some weird...ships. and an ocean...spawn point slike a RTS. I took the land side, he had ships...and i used all my ships and free resources spawnin ships fast, to knock out his un respawning navy...it almost worked...but the little **** places his last unit on my water spawn point so it insta camped my units. I said this sucks, its a stalemate. he said yea, its a stalemate i win. No you dont, this is just a boring game. No its not, you just cant play and are being a sore looser. Then i reset the game and then it was the arguing about who was the poorer sport, him for spawn camping me or me for ending the game and taunting. lol. Children...sigh. lol.
3. Wolf and i summoned, for lack of a better word, not like someone came and got us, we came online, and i saw him like a floating face, like curage wolf animated thing lol. In and out, like stars blinking, lets gahter everyone, not competitive but fun, seeing who could get who etc. Like names in a energy directory...telephone polls, transmitting. Then, we go where the others will go when goes out, like part of it...hard to explain, energy....fountian, flow...bright. When thats over, we are there, but not there...well, there is no there. Like stars in a black fields, pulsing to communicate, but then, it needs to have some form...like...telepresence...all awareness projected to a new space, but knowing one is also elsewhere. We all come, i mean people on these forums and others... I get ( ), ( ), he gets rm and then others...some we both contacted double tapped hehe. So we are there, and ( ) is talking about things. their is a pool of water, luminous, and it are clams...but shaped like fortune cookies...but not, are clams...but not clams...there are energy sheathes...but not like us, are kinda dark, and the spirit part is inside. she is drawing them up into a net, with intent...like finding selecting them. and then taking the net and showing people. Heres a strange thing...people arent exactly people, and their is stuff, she is talking about, about womb, etc...and the womb...its like a pregnant belly, but made of lite, no skin, like a pregnant, open womb of light. kinda...differant but it makes perfect scense. So she tlaking to rm and wg and others, and someone asks about...the clams. See, if one pulls on their tongues, a piece of paper like a fortune cookie strip comes out, and on it, is the essance of the thing itself. Somebody is asking about something they kack, relationship fullfillment...power...but its around mrelationship stuff. So sham says...well, dont be a silly girl... find it, and add it to yourself then its in you...like to birth it out. And she demonstrates, takes one of the clam cookies, selects a paper...and gently applies it on the womb then pulses and its in the pulse of energy...like a...hehe...spray. This si interesting and energetic, but i also want to make a joke but its seriouse. then i almost loose it, becasue someone else tries it, and she says no no! Dont smear it on...we DAUBE DAUBE, like this and with two fingers...like lightly applying a piece of paper mache... omg lol....part of me is haha...jokes lol. the way she sais daube...made a tear come to my eye wanting to laugh...so i turn away a bit, also, it was interesting, but was of no use for me or wolf as such...nothing to daube into...so i turn back to the pool of water. I put my hand out, and draw one of the clams up without a net...pull out the paper, then place it back and drop it back in the pool. Wolf comes up behind me, like whats so funny, so i show him, in my eye window. Nothings funny as such, im just thinking of this as a rela world thing how funny it would be... a song. "shiny happy people" to sum it all up...he likes that. He tells me i am very quick to notice and laugh, sometimes he takes to long and the moment of laughter is gone. I saw yea, im too fast...to fast for love unlike you and thats funny for some reason. We notice its quiet and turn...and people are smiling looking like "what are you two chuckling over" the exposed wombs, and energy flows...i say... shiny happy people...HOLDING HaNDS lol and prance around like a dance...and its too much, everyone start laughing haha. Also i tlaked to wolf about more things/people, but thats for my knowing and not my saying
Meet me in the crowd, people, people
Throw your love around, love me, love me
Take it into town, happy, happy
Put it in the ground where the flowers grow
Gold and silver shine
Shiny happy people holding hands
Shiny happy people holding hands
Shiny happy people laughing
Everyone around, love them, love them
Put it in your hands, take it, take it
There's no time to cry, happy, happy
Put it in your heart where tomorrow shines
Gold and silver shine
Shiny happy people holding hands
Shiny happy people holding hands
Shiny happy people laughing
Whoa, here we go
4. I want to buy new shoes. I look and look. There are strips of cheese..energy, from before. I have no womb but "daube" slices of cheese onto my old shoes to make nice...cheesy new ones. lol. that "Daube" thing really works lol. Somebody fnds me, and in thanks, they gift me a clear glass weapon to keep on me no security problems...its like a little flat crystal dagger... (her i forgot about this till i re posted this, it came in handy a few months latter)i can stick it in shoes under sock...so i decide to make the shoes into boots to hide it better hehe. Sweet. A concealed weapon just what i needed thanks! hehe. Hey i got a better idea. i go barefoot, and rather then pre made shoes, i can daube the cheese energy onto my feet and build shoes from my own...milked energy...sweet. I go back to the outdoor market. People are closing up, but i find a tech shop where i bought my fancy shoes. Man i did so much, before, undoing it, returning the shoes is a quest. Find the shoe lady, give her a ride, backtrack to earlier dream with dad. I return the shoes, but end up with a business partner int he sales lady, and then i want to make a new thing in the travelling store. Goes on for hours Almost get robbed, i flip in the air pull out the knife...they say "hey man we dont want trouble" and leave. They had already robbed her a few times. lol...knife isnt big, it was my chuck norising/ninja'ing around. Thats why the lady said your a good partner... are funny and seriouse for it at the same time. lol.
Posts: 494
Threads: 17
Joined: Feb 2019
Desert Dreaming 12/9/12 Nap
Went and lay down to sleep as soon as everyone left chat. Sleep didn’t come right away, and before it did, and apparently after, it was a strange...conversation. ( ) and ( ). Same thing happened in my night dreaming the night before. Two separate but related things. Something with ( ) that had to be cleared first, cleared up, then some talks with ( ) about how stuff would or would not proceed. ( ) sorta was in the middle negotiating after we took care of our stuff first and it went on to ( ). Strange state of awareness, like a chat forum combo with multiple windows. I wasn’t sure If I was even asleep. But then the last pot of coffee caught up and I held it till we were done, and got up to pee. I look in the mirror as I wash my hands...my pupils fill my eyes and I look like I was sleeping. Strange, from the moment I lay down to when I woke I never registered a transition...but the way I felt my tonal body was the way I monitor it in dreams, so I knew I was sleeping...that, plus the eyes and face when I went to the bathroom. So I lay back down, in order to go back into dreams. The time from when I lay down to when I got up to pee was 40 minutes. Didn’t seem that long.
Slip right back into dreams as soon as I hit the pillow, and this time, they are dreams as we know them, not the strange hybrid state. I walk into an enclosed space...i see a room, like a set. Fire is outside. Some other light is inside. A woman walks in after me who is confused. She is familiar, but did not expect to come here. She reminds me of ( ), but it could be ( ) as well from the age and look...early 40's. Or one other person, I base this off the number of children that she had children. Room is crowded. There is a ...Witch? Speaking. She tells me I was the first, to walk, before. To “fight the flyer” im not sure what she meant. This women is now, in that now. She asks what it means, she is confused so the witch explains. She nods her head. Then there are two in back of us, I see ( ) and one other...both still in university. The age “16” is spoken by the witch here. I look a them and smile, their legs are how I saw them at Baylor university the night before. This is all set and explained. Then...how to explain, nothing in the room changes, but its like we do a play that moves the whole place without moving anything at all. I make it seen to me as star trek, in a shuttle. ( ) must be around, because I say out of character...”star trek is cool *** you ( )” and that gets chuckles. But then all in character. Flying, navigating, people all finding their spot. I take the controls and someone says “Its funny seeing you do this you were the kid learning and now...” I laugh. Is it me? Not sure. I’m in him but not. So then we are “there” although we never moved nor did anything change. But we look in the center of the “room”. There is a plastic display case. A silver pendant, like an open book, with hinges. Strange writing. We will take it, it was kept for us by these monks? Four other objects but the witch doubts the are authentic, but we can use them too. But that is the main thing. After this, we walk out one by one. But....( )? Or another? I think wg comes with me outside. I still need to do my walk, see.
Out on the street, we walk. A sidewalk, and an empty road, laid out but no structures yet. Look to my right, see the redrocks. Not sure if we came from there or we are going there? Anyway i'm just walking and talking. I tell the girl that she should set up down the road here, she doesn’t know. I say sure i can help you, I help others, im helpful She is noncommittal to the general idea. I swear the road can support another setup on the other end for balance. As we walk, I am and am not very young, id say eight years old. I think im me my age, I tighten my jacket its cold out. But there are children and teens everywhere, like school got out, which is strange, it is so empty. I flow with them as them...they see us as them. I listen tot hem talk. Its Halloween. They are rushing to get into costume and trick or treat. Odd. That was more then a month ago we comment. A bit down the road, a big half built structure. It will be the haunted house...its rented for that. I see men working, its not ready. We stop and look. We get drawn in, and time shifts a bit or dream does anyway.
We are in a room. There is a large window, looking out on the mountains/canyons red rock area it look like. Desert. The room is classy, modern, and yet it reminds me of say an English country manor due to the rich wood paneling on the walls, etc. There is a fireplace in a corner, some tan colored couches (like a recent dream with the burning the wolf icons like those I slept on and watched)
Looks like a large hotel suite, or condo...its owned not rented. And...shelves and cabinets, full of books or empty space. I know them, things I once had or I made, and gave to wolf. Wolf is here, but he looks...different. Tall and thin, blue eyes. But...how to explain, maybe wg would know. He looks like a “vampire lord”. But its hard to say why...modern clothes. ( ) or whoever sits quietly. And we speak some on the setting, and the shelves. I tell him I brought him another piece, and reach in my jacket and form two wooden doors, small ones, for a cabinet. I go to place them, after I form them on one of the rich antique cabinets. Looks like California Mission style furniture...which fits in anywhere. Before I attach them, wolf takes one and changes the style from varnished oak to deep mahogany and the shape. And moves it. So I walk over and put the other one next to it. He switches the style again so they are mismatched. This confuses me. Perhaps even annoys me. I tell him that’s not how it goes. But its for the best, I cant find the key. No he speaks with some...emotion? In his voice. He tells me simply I was holding out on him. What? I reply. I held out?. Yes he says, I held out, and I hold that over him. That there is a trickle of new parts. I am a bit confused. Might even be pissed underneath, I think well if I did its because you...and I catch myself, and he finally smiles. He also asks why I spent the effort to create all of this, like a parallel structure, rather then just accept the cave. I don't really answer, I tell him we had to negotiate this...but most of it was for my comfort and warynes. Also I add, why are you animating it. He said he does the same for me, and mentions the use of his double, etc. I think this is why he was...making a point of the doors. “come” he says, “I brought food”. We go into another room, like a kitchenette/dinning area. We sit at a small table. In the center are six pieces of lightly fried...no breading, chicken parts. Legs, thighs, and wings. All dark meat. Something he caught, not chicken. We sit across from one another, and the eating is like a ritual. I am very hungry. I eat the large pieces, clean the bones. As does he, but more slowly then I. Restrained even. The wing...sigh. Trouble getting the meat in between. So I crack it back. When I do, the crack sound is horribly loud. I stop...that felt wrong. I look at him but he is impassive, peering at me. So I eat the rest of the meat. Still hungry. I look up, one chicken leg on the plate in the center. I want it im hungry but...i look at his plate. He had only eaten two pieces. He asks me if I want it, slowly peering. No, no I say...i do but...you only had two, I already had three. That is not fair, you have it. He moves to cut it with a knife...he says I can share half the meat with you...says it slow. But...its not right to me. To take more then him what he provided. I’m sure now. “No, that is too much, you take it”. And he does. I look at my plate, at the bone I twisted snapped back. A small break. IN the bone, I see awareness...energy. Like a strand of filament, alive, human. This shocks me, but I get it. I look up and say “that’s why you made it Halloween, I get what you did here”. He smiles, slightly, as he chews, and does not respond. There is a transition, and we are, me and the girl, back on the street, where we started, continuing to walk.
We walk a ways, and then turn into a house? Yard. It is like a covered patio, clay tile floor. Along one side is an old green high backed desk, and lots of shelves and a work space. On the other side...are shelves. Some books and bric a brac, mortar and pedestal etc. The witch? Yea. Same. She smiles when we come in, we are children again now. She is friendly, but occupied. She offers me a seat, but the girl (?) who is older by x2 my age...so 16, wants to stand and look around. We engage in conversation, about magic and witches, but she seems...amused, but not mocking, at the things we believe/say. She is working moving around the whole time. There is a vine, over the open part of the patio covering. I look through the leaves. I see the moon. But...there are three more moons! Whats more, they have legs and one a bow tie. Like humpty dumpty. I exclaim this to the witch. She says of course, those three moons are important in some parts of the world...4 moons. I say “ I never saw them before”. She says well...you are around magic. I say I always am...aren’t I? Am I a witch...or would that be a warlock? Guys are warlocks...no sorcerers? ( Edit: Left something out here. The witch tells me the center moon, with the bowtie, is male. Its between the female moons. In the center, between. this links to something, a comment ( ) made to me. I start to ask more, then remember my age, and say to the witch "i better not ask, its makeing me waver/shake might loose lucidity. This makes her laugh the loudest ive heard her do.) She smiles again and chuckles. I look to my left, and I see ( ?) reaching for a book on a shelf...like going to over the witches back. He turns and says “i said look not touch”. I say yea...i think you should ask so your intent is clear and her answer. Right? I ask the witch...she laughs again and winks. Now a funny thing...the girl starts changing into...a cat...or some small animal but I see a cat. At first she meows. Its kinda cute. I think of...well, the first time I saw ( ) use her eyes, a dream, their was a Cheshire style cat like this winking at me in the rafters, a dream long ago buried in my thread. That cat. Didn’t seem bad, she just shifted she didn’t seem to mind. But the witch said something about “brats to cats” and laughed nice. So the witch keeps working, and it seems the cat is more and more talking. I hear words. I think I here ( ) name M.... and more meows that can be words. So I listen more and more. I say the witch...hey shes talking almost words! The witch says “of course she is, listen tow what shes saying” so I listen more. I say she said “M.... not cat?” over and over. Is she saying she is not ( )? The witch laughs. No stop thinking, listen. So I do She is really saying “I am NOT a brat!” I laugh. She says more, and as time goes on, the witch working, she becomes more and more human the voice and form. Funny and cool, she is not mad shes laughing too. So now...shes back to her. I know we should go. The witch turns to us, says “i have some things I want to give you”. Sounds exciting. I wonder what magic things they can be! I hope its a paper to help me in the tonal get my act together like money....or maybe a cool picture...something like that. She lets ( ) select either a thing in an envelope or a book...i think she takes the book. She is making me thing now. Grabbing stuff from jars, using the mortar, etc. She is baking, but is no cooking. Finally she is done. 12 cookies. Like small waffles, and some filling. She paints one side with something dark, like chocolate, and one side is light. Puts them in a bag and smiles...oh I love cookies! They remind me of the moons. She hands me one, and says to try it now. To both of us...one? I take a bite wondering what I can feel. I don’t really taste anything. And I just loose the dream, cant hold it, and wake up directly. So I get up and go into chat. Seems I slept almost...three hours total including the fist 40 minutes.
Posts: 494
Threads: 17
Joined: Feb 2019
10/2-3/13
Steve McQueen/Rotating Dance class/A great story
We are gathered, in the classroom. We are children, elementary school age, all of us. Today is different, the teacher is not here, instead, we have a man, who Is sitting in for a special presentation, more like a guest lecturer, observing, then a substitute. The man is so luminous, deep silver, almost shining hair, and his face...i am drawn to his face...its looks like Steve Martin, and Chevy chase, a mix, in the features to me. I am very exited, by his presence My friend sits next to me, also around 9 years of age in the dream. I whisper to my friend, ( ), excited, maybe we will have a comedy lesson!
She whispers back “no this...is a famous actor”...i whisper back “comedians also act” but shes shaking her head and would say more, but the man stands to speak so we fall silent. He greets us all, and with a gentle sense of humor, presence, writes his name on the chalkboard. “Mr Steve McQueen”
this means nothing to me...i think lightning McQueen? Ohhhh I love the movie cars I think, was he the voice actor? Then he speaks to us. ( ) makes an excited noise, and I think “Yea that must be it, she likes that movie too that’s our favorite game time toy”. Now I listen to his speaking. He says “today is a special day, I have come to play a game! I will be the host, and all you need to do is find your puppets...put on a play, with hand puppets, that is YOU. So all us children scramble to the toy boxes, to find the right puppets. There is no question for me, I know which ones I need, I open a box, and pull out a Ralph puppet...the piano playing dog from the Muppet show, and then a Raggedy Andy doll...that will be me, and Ralph will be the other me character. Its not organized, we all just start doing out interaction...the one hand interacting with the puppet on the other. I really get into mine, and poor Andy is sad, then Ralph the dog is playing on the piano, and the Andy dances...and I end it by the Andy puppet, in a laugh, leaves my hand and flies across the room...and an amazing thing, the puppet turns as if alive and bows, and the Ralph puppet plays the piano, an exit room song. And im smiling looking around. I see Mr McQueen looking at my smiling, approving. So I feel happy. Then I watch others presentations. ( ) does something with a cat, Felix the cat, and big plush...dog. Its so fun...he likes that too. He comes up to us where we are sitting, and gives us some toys. I keep thinking of him as lightning McQueen, so I get that car...a great big one I can push. I think he gives ( ) a airplane from the same series. So now its free play time. And we are on our hands and knees, im pushing the car around, the edges of the room, and she has the airplane, and shes flying it around where I drive, and we are having chases and landing and a fun toy time. The day is almost over, and he calls us over to the desk. Now he shakes our hands, and smiles, and talks a bit about getting out of where he is at now...how fun we make it, students, to do that. He hands us each a business card. Somehow, we are our real ages now...which is funny one moment we were playing with toys, and the next moment, without break, we are two adults talking to another adult. He says he has seen us before, once, a few years ago, and this is his second visit. He will visit 2 more times in the next two years, and then, we can go to him for work when we are done, to visit him...keep the cards to find him. So in 4 years...right, when im 41 sounds good. Then we go back to being children, and we start playing again. But im looking at my card, confused. It does not say Steve, it says Terrance. I ask ( ) who is Terrance? She says that’s his real name...hes not the guy from the movie cars or Steve martin crossed with chevy chase...don’t I know? No, I laugh, I guess I don’t hehe. “Well keep it” she says, “he is a HUGE actor”
Well,Life's like a road that you travel on
There's one day here and the next day gone
Sometimes you bend, sometimes you stand
Sometimes you turn your back to the wind
There's a world outside every darkened door
Where blues won't haunt you anymore where the brave are free and lovers soar
Come ride with me to the distant shore
We won't hesitate
To break down the garden gate
There's not much time left today, yeah
Life is a highway, I wanna ride it
All night long
If you're going my way, I wanna drive it
All night long
Through all these cities and all these towns
It's in my blood and all around
I love you now like I loved you then
This is the road and these are the hands
From Mozambique to those Memphis nights
The Khyber Pass to Vancouver's lights
Knock me down and back up again
You're in my blood, I'm not a lonely man
There's no load I can't hold
The road's so rough this I know
I'll be there when the light comes in tell 'em we're survivors
Life is a highway, I wanna ride it
All night long
If your going my way, I wanna drive it
All night long
Gimme, Gimme, Gimme, Gimme, yeah
Another classroom, a latter time. I am now 16-17 yrs of age, with others of a similar age. It is not instruction time, its social, talking, between class. There is a disruption, a boy stands in the center of the room, and for lack of a better, word, starts bullying the school, with a forceful, ordering energy...he looks like such a person, I knew, from my youth. But like that person, from the past, he was not bad, just lashing out, refusing something...wanting things certain ways that weren’t the ways things really were. So we...we understood. There was a girl, with vibrant, long curly hair, standing near me...Stunningly vibrant and aware, like all of us here. Somehow...we all just KNEW, the whole school...what to do. Movement, interaction, organization...energy, alive, flowing, sharing. People organized...into small groups, and began to act, play, the play...theater, was the interactions of the people, groups. I take a seat, and watch, because an amazing thing, the school shifted, to a vast space, with tall modern pillars of red marble, a towering ceiling where crystal light flooded...magical, alive, vibrant. I find a seat, with the red haired girl, on the sides, where the observers sit. The floor...it rotates, like a circle, slowly...and the theater, are these little groups, standing in place, energy, speaking, singing, but its all one song! One thing! So in one group, is the cheerleaders, jumping, singing...but then they interact with the athletic guys on one side, and then the nerds on the other, an interplay see? But all one song. It rotates, then its overweight girls,. The shunned, but they are alive, shining, all are shining...they boldly show their legs...thick and cellulite...but in the light, their song, to the others, with the others...all is perfect, all are perfect, interacting, in the light...sound..movement...like... the scene from westside story, a fight, a speech...but all one dance, wondrous, my mouth...open...stunned. By the awareness, and how much energy...meaning! Beyond comprehension, certainly beyond my meager words and memory now. It rotates again, and now the cheerleader girl at the top, of that social pyramid, is looking at me, smiling...she understands...what this is...they all do...these aren’t ordinary students, they feel the archetypes and meaning....nagual beings...alive...aware...beyond words. A voice, from the side, at first I don’t hear it, I am still awestruck...then...a tentative squeeze of my hand. This lets me focus one her. I hear “you must think me a silly tween, to show you this” this startles me to turn, and look at her, really see, open. So...alive. “no, no not at all” I say. “this” gesturing at it all... “this...no one has ever, shown so much, so much meaning, alive...no one has ever shared, done something like this...”
“thank you so much”. And then I lean in, and give her a soft kiss on the cheek, and then we lean into each other a bit sitting, still holding hands, and just watch it all...so...wondrous.
Here I am, once again
Feeling lost but now and then
I breath it in to let it go
And you don't know
where you are now
Or what it would come to
if only somebody could hear
When you figure out how
your lost in the moment
you disappear
(Chorus)
You don't have to be afraid to put your dream in action
you're never gonna fade you'll be the main attraction
Not a fantasy
Just remember me
when it turns out right
'cause you if know that if you live in your imagination
tomorrow you'll be everybody's fascination
In my victory
Just remember me
when i make it shine!
(2nd verse)
Reaching high
feeling low
I'm holding on but letting go
I like to shine
I'll shine for you
And it's time to show the world how
it's a little bit closer
as long as I'm ready to go
All we have is right now
as long as you feel it inside you know ....
(Chorus)
You don't have to be afraid to put your dream in action
your never gonna fade you'll be the main attraction
not a fantasy
just remember me
when it turns out right
'cuz you know that if you live in your imagination
tomorrow you'll be everybody's fascination
in my victory
just remember me
when I make it shine!
(Bridge)
Everyone can tell you how it's all been said and done
That harder times will change your mind and make you wanna run
But you want it
And you need it
Like you need to breath the air
If they doubt you
Just believe it
That's enough to get you there
(Chorus)
You don't have to be afraid to put your dream in action
your never gonna fade you'll be the main attraction
not a fantasy
just remember me
when it turns out right
'cuz you know that if you live in your imagination
tomorrow you'll be everybody's fascination
in my victory
just remember me
when I make it SHINE!
Later, I find myself outside a great house, more of a manor. There are three of us there, standing outside. Somehow, we have Acquired, or been given, a great red Semi Truck and trailer, and I carefully park it in the driveway to the garage, but it will not fit. We wonder what to do with it, how to use it...we can not leave it parked outside here, it would not be allowed. We are speaking among ourselves what to do...it is also, a very DANGEROUS thing, if not properly handled. We decide, that we need money, energy, so we decide to make a shipping company. I contemplate painting “Sanford & Son's Hauling” as a joke on the side...but I dare not...that is how powerful of an object this is. While we are doing this, a fourth man, but also a child, in power, climbs into the cab and starts the ignition. He wants to drive...take it, but if he does, it will ruin...cause great ruin, in his state of being at this time.
He is child, and a friend, I can remove him...but I cant...we cant cause him such hurt...so I speak to him...in energy, he is crazy, all over, unsettled, and I understand this, from my past. I speak gently, about the future...past...calm...to share. He doesn’t drive off with this dangerous thing...more to himself then anyone else, but then, we shift to what we deem to be “the emergency plan”. Somehow this involves going to another house, changing...a great manor, but more compact, by some cliffs by the sea.
It had been hit by a great storm, and half...exactly half, had been shorn off. We...bought it from some workmen...their work...modern. So stepping inside, lets say the kitchen, their was Tiffany glass, ornate, that made up the facing of the cabinets...but then...half of them were gone...so workman had built simple wood ones over the remaining part that needed replacing...it felt temporary. It was odd, and detailed, in energy, and this, this was the emergency plan. We got a place, half then and half now, by the sea, and this move...change...half ornate like a dream, half domestic, and a bit drab, was the emergency plan for the man gone a bit mad in powers grip. An older lady then us, wise, managed this transition. And it worked...stabilizing on the man who climbed into the cab. But not...completely....successfully. The child in the truck, it moves now, despite this. When the truck moves, with unstable energy at the wheel...or rather raw energy, like partially formed cheese. It triggers the great disaster we feared...also known as... “the greatest story ever told”.
The truck tears along a country road, and soon, as it had such power, it no longer needs a road, it slices reality like a scalpel, and the two sides of the dream reality, fall away, like a split cloth...soon, the truck is charging through a void, like it pierced the curtain of reality itself. Due to the rendering of the veil, we are chased, we are seen. A great army, in pursuit, of the out of control truck...tanks, aircraft, flowing into the tear in reality, and following in the energy wake of the truck, which is becoming a shadow of the world that was torn, like a still, lifeless, but solid negative image. We...had been hanging onto the outside of the doors of the truck, and now, we managed to open them and climb in...the man was paralyzed, not knowing which way to go or what to do...like a statue. I moved him...and he crumbled. His spirit, energy, had left...this was like a paper mache...imprint...which meant he was fine, elsewhere...but we we stuck in this barreling truck...slowly, I applied the brakes, and it came to a stop. We got out of the cab of the truck, into a solid, yet lifeless, still, shadow world...we were on the outskirts of a mid sized town...lights were on...but utterly still, silent dream that formed around the wound. And behind us...we were not alone...an army...an army was approaching, to fight and destroy whatever had done this...we...flee, up to a hill. Now there is myself, another man, who I call Loki...he has face paint like the character from the series “vikings” and the...red haired woman! None of us were really shinning now, in this lifeless place...we were getting to cover, trying to hide from the approaching army.
A great battle erupts. A great, epic battle. We now are wearing bone shirts...like ghost dance, and have painted on our faces, and gathered weapons. Explosions, troops streaming...they fight...something else. Another force, came to the same spot, for the same reason. The quality of the action, frenetic, visceral, was...overpowering. We seem to observe, from a hill. When we fight, or fire, its to shift the invading army that followed us towards the force from the other side...We have a plan it seems. Suddenly, a troop transport aircraft...a great C-17 transport, loaded with troops flies low towards the hill. They want to drop them on top of us...take the hill. For the first time, we target a thing, rather then shoot around them to herd them. Loki fires his gun, weapon, and it splits the transport low to the ground...it slides along the ground, spilling troops out, and a wing goes past my head. The noise! Heat...sound...its...wow. So real! And it shakes me. Most of the men and women survive, and rather then take the hill...they stream back to their front line with the unseen energetic force they battle. I watch them...how the march in lines..three parallel lines. One female, two men. Woman on left, then a
man, then another man, but so one long line of women, and two of men next to them, in unison...this is energetic, how they fight! There are people like us, with the unseen force, dressed the same, these are what these soldiers focus on. The three of us speak...what to do now. We decide, since we are cut off...both armies now, are cut off...the energy rift the truck made sealed healed...now we are cut off. We decide to don the uniforms of some fallen soldiers, and infiltrate the soldiers. See, some of the lines, were not fully formed...we could slot in in energy, and march unseen! So we do this...Me and Loki walk besides a woman, and the head of a broken line...she has a really cute pony tail...ahh....its the girl I looked at in the “let it shine” dance. And we march....the red haired girl find a empty spot next to two men, and then we end up going separate directions...the battle slows down...it seems these soldiers have won.
I look around, Loki is with me...the pony tail woman is besides us. We find a building they made the base camp...in the still dead world. These soldiers don’t know what to do next, they are regrouping. Loki and I go to the restroom...it looks like a public gym to talk, but we only have a few moments. We converse...where is the red haired girl? She got away, and slipped ahead, towards...well, towards the fey world which is where the army with slaves came from...human slaves. Soon the pony tail girl come sin as well, and then another group of 2 men and a woman. The pony tail girl...is the commander of this army it seems. “So” she says, “who are you?” We had the presence of mind to sorta burn out uniforms a bit, convincingly, in such a way it had obscured the name etc...and had taken dog tags and choked ourselves with them a bit...so it looked like they had been removed by great force then discarded them...thinking ahead. I spoke “we are reservists with the 52 mechanized infantry mam” She peers at us with narrowed eyes. “you were not on the transport, where did you come from”. “sir...we were captured on recon by the slaves...we managed to escape, we disguised our faces with this paint” (we had forgotten to remove it and she noticed). “well, you are quite the super soldiers for reservists...tell me...how did you escape...with what weapons?” Loki speaks... “a shank, man, a little metal shank we made”. Really...a shank....i find it hard to believe...” and it got tense. Then I spoke some more. While I spoke, Loki somehow merged with the shadow, and put the little blade to her neck...impossibly, like his arm twisted... he nicked her neck in such a way it bled slightly, but she didn’t even feel it. “We did it just how we did it to you” and she gasped...touched her neck...a drop of blood...and saw that Loki somehow got behind her. “Well Goddamn...Goddamn...you boys are super soldiers, and laughed, smiling. Then she asked, wondering. “why do you call the enemy slaves?” We say...that’s what they told us...they were slaves, to the ruling power beyond...wherever this is....and they all looked around, its sinking in...they didn’t have a clue what was going on.
Time passes, montage, further and further this army from the other side, our side...goes. A slow march, towards an unknown (to them) Goal. Things have changed, somewhat. The main enemy force has withdrawn to their core lands, and the closer the army gets, the dream realms become alive again. Villages of people, the slaves, greet them as liberators, share food and energy, let them rest. We come to the last village...the last village based on our world...a small place, but in the alive lands...beyond...is the mysterious beyond...a wall of clouds, and a forest, with a single meadow along a river, the gateway to this inner realm. I come too, see myself, from above. I am laying on my back, my hands behind my head, looking at the ceiling. The blond pony tail woman, is nude besides me, spread out on the blankets, in a light sleep. The bedsheets are twisted, and the blanket tossed aside...as apparently, are our uniforms. Ahh...battlefield love I think...or something, laughing in a voice outside myself. This makes the me in the bed smile. He reaches over the sleeping woman, to grab his cigarettes, which are on her side of the bed. At this she stirs, and rolls over, and catches his...my...arm, smiling. She states, simply. “I know your not a soldier...who are you, one of the slaves?” I smile, and slowly pull my arm away, smiling...very slowly, I pull out cigarette, and put it in my mouth, in no hurry to light it. “no...we were not slaves...we are the ones who ripped the hole you came to seal, the ones you came to destroy”. She just grunts at this, and I see myself looking around for my metal lighter. I look towards her, and she has it open, flame lit...and I lean in and she lights my smoke. “that was you huh?” I say...carefully...”that was us...” and there is a long pause, and I take a deep drag on the smoke. “But, I continue, we didn’t intend for that to happen...we had this “truck” and a kid decided to take the wheel...and it went from “Sanford and sons” trucking too... war of the worlds” Took another drag, and now she sat up next to me real close...she looked like she did not know to strike me, laugh, or scream...she settled in a slow chuckle. Then she asks... “the Intel you give me...its real? What you said?” “yea” I say... ne of us went ahead...you see we are trapped here now too...we all need to get home. “home” she says as if unsure what that really means anymore. “So if we go ahead, we find” “the enemy...the slave masters” I say. “but beyond that?” she asks me. “beyond that, the way home...Freedom” Home, has a different meaning to both of us now, not what it was at the start. My smoke is half gone. She is deep in thought... “you know, I saw you right away...no one can move like that....i knew, even if I didn’t know what...i SAW you” I look a bit confused... “that was not me...that was the other guy with me...Loki” I say. Now she has a big coy smile. “there was no other guy...just you...you didn’t know...it was all you...and I SAW” Now im the one dumbstruck. She takes the cigarette from my hand, where it was dangling...took a deep drag, smoked the rest of it in one long draw. With a single movement, she flicked it, uncaring against the wall...and I saw it bounce, the sparks. While I was distracted, she grasped my face, and with a great open mouthed kiss. Blew half a cigarettes worth of smoke out of her lungs into mine...it had no where to go, some went back to her, through my mouth, but most came out my nose, as I sputtered, and then laughed. She drew me back down to the bed, and then, Well...you know. Got to keep this pg-13 and all. As the scene faded to black...i heard laughter...deep laughter. It was Loki...whatever that is...who that is. I had a funny thought, such a cheeky little wanker, hes the kind that apparently likes to just watch...and in that laughing, the scene fades to black, like a film.
It fades like a film, because it was a film. I am now, my awareness, in a movie theater, modern, in a town. Watching this film. And here, it goes...magical. Scenes like a montage, like the end of mad max, no dialogue. The army...it enters the valley, with the river, and crosses the fog. Music plays...tanks and helicopters, and a thousand marching soldiers, including me...into the fog...and then a dramatic camera angle...a sun...an eternal sun, like daybreak, or sunset...a land alive, with magic. Power. Winged dragons, centaurs, creatures of history and mythology. These...greet the army, those that aren’t thralls...join with it. It swells. Men holding assault riffles, riding on the backs of great basilisks. The villages of people...they have never seen technology, its like cold iron...fire. They worship those that can wield it, add their magic to the cause...a great host, like a sea, men and beast, ride...the blonde woman looses the pony tail...and takes up a sword...and rides atop a great dragon, instead of a Humvee. The army...like a river...comes to a great river...a boundary. An impossibly large log, of knotted wood...the begin to cross. On the other side, a great giant rises, from fallen stone, and wood...green plants spring from him...he wears a slave collar. He roars, as large as a mountain. A tank fires...hits his leg, and he falls, and as he does...he swings his club, and knocks the tank into the water...as this happens, the woman...she runs over, and cuts his shackles...they know where to strike the chords now. And the giant looks up, with a large tear, and says simply...”friend”. And the camera pulls out, the army...the crusade...for freedom...home...continues...it passes Stonehenge, and as it passes, the flat grassy plain is alive with trees, and singing...now the land pules with the army...the eternal setting or rising sun shines through Stonehenge, and the earth grids...the real ones, are alive now...magic. I...cry In the theater, soft, quiet tears...the camera pulls out, and shows a massive city, like the ship in krull...the home of the masters... and the end credits roll. Rest is in the next chapter its a three pater I know...i love those dreams...it will come. Like little mouse...three books, in three separate years. The lights in the theater go on. People rise. Some look moved like me. Some are angry...one woman with particularly vile energy says “this is blasphemous, all wrong...war...soldiers are all bad” She is hanging in the doorway, at the back of the theater...i tell her...his... “you know nothing!” She scoffs at me and huffs off. I stand there, by the door, thinking. The theater is empty....or so I think...a voice...a man says “excuse me do you have a moment?”.
I turn, and sitting in a seat in the last row, is a man...a bit pudgy, thick glasses, brown eyes and hair. A bit...mousey. He finished writing in his notepad, and places it in his jacket and stands, and extends a hand. He greets me “John Ellison, City Daily news film reviewer” He continues... “I want to ask you, what did you mean when you said you know nothing to that woman...to be honest, I almost expected you add Jon snow at the end...but you don’t look like a bridget” At this I relax, and chuckle... “no no...what I meant was, her expectation, what she expected to see, doesn’t make this untrue I....” when I hesitate, he nods towards the door. “Walk with me, just one second, I need to call a cab” and we walk out together, out of the brightly lit lobby...and out onto a rain soaked city street. There is a light drizzle, and fog...their is an awning all along the city, block, and when hes finished with his call, we slowly walk to the end of the block talking...i see it from above...its like a film noir scene, moving between light of lamps and shadow...through the dripping fog. I continue were I left off, and decide to tell him...really tell him what I meant. “what I meant is you know nothing...because I was THERE”. When I say this he stops, and looks at me, with a hardness. “You were a soldier...” the way he says it is like a curse...this is not a place that condones armies somehow. I take my time...and pull a cigarette out of my jacket pocket, and light it right in front of him...his face tenses like he is offended...but I light it anyway. And I smoke it, quickly, in silence. And continue...clearly, he is hooked, whatever his reaction. “no I mean....i was there...i am there...it is my story”. This confuses him, and then slowly, something dawns, I see his eyes look surprised. He takes out his notepad, as if to write...his nervous habit...but what can he write? He closes it and puts it away. He then...asks for a cigarette...which I give him. I lean over to light it, but he waves it away...he acted like he wasn’t a smoker, but he had a lighter...interesting....appropriate. After a few puffs he continues. “even if you were...there...he says with some disbelief, how could you prove it...that was...a story, removed. Not an event. Next you will tell me you a frodo baggins...i think you can see the root of my skepticism... I look at him, lock my gaze to his, and begin to shift, like Loki...into the shadow, into the light, around the light pole and I say, hiss. “I was THERE, and it is my story...you know nothing! Noooooooooooothing I say, like a ghost. He sees! He...shakes...the cigarette dangles, limp from his lip, as he sees...and shivers, in the mist, under the lamp. Even int hat form, I take the cigarette from his mouth, and now he looks like he wants to run, and as a cloud, smoke, and release a cloud of smoke into his face. I say “I am Loki, I was there, and it is my story...you know NOTHING”....nothing...it echoes in the rain...for now the man is alone, and he...sees. And I wake. Fin
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