My latest experience

[alice9]

I was having a dream about being trapped in an apartment building. It
was in a city, but we seemed to be separated from the rest of the
community. There was an area around the building where no one even
walked by, but traffic could be seen in the mid-distance. There were a
lot of other apartments, but we seemed to be the only people. There was
one guy in his early 20's and a teenage boy and I was of comparable age.
There was this aura of doom hanging over the place. We couldn't seem to
figure out what was wrong. Then I opened a door and there was something
inside, in the dark, that I couldn't quite make out. The more I looked,
the more what I thought I saw changed, until it became giant rats. We
were all freaking out and trying to run back into the upper floors, to
the apartment. Later the rats changed into viscious dogs and one nearly
got me in a dragged out scene of slow motion time like happens in horror
movies. One of us was trying to get up an outside metal ladder, the kind
where there is a round cage around the ladder. One of the rats become
dog was right behind the teen boy and we were yelling for him to hurry
HURRY! and were only barely able to slam the lock on the upper end gate
before the dog got through. That was a weird scene that involved a
cleaver suddenly becoming part of the scene and it was what I used to
trip the latch and shut the gate around the jaws of the attacking dog,
which became an ivory colored monkey with very long arms. I thought we
should try to get in touch with the world outside, but it seemed
fleeting, like that wasn't a possibility. There was also a momentary
consideration for others in the building, though that also seemed like
something impossible. We never saw any signs of others.
It was after all of this drama and excitement that I was wandering
around the apartment. I needed to pee and I couldn't find the bathroom.
The lighting had changed and I was shocked. I'd seen the place as lovely
and comforting before but now it looked very dated and used and had
unpleasant colors and carpeting. I walked around and kept coming upon
the same room. Like leaving that room, there it was again. The third
time this happened, I realised I was dreaming. I gasped and said aloud
"I'm Dreaming!!". My next thought was that I needed to get in touch with
people in the outside world to help me. They would wake me and I
wouldn't pee the bed. So I started screaming for help and rolling
violently around. I felt I was doing this outside my dreaming, the
rolling, but that maybe it wasn't as violent as I intended. And my
screaming was just quiet moaning sounds. It was as if I had some input
from my sleeping body and the room around me, but mainly I was
physically in the dream.
I ran over to a nearby large mirror. I was running my hands obsessively
through my hair (I had short hair with large curls but otherwise like my
real hair, which helped convince me this was real) and trying to stare
into my own eyes, but the pupils kept melting out of the sockets and
reforming. I felt kind of insane at the time. I had a startling thought
that I should think of who I wanted to visit. An odd list of people I've
known ran quickly through my head as I tried harder to concentrate and
still my thoughts and stare into my own eyes.
The disturbing part of this came when I awoke, because although it
wasn't a part of what happened in the dream, I was sure some part of me
had gone out looking for one of the people I'd listed. And that made me
nearly panic. I don't want to be haunting random people from my past.
And I saw quite clearly why a shaman needs to have control over self and
intentions and even daydreams and random thoughts. I willed as hard as I
could that if this happened that whatever I sent out come back and merge
with me. And I thought this is probably why nothing comes to teach me.
My impetuousness makes me dangerous.
As I laid in bed, waiting to return to sleep, I began to feel really
funny. My stomach felt scooped out but really full all at once. A
physical feeling but not for physical reasons. I had my tongue on the
roof of my mouth anyway. I tried circulating the energy and my hands
began to throb. Then I started to get lightheaded. After several minutes
of increasing intensity, I woke Jimmy to tell him what was happening and
ask his advice. He suggested I do what I'd been doing and concentrate on
my dantien. Soon after, my feet began to throb as well. Then the hand
and stomach thing abated and I could feel lines of energy running up and
down both my legs. It was stunning. I tried to pull energy up into my
third eye and crown chakras for a while, then settled on focusing on my
dantien.
Back to the lucid dream, I left the mirror and began running around the
livingroom of the apartment in the dream. I felt like I should dance,
only the "dancing" looked more like yoga poses I'd been looking at in my
magazine earlier that day. I had a thought of trying an asana, but this
was pushed aside by distractions in the dream. Someone was in the room
watching me. I went outside and ended up in the street with different
versions of the two boys from earlier in the dream. I was feeling really
ecstatic and staring up at the sky, wandering and feeling floaty and
dreamy. The older of the two boys came up and took me by the hand. There
was something I was thinking about trying since I was lucid, but he said
no, I'd want to do this instead. I was so happy in the head that I just said ok
and let myself be led along. He laid me down in the street on my belly
and began removing my clothes. I had this long imagination of what would
happen and decided that would be ok, it would be neat to be melding with
someone. Then I was all inside my thoughts and the action in the street
went away. I had vivid sensations of being joined with another person.
It wasn't sexual at all. It was such a foreign feeling that I can't
describe it properly. It felt like the feeling I get in the pit of my stomach on fair rides but
also that was only a tiny single part of it. I could go into another
person and retain my individuality, but also be a part of them. That
aspect didn't get very complex but I can't explain it much better. After
I woke, this fascinated my mind and it kept coming back while I worked
on the energy feelings. Eventually I decided the best thing would be to
use something I'd read and imagine the god/goddess scenario, to think up
a male god figure to do that merging with to be sure I wasn't doing any
wrong things with it. Plus I thought maybe that would help me achieve
more, to get in touch with my higher self.

[Guest]

Hi, Alice9,
Glad you posted your dream here seeing that the other place is temporarily on the blink.
Whatever it takes to become lucid in a dream seems to work doesn't it? Some look for their hands while others recognize the obvious incongruities while dreaming.
Nice dream!
Wakulla

[alice9]

This was definitely the strangest encounter with lucidity I've experienced. Also the most ecstatic, as it's usually thrilling but short-lived. Then to have the energy experiences along with it...I've never felt my leg channels before in any of the practises. It was quite a surprise. The boss says isn't it amazing what we accomplish when we get out of our own way (aren't trying).
The next night, I was flying/floating again. Must be a good time for events.

[alice9]

Dreams eariler in the day seemed to lead into this. There was one of being asleep in the bedroom and hearing water dripping. When I turned on the light, an old problem in the ceiling (from a house long ago) was allowing the rain to drip into a little tv on a dresser there. I got up and kept tipping the water out, J and I assuring each other it would work fine later on.
Then I dreamed about a mall. The first part of the dream came from dreaming I was in an old tv soap opera. As I walked away from it, I was looking into different stores in a disinterested way. The whole place was dim and closed, as if it was only open for whatever I and the people I'd been with were doing. I came to an open room/store where I was shocked to see birds, hundreds of birds, walking everywhere. Well, I just Had to go in there and see what was going on. I was being careful and I was accompanied by some other woman. I said we're going to get the bird flu from this, as the floor was nearly all poo. Inside, there was a middle aged hippie woman with lovely long, curling hair sitting on the floor. She invited us to play with the birds. I went to a corner where there were many cockatiels? something like them. I held out my arm and began to talk their way to them. One jumped onto my arm. One tried and fell. They didn't seem to fly, just jump from place to place. All their cages were open and sitting on the floors. Then I noticed there were kittens in the cage, too. In this cage area there were three, all the same orange color. The birds seemed to like the bird talk and I almost got them to respond with their own.

My identical cousin was with me and we went to see a monk who was set up there. I'd been through once already, but we were going again before we went somewhere to meet someone I knew (maybe J). In the monk's area, we entered an open hall. The first one was set up at a table. As we approached we were asked if we studied certain things. I didn't always tell the truth about what I'd studied (energy work, like martial arts). The monks were in cermonial robes, more minor monks outside the room where the main monk was at work. We were then allowed through a passage and into the main room. The main room appeared empty and the presence of others wasn't felt even though there were many people coming in and leaving. It was like none of us we conscious of each other. Each person walked to a little area of their own and began to think about or look at items that cause them to think about whatever it was they came in regards to. Mine must have been energy, because I was looking at asian artifacts/ a book, and practicing stances. The monk came up and began his ceremony. It was supposed to be some sort of blessing, but while it was probably proper to be submissive or prayerful at the time, I was studying him and seeing if he was sensing anything in me or if I could sense anything in him.
We then passed into an antechamber where a third monk was collecting donations. Except that he seemed like exactly the same monk and was still watching us, like a test. I remembered to offer to pay for my cousin after having a small panic that I might have forgotten to see if I even had any money on me. The donation was Expected, as in they would be pretty hostile if it wasn't given. I was worried she wouldn't have enough money for herself for later, but then I was angry at the monk because I realised he was probably watching me and that made my gesture seem cheap, for show, when it wasn't.
On outside, in a little parking lot, were people processing their experiences. The only one I can really remember was the lemon/lime man. This man was dressed in what looked like cricket gear, only it was made mostly of limes and a few lemons. With all his might he was pitching something at a lemon that had been nailed to the brick wall of the mall. The lemon represented some negative answer the monk had given and he was attempting to undo it.

At some point after, I was in a crowed room in a waiting area off a suite of offices. It seemed like some sort of pitch meeting had taken place and now a very diverse group of individuals, myself included, were waiting at schooldesks and in random chairs in a ring around the edges. The atmosphere was stuffy and a little stressed. I looked around and saw someone I knew. R and I had a history together that neither of us was particularly proud about and we'd last parted as sort of mutual combatants who've agreed to a draw and back away with swords at the ready, just in case.
I left the meeting and R was in the doorway. As he passed me by, he purposefully brushed my forehead with his forearm. It was a loving, forgiving sort of gesture. He asked why I'd wanted him there. I explained that he is an attorney and that I'd learned that sometimes you have to have other people help with these things. I held my hands in front of me to demonstrate. My fingers several inches apart, I showed how I had done this much and moved them several inches closer, but that left a gap. Then I named someone else and they'd helped (fingers closer) and he'd helped (fingers closer) and yet another person (fingers meet). He seemed relieved and accepting of my explanation. As he turned to go he spoke to another man who'd accompanied him, his own attorney, thanking him and dismissing him. I was sad right away that he thought my asking him to come had been a way to get him there and cause him trouble over past issues. We agreed to go to lunch, were to meet at a restaurant where G (I think) was already waiting. But I knew G might be upset with seeing him. Still we were all going to be there and I wanted that gathering to happen.
Waiting for that lunch was stressful. I had a baby in my arms and I looked out the window and saw some things I could show her. We squeezed through an constricted opening not meant for people and I began to show her a little stream. It was of waste water, but she didn't know that. She only knew it was water and there were interesting things floating along. We followed it down and I chose my steps carefully as I carried her.
Suddenly I was by a very wide, calm river. J was at my side. A train was coming, a big freight train. One of the flat cars was loaded with storage boxes stacked three high and several deep, the truck-sized ones that go on ships. I said I can't imagine what that has to weigh! Then I looked ahead to where the train was going and panic seized me. I half screamed that it was going into the water! J calmly said that it was the (and named a particular train, some hyphenated name). He spoke as if it was well-known, inferred it travels that way. I watched in amazement as the whole train pulled itself into the water at speed and disappeared. I ruined my mind a little, thinking what that must be like. But I was thinking about the water itself, the disturbance.
Then we were in G's big old yellow Cadillac car, the damned dream car, and J was driving. Some slob guy was between us. We were in the water and driving along, rapidly sinking, just beyond where the train had gone under. I had a frightening rush of adrenaline and told J to try the windows, but with the water already over the hood, I suspected the engine would have no power and the power windows wouldn't respond. I dove into the glove compartment for anything heavy and began passing metal objects to everyone. I took a metal Maglite style flashlight in hand and hit my window Hard even as my mind was reminding me to really hit it with all I had. Instead of breaking, it rolled right down.
I was watching objects go by the window of the car when I suddenly became lucid. I had taken in a deep breath and my eyes got wide and it came to me suddenly. It got sunnier out and the car quit sinking. We motored along on the with the water just below the doorframe top. It was pretty down there, lots of trees growing up out of greenish water. I turned in a sort of daze as I thought about what I was supposed to do with my lucidity. Upon seeing my passengers, I began to use them. R was back, now in the middle seat. Why are you here? I asked him. When I did, he changed into someone else I don't know.
Next thing I knew, I was back on shore with my baby. I walked to the trunk of a car and rested her there, really looking into her face, her unusual eyes. They were very alive, lively eyes. A Dark, moody blue with great flecks of gold. She was smiling and wiggling, much more than a normal baby smile, like she was in ecstasy. I picked her up and nuzzled her head under the my cheek and hugged her for a prolonged time. I hugged her and felt this wonderful peace and boundless love that seemed to melt all boundaries. Like there wasn't a me loving her or anything outside of us, there was just this feeling. I tried to remember what it was like to have her. Imagined her being born all over again so I could check her toes and work my way up, saving her face for last so that I could keep that wonderful suprise for myself for one more moment.
I began to wander back to the mall and passed a traffic jam. Somehow that made continuing my time with her possible and I smiled and walked away from the car I must have been in. We ended up in a restaurant, though I was barely conscious of other things. A man's toddler threw food on the floor next to us and he apologized for the child. I gave him a little wave of dismissal that I meant to say It's ok, you aren't really here and continued in my reverie.

[alice9]

My Blog- http://jamestwohats.com/quartremoon/
has links to my other writings on the Internet. My blog is the new location for my adventures, dream log and whatever whatever.

[Nagual LoneWolf]

Hi Alice..

[Guest]